News of the Restless

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 20

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Sabina Becker

manuel-alvarez-tweets

It’s 11:00. Do you know where YOUR ironies are? If you don’t, well, here you go. I got another one for you, right here. The latest from the sneak-thieves and bastards of a certain oil-rich South American land, exposed:

On Twitter, you can detect many things and it proves that lies have short legs.

As well, you can see evidence of how the revolutionary government creates jobs, and does good regardless of who you are, since afterwards, many of those who benefited committed crimes like those of the 14th and 15th of April, after the elections.

In the case of Mr. Manuel Alvarez, his application for a job was seen to, and as you can see on his Twitter profile, he was accepted by PDVSA to work in the Amuay refinery.

Now, he’s not only calling for the death of National Electoral Council rector Tibisay Lucena and calling [National Assembly president] Diosdado Cabello a “son of a bitch”, but actively participated in the pot-banging protests to discredit the will of the democratic majority, expressed in the recent elections, and even published videos of them on the Internet.

The great majority of opposition members who work in public administration, do their job and don’t set out to violate the Constitution and the laws, but how many others are there like Mr. Alvarez, actively offending and calling for the deaths of high-level functionaries of government?

Is it a violation of labor rights to fire a person who publicly calls for the deaths of high-level public servants?

Wasn’t the Amuay refinery recently subjected to a sabotage?

Translation mine.

And yes, the Amuay refinery WAS the target of a recent sabotage attack, which was very conveniently seized on by Majunche Capriles and his goons, as is the Venezuelan national electric company, Corpoelec. At the latter, the situation is so disturbing that the company president, Argenis Chávez (yes, he’s the younger brother of the late Chavecito; he’s also an electrical engineer by training, so this was not a case of simple nepotism, as he was actually qualified to do the job) has chosen to step down in order for investigations to proceed freely and fairly.

But then again, Argenis Chávez is a democrat, like his older brother, who actually listened and, oh evil dictator, helped out when a job applicant contacted him via Twitter. And he isn’t a shameless prick like Manuel Alvarez and all those other saboteurs of Venezuelan democracy. You know, the ones who are always crying fraud and resorting to violence in reaction to a government devoid of fraud, and which does not resort to violence against them.

And the same who claim to be democratic while overtly acting as anything but.

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Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Karma 1, Dogma 0 | Comments Off

Once again, shoddy journalism from the Schloppenheimer

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Sabina Becker

schloppenheimer

If you ever wonder why I don’t think very highly of Andrés Oppenheimer, the Miami Horrid’s little scribbler of untruths and inanities on all things Venezuela, maybe this will provide you some clues. He is, among other things, a rude and disingenuous little shit:

Venezuelan deputy and now chargé d’affaires to the United States, Calixto Ortega, debunked the false accusations of Argentine journalist Andrés Oppenheimer against the revolutionary government and President Nicolás Maduro.

“You made statements which don’t correspond to reality, maybe you’re misinformed,” said the parliamentarian, addressing Oppenheimer.

Oppenheimer, upon being “blown away” by Ortega, cut the interviewee’s audio, and made excuses, saying: “A public apology to Venezuelan deputy Calixto Ortega for Skype being down when we were talking.”

The video was shown by the host of VTV’s “Dossier”, Walter Martínez, who commented: “How nice — another worthy example of the garbage of Fox News and CNN, that Señor Oppenheimer.”

Translation mine.

Here’s the video of that:

See, this is why journalism is going downhill in the Northern Hemisphere. They don’t have enough people like Walter Martínez, who is honest and courteous, and never makes excuses…because he never HAS to. Instead, we up here get a whole slew of drecky Schloppenheimers.

And that, gentle reader, is why you won’t know shit about Venezuela as long as you trust the media up here.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Huguito Chavecito, Newspeak is Nospeak, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

Stupid Sex Tricks: Oh no no!

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Sabina Becker

bad-rum-ad

Gentlemen, seriously, do NOT try this. Unless what you’re really aiming for is a bottle of Captain Morgan, broken over your head.

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Posted in Madvertising, Stupid Sex Tricks, Teh Heterostoopid | Comments Off

Things not so lulzy for LulzSec lately

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Sabina Becker

maduro-hacked

Well, isn’t this awkward. Looks like the Australian police have busted a phony Peruvian for hacking the tweeter of a rather famous former bus driver:

As is well known, in recent days, the Twitter account of then-candidate and now President of Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro, and of the United Socialist Party of Venezuela (PSUV) were hacked on election day, April 14, by info-pirates for a few hours.

The attack was attributed to LulzSec Peru, and this was published on the President Maduro’s Twitter account, as can be seen in the image above.

According to the AFP news agency, a young man, 24 years old, was arrested yesterday in the suburb of Gosford Point Clare.

He is charged with the unauthorized modification of data to cause damage, and unauthorized access to a restricted information system.

The presumed leader of the group LulzSec has assumed responsibility on various occasions for high-level cyberattacks, among them one on the web page of the CIA.

The targets of the Anonymous-offshoot group also include the Japanese corporation Sony, the website of the British anti-organized crime association (SOCA), the National Health Service of the United Kingdom, the Arizona state police, and the media group, News International.

LulzSec dissolved in July 2011 and its leaders were arrested in March of this year. Since the FBI declared the group “decapitated”, last April the group apparently reappeared as “LulzSec Reborn”.

Translation mine.

No word yet on who the hacker is, but I’m sure the hackee is very relieved to know he’s in custody. You can mess with Sony, you can mess with the Arizona State Police, but you would be well advised not to fuck with Maduro. Not only because he’s one of the world’s good guys, but because he can fold you up and stick you in his shirt pocket.

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Posted in Huguito Chavecito, Inca Dink-a-Doo, Isn't That Illegal?, Oceania, Schadenfreude | Comments Off

Statement from HIJOS Paraguay on the sham election

Posted on April 22, 2013 by Sabina Becker

paraguay-ribbon

From my Facebook feed this morning, a link of interest to those following the Paraguayan coup and sham election. It’s from HIJOS Paraguay, the Paraguayan equivalent of a similarly named group from Argentina comprised of the children of persons disappeared by the dictatorship of that land. As you may have guessed, the Stroessner era in Paraguay produced similar phenomena, and surviving victims of that time have spoken out against yesterday’s election result:

For hours, we couldn’t speak. For hours, as at the moment our parents were kidnapped, we lost our breath.

The most infinite pain; the consecration of Forgetting and Impunity. We have always said that “A People who Forget come back to Repeat their History”. And today — again — we have come back as a people to repeat it.

The Colorado Party stained our land with blood; our soil; our lives. Their president, the General GENOCIDE, Alfredo Stroessner Matiauda, headed the longest dictatorship of the region. It was the Colorado Party which presided from civil power over the Genocide in which 450,000 PERSONS were deprived of freedom. Hundreds of thousands of them today remain “disappeared”.

One by one our homes were surrounded by the Armed Forces. One by one, they were clouded by absences. But now it looks like Our Own People Forget what we lived; what they themselves also lived; what we all lived, let us recall a bit. With the strength that we still have left. With eyes filled with tears; with soaked handkerchiefs.

On May 4, 1954, there was a Coup d’état, the FIRST IN THE SOUTHERN CONE, the beginning of the end. The Colorado Party — the one they voted for today — took over all the powers, and with the help of the Armed Forces, it prohibited ALL POLITICAL PARTIES; it PROHIBITED ALL SOCIAL OR COMMUNIST ORGANIZATION; it interfered with the Judicial Power; it interfered with all public institutions; it only permitted voting for the Colorado Party affiliate, and it only allowed voting for the National Republican Association (Colorado Party). If you got married, you had to join. If you graduated from university, you had to join. If not, they took your diploma, and you would be persecuted.

By Decree of the Dictatorship they prohibited our dialect; Guaraní was prohibited as a Language in all institutions. Indigenous communities were persecuted, such as the Mbya Guaraní and the Aché tribe. Entire communities were exterminated because for the Stronista Genocide, they represented a “cultural backwater”.

Likewise, under the orders of Stroessner’s Colorado Party: peasants, employees, studets, professionals, housewives; adults, youths and even adolescents began to join the “List of the Disappeared”.

Nobody knew about them. The Jails did not contain them. Nobody set foot in a police station, nor did a judge receive a missing persons report; the families kept quiet about the kidnappings for fear of future reprisals, and Society answered the horror with Forgetting and more Silence.

Hundreds of Girls were torn from their families and villages for Sexual Exploitation in the more than 689 Clandestine Detention Centres. Girls with no politics, most of them with no schooling at all, were selected by emissaries of the Colorado Party and brought to these houses of horror from which the majority Never Again returned.

In 1959, as a result of the morality imposed by the Colorado Party and its relationship with the Catholic Church and the Archbishop of Asunción, they began to single out, persecute, kidnap and kill hundreds of homosexuals. In the words of journalist Bernardo Aranda, it was a crime of passion: Killed for Being Free. In 1982, under the same concept of “National Morality”, they persecuted and killed more than 600 persons: Detained — Disappeared for Being Free.

During the Stronista Genocide they created 689 CLANDESTINE DETENTION, TORTURE AND EXTERMINATION CENTRES. In 1959, the first “Death Flights” of the region took place. More than 500 Children were “disappeared” from their homes, hundreds of them not even born yet but still in their mothers’ bellies at the time.

From the beginning of the Genocide, the Colorado Party was financed by its Civilian Accomplices. They are: the Coca-Cola company; MARTEL; Pepsi-Cola; CAPSA; Monsanto; the Carrizosa family and their DIESA (Miguel Carrizosa was a defeated political candidate); the Zucolillo family and their media monopoly, ABC; the Rubin family and their Radio Ñanduty; Toyota; Bi-National Itaipú; Yaireta Paraguay; the Alberzzoni family and their PILAR S.A.; ANDE; ANTE; FRISA S.A.; Cornelius Walde; BITTAR; YBAGA; Bosch Sugar Co.; LA AMERICANA S.A.; Pompa Beer; Hoekle Sugar Co.; Grupo Godoy; MADIMPA; Estancias Englewart; the Riquelme family and their flour mills; the Guanes family and their Grupos Consultores Alto Paraná; the Industrial Union of Paraguay (UIP); APAL; the Fioritto family of Villarrica and the Collante family of Caaguazú; Hotel Guaraní; and many more.

It was the the Colorado Party, under the Washington Consensus, that betrayed Alfredo Stroessner himself and, in 1989, under another coup d’état, installed General Andrés Rodríguez. After 35 YEARS OF GENOCIDE, the Colorado Party installed more than 60 YEARS OF SOCIAL EXCLUSION AND DEPENDENCE OF PARAGUAY UPON THE UNITED STATES.

With the years, our people were transformed into a representation of the interests of the north against their brothers of the south. The Stronista Senate prohibited the entry of Venezuela to MERCOSUR. By law, it permitted the intervention of the United States under the Financing Laws, by USAID and by “Acción Colaboracionista” of the Armed Forces.

The Pantheon of Heroes was stained with the blood of the “Paraguayan March”; 300 campesinos were imprisoned for Political Reasons and another 450 were put on trial for fighting. Under their “democracy” they killed 796 campesinos and social activists.

Little by little, the “Walls of Silence” rose. There was never a prisoner of GENOCIDE, never a Judged and Condemned.

We HIJOS were told we shouldn’t fight. That we should forget. That we should forgive. That we should keep silence; that we should shut up.

But in 2009, because blood was thicker than water, than this damned social mandate, we sought each other out. We looked each other in the face. We got to know each other. We met and identified ourselves. We began to learn our histories. We were no longer alone. We began to look for solutions; to talk of the dreams of our parents; to take the experiences of other brothers and other countries, and we saw that it wasn’t impossible. We began to organize; we began to see that we could do it, and we did do it. And we created work teams and went to look for our people. And we went out for Justice and Punishment. For the Truth against Forgetting and Silence.

And our sister countries received us and started their cases against the Genocides and their Civil Accomplices. Every writing, every day, seemed like a new victory. The impossible was real.

In 2012 we received four blows. A coup d’état crushed us again. Federico Franco, of the most Stronista branch of the Authentic Radical Liberal Party, deposed Fernando Lugo; he deposed the will of a people. The Civil Accomplices infiltrated our organism and took advantage of the disorientation caused by the coup. They stole our archives. As a result of that coup, our comrade José Zelarrayan died, and as a parallel consequence of the coup, our comrade ambassador Gabriel Enciso López also died.

They beat us. We fell. Once we were on the ground, the defamation campaigns against members of our organization began. They began to injure comrades from allied organizations, and our brothers all over the world.

But, because our blood is stubborn, we got back up again.

And we called out the Genocidal Putschists from Yesterday and Today: Lilian Samaniego, Miguel Carrizosa, Osvaldo Fioritto, Domingo Laino, Efraín Alegre. We will publish the truth about the Elected Putschist President, Horacio Cartes, and ALL THE CANDIDATES!

We will file suit against their Civil Accomplices. Just as we did with some of the genocides, we will do with them and bring them before the Argentine Judiciary. For the theft of our archives; for the falsification of documents; for the injuries and calumnies; they were and are Culpable: María Rosa Oviedo (embezzler of the NGO, “Busquedas”); Vanina Elizabeth Arce (embezzler of the NGO “Busquedas”); Gisela Di Vincenzo (embezzler of the NGO “Busquedas”); Joel González (member of the PLRA, genocide and activist of the “Movimiento 138”); Víctor Osmar Martínez Mendoza (accomplice of the Illicit Association); Julio Marcelo Talavera (in whose case the EAAF and various Argentine human rights organizations intervened).

We will pay tribute to Our Comrades and regroup ourselves.

Yesterday, in the National Elections, we received another big blow. The biggest blow; the one that proved that our people forget, forgive, and silence.

Since the night before the day of the election, some of those accused of stealing our archives and of illicit association restarted their defamatory campaigns. As always, we embrace all our brothers and sisters who gave their bodies day by day for Memory, Truth and Justice. Far from being quiet, we went out to repudiate them, and name them again and again. The desperate electoralist strategies of certain sectors appeared not to have limits, until the end of the day.

Horacio Cartes won. He is the new President of Our Country.
Horacio Cartes won. He is the new Civil Genocide of Our People.

As HIJOS, tomorrow we pick up the fight again. We will keep going, laughing and singing. We will keep lifting the banners of our parents and their comrades.

From right here, we say to the Colorado Party that:
YOU HAVE NOT CONQUERED US!
NOT ONE STEP BACK! NOW MORE THAN EVER!!
JUSTICE AND PUNISHMENT FOR THE GENOCIDES, THEIR ACCOMPLICES, BENEFICIARIES AND INSTIGATORS!!!
FOR THE TRUTH OF OUR PEOPLE; STRONISM WAS A GENOCIDE!
MEMORY — TRUTH — JUSTICE — IDENTITY
WE DO NOT FORGET. WE DO NOT FORGIVE. WE WILL NOT RECONCILE.

[signed]

Hijos por la Identidad y la Justicia contra el Olvido y el Silencio (HIJOS), Paraguay.

Translation mine.

So, there you have it. I said as much, this morning, when I described Horacio Cartes as the new boss, same as the old boss (Stroessner). Thanks to the HIJOS of Paraguay, we now also see the connections between big business, USAID, the CIA, and the local bottom-feeders of the old Paraguayan oligarchy. We also see how those local bottom-feeders hamstrung the only decent, elected president Paraguay ever had — Fernando Lugo — and slowed down (but could not stop) the ingress of Venezuela to MERCOSUR.

We also see the connections between all that, and the ugly words of Federico Franco following the death of Chavecito, which the fucking bastard called a “miracle”, and claimed that Bolivarian ideas had no place in Paraguay. Maybe not in the farcical “Paraguay” of Stroessner’s heirs, Franco and the oligarchy, but if the HIJOS are any indicators, Bolivarian ideas and ideals are alive and well among the persecuted common folk. And such ideas and ideals have a funny way of persisting for centuries, becoming stronger over time.

The oligarchy’s days are numbered, and they just don’t realize it yet.

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Posted in Don't Cry For Argentina, Economics for Dummies, El Predicto Speaks..., Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't That Illegal?, Isn't That Racist?, Law-Law Land, Paraguay, Uruguay, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia | 2 Comments

Sham election seeks to legitimize coup in Paraguay

Posted on April 22, 2013 by Sabina Becker

horacio-cartes

Horacio Cartes, presumed winner of the Paraguayan presidential elections. Maybe we should put “presidential elections” in quotation marks, since what happened there isn’t to be confused with any semblance of real democracy. And because it’s actually a distinct case of “meet the new boss, same as the old boss”:

The Paraguayan Tribunal of Electoral Justice (TSJE) informed on Sunday that the right-wing candidate from the Colorado party, Horacio Cartes, had won the presidential elections to succeed Federico Franco, who came to power through a coup d’état against elected president Fernando Lugo.

The electoral organ informed that the right-wing candidate had obtained 45.87% of the vote, while Efraín Alegre of the Liberal Party took 36.9%. Alegre conceded defeat minutes before the announcement.

Cartes brings back the Colorado Party, which left the presidential palace in 2008 after 60 years in power, and which lost that year to the leftist candidate of the Frente Guasú, Fernando Lugo.

[…]

In June of 2012, Paraguay entered a political crisis after its congress decided to remove Lugo from office, following violent incidents during a removal of peasants from the southwestern region of Curuguaty. The decision, which placed Federico Franco in power, was termed an “institutional coup d’état”.

Until now, the Paraguayan government has not been recognized in regional blocs such as UNASUR and MERCOSUR, which is why one of the challenges facing Cartes will be to return his country to institutionality and acceptance in Latin America.

Translation mine.

Yeah, Paraguay, good luck with that. You’re in no better democratic shape than Honduras, which is also only a sham democracy at best following the 2009 coup against Manuel Zelaya. Your last legitimately elected president was this guy:

lugo-socialist

“My government will be socialist, and will defeat poverty in every house.”

And, by strange coincidence, he’s also Paraguay’s first legitimately elected president, too. No doubt with sentiments like that, he was very popular, and that’s why Lugo had to go. Because what he replaced is, essentially, this guy:

stroessner

…whose party ruled Paraguay as a single-party dictatorship for over 60 years. And whose party is now back in power through the sham election of Cartes. This is the old boss. Same as the new boss!

As for Lugo, he was never a boss; he was a president. The only real one Paraguay has had in living memory, and by the looks of things, the only real one they ever will have.

Lo siento mucho, Paraguay. You’re a fascist dictatorship as of June of last year, and, elections or no elections, a fascist dictatorship you will remain, unless Lugo — or somebody — does something about that.

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Posted in Not Hiding in Honduras, Paraguay, Uruguay | 1 Comment

Music for a Sunday: The Ladies from Toronto

Posted on April 21, 2013 by Sabina Becker

My friend, Brenda Lewis, performs a classic favorite (sure to need no introduction if you love bossa nova), with Margaret Stowe on guitar. This was at the Flying Beaver in Toronto.

(And no, sadly, I was not in the audience, as I live too far out of the city. But I’m glad someone else recorded this. Brenda, you’re fabulous!)

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Posted in Bina's Band of Brigands, Music for a Sunday | Comments Off

Compare and Contrast: Spain vs. Venezuela

Posted on April 21, 2013 by Sabina Becker

spain-vs-venezuela

My translation:

More than 400,000 families have been thrown out of their homes in Spain since 2008.

VENEZUELA: Misión Vivienda (Mission Housing) has benefited 223,374 families since 2011.

Didn’t you say that the communists were coming to take away your house?

Actually, Venezuela’s not even communist. It’s Bolivarian. Teh Horrorz!

But yeah…this is exactly the lie the oppos told their supporters from the beginning. And to date, not a single opposition family has been thrown out of their homes. Unless you count the rich bitches who fucked off to Miami in terror…of being made to pay taxes.

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Posted in Compare and Contrast, Economics for Dummies, EuroPeons, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Good to Know, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Socialism is Good for Capitalism!, Under the Name of Spain | Comments Off

Wankers of the Week: The Boston Marabomb

Posted on April 20, 2013 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a special shout-out to the people of Boston, and everyone affected by the marathon bombing. That’s a horror no one should have to live through, ever. You people are all in my thoughts and prayers. These people, on the other hand, are only in my prayers insofar as it’s “Please, Goddess, take them away!” And here they are, in no particular order:

1. Justin Fucking Bieber. Newsflash, J-Bieb, Anne Frank is not all about you. But it’s easy to see how you might think she would have been, seeing as you have all those fake and ghost Twitter followers… PS: Yeah, this’ll really help with that narcissism thing. NOT.

2. George Fucking Will. Conservatism and facts don’t even inhabit the same universe. But hey! Good luck trying to convince the rest of the wankers that it’s time to legalize the undocumented, just the same.

3. John Fucking Baird. If anyone ever deserved to have rocks and shoes thrown at him, it’s Squealer. Of course he thinks he did nothing wrong in meeting Israelis on Palestinian turf. Actually, it’s ALL Palestinian turf, but in his mind (and those of the Israelis, too, no doubt) it’s all Israeli turf, and always was. So yeah, no “shift” there!

4. Nathan Fucking Deal. Nice to know that the Confederacy (of Dunces) is still alive and well in Georgia. And that the squatter in the governor’s mansion still can’t get into the 20th century, much less the 21st. An integrated prom isn’t a “publicity stunt”, it’s something that should have been taken for granted long ago. But then again, this good ol’ redneck probably still flies the Stars ‘n’ Bars from his car antenna.

5. Fucking ExxtortionMobil. Yay for snake oil! See, that Arkansas pipeline disaster was good for something. Too bad it wasn’t at all good for the local birds.

6. Henrique Fucking Capriles Fucking Radonski. Why the double Fucking? Because he’s a double-Majunche. Did you ever see such a sore loser in your life? And the nerve of him, claiming Maduro won by fraud when, if anything, the fraud is more likely to be on his own side. It’s awfully hard to see how a crappy little do-nothing governor, whose state is all gone to shit, and who is known to have made putschist plans (and carried them out throughout the election campaign) could take as much as 49% of the vote without cheating somehow. And, that being said: Don’t be too surprised if this piece of flotsam washes up on shore in Miami before a warrant can be issued for his arrest. PS: And this is why you’re not president. You’re an uncouth fucking Majunche with no manners, who pisses on foreign heads of state. You lost because you’re not wanted at Miraflores, now take a fucking hint!

7. Alex Fucking Jones. The Boston Marathon bombing was a “government conspiracy”!!!1111eleventyhundredeleven! Only it wasn’t. Is that egg starting to feel a little tight on your face there, Alex? Ha, ha.

8. Pamela Fucking Geller. Even without actually knowing who set it, she just “knows” the Boston bomb was a jihadist bomb. Funny how someone who knows fuck-all, always seems to “know” so much. One day, Pam, it’s gonna be not only some white dude, but a white dude who thinks just like YOU. And I can’t wait to hear what you’ll say then.

9. Dave Fucking Agema, AGAIN. Great job of researching your little theories there, Dave! Because Holocaust-denying, sheet-wearing Klukers are just the most reliable sources of information on homosexuality in the whole wide world, eh?

10. Erik Fucking Rush. Dude, “round up all the Saudis and kill them” is NOT a joke. And “but I was just joking” isn’t a very good excuse for tweeting stupid, asinine, genocidal shit. Oh, and calling other people “sphincters” for not “getting” it? Still doesn’t make it a joke, ASSHOLE. Just substitute “blacks” for “Saudis”, “conservatism” for “Islam”, and see how that plays. Not so funny NOW, is it? PS: Sign, sign, sign!

11. Fucking Dubya. How very nice to know, more than ten years and millions of deaths after the fact, that the Idiot Son of an Asshole still feels “comfortable” with his own bad decisions and choices. Unfortunately, his “comfort” won’t give people back their innocent, undeserving dead. And to be honest, I couldn’t give two shits for his “comfort”. He’s a war criminal, and “comfortable”, in any sense, is the LAST thing he should be.

12. Glenn Fucking Beck. Still alive. Still babbling bullshit. Still tick, tick, ticking away like a time-bomb of lunacy. How I wish that cerebral hemorrhage would finally come, this suspense is killing me.

13. Anthony Fucking Bellifemine. Hey look! #10 has a soul brother. Awww, how…FUGLY.

14. Jim Fucking Hoft. Saudi students EVIL! Saudi students SCARY! Saudi student in question happens to be not even a suspect. And his “suspicious behavior” consisted only of doing what every other innocent person injured at the scene of the Boston bombing did: running away from the explosions, or trying to.

15. Dan Fucking Bidondi. Well, let’s give this Alex Jones lackey some credit for just coming straight out and ASKING if the Boston bombing was a “false flag” operation. Short answer: No. Slightly longer answer: No, and you’re a paranoid freak-scene. What the fuck are you doing at a press conference, anyway?

16. Felipe Fucking Calderón. Yes, that’s right, the former president of Mexico. Who knew HE was a conspiracy freak? Tenuous connections and loose coincidences do not an adequate explanation make, señor.

17. Melvin Fucking Harter. Sorry, pal, but if you’re against marriage equality, you ARE a hater. Good thing your advertising firm isn’t the only one in town. And hey! You’ve just managed to generate a shitload of negative publicity…for YOURSELF.

18. Peter Fucking Brabeck. Water is not a human right? Nature has to be “overcome”? Human ingenuity über alles? Sounds like a psychopath to me. Way to prove The Corporation right, Peter. Why are you not in a straitjacket? Why has your company not been broken up as a monopoly yet? Oh, and Nestlé does NOT feed me. I don’t buy any of their products, on principle, and haven’t done so since I first heard of their involvement in the Venezuelan coup of ’02. And all their other corporate crimes, too. Chew on THAT, dude. PS: Sign, sign, sign.

19. Pat Fucking Buchanan. Oh good, so I’m not the only one to notice the irony of an old racist calling for a civil-rights uprising against LGBTs. I hereby call for Puke-Cannon to drop dead.

20. Alan Fucking Jones. Are we caught in a time warp AGAIN? Last time “left-wing radicals” were bombing shit, it was the 1970s. And that stuff was already getting old for the left even then. What will this crazy codger say when it turns out that the bomber was a right-winger, and not a leftist or a Muslim as all the crazy wackaloons of the right have already decided?

21. Esther Irene Fucking Stokes. Well, I never. Racism is now a criminal defence! Only it’s not. It’s quite possible to dislike black people and still sexually abuse a black child. In fact, the two go together rather frequently. The southern history of slavery should bear that out.

22. Steve Fucking Emerson. Yeah, that’s right. Saudi student is just a Saudi student. An INNOCENT Saudi student. Feeling stupid yet? For that matter, have you begun to feel stupid about Oklahoma City yet?

23. Mark Fucking Sanford. Just couldn’t stay away from the ex-wife once you got engaged to the “Appalachian Trail”, eh? If there’s such a thing as an embarrassment addict, this dude is it. Or else he just has no idea how fucking bad he looks on all fronts. Jayzus.

24. Louie Fucking Gohmert. “Radicial Islamists are trained to act Hispanic” — and radical idiots are trained to act Repugnican. Oh wait, that’s not training? He’s just naturally fucking stupid and racist? Gawlee, Gomer. It’s getting so hard to tell. PS: Also, way to explain the APARTHEID wall of shame in Palestine, Gomer. You stupid, stupid fuck.

25. Peter Fucking Hansen. Now that all women know that we’re just “vaginas” to him (and I’m sure he was dying to call us something much worse, which means essentially that), I think we can safely start thinking of him as a dickhead. A teeny, weeny, microscopic MOSQUITO dickhead. PS: Non-apology is non-accepted. Also, PENIS.

26. Tommy Fucking Tucker. No, Senator, you’re not the one dictating public policy. Your constituents are. Your job is to LISTEN. And to take their will to Capitol Hill. Did you flunk civics, and is that a requirement for being a Repug these days?

27. George Fucking Osborne. Why?

That’s why. The weaselly little face says it all. And the misplaced tears, too.

28. David Fucking Norris. Surprise! Holding a knife to a Muslim’s throat and demanding that she take off her headscarf because “this is England”, is assault. And it makes you nothing but a common, racist thug.

29. John Fucking Kerry. Latin America is NOT your backyard. It is a group of sovereign nations, all of whom are your NEIGHBORS, and none of whom appreciate your interference, your snobbishness, or your picking and choosing whom to recognize as “legitimate” and not. Mainly because it’s so blindingly obvious to all of them that you gringos always prefer to “recognize” as “great friends of democracy” the worst and most fascist so-called leaders, while fomenting coups against the best and most popular elected ones. And if you’re going to demand a recount in Venezuela, there’s just one question that really needs to be asked of you: Why the fuck were you not demanding one in Florida, 2000, when a dictator stole that election with the help of his cousin in the media?

30. Stephen Fucking Harper. Justin Trudeau’s comments on the Boston bombing were perfectly appropriate. What is so wrong about examining root causes of terrorism? It’s what any intelligent person ought to do. And really, what is “rationalizing or making excuses” about that, anyway? If anything, it’s better to inquire and learn than to simply lash back with violence in ignorance, as Harpo is inordinately fond of doing…to people like Justin Trudeau. Whom he seems to perceive as a threat, ha ha.

31. Bob Fucking Davis. You, pathetic fucking shock jock, can go to hell. That is all.

32. Horacio Fucking Cartes. You’d shoot yourself in the testicles if your son wanted to marry another man? Please shoot yourself in the testicles, period. It’s not like you fascists should be reproducing anyway.

33. Scott Fucking Lively. For the final time: AIDS is caused by a virus. Meningitis is caused by viruses and several strains of bacteria. Homophobic idiocy, from which YOU suffer, is a curse from God. And it usually afflicts those who have things to hide, and who think God gives a shit who you sleep with.

34. Markwayne Fucking Mullin. You think the ExxtortionMobil pipeline rupture is a GOOD sign? And that they should be patted on the back for the frankly horrible way they handled it? You really need to stop drinking fracking fluid, fuckhead.

35. George Fucking Aulenbacher. WTF kind of person are you for inviting Pam Fucking Stenzel to tell crazy-ass lies about sex and birth control to your students, and for trying to censor a girl who had the courage and good sense to point out that your abstinence-only emperor has no fucking clothes. Who do you think you are, trying to get her un-accepted from a prestigious college where she’s already BEEN accepted, just because you can’t handle the truth? What kind of person does such things? A person of bad character, that’s who.

36. Ted Fucking Cruz. Is anyone else struck by the irony of a man who looks and acts exactly like Tailgunner Joe McCarthy being paranoid as hell about a fictional, confiscatory gun registry? Oh good. Glad I’m not the only one.

37. Glenn Fucking Reynolds. Is anyone else stuck by the irony of a professional bully and feckin’ eejit, who calls himself an “Instapundit”, accusing a woman who nearly died of a gunshot to the head…of BULLYING? Oh good. Glad I’m not the only one.

38. Jim Fucking Karygiannis. Call yourself a Liberal? You’re a fucking corporate tool, a SupposiTory in red. The so-called “Venezuelan Diaspora in Canada” is nothing but a bunch of crybaby escualidos who don’t want to pay taxes on their immense wealth back home. And who can’t handle a real democratic government…which Canada, incidentally, doesn’t have. And speaking of which, why don’t you work on that, back here, instead of meddling in Venezuela? Aren’t you in the Loyal Opposition? Oh yeah, I forgot: Corporate tool, SupposiTory in red. Never mind…

39. Col Fucking Allan. When you make a mistake and publish the wrong “suspect” photos in your newspaper, you apologize and issue a retraction. You do NOT, under any circumstances, dig your heels in deeper and make lame excuses. Unless, of course, you want to be considered a drunken crypto-racist pig-fucker. Ha, ha.

40. Pat Fucking Robertson. He blames the 1980s game of Dungeons and Dragons for “destroying people’s lives”. Meanwhile, not a peep about all the damage done by bible-thumping, as for instance here.

41. Lindsey Fucking Graham. Fortunately, you don’t get to decide who gets read their Miranda rights and who doesn’t. The law does, and it is clear that EVERYONE has the right to remain silent. Which I advise YOU to do, too…as anything you say can and will be used against you to show what a fucking idiot you are.

42. Nate Fucking Bell. Here’s a tip to all you good ol’ boys from Arkansas, who think an AR-15 is the answer to everything: Not in Boston, it ain’t.

43. Ann Fucking Coulter. Why?

That’s why. I can’t wait till someone drives a stake through her, so I can make mean jokes about it. And, unlike hers, mine won’t be lame.

44. Samantha Fucking Brick. No, Joan Collins is NOT right. Being on a constant diet depletes your brain cells. And you’re the living proof of that, since you’re still married to that unattractive slob who thinks he has the right to keep you thin and deluded.

45. Michael Fucking Potter. You don’t know why you’re against contraception? Funny, that’s what your pope says, too.

46. Jeff Fucking Duncan. The day the Drudge Report becomes a “reliable news source” is the day we all find ourselves through the Looking Glass. That ain’t nothin’ but a shitty right-wing gossip blog…and is there really any other kind?

47. Michael Fucking Savage. I’m not even sure why I’m bothering with this asshat. He’s been a one-note wonder for years. Nevertheless, for his part in promoting the bogus theory of the Saudi student, he’s listed.

48. Mike Fucking Duffy. Quel surprise! Puffy hasn’t paid back the taxpayer money he wasted on fraudulent travel claims for his nonexistent residency in Prince Edward Island. Typical Conservative greedhead, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. And by the looks of him, he’s already eaten way too much.

49. Tony Fucking Perkins. Sexual liberalism caused the Boston bombing! Oh lordy, lordy, good Gordie. Actually, one senses that if either of those guys had been getting laid on a regular basis, they’d have had less motivation to try and make their mark in a more destructive way. As would, for that matter, Tony Fucking Perkins.

50. Greg Fucking Ball. Oh look, another Repug who believes torture will work on Suspect #2. Waterboard this motherfucker and see how it “works” on him, I say.

And finally, to all the fucking conspiracy-spinning twoofers out there. Can’t you people wait till you get all the facts, instead of relying on third-rate hearsay and the usual vague theories of a nameless, faceless “global elite” being behind the Boston bombing? Oh wait, that would conflict with your pwecious flibbertigibbertarian ideology. You’d rather think that the government is out to control your feeble minds than bother to change it for the better, and make it more responsible for regulations that would prevent tragedies like this and the one in West, Texas. Well, guess what: You’re in good company. The guys who laid those bombs are apparently not so different from you, or at least their militantly religious families are. And it seems that they, in their own way, are anti-government nutjobs, too. So yeah, chew on that. And if it feels like you’re chewing your own toes, it’s because you fucking ARE.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Festive Left Friday Blogging Too: It’s official now…

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Sabina Becker

Ladies and gentlemen…the president of Venezuela, NICOLAS MADURO:

nicolas-sash

That’s Chavecito’s daughter, María Gabriela, helping National Assembly president Diosdado Cabello put the sash on her dad’s successor. It’s now official, legal, signed, sealed and delivered. And frankly, nobody cares what those bitches at the State Dept. think.

Meanwhile, here’s the most touching photo of the event:

cristina-maria-gabriela

The president of Argentina, Cristina Fernández, gives María Gabriela a hug. Cristina’s had some grief of her own to deal with, what with the sudden death of her husband, former president Néstor Kirchner, last year. So she knows exactly what Chavecito’s family are going through. And it’s a way for her to pay back the comfort and affection Chavecito gave her in her hour of need, too.

This is what love and solidarity look like.

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