News of the Restless

Yes, kiddies, this week is special. In memory of the Montréal Massacre 20 years ago, and its ongoing fallout today, I decided to devote an entire wank-list to those who hate women, and those who enable the woman-haters to injure and kill. It’s not enough to remember one mass murder just because it was so dramatic; it’s also important to remember the sneaks, skanks and skunks who enable all kinds of misogynistic violence, because the Massacre was anything but an isolated event–it was the product of a culture geared toward the degradation of women, and denial of that same. Here they come, in no particular order:

1. Helena Fucking Guergis, again. Not content to make a mockery of the Massacre with her cheap, mealy-mouthed spectacle in Parliament, Helena Handbasket has decided to take it one wank further with a letter to the editors of the Toronto Star, in which she further cheapens and demeans the memories of the dead by using them and other victims of violence for clearly partisan purposes. Gee, Helena, what happened? I thought you were supposed to be above “partisan gamesmanship”. Oh–I get it. You’re above OTHER parties’ supposed partisan gamesmanship. Yours? That’s different. You’re a Conservative, so that doesn’t count!

2. Norman Fucking Spector. No, murderous gynophobic rampages aren’t in the genes. They don’t have fuck-all to do with “race”. Nor are they the product of any single culture, unless you’re talking about patriarchy, which is a cultural element as common as dirt throughout the world.

3. William Fucking Gairdner. Ah yes, the founding father of Reform-a-SupposiTorydom has decided to croak up bilge at us from his bed in the nursing home for the decrepit criminally insane. Why isn’t he dead yet? Probably because he still has too much bile and blame to vomit all over us bad, bad feministas. Of course, you can guess who HE blames for the Montréal Massacre.

4. Hiram Fucking Monserrate. What’s wrong with this unevolved DINO? Oh lord, what isn’t? He’s a homophobe, a proponent of “traditional marriage”. So it comes as an interesting surprise to hear that he beat the shit out of his common-law partner about a year ago–for merely having another man’s business card in her bag (which he was NOT entitled to snoop through, incidentally). What? He’s not traditionally married to the woman he battered? Well, not to worry: He plans to make it all up by marrying her. If I were in her shoes, I’d be running the other way screaming, not begging to be allowed back into his clutches. It’s not a question of whether he’ll abuse her again, but WHEN.

5. The Fucking Blogging Tories. I wonder: would they be so indifferent to the murders of 14 women if those women were the last 14 left on Earth? Oh, probably. Because everyone knows that happiness is a warm gun…snuggled up right next to your big blue balls, eh boys?

6. Margaret Fucking Wente. Excuse me, what is this “death cult” of which you write, Ms. Wente? Do you seriously believe that just because you got yours, there is no misogyny for the rest of us to fight against? Fuck you, Margaret. And fuck your fucking smugness. Fuck your denials. Fuck your Fifties mentality. But most of all, fuck you.

7. The Fucking Perth County Council. No flags at half-mast, because women don’t count for shit in Perth County. Never mind that the excuse is stupid. Never mind that it doesn’t cost more than a minute’s time to lower them. Women aren’t even worth that teeny, tiny token gesture. Isn’t it lovely to know that, O ye women of Perth County?

8. Barbara Fucking Kay. Excuse me, what is this “moral pogrom against men” of which you write, Ms. Kay? And why is it “time to end” that nonexistent pogrom? Kind of strange to declare an end to a nonexistent thing, isn’t it? Why are you so fucking stupid as to think that being pro-woman automatically means being anti-man, Ms. Kay? Janet Bagnall gets it, so why not you? So does this unnamed editorialist for your own news service. So, why not you?

9. Sylvie Fucking Boucher. For not understanding that gun control IS law and order. For enabling killers. And for playing self-serving, partisan politics over the corpses of 14 women. Thanks a lot for the injustice, madame.

10. Kelly Fucking McParland. So, the opposition protest against the Tory wank is a “cheap stunt”. You wanna know what’s really a cheap stunt? Your shots at those who really understand the issues. Figures that you write for the National Fucking Post–that entire paper is one big fat cheap stunt. Can’t wait for it to die, and I hope you for one stay out of work.

11. Dennis Fucking Pakkala. Google his name, and you’ll find all the stupid, wankish comments you could possibly want. And then some. The fucker is all over the place, proving feminists right every time he tries to prove them wrong. I don’t know who he is, but I get the feeling he’s bitter and a misogynist. No wonder he feels such a compulsive need to masturbate in public.

12. Jean-Claude Fucking Rochefort. Uttering death threats via your sick-ass blog dedicated to a murderer, then trying to pass it off as a “joke”? That has got to be the ULTIMATE wankery.

And finally, anyone who thinks that feminism is dead, or that feminists should be. Your karmic destiny? Exactly what you think it should be for us uppity wimmin.

Good night, and get fucked!