News of the Restless

Wankers of the Week: Wankin’ around the Xmas tree

Posted on December 19, 2009 by Sabina Becker

First, a little mood music, to get us in the proper holiday spirit…

(And doesn’t Billy Idol still look great for his age? Well, maybe a little stiff. And cartoony…)

Ah, Yuletide. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, for most of us; for wankers, it’s the most wonderful time of the year…to demonstrate how un-Christian they really are. And we got more of them than Santa has coals in his sack, kiddies. So here we go, with this week’s dimmest-bulbs-on-the-ol’-green-tree:

1. Ray Fucking Comfort. Plagiarizing an evolutionist opponent to “refute” Charles Darwin with fundamentalist hogwash? The mind boggles.

2. Matthew Fucking Spalding. The Nobel Peace Prize is a “title of nobility”? Dude, if you’re gonna style yourself a “constitutional scholar”, the least you could do is learn the difference in spelling (and pronunciation!) between “noble” and “Nobel”. You might also learn how to disentangle a cash award from a title (there is none attached to the million-dollar prize). And above all, when it comes to needing the consent of Congress in order to receive such an award, you might want to ask that other undeserving US Nobel winner, Henry Fucking Kissinger, if he had to go begging Congress for it!

3. The fucking racists of Verona, Italy. I’m not sure what’s so terrible about a non-white Nativity scene (hell, one of the Three Kings in the German ones my parents and grandparents had was always black!), but apparently a whole dang shebang with no white faces threatens some people terribly.

4. John Fucking Bolton. So, humans are “hard-wired for conflict”? Better not read what RickB has posted about the evidence for genetic altruism, then. After all, “Peace on Earth” is such an unnatural notion to Ol’ Milk Mustache Man, who has made quite a lucrative career out of pursuing its polar opposite.

5. Fucking TIME magazine. Ben BernWANKe, Person of the Year. Srsly. I know, you’re thinking “WTF, dude?” But srsly. They’ve picked a lot of wieners over the years, so this is actually par for the course. Doesn’t make them any less wankish at any other time of the year, either, since they consistently get the majority of their foreign news wrong. But since it’s practically an annual tradition for them to make piss-poor choices for their persons-of-the-year, let’s just make it an annual tradition to piss on them here, eh?

6. Joe Fucking Lieberman. Fortunately, Al Franken was on hand, taking time out from his Hanukkah dreidel-spinning to gavel this oh-so-deserving fucker down.

7. John Fucking McCain also gets a dishonorable mention–for blatant hypocrisy. I guess it’s different when it’s a turncoat Arschlecker like Lieberman, eh?

8. Larry Fucking Summers. So, women can’t do math? That’s funny, we’re not the ones who “misplaced” a billion dollars at Hahvud by playing the debt-swapping markets. So glad I never bothered with that Ivy League MBA shit–it clearly stands for “Master of Bugger-All”!

9. Daniel Fucking Petit. Because “patriotism” and “supporting the troops” are clearly synonymous with turning a blind eye to human rights abuses and stonewalling in Parliament.

10. Stephen Fucking Harper. Because the best way to boost Canada’s profile in the world is to turn a blind eye to human rights abuses in Afghanistan AND climate change both, instead of boldly facing them head-on and NOT toadying to the Yanks.

11. In fact, the entire fucking Conservative party are wankers and deserve the following fate:

…and if it reminds you of anything, fellas, take a lesson from the sad fate of your historical antecedents now, and quit the wanking while you still can.

12. Adrian Fucking MacNair. Wanna talk about Canadians who hate Canada, Adrian? Look in the mirror and describe what you see. You must not value our country very much if you vilify a fellow countryman as a commie just for telling the unhappy truth (and doing a better job of it than you with your shit, if truth be told). Our collective dependence on fossil fuel and crapitalism is losing us sovereignty over our own Arctic as the polar ice melts, and melts, and melts. Even your beloved Tories have a problem with this. Yeah, go right ahead and deny global warming, too, but just remember: Capitalism can’t save you from the effects of it–WANKER.

13. James Fucking Inhofe. Another wanker who thinks denial is a river in Egypt. He was too much even for the journo from Germany’s oh-so-crapitalist Der Spiegel to take. Unnamed journo called him “ridiculous”, right in Der Inhofe’s face. Whoever that Krazy Kraut was, he’s my newest hero. Vielen Dank!

14. Alexander Fucking Cockburn. Sorry, dude, but when you drink the conservative Kool-Aid on global warming, you get to stand in the same corner as all the other wankers up there in front of you, and you get to share the same dunce cap. Tell the people of Bolivia they have nothing to worry about when man-made global warming is robbing them of a major source of their water–I’m sure they’ll be happy to hear your “scientific facts”, assuming the
y stop laughing long enough to hear you out. Maybe, if you’re extra-convincing, they might even take you skiing on the Chacaltaya Glacier!

15. Jeff Fucking Valletine. So, Sarah Fucking Palin “is a strong personality who brings out lots of opinions from lots of folks”? That’s a mighty curious thing to say about a batshit-crazy woman who says, in all seriousness, that Canada should “dismantle” its healthcare system and let the profiteers in. And who also claims that our “socialized” single-payer system is mandating “death panels” at hospitals caring for senior citizens…hospitals like the one Jeff Fucking Valletine just happens to be speaking for. The same that dropped her like a hot cowpie, probably for that very reason. And probably also for the salient fact that her $200,000 speaker’s fee would have consumed all the funds (1000 plates @ $200 apiece; do the math!) they were trying to raise for the new equipment they need, which our oh-so-socialist federal (Conservative) and provincial (Liberal) governments aren’t forking out the money for. But yeah, let’s just go with the “strong personality” theory, and assume that Canadians are idiots who can’t do basic math, never learned history, and don’t consider Tommy Douglas the greatest of us all.

16. Laurie Fucking Hawn. For urinating all over the intelligence of the Canadian public. This public understands full well that the federal Conservatives have been covering up evidence of torture in Afghanistan–torture in which our troops have been made complicit by handing over prisoners of war to the local authorities. Perhaps we should hand MP Hawn over too, and see what he says then.

EDIT: Oh shit, it gets worse!

17. Jim Fucking DeMint. File under “not clear on the concept”, the concept in question being “good faith”.

18. Jason Fucking Kenney. Same drawer; concept being what constitutes antisemitism.

19. Barack Fucking Obama. Same drawer also; concept being PEACE. How’s about handing that million-dollar Nobel over to the Taliban, along with all the other cash going along with that 30,000-troop “surge”? You might as well, because that’s where it all ends up.

20. Ben Fucking Nelson. Because the “true meaning of Christmas” is keeping women under the bootheel of the male-dominated state, and the people without single-payer healthcare. For “moral reasons”, natch.

21. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. See above, and add loud barnyard noises. And drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

22. Tom Fucking Coburn. See #20, and add copy of US constitution stained with fecal matter and vomit. Meanwhile, the GOP has just lost one of its own over the very “mission” of which the lunatic speaketh.

23. Chris Fucking Matthews. Because the progressive netroots “get their giggles from sitting in the backseat and bitching.” As opposed to himself, who gets his by sitting in front of a camera and doing the exact same–FOR MONEY. But since he does it on behalf of the establishment, who are staunchly anti-progress, why, that makes it all dignified, decorous and right!

24. Sarah Fucking Palin. Honestly, why anyone still thinks this woman is smart is beyond me. Why not just tattoo a huge red FAIL on her forehead?

25. Christopher Fucking Monckton, a.k.a. the Third Viscount de Bumfucque and Buggery-on-Thames. Nice to know that good old English class snobbery is alive and well, and that there is still some outrage to be mustered at those horrible, gauche Danish police, who beat on the titled and the untitled alike. Now where’s the G and T, His Lordship has the vapors! Pip, pip…

And finally, to Mikey the Moron at 24.129.188.34, for the following lovely (and charitable!) Yuletide sentiment, which I’ve put in my spam filter. See if you can guess why:

Damn right, I work for my money and got an education, I see people in poor hoods with cars better than mine, and $2,000 dollars worth of gold
in and on thier bidy that they paid for with my tax dollars called welfare. I think everyone should pay taxes, even if you earn $1.00 a year. But it goes for all races and la razas

He dropped that on this entry, which, as you can see, has fuck-all to do with black people and Hispanics. I deleted his racist Reaganite rant from there because it’s totally off topic and sounds like it came from some bum strung out on meth, typing from a dumpster behind the 7-11. (Probably did, at that.)

You can e-mail him here, or visit his shitty blog and drop a little mistletoe on his head–tied to a solid gold brick, of course.

Hey Mikey, here are my holiday greetings to you:

The sincerest one, of course, comes from the cat.

Good night, and get fucked.

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Headline Howler: No, they do NOT all look alike…

Posted on December 19, 2009 by Sabina Becker

…even if the AP thinks so:

But hey! They’re both black, and they’re both in showbiz one way or the other, so Will Smith and Barack Obama are interchangeable, right???

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Festive Left Friday Blogging: Heating up Copenhagen

Posted on December 18, 2009 by Sabina Becker

Denmark has come down in the world a bit since it stood up to protect the Jews during Nazi times. Now it’s become more than a little Nazified itself, thanks to its happy joining in the War on Terra (and the eager crapagandistic participation of the Jyllands–Posten, that bastion of hateful, unmitigated bullshit.)

But it’s not totally hopeless. There was a summit on climate change there recently, well attended by activists (including the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, no less). There was also a cool prank by the Yes Men. Those were the good bits.

And the bad? Well, the peaceful protests turned into riots at the predictable moment the stormtroopers showed up to bust heads. The violence was on the part of the cops, not the activists, and CBC had the decency to report it as such. (Anarkismo also has some good analysis.) Still, that part sucked. Most of the world leaders who showed up (late!) and then did nothing also sucked.

The only ones I can think of who didn’t are these two, because they stood with the protesters rather than toadying to the usual suspects:

Look at the faces of the journos. They know they caught the good guys. Evo and Chavecito are the ones that matter; they’re the ones determined to set an example. Anyone lucky enough to be in the same airspace as these two, caught the hot ones and heard words worth publishing.

The rest, poor sods, just heard a lot of hot air.

UPDATE, 3:20 pm: Chavecito got doubleplusbadass with the organizers, telling them to throw tear gas if they wanted, he and Evo are giving their press conference–unplugged, if necessary. That’s right–pay ’em back for that cheap 45-minute stunt they pulled at the airport the other day, guys!

Doubleplusgood: Evo got applause from Danish social movements. That’s one thing NOT rotten in Denmark right now…

UPDATE #2: 4:48 pm: Chavecito’s blockbuster speech translated, here.

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Posted in All About Evo, Festive Left Friday Blogging, Huguito Chavecito | 4 Comments

Short ‘n’ Stubby: Backwards ‘n’ forwards…

Posted on December 17, 2009 by Sabina Becker

Venezuela looks back 10 years to the Vargas tragedy, when heavy rains led to mudslides that killed tens of thousands in the coastal region. Video here, in Spanish, tells how the locals recovered and rebuilt the stricken zone with the help of the government. The results (very pretty) speak for themselves.

Moving forward: Brazil has voted to let Venezuela into Mercosur. Paraguay’s right-wing dominated senate is still holding out. That makes them the backward ones. Argentina and Uruguay, meanwhile, have already moved forward.

Another funny little Venezuelan video looks back at recent comings and goings (mostly goings) of the busy, busy travellers of the local opposition. It also asks the musical question: Are they doing all this flying because they’re in cahoots with foreign interests, or could it just be because no one at home likes them?

Looking forward: Canadian Xmas cards haz Teh Ghey! Looking backward: Lots of idiots out there haz Teh Phobia. Guess two cute guys (one of them a Member of Parliament) and their dawg are somehow a threat to a lot of loons…

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Helicopter Canada: a centennial documentary

Posted on December 17, 2009 by Sabina Becker

A little treat from our commie-pinko National Film Board for all you documentary buffs out there:

“Helicopter Canada”, by Eugene Boyko, 1966. Made just in time to celebrate Canada’s 100th birthday the following year. Hands-down one of the most charming documentaries you’ll ever see; shows my home and native land from coast to coast to coast. And barely dated, to boot.

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Posted in Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff, Canadian Counterpunch, Environmentally Ill, Socialism is Good for Capitalism! | Comments Off

Honduran dictator says he won’t leave no matter what the world thinks

Posted on December 17, 2009 by Sabina Becker

“Nobody can be above the law. Repeat: Above MY law.”

Sorry I couldn’t come up with a more clever headline than that, but just so’s you all know, Gorilletti is still in power and means to stay even though the world has told him he’s not welcome. Maybe he’ll even usurp the power of the man allegedly elected to replace him (or legitimize his fake presidency); one never knows, based on what he says:

The de facto ruler of Honduras, Roberto Micheletti, once more defied the international community on Tuesday, saying that “even if the world wants it”, he would not leave power, much less allow the legitimate president of the country, Manuel Zelaya, return to power.
“Even if the world were to ask me, even if those countries which have been intransigent view us with hatred, without justification, even then, I wouldn’t do it,” exclaimed the leader installed after the military coup of last June 28.
Micheletti asked: “And what do a few days matter when we have practically six months under our belt? What does it matter for the international community if I stay one or two days more before January 27?”–the day on which Zelaya’s rule constitutionally ends.
“I don’t see what could be the issue for any country in the world that I go one day, two days, seven days or 11 days before” January 27, “because what difference does it make?” he added.
Micheletti said he would not step down until the end of the period “allowed to me constitutionally”, and assured that Zelaya is no longer president of Honduras, but “a common citizen”.

Translation mine.

Gorilletti, of course, is talking out of his ass on every word. That’s nothing new. Here’s what the real, and still legitimate president of Honduras–Mel Zelaya, that is–says:

Dictator Roberto Micheletti, who still heads the de facto government in Honduras, defied the world in imposing a “democratic transition” despite having no moral or juridical authority to do so, says the legitimate president, Manuel Zelaya.
“It’s absurd, after all the global rejection this coup d’état has faced, that now the author of the same imposes an illegal ‘transition’,” said Zelaya in a communiqué from the Brazilian embassy, where he remains, surrounded and assailed by putschist forces, as of September 21.
Zelaya, removed from office by the military on June 28, called Micheletti’s attitude “a juridical aberration and an antidemocratic practice, which incriminates the presidents of Central America in inviting them to participate in this disgrace,” a reference to the government’s planned change-over on January 27 of the coming year.
[…]
Zelaya’s ouster, approved by parliament on June 28 after his forcible expulsion from the country by the military, and the ratification of that decision on December 2, are “unconstitutional acts, illegal, in violation of the Tegucigalpa-San José accord, which the national congress resolved was in accordance with the law”, he said.
Zelaya also says that he is in communication with the presidents of the continent, and the OAS, “to see to it that these crimes do not go unpunished, and that the material and intellectual authors of these violations of human rights and crimes against the Honduran people are sanctioned.”

Again, translation mine.

Whose word do you trust? When in doubt, go with the man who was actually elected, and who did not commit crimes against humanity in order to impose his régime and make it stick. In other words, NOT Gorilletti.

Who, incidentally, remains illegitimate, and who passes his illegtimacy on to the puppet designated to succeed him on January 27. That is, if he doesn’t end up snatching power from HIM, too.

One never knows, with Gorilletti…

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Short ‘n’ Stubby: Booby prize edition

Posted on December 16, 2009 by Sabina Becker

And today’s prize boobies are…

Matthew Yglesias of Think Progress, for getting Honduras and Ecuador mixed up. Just because they both grow bananas for the Yew Ess of Ay, is no reason for a so-called foreign policy expert to flunk geography. Or to misspell “daft”, come to that, because a coup in Honduras IS a big deal to Hondurans and their friends abroad, and to handle it (or mishandle it) as Obama & Co. did, is daft as a Bush. At this rate, Think Progress will be called Stink Progress.

Rory Carroll, for also having Teh Stoopid about the Honduran coup. Well, at least he named the country correctly…

Olay and Virgin Media, in Britain, for badvertising.

The UN’s so-called human-rights “experts”, for not understanding the unsubtle differences between political prisoners, common crooks and corrupt judges. (The freed criminal was a bankster, and guess who paid the judge to let him go.)

The Miami Hairball, which is now asking its online readers to cough up cash to read its trash. Shouldn’t they first produce something accurate, informative–in other words, worth reading?

The Beeb, for providing a platform for murderous homophobes.

Congrats, guys, here’s your trophy…

…because you SUCK.

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How Venezuela sees Obama, part II

Posted on December 16, 2009 by Sabina Becker

No word from Aporrea on where this mural was painted, but apparently it’s also from downtown Caracas. Like I said earlier, gotta work on that image…

And if you can’t spot the reason the Venezuelans are so unimpressed, let Aunt Bina help you. Holiday jeers to the Wall St. Urinal for that blatantly racist bullcrap about the “Venezuelan military-industrial complex”. What’s one crappy Kalashnikov factory when you’re sitting in the country whose own arsenal is bigger than that of the next dozen countries combined? And who you tryin’ to kid with this “dangerous for Asia” shit? Your country is not just the biggest global menace there is, it’s the ONLY one. And it’s doing nothing to improve that image. Especially in Afghanistan–which, last time I looked, was a pretty sizable chunk of Asia.

Funny how the man just picked up that Nobel and still doesn’t know what the hell to do now that he’s got it…

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Posted in Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind, Crapagandarati, Huguito Chavecito, Obamarama! | Comments Off

Oh crap, the world DIDN’T end, after all.

Posted on December 15, 2009 by Sabina Becker

Dang, dang, walla walla bing bang.

Another Great Disappointment! I have a feeling 2012 will be no better when it comes…

PS: What ass-ugly sites all these rapturists have. Guess they think it won’t matter because they’re not long for this world anyway. No wonder Jesus isn’t rapturing them–he’s afraid they’ll redecorate Heaven, and badly.

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Posted in Isn't It Ironic?, Pissing Jesus Off | 9 Comments

Sexual harassment is a constant problem, say Arab women

Posted on December 15, 2009 by Sabina Becker

This Al-Jazeera report is two years old. So what’s changed in the meantime? Apparently, nothing:

Activists from 17 countries across the region met in Cairo for a two-day conference ending Monday and concluded that harassment was unchecked across the region because laws don’t punish it, women don’t report it and the authorities ignore it.
The harassment, including groping and verbal abuse, is a daily experience women in the region face and makes them wary of going into public spaces, whether it’s the streets or jobs, the participants said. It happens regardless of what women are wearing.
With more and more women in schools, the workplace and politics, roles have changed but often traditional attitudes have not. Experts said in some places, like Egypt, harassment appears sometimes to be out of vengeance, from men blaming women for denied work opportunities.

Men blaming women? That sounds awfully familiar. We already know what extreme behaviors that can lead to.

But even in its less extreme forms, sexism is a constant, life-ruining problem–and for the very women who cover themselves up the most, at that:

Amal Madbouli, who wears the conservative face veil or niqab, told The Associated Press that despite her dress, she is harassed and described how a man came after her in the streets of her neighborhood.
“He hissed at me and kept asking me if I wanted to go with him to a quieter area, and to give him my phone number,” said Madbouli, a mother of two. “This is a national security issue. I am a mother, and I want to be reassured when my daughters go out on the streets.”

So much for the assertion that hijabs protect the virtue of a modest woman. I’ve long known (from experience, yet) that the worst threat to a woman’s safety isn’t immodesty on her part, but harassment on the part of a man who thinks he’s entitled to whatever he can grab. And that sense of entitlement runs deep and wide in the very countries where women are the most covered-up. Covering isn’t protecting them; if anything, it’s like a beacon proclaiming to harassers who feel that women have no place in public life: Hey! There’s a woman here!

How bad is the problem? Here are some stats:

As many as 90 percent of Yemeni women say they have been harassed, while in Egypt, out of a sample of 1,000, 83 percent reported being verbally or physically abused.
A study in Lebanon reported that more than 30 percent of women said they had been harassed there.

Notice that the stricter cultures have higher rates of reported harassment than those where veiling is less common. Not quite what you might expect if you think modesty is the Great Defender, eh?

Rape and other overtly lewd acts are criminalized, but that doesn’t mean much when it comes to “lesser” harassments. And often, culture facilitates things for the harasser, while placing burden after burden on the woman:

Abul Komsan described how one of the victims of harassment she interviewed told her she had taken on the full-face veil to stave off the hassle.
“She told me ‘I have put on the niqab. By God, what more can I do so they leave me alone,'” she said, quoting the woman. Some even said they were reconsidering going to work or school because of the constant harassment in the streets and on public transpiration.
Where segregation between the sexes is the norm and women are sheltered by religious or tribal customs, cases of sexual harassment are still common at homes and in the times when women must venture out, whether to markets, hospitals or government offices.
In Yemen, where nearly all women are covered from head to toe, activist Amal Basha said 90 percent of women in a published study reported harassment, specifically pinching.
“The religious leaders are always blaming the women, making them live in a constant state of fear because out there, someone is following them,” she said.
If a harassment case is reported in Yemen, Basha added, traditional leaders interfere to cover it up, remove the evidence or terrorize the victim.
In Saudi Arabia, another country where women cover themselves completely and are nearly totally segregated from men in public life, women report harassment as well, according to Saudi activist Majid al-Eissa.
His organization, the National Family Safety Program, has been helping draft a law criminalizing violence against women in the conservative kingdom, where flirting can often cross the line into outright assault. Discussion of the law begins Tuesday.
“It will take time especially in this part of the world to absorb the gender mixture and the role each gender can play in society,” he said. “We are coping with changes (of modern life), except in our minds.”

And that’s precisely where the change needs to happen. In the minds of the men. It had to happen here, and it’s still very much a work in progress, as my most recent “Wankers” list confirms. Progressives combat the problem; conservatives protect and entrench it. The obvious answer, then, is not more conservatism in dress or actions; it’s progress and social change. And the men are the ones who need to change the most.

Meanwhile, women’s self-defence classes (I suggest Wen-Do) are a must. Men tend to think twice about doing it again if a woman lashes back. That alone is a good start to the mind-changing thing. If martial-arts classes for women were offered in Arab countries, I bet they’d be very well attended.

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