How Venezuela sees Obama

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This mural, on Bolívar Avenue in downtown Caracas, says it all: Obama is a toy of the imperialists, “totally manipulable”.

Better work on that image, Barack…and no, a PR campaign won’t cut it. These people aren’t stupid!

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Posted in Huguito Chavecito, Obamarama! | 5 Comments

Berlin Wall/German reunification: Still believe in the myth of the “freedom-hating” communist East?

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Prepare for another big shocker, then. This landed in my mailbox yesterday:

Washington, D.C., November 8, 2009 – Just before the fall of the Berlin Wall 20 years ago, even the hardline Czechoslovak Communist leaders called for the opening of the German border, according to documents from high-level archives in Berlin, Bonn and Prague published for the first time in English and posted on the Web today by the National Security Archive at George Washington University.

Czech police try to stop wall jumpers

Compiled and edited by Czech historian Vilem Precan and translated by Todd Hammond, the documents show that waves of East German refugees fleeing to the West through Czechoslovakia (more than 62,000 just in the period from November 4 to 10, 1989) so alarmed the Czechoslovak Communist authorities – who previously had resisted the reforms under way in Poland, Hungary and in Moscow – that they asked the East German leadership on November 8 to allow its citizens to go directly to West Germany, in effect to open the border.

The documents posted today include the secret diplomatic exchanges between the West German foreign ministry and its embassy in Prague where thousands of refugees took shelter, between East German diplomats in Prague and their bosses in East Berlin, between Czechoslovak diplomats and Party officials and their counterparts, and eyewitness accounts by dissident Charter 77 spokespeople about the refugee crisis.

The posting also includes contemporaneous photographs of the scene at the West German embassy in Prague, Czech police attempting to prevent refugees from scaling the embassy walls, the tent city that arose in its courtyard, and rows of abandoned Trabant cars in the streets of Prague.

The detailed essay by Vilem Precan, “Through Prague to Freedom,” that accompanies the documents cites the Czechoslovak government’s demarche to East Berlin on November 8 as “a kind of ultimatum” that forced the East German Communists into a rapid “modification of rules for permanent exit” – a reform famously announced and flubbed by an East German Politburo member at a press conference on November 9. The statements by Gunter Schabowski led Western TV reporters to declare the Berlin Wall open when it was not, but the televised news brought crowds of East Germans to the checkpoints in East Berlin that evening who eventually forced their way through and made the media reports ultimately accurate.

I’ve never been to Prague. My mother and grandmother passed through it once, though–on their way out of northern Yugoslavia in 1944, as displaced persons, fleeing the Russian invasion. Their memories of that great artists’ city were anything but golden; the Czech authorities robbed them blind. They literally came out of there with nothing but the clothes they wore. Ordinary locals weren’t terribly friendly to the German-speaking refugees passing through, either, even though these ethnic Germans had nothing to do with what those other Germans were doing to Eastern Europe. If they didn’t know a word of Czech, how could they explain that their family had lived in Yugoslavia for some 200 years? Well, they couldn’t–and no one was listening anyway. All too soon, the mistrust became mutual. My mom says a lot of women from the DP camps were raped by “partisans”. Even little girls, which my mom and aunt were at the time, were not safe. The Batschka-German refugees huddled in fear, and were only too glad to leave as soon as the opportunity presented itself, if not sooner. From Prague they went on through Silesia; my mom’s family ended up in the countryside in Bavaria. None of them ever went back to Prague again, not even to visit–not even when it became fashionable for Germans to do so again.

So it comes as some surprise to learn that the Czechs–and their hardline communist leaders, at that–later became allies, however inadvertent, to Eastern Germans wanting to go west. It’s one more irony for wingnuts to break their teeth on–and one more proof that the West, not the East, stood to profit more from the continuance of the Iron Curtain and the Wall. It’s also the ideal bookend to my post from the other day. There’s a real wealth of surprising information there, folks, so here’s that link again. Go read!

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Posted in Confessions of a Bad German, Crapagandarati, Czech This Out, Isn't It Ironic?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Newspeak is Nospeak, Who Forgot Poland? | 5 Comments

Stupid Sex Tricks: Why I’m glad my parents are computer illiterate

Even gladder that they don’t know what Facebook is:

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And gladdest of all that they’ve never heard the term MILF.

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Posted in Stupid Sex Tricks | 5 Comments

Music for a Sunday: Lunatics Anonymous, that’s where I belong

A two-fer hit from a great old Canadian arena-rock band. Listen closely and you’ll hear how to really pronounce “Toronto”.

And just to mash things up a bit, here’s another great song from another great Toronto (pronounce it correctly, now!) band with a similar name, but a rather different style:

Yep, that’s rockabilly. When’s the last time you heard anything half so cool on your radio?

And could the lack of music like this be the reason radio is suffering lately?

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Posted in Music for a Sunday | 2 Comments

Wankers of the Week: They wank among us edition

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Halloween was over a week ago…or was it? These wankers gross the bejesus out of me even now…

1. Virgil Bradley Fucking Tetherow. No, I’m not going to call him “Reverend”, much less “Father Gabriel”, even if everyone else does. Men who get in people’s faces about abortion are obnoxious and hateful enough. But men who dress up as priests while hiding a huge hard-on for kiddie porn under their vestments? Sounds to me like the anti-choice harassment is just their way of ensuring a steady supply of future victims.

2. Dick Fucking Cheney. Last week it was “Don’t dither”, this week it’s “don’t recall”. Sounds to me like the Big Dick should be under psychiatric evaluation, since 72 separate incidents of inability to remember, under FBI questioning, surely must constitute some kind of diagnosable dementia. Which in turn makes me wonder: How in hell was this man ever cleared to take public office in the first place? As I recall, there are stringent health requirements.

3. Stephen Fucking Harper. Treading shamelessly on the toes of Prince Charles? Stay classy, Harpo.

4. Dani Fucking Ayalon. Always with the “Venezuela harbors Iranian terrorists” line. Doesn’t that schtick ever get tired? I get so sick of hearing it trotted out every fucking day. The relationship with Iran is strictly business, and also may have something to do with both countries being non-aligned (which is rather more than one can say for Israel.)

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5. Doug Fucking Hoffman. When you call Glenn Fucking Beck your “mentor”, you’re a surefire winner, right? Wrong. Haha!

6. Carrie Fucking Prejean, again. This time, she’s literally a wanker…caught on tape, no less. More proof, in case you needed it, that beauty pageants are not and never were about being a true role model. Don’t they vet their contestants any better than that?

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7. John Fucking Varley. Excuse me, what was it again that Jesus said about rich men, camels and eyes of needles? I guess someone forgot that part of his catechism.

8. The entire fucking board of Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto. They got the flu shot early. Meanwhile, those who should have been getting it, like this boy, are getting the virus instead–and some are getting awfully dead. Meanwhile, everyone else is getting awfully nervous. I wonder what hospital boards do anyway that’s so all-fired important as to justify this kind of queue-jumping. My suspicion is NOT BLOODY MUCH!

9. This fucking wanker here who thinks he knows the “truth” about the flu shot. Um no, he doesn’t–he is not a doctor. He has no knowledge of epidemiology or microbiology. And using the flu death of a child to push crackpot anti-vaccination theories is as wankish as it gets!

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10. and 11. The Fucking Medcan Clinic and Queen’s Fucking Park. Excuse me, but Ontario is a single-payer healthcare province. Queue-jumping for a tidy profit is killing people. (Of course, Medcan’s CEO is a Tory fundraiser. Figures.) Do we really need a flu epidemic to drive home the fact that executive-perk medicine is dead wrong? Come on, McGuinty Liberals, crack down on these fuckers already–or be accused of complicity.

12. George Fucking Hutchins. GOP racist extraordinaire and ugly-ass-website king, no doubt about it. Hot quote: “America is a Great Nation, due to our Diversity; but ONLY WHEN, This Diversity is VOLUNTARY.” Also: “To DEFEAT OBAMA-NATION, we must take a close look at all of the “Social Engineering” contained in the so called 1964 Civil Rights Act, and remove this “Social Engineering” contained in the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act.”

By “Social Engineering”, he means EQUAL RIGHTS FOR BLACKS AND WHITES. That means he is a FUCKING RACIST IN ALL CAPS, DUH. (I have no idea what he means by “VOLUNTARY Diversity”, but I have a hunch it’s along similar lines.)

Oh yeah, and scroll waaayyyyy down past all the multicolored mispunctuated ungrammatical large-font whorish hideosity, and you’ll see this:

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Just in case you needed further confirmation on the whole racist thing. (You’re welcome. Now if you’ll pardon me, I need to go rinse my eyeballs with sterile saline solution. Teh Racist Stoopid, it BURNS.)

13. Simon Fucking Romero. Honestly, this one deserves a lifetime membership on the Wankers list. He can’t even “report” two freaking paragraphs on swine flu deaths among the natives in the Venezuelan state of Amazonas without blaming it on Big Red You Know Who…and his expulsion of a cult backed by the CIA. (PS: Excellent satire here.)

14. Every fucking wanker who laughed at Dr. Carolyn Bennett, MP, here:

Given that Dr. Bennett was a full-time practicing physician before entering politics, I think it only fair that her concerns about the flu pandemic–stemming from a working knowledge and prior direct experience of the subject at hand–be addressed with something other than Tory derision. Don’t you?

(Yes, I realize this happened last week. But it only came to my attention now. I don’t believe it’s ever too late to address a wanker’s blatantly cavalier attitude, especially not if the wanker–or jerk-circle of wankers–is a repeat offender. And I want to make sure it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle, especially not when the wankers want to try for a majority government. It’s this contempt for the public’s well-being that should be remembered come voting time. So sue me.)

15. Andrew Fucking Coyne. H1N1 a “non-crisis”? Tell it to the parents of the “freakishly unlucky” (and previously healthy) boy who died of it. For that matter, tell it the president of Ecuador, who lost his (previously very healthy!) security chief–a “non-priority” group member–to the disease. For anyone to claim that a contagious disease which can kill the healthy within two days is a “non-crisis” is a distinct display of non-intelligence.

And no, Andrew, I don’t believe your case of foot-in-mouth was “freakishly unlucky”, because you had time to sit down and think about every word before you wrote it.

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And that’s it for this week’s wankapedia. I only wish it were shorter. As with all things wankish, that’s because to see even a little of it is to see too fucking much.

Good night, Mrs. Calabash, and I hope you get your flu shot soon.

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Stupid Sex Tricks: Could this be why they’re going extinct?

This kakapo, an endangered species of flightless parrot, gives us a clue as to why there are so few of his kind left: They’re damned annoying!

Somebody, please, find him a lady kakapo before nature journalists also become an endangered species!

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Posted in Oceania, Stupid Sex Tricks | 2 Comments

Berlin Wall/German reunification: Still believe in the myth of the “freedom-loving” capitalist west?

A short history of the Berlin Wall. The very fitting song is “Wind of Change”, by the Scorpions–a German band. Who the hell needs those fucking U2 poseurs and their new, CAPITALIST wall of shame?

Sometimes, it pays to be on the Internets bright and early of a Saturday. Look what just landed in my mailbox, from the National Security Archive in Washington:

Washington, DC, November 7, 2009 – The fall of the Berlin Wall 20 years ago generated major anxiety in capitals from Warsaw to Washington, to the point of outright opposition to the possibility of German unification, according to documents from Soviet, American and European secret files posted on the Web today by the National Security Archive.

Solidarity hero Lech Walesa told West German chancellor Helmut Kohl on the very day the Wall would fall that “events in the GDR [East Germany] are developing too quickly” and “at the wrong time,” that the Wall could fall in a week or two (it would be a matter of hours) and then Kohl and the West would shift all their attention and aid to the GDR, leaving poor Poland “in the background.” And indeed, Kohl cut short his visit to Warsaw and flew back to Germany as soon as the news arrived of the breach of the Wall.

British prime minister Margaret Thatcher earlier had told Soviet general secretary Mikhail Gorbachev that “Britain and Western Europe are not interested in the unification of Germany. The words written in the NATO communique may sound different, but disregard them.” Top Gorbachev aide Anatoly Chernyaev concluded that Thatcher wanted to prevent unification “with our hands” and not her own.

Gee, what a surprise. All these “freedom-lovers”, from Lech Walesa to dear old Maggie, were really opposed to reunification, because it interfered with their own glorification. Color me so shocked!

Well, not quite. Being German myself, I know full well that the German people–MY people–always wanted reunification, ALWAYS opposed the building of the Wall, and that on both sides of the divide, they were chomping at the bit to get the damn thing down again. The wall was the work of politicians, not the people. The people, regardless of ideology, did not EVER want it. It literally pulled families and friends apart; it was not merely political, but deeply personal for an untold number of Germans. It was a trauma that stayed with many of them for decades, and even now, the psychic wounds it left still run deep. There is even a saying that describes that trauma, in German: Die Mauer im Kopf–the wall in the head.

This confirms what I’ve always felt in my gut to be true–that when reunification happened, as it inevitably would, it would not be the work of any leader, communist or capitalist–it would be the doing of the German people. (Duh–who do you think was chipping at that wall the entire time?)

On a related note, I was watching a documentary last night on Vision TV about a group of Germans–let’s not draw any artificial lines between West and East, because THEY didn’t–who undermined the whole thing by laboriously hand-digging a tunnel from West Berlin into the East Zone, less than a year after the Wall went up. It started out as the work of a handful of people, then grew to more than forty diggers as word of mouth spread clandestinely through West Berlin that a tunnel was being dug. Many of the newcomers did not know the original diggers personally; they had simply heard a rumor and had to find out, first, if it were true; then, what they could do to help the project, and finally, get their families across too. The project was the subject of an NBC documentary that later won several awards; the crew was able to film the tunnel construction in progress, thanks to some wheeling and dealing and a $50,000 cheque. (Incidentally, the West Berlin CIA station soon learned of the project, too–but did nothing to help it in any way, although they surely must have had some construction experts on hand somewhere. All they did was spy, spook and sit on what they knew. Yeah, talk to me some more about how THEY were defending freedom from the big red menace of communism…)

One of the stories really caught at my heartstrings. A man from the east had managed to duck through the wires of the fence that preceded the wall, but his pregnant wife and small daughter had to stay behind, because the soldiers patrolling the fence had just shot another runner dead. This man was one of those who later joined in the digging; he actually dared to face arrest for trespassing when he found the place where the tunnel began and nosed around trying to see if it was real. The diggers feared the worst; they thought he was a spy. But when it became clear that he only wanted to reunite with his family, the West Berlin police let him go, and the diggers, after a long argument, were persuaded to let him help with the tunneling. In the meantime, his wife gave birth; their son was four months old before they were finally able to crawl through that filthy, waterlogged tunnel to the west with a group of others. The NBC cameras caught one muddy, matted-haired figure after another, emerging from the dark and climbing the ladder to safety and hugging their loved ones. The women’s clothes and high-heeled shoes were ruined; their stockings were shredded at the knees. The babies were crying.

What this story made clear to me was that the wall, right from the start, was a terrible mistake–and that a small but determined group of people were able to undermine it even before it was fully built. For many months they sacrificed time, energy, money and so much more to build their tunnel, reconnecting what a wall had divided.

Another thing that I realized–but only now, as I sat here writing this–was how nobody in the documentary talked about which was better, communism or capitalism. Stands to reason–none of them cared! All they wanted was to be together with their families, to live and work in peace, without political police of any stripe breathing down their necks. Freedom, for them, was independent of theoretical ideologies; what mattered was that they were the masters of their own lives. One could truly say that these were the first Germans to punch a hole in the wall, more than 25 years before it finally fell.

This is why it’s so instructive to unpick the hypocrisy of the “pro-freedom” leaders who claimed credit, quite undeservedly, for the fall of the Wall. If the Western leaders had wanted to, they could have demolished that wall, sabotaged its building, dynamited it repeatedly. They did nothing! And for a very good reason: The Wall was worth more to Reagan, Thatcher, Walesa, etc. when it stood than when it fell. They didn’t stay away from it because demolishing it would have unleashed World War III; that’s just a convenient excuse. It would have done no such thing. No, the Wall gave them something to point to, something that would silence their own critics–especially those of the repressive Reagan and Thatcher administrations. It was something that they could point to and say, “Don’t call US oppressive–THOSE people are worse!” In its way, the Wall served the capitalists; it granted them bragging rights. It also gave them a convenient smokescreen on which to project their false visions of freedom.

But with the Wall gone, so too was capitalism’s last bulwark, although nobody seems to have thought of that at the time. We were being carefully (and falsely) instructed to see it as capitalism’s hour of triumph. While the media hype focused on how the poor oppressed East Germans could finally buy whatever co
nsumer goods they wanted, the uncomfortable truth has emerged only slowly over the years that they lacked the means–that capitalism costs too much. The physical wall is gone, but there is still an economic wall around the east-zone of Germany; the place is economically retarded. And no, communism can’t take all the blame for this one. If capitalists really cared, if they were as industrious and hard-working as they claim to be, and if their ideology was worth all the trees killed to print it, the deficit could have been made good within a decade. That hasn’t happened. The trickle-down economics so touted by Reagan/Bush and Thatcher have failed to bring about the “rising tide that lifts all boats”. The little boats of Eastern Europe still sit, slowly rotting, on mud that will not float them anywhere.

And yes, die Mauer is still very much im Kopf.

So the next time you hear some wingnut blatting on about how Ronald Reagan was a saint, how he brought down the wall, just keep this in mind. The real freedom-seekers of Berlin weren’t out in front of the wall with megaphones; they were digging quietly underneath it, sometimes with their own bare hands. They served no ideology, because no ideology served them. They did not wait for capitalism to save them. They put in the sweat equity all on their own, with no expectation of any gain except a little freedom and unity. (A quarter-century later, again, it was ordinary Germans who did the hard work in bringing the Wall down.) The media, the CIA, the western governments, all merely stood by and watched–and, hypocritically, applauded. Later, they turned this humble independent effort into self-serving propaganda. They basically left the refugees to risk their lives and muddle through–literally–on their own.

A fine lot of freedom-defenders they turned out to be!

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Posted in Confessions of a Bad German, Do As I Say..., Isn't It Ironic?, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Socialism is Good for Capitalism!, Teh Russkies, The "Well, DUH!" Files, Who Forgot Poland? | 2 Comments

Lugo: Not stupid. Dissociated Press: VERY.

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Lugo with one of the Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo. It’s his habit of standing with the victims, not the perpetrators, of fascism that’s gaining this peace-loving padre so much bad press…

Remember how, a little over a year ago, I blogged that the (then newly inaugurated) president of Paraguay was exercising prudence against the possibility of a military coup? Well, he’s taken things up a notch:

Paraguay’s new army, navy and air force chiefs were sworn in Thursday, a day after President Fernando Lugo fired top commanders amid a swirl of rumors about possibilities of a military coup.

Lugo made no public comments about his military shake-up, but opponents said the timing of the moves–a day after Lugo denied rumors of a military plot to unseat him–was disrespectful to the military and could even be part of a plot to seize more power.

“These fired chiefs will now be seen as coup-plotters in the eyes of the public,” complained retired Gen. Mario Soto, who commanded the military for Lugo’s predecessor Nicanor Duarte.

Earlier in the week, Lugo responded to a reporter’s question by denying he faces any risk of a military coup, though he said there could be small groups in the military that are linked with politicians or that could be used for political purposes.

Colorado Party politicians, who still dominate Congress despite losing the presidency to Lugo for first time in 61 years, suggested without offering evidence that Hugo Chavez of Venezuela could be guiding Lugo’s hand.

“Lugo is pushing a Chavista plan that consists of creating chaos in the country, ordering a state of emergency and assuming all the powers,” suggested Sen. Juan Carlos Galaverna.

Opponents of Honduran President Manuel Zelaya made similar allegations before his country’s military shot up his house and sent him into exile in June, prompting a still-unresolved constitutional standoff.

Me oh my. Don’t those generals come off all whiny and babyish? Why should they care how the public sees them, unless there might actually be some validity to the image? Paraguay’s military still has a strong fascist element. It also has a penchant for collaborating with the gringos, as I noted in earlier entries, and it would be foolish to deny it–especially in the boneheaded way the author of this piece–taken from a Taiwanese news site, of all places–puts it:

But Paraguay’s military is hardly the powerful force it was under Gen. Alfredo Stroessner’s long dictatorship, which ended in 1989.

Retired Gen. Luis Benitez told The Associated Press recently that the air force is now just a symbolic force, with no functioning war planes, and that the other armed forces also lack fighting power.

The armed forces’ budget has steadily shrunk in recent years, and its arsenal is now largely obsolete. The 1992 constitution declared that Paraguay renounces war.

The posture worries some military figures and politicians in Paraguay because most of the country’s neighbors are upgrading their weaponry.

Um, one doesn’t need airplanes to launch a military coup against a sitting, elected president–see Chavecito, see Mel Zelaya. The case of Salvador Allende was exceptionally dramatic; he died not of the airborne bombing of the Moneda palace, but of a gunshot to the head. In reality, all you need for a coup to succeed are rifles that work and men enough to fire them, and the Paraguayan army surely has plenty of those.

The oh-so-worried “military figures and politicians” in the final paragraph are unnamed, and that too is hinky (not to mention shitty reporting). Maybe that’s because the “concern” is grossly misplaced. Nobody in any neighboring country is making noises about invading Paraguay. In fact, international relations in South America, with the exception of Peru and Colombia (both governed, badly, by right-wingers), are going very smoothly. Lugo is on good terms with all his fellow leftist presidents.

No, if Lugo has anyone to fear, it’s the very people he moved to eliminate–the generals he inherited from predecessors. These guys trained in the Stroessner era, which ended only 20 years ago. Many are graduates of the School of the Assassins (under whatever name it currently skulks about). Paraguay is still a very precarious civilian democracy. If Lugo, their first-ever leftist president, has information that these officers are plotting against him, he is perfectly within his rights to remove and replace them. In fact, he can do it even if there is no plot. That IS part of a civilian commander-in-chief’s job, last time I looked. And given what he’s got to deal with, in terms of oligarchs and vendepatria media barons stirring up unrest and looking to the military to “save” them from the socialist taxman, I’d say it’s only prudent for him to take preventive action.

In other words: Lugo 1, AP “journalists” 0.

PS: Oh look, they’re backpedalling already. Too funny!

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Don't Cry For Argentina, Fascism Without Swastikas, Newspeak is Nospeak, Paraguay, Uruguay | 1 Comment

Stupid Sex Tricks: What a dickhead!

…literally.

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Posted in Stupid Sex Tricks | 2 Comments

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Yummy, yummy…

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I don’t know what those golden-brown tubular things around Evo’s neck are, but they sure look nice and crispy. And they’re making me hungry. Mmmm, mmmmmmm.

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Posted in All About Evo, Festive Left Friday Blogging | 6 Comments