Samantha Bee knows:
Yup, it’s none other than…drumroll please…BRETT KAVANAUGH!
So fellas, here’s a quick and helpful tip: If you don’t ever want your life ruined by sexual assault allegations, there’s one surefire way to prevent that: DON’T SEXUALLY ASSAULT ANYONE!
There you go, I’ve saved you a bundle in legal expenses and a buttload of humiliation.
You’re welcome.
…and certainly NO sympathetic supreme-court judges. Much less ones now infamous for their beer consumption and their inability to keep their shit in.
In a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen, here is everything that’s wrong with the so-called “pro-life movement”, all rolled up in one very young, very dumb, very white guy in front of a busload of astroturf:
Yeah, that’s right: Someone whose body and life prospects will NEVER be affected by an unwanted pregnancy has an opinion, that he opines must trump (pardon the awful pun) the best interests of anyone whose body and life prospects actually WILL be affected by an unwanted pregnancy.
And he goes to “Liberty University” (note the quotes, there for a reason), too!
Really fucking sad and stupid. THIS fucking sad and stupid:
But then again, this is the kind of ass-sucking sycophant who would vote for Donnie even though he’s clearly on tape as saying he just grabs ’em by the pussy. Maybe he was onto something: When you’re famous (not really rich, not actually a star, just famous), some dumb broads really WILL let you do it. Because hey, boys will be boys, amirite? And because Mama Hogg said so.
I don’t feel a bit sorry for this idiotess; she’s made her bed in the pigsty, and she can fucking wallow in it like the dim-witted sow she is. I just feel sorry for her poor young daughters, who got dragged down into the same mud without their consent.
Oh mang, just look at this. Complete with shit-eating grin:
He lied, they laughed, and he said he wasn’t expecting that, which was the one moment he actually told the truth.
Later he backtracked on that, and claimed he had been angling for that reaction, after all. And of course, NOBODY believes him. Because everybody was laughing AT him, not WITH him, right from the start. He was clearly not joking. He was self-aggrandizing, and nobody was fooled.
Here’s the PM of New Zealand, explaining why everyone busted out guffawing:
“A spontaneous murmur”? Very diplomatically put. She’s far too nice to say what everyone was thinking, which is probably something along the lines of What a ridiculous fucking buffoon!
But here’s one attendee who was not at all shy about taking no guff from Donnie, and letting him have it with both barrels:
Bloomberg calls Evo “a well-known agitator at the UN with longstanding anti-American sentiments”, who “has in the past attacked the U.S. for its interventions in the Middle East, including the Iraq war, the toppling of Libyan dictator Moammar Qaddafi and the civil war in Syria.” Actually, nobody at the UN was “agitated” by Evo; he speaks for a majority of countries there when he criticizes US imperialism, whether Bloomberg likes it or not. There’s nothing “anti-American” about that, given that Evo, like the representatives of Canada, Mexico and indeed all of Latin America, is in fact an American himself. But isn’t it just like Bloomie to confuse imperialism with Americanism?
And if it’s an agitator they want to take swipes at, then ‘scuse me while I miss this guy:
Ah, Chavecito. He was talking about Dubya, who was nowhere near as dumb, mean, and blatantly thievish as Donnie (although Dubya WAS dumb, mean, and blatantly thievish just the same). But he, too, was telling the unvarnished truth as Latin America sees it. And how I wish we could have him back, not just because Venezuela needs him desperately, but because he’d show no qualms about burning Donnie’s britches right off his ass.
And he’d probably get a good chuckle out of what Stormy said about Donnie’s floppy little mushroom, too.
Artwork by the lovely and talented Mr. Jim Carrey — the best editorial cartoonist never to work for a newspaper.
Ahem. Notice that there’s a period there, instead of the question mark I used the other day? There’s a reason for that…
A third accuser of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh publicly identified herself Wednesday and alleged that Kavanaugh and others in the early 1980s spiked the drinks of girls at high school parties with intoxicants to make it easier for them to be gang raped.
The woman, Julie Swetnick, said Kavanaugh lined up with other boys, including his close friend Mark Judge, waiting to rape those girls at many parties — and that she once became a victim herself.
The allegations were detailed in an affidavit, signed under penalty of perjury, that was released by Swetnick’s lawyer, Michael Avenatti. Her statement was sent to a senior staffer on the Senate Judiciary Committee.
A signed affidavit? Yeah, that’s reason enough for me to put the period there. I can say with reasonable confidence that NO ONE signs this kind of statement unless they have a compelling case to make.
And if you wonder who she is and why she’s coming forward, just look at this:
Swetnick, a 55-year-old certified systems engineer who did not immediately respond to a request for comment, identified herself in the affidavit as a resident of Washington, D.C. While Avenatti had generally described Swetnick’s allegations in an email to the Judiciary Committee on Sunday, he had not previously identified her until Wednesday.
A 1980 graduate of Gaithersburg High School in Maryland, she said she has held multiple clearances for work done at the Treasury Department, U.S. Mint, IRS, State Department and Justice Department, among other government agencies.
A woman with multiple security clearances doesn’t just pick those up at random. She’d have to be extraordinarily transparent and open to investigation by authorities before she could be cleared to work for all the different agencies she has served. Meaning, this is a witness with an exceptionally high degree of probity. And that makes her statements all the more deserving of belief.
So, what is she bearing witness to? Well, THIS:
Swetnick says in her affidavit that she saw Kavanaugh in the early 1980s “drink excessively at many” house parties in suburban Maryland. At the time, Kavanaugh and Judge were students at Georgetown Prep, a private Catholic all-boys school.
She said Kavanaugh and Judge engaged in “abusive and physically agressive behavior toward girls,” which “included the fondling and groping of girls without their consent” and “not taking ‘No’ for an answer.”
During the years of 1981 and 1982, she said, she learned of efforts by Kavanaugh, his friend Judge and others “to spike the drinks of girls at house parties I attended with grain alcohol and/or drugs so as to cause girls to lose inhibitions and their ability to say ‘No.’ ”
Certain girls were targeted by those boys, and “it was usually a girl that was especially vulnerable because she was alone at the party or shy,” Swetnick claimed.
Swetnick said she “witnessed efforts by Mark Judge, Brett Kavanaugh and others to cause girls to become inebriated and disoriented so they could then be ‘gang raped’ in a side room or bedroom by a ‘train’ of numerous boys.”
“I have a firm recollection of seeing boys lined up outside rooms at many of these parties waiting for their ‘turn’ with a girl inside the room,” Swetnick said. “These boys included Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh.”
She also said in her affidavit sent to the Senate Judiciary Committee that in approximately 1982 “I became the victim of one of these ‘gang’ or ‘train’ rapes where Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh were present.”
“Shortly after the incident, I shared what had transpired with at least two other people,” Swetnick said.
“During the incident, I was incapacitated without my consent and unable to fight off the boys raping me. I believe I was drugged using Quaaludes or something similar placed in what I was drinking.”
So, not only has Julie Swetnick witnessed Kavanaugh and Judge in (hideously slimy) action, she has also been the victim of their actions…AND told at least two other people about them shortly afterward. Meaning, there are further witnesses who can and should be called to testify when it comes to that. And they will in turn testify that Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge were clear ringleaders — pimps — in a rape gang that targeted shy, vulnerable, easily isolated young women and girls for assault. REPEATEDLY.
So, what happened to Christine Blasey Ford back in 1982 was no isolated incident, and was perhaps only the first of many. If indeed it WAS only their first, and if they hadn’t already done it to someone else before her. Not being privy to their activities at that time, I can’t say for certain whether it was their very first time at the rape rodeo. But clearly they had plenty of time and opportunity to refine their grotesque techniques on subsequent occasions, and they did.
And, worst of all, Kavanaugh is also a human-rights violator (in effect, a high-level rape pimp) for another reason: He okayed a lot of war crimes, domestic espionage, and even torture under none other than dear ol’ Dubya. Remember him? That lovable goofus? Yeah, not so lovable in light of this:
As you know, in 2006, Judge Kavanaugh told the Committee under oath that he was “not aware of any issues” regarding “the legal justifications or the policies relating to the treatment of detainees”; was “not involved in the questions about the rules governing detention of combatants”; had nothing to do with issues related to rendition; and was unaware of, and saw no documents related to, the warrantless wiretapping program conducted without congressional authorization.
However, at least two documents that are publicly available on the Bush Library website from Judge Kavanaugh’s time as Staff Secretary suggest that he was involved in issues related to torture and rendition after 9/11. In one, just days after the existence of the Office of Legal Counsel “torture memos” was publicly revealed, then-Deputy White House Chief of Staff Harriet Miers forwarded to Judge Kavanaugh a set of talking points addressing the memos and U.S. torture policy. The forwarded email makes clear that then-Deputy National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley had personally asked for Judge Kavanaugh’s review. Similarly, another email shows that Judge Kavanaugh was included on an email chain circulating talking points on rendition and interrogation. These emails and talking points demonstrate why we need access to Judge Kavanaugh’s full record as Staff Secretary.
In addition, documents that have been produced to the Committee as part of the partisan process that you have brokered with Bill Burck further undercut Judge Kavanaugh’s blanket assertions that he had no involvement in or knowledge of post-9/11 terrorism policies. These documents are currently being withheld from the public at your insistence, but they shed additional light on Judge Kavanaugh’s involvement in these matters and are needed to question him in a public hearing.
After all, Judge Kavanaugh was an Associate White House Counsel on 9/11. Over the next several months and years, the White House sought legal opinions from the Office of Legal Counsel and advised the President on the legality of several controversial programs. For example, just six days after the 9/11 attack, Office of Legal Counsel lawyer John Yoo drafted a memorandum evaluating the legality of a program that would allow warrantless wiretapping of American’s e-mails and phone calls. Mr. Yoo, described in a public Inspector Generals’ report as “‘very well connected’ with officials in the White House,” addressed his memo to Deputy White House Counsel Timothy Flanigan, Judge Kavanaugh’s likely supervisor at the time. It is important for the public and full Senate to understand whether Judge Kavanaugh was involved in their communications, despite having told the Committee in 2006 that he had not seen or heard anything about the President’s warrantless wiretapping program until December 2005.
Ah yes, you all no doubt needed reminding that Dubya is not some cute, cuddly homebody, puttering around his Dallas retirement home and painting his puppies, and passing candy to Michelle Obama at John McCain’s funeral. Just like you needed reminding that Brett Fucking Kavanaugh was not just some superannuated virgin choirboy during his formative years at high school and college.
And only now are we seeing just what grotesque circles they all run in. Who knew that high-school sexual assaults and frat-house rapes would be just the tip of a very treacherous iceberg, and that what lies below the waterline is even uglier, and could only be deemed salacious if one is already one hell of a pervert?
Well, I can’t say I didn’t suspect as much.
Strap yourselves in, folks, this vomit-comet ride is not even off the ground yet.
Ahem. Y’all do realize I’m only using that question mark because…oh, take it away, darling Dusty:
Ah, that was lovely. Anyhow, as I was saying: Nothing has been proved. But I know what conclusions I’m going to draw after reading…this:
Michael Avenatti, the lawyer for Stormy Daniels, says he is “aware of significant evidence” that Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh participated in multiple gang rapes while in high school.
In an email posted to Twitter Sunday night, Avenatti writes that Kavanaugh, his childhood friend Mark Judge, and others “would participate in the targeting of women with alcohol/drugs in order to allow a ‘train’ of men to subsequently gang rape them.”
I trust I need not tell any of you what “running a train on someone” means. You can look it up if you don’t know it, and if you’re so inclined, but I think the implication speaks for itself.
Seems that what Christine Blasey Ford is alleging is just the tip of a very large, and very treacherous, iceberg. Last night, another woman came forward with similar allegations to hers; the second accuser, Deborah Ramirez, says that Kavanaugh assaulted her when both were in their first year at Yale. This would put her assault about a year later than Ford’s. But, as in the Ford case, the victim was reluctant to come forward, because alcohol was involved, and her memories of the incident were thus less than clear. But, like Christine Ford, she wants the FBI to jump in:
After six days of carefully assessing her memories and consulting with her attorney, Ramirez said that she felt confident enough of her recollections to say that she remembers Kavanaugh had exposed himself at a drunken dormitory party, thrust his penis in her face, and caused her to touch it without her consent as she pushed him away. Ramirez is now calling for the F.B.I. to investigate Kavanaugh’s role in the incident. “I would think an F.B.I. investigation would be warranted,” she said.
And why would it be warranted, I wonder?
Ramirez said that, when both she and Kavanaugh were freshmen at Yale, she was invited by a friend on the women’s soccer team to a dorm-room party. She recalled that the party took place in a suite at Lawrance Hall, in the part of Yale known as Old Campus, and that a small group of students decided to play a drinking game together. “We were sitting in a circle,” she said. “People would pick who drank.” Ramirez was chosen repeatedly, she said, and quickly became inebriated. At one point, she said, a male student pointed a gag plastic penis in her direction. Later, she said, she was on the floor, foggy and slurring her words, as that male student and another stood nearby. (Ramirez identified the two male onlookers, but, at her request, The New Yorker is not naming them.)
A third male student then exposed himself to her. “I remember a penis being in front of my face,” she said. “I knew that’s not what I wanted, even in that state of mind.” She recalled remarking, “That’s not a real penis,” and the other students laughing at her confusion and taunting her, one encouraging her to “kiss it.” She said that she pushed the person away, touching it in the process. Ramirez, who was raised a devout Catholic, in Connecticut, said that she was shaken. “I wasn’t going to touch a penis until I was married,” she said. “I was embarrassed and ashamed and humiliated.” She remembers Kavanaugh standing to her right and laughing, pulling up his pants. “Brett was laughing,” she said. “I can still see his face, and his hips coming forward, like when you pull up your pants.” She recalled another male student shouting about the incident. “Somebody yelled down the hall, ‘Brett Kavanaugh just put his penis in Debbie’s face,’ ” she said. “It was his full name. I don’t think it was just ‘Brett.’ And I remember hearing and being mortified that this was out there.”
The similarity between these allegations and Michael Avenatti’s bombshell is abundantly clear. Both women had been drinking at the parties in question, and both times, Kavanaugh and an accomplice (or accomplices) corralled them and sexually assaulted them.
Once might be an isolated instance; twice, however, is no coincidence. It is indicative of a pattern beginning to form. It’s not much of a stretch to assume that these instances were to be the prelude to a rape, or even a gang-rape. These two women were lucky to have been able to get away before Kavanaugh & Co. were able to carry out any further plans on them.
Others, however, were apparently NOT so lucky. Especially if they happened to have contact with Kavanaugh’s equally creepy (and more overtly douchey) friend, Mark Judge:
After seeing Judge’s denial, Elizabeth Rasor, who met Judge at Catholic University and was in a relationship with him for about three years, said that she felt morally obligated to challenge his account that “ ‘no horseplay’ took place at Georgetown Prep with women.” Rasor stressed that “under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t reveal information that was told in confidence,” but, she said, “I can’t stand by and watch him lie.” In an interview with The New Yorker, she said, “Mark told me a very different story.” Rasor recalled that Judge had told her ashamedly of an incident that involved him and other boys taking turns having sex with a drunk woman. Rasor said that Judge seemed to regard it as fully consensual. She said that Judge did not name others involved in the incident, and she has no knowledge that Kavanaugh participated. But Rasor was disturbed by the story and noted that it undercut Judge’s protestations about the sexual innocence of Georgetown Prep. (Barbara Van Gelder, an attorney for Judge, said that he “categorically denies” the account related by Rasor. Van Gelder said that Judge had no further comment.)
Gee, what a swell couple of guys. And all the others they hung out with, too. Would you trust them to make and interpret laws concerning sexuality for the women in YOUR life? Or, for that matter, for YOU?
And if you don’t…shouldn’t you be raising hell?
Yes, this really happened:
Needless to say, Mike didn’t take Donnie’s “advice”. And he DID make an unflattering movie about Donnie, which is out now.
Pity it didn’t happen sooner.
And given the blatant hypocrisies surrounding Brett Kavanaugh, this has never rung more true than now.
