Oh HELL no.

Frasier Crane…the next Jordan Fucking Peterson? Oh please GOD no…

Please, Kelsey Grammer, we’re begging you to sputter away in obscurity, along with your co-religionist, Roseanne Barr. It’s the best place for the both of you.

And actually: Weren’t radio shrinks (outside of sitcoms) the forerunners of Jordan and his snake-oil psychology, anyway? Pretty sure that “Dr.” Laura (who’s not an actual, trained psychologist and shouldn’t claim to be one) and others like her (FUX Snooze’s pet perv, anyone?) already held that market a decade or two ago. Their influence may have waned because people simply got tired of their schtick, or it may just have migrated to the charlatans of YouTube along with the millennial/Gen Z “alt”-right, as I suspect it has. But whether it’s on radio, TV or YouTube, it’s all the same shit, coming out of different assholes in different toilet cubicles. It’s all fascism, pure and stinky.

I do think Sam’s cider-kryptonite proposal has merit, though. You know the old saying? Well, it has a new variant, fit for the age of the YouTube snake-oil peddler:

An apple a day keeps the schlocktor away!

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How dumb is Donnie, really?

Uh…pretty damn dumb, actually:

I’m not sure how one goes about breeding tanning beds, much less inbreeding them. But I do know that when you get someone as dumb about money as Donnie is into power, you end up with a financial crisis that won’t take just years to resolve, but whole generations.

And yes, I would in fact prefer to see a car-wash owner get into the White House, at the rate that things are currently going. Because at the very least, that person would be no worse…and in terms of fiscal sense, a whole lot better.

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Donnie’s incredible 9-11 tackiness

Remember how Donnie marked a national tragedy 17 years ago, when it first happened? Jeff Waldorf does:

BTW, that bit about Drumpf’s Dump Tower being the tallest building in Manhattan? Patently false. It’s only the 64th tallest in NYC. And that means it lags behind the Empire State Building, which in fact became (once more) the tallest NYC building on that day. So there’s that.

But wait! Donnie’s still not done egotizing about that day:

Yeah. That happened. That obscene fist-pump, just today. As though it were a victory rally for him, and not a national day of mourning and remembrance of the dead.

What a fuckass.

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Dougie’s dic(k)tator move

Don’t know who made this, but it’s perfect. It sums up the situation quite succinctly. When you have first past the post with nowhere near a majority of the vote, when voters stayed home rather than turn out for democracy’s sake, when craven partisans saw that they could stop this Drumpfish nonsense and didn’t, and when somebody took that bullshit for a mandate, this is what happens: A former hash dealer who never was elected mayor of Toronto (but whose crack-smoking brother was, for a time) decides unilaterally and on no one’s advice to gerrymander Toronto so that Conservative candidates get the upper hand in the upcoming municipal election. And he does it by reducing the overall seat count on city council.

Only there’s a catch: It’s unconstitutional as all hell. And a superior-court judge rules as much. So what does our would-be dictator do? An end-run around that by invoking the infamous Notwithstanding Clause. Which is basically a loophole in the Charter of Rights that allows a government, at least theoretically, to arbitrarily violate the Charter rights of Canadian citizens. In reality, it’s rarely been used, and those who’ve tried have been shot down in court.

But all that isn’t deterring ol’ Dougie. He’s determined to be Dictator of Toronto, even though he was not elected to that (and very dubiously elected to the premiership, but that’s another story for another day). And he’s doing it all to spite and punish the people of Toronto, among whom he was vastly unpopular as a council member, for good reasons and plenty of them.

Oh, and he’s threatening to do it to Ottawa, too, because that city is also not Conservative, no doubt as a fuck-you to them for sneering at his uncouth ass from their lofty perches around Parliament Hill.

If Dougie’s looking to make enemies, he’s sure got a blinding head start. Whether he’ll ultimately accomplish anything by it other than alienating and infuriating a lot of good people further up the food chain, however, is another story. More likely, he’s going to end up going down in Ontario’s history as the worst sack of shit to squat in Queen’s Park since Mike Fucking Harris.

Only, with any luck, Dougie’s nasty, brutish term in office will be far shorter than Mikey’s. And less effectual, too.

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Music for a Sunday: One for Brett Kavanaugh

You can save the explanations, dude…you are so fucked.

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Donnie’s “coffee boy” gets jail time

Hey! Remember George Papadopoulos, whom Donnie once called “the coffee boy” and whose actual role in his campaign he tried to play down? Well, that “coffee boy” is about to do time…for lying to the FBI:

Mind you, it’s only 14 days, because he’s only Donnie’s covfefe boy. But Mueller has bigger fish lined up and about to bite the bait, so small fry gets small time. Still, this is the third Dirty Donnie boy to go down in the last two weeks. And the clock is tick, tick, ticking away on him. STILL.

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Anominous.

Doo doo doo doo doo…

Donnie’s coke habit must be catching up to him. Either that, or his dentures are falling out. Either way, the plaid-shirted young guy right behind him is the real star of this show.

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Why Donnie is flipping out (even more than usual) lately

Why? Because it’s a day of the week ending in “day”, and yet another believable but unflattering book about him is now in print. This one, from Bob Woodward — the Republican half of the journalistic tag-team that exposed the criminality of the Nixon White House in the early 1970s. It’s probably not meant to be sensational, but it is. And oh my load, the things it reveals. Jeff Waldorf breaks it down in brief:

The most stunning revelation, for me, is the one where Donnie thinks the “worst fucking mistake” he ever made was to denounce the neo-Nazis and KKKers after Charlottesville. This only under intense public pressure, mind you — and all because a vehicular assassin ran down a group of antifascist demonstrators and killed Heather Heyer. Somehow, I doubt that Donnie regrets the “very fine people” bit, at least insofar as it refers to Nazis.

I honestly wish I could say any of this surprised me, but not a bit of it does, not even THAT part. I’m more than willing to believe the worst of Donnie, because I know what kind of an egotistical ass-Nazi he is. But, unbelievably, there are still MAGAts out there who think he can do no wrong. He could be caught with a dead kid, naked and face-down, on the floor in front of him, his own pants down, a huge boner and a pot of Vaseline at the ready, and those people would still say he was their god-emperor.

SAD.

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Fascist idiots burn shoes for nothing

These people. Ye Gods. They are SO stupid. If it weren’t for all the privilege they’re soaking in (as Jeff Waldorf points out so neatly above), they’d literally die of their own idiocy. I mean, just LOOK at these clowns:

Not only are they destroying their own socks and shorts — presumably long since bought and paid for — they’re also literally setting their own feet on fire:

Honestly, even the satire isn’t funny anymore. In fact, it’s starting to sound alarmingly like real news. And all because right-wingers would rather tear up their own money — the money they’re always telling us they worked SO hard to earn — in order to score a few cheesy political points. And of course, as with so many other wingnut schemes, it’s a total own-goal.

Not only are these asshats no brighter than all the fascists of yesteryear who thought that burning books would somehow make unwelcome newfangled ideas also go up in smoke, they’re even dumber than all those other bozos (or were they the same bozos?) who destroyed their environmentally-unfriendly coffee machines after Keurig offended their snowflakey sensibilities. Or those idiots who converted their ugly-ass diesel trucks into even MORE fuel-inefficient monstrosities, out of some obscure belief that it’s a great way to give the fuck-finger to anyone who actually cares about clean air.

Saaaay, that gives me an idea…

Hey fascists! How about REALLY showing your patriotism by simply boycotting breathing? After all, doesn’t it offend you to have to share the world’s precious oxygen with all those nasty-wasty non-white people who take a knee when the national anthem plays? Come on, pwn all of us commie-pinko socialists and antifa racist-punchers by giving up the very air that you breathe. I know you can do it. You know you want to.

Just DO it.

PS: Turns out that the guy setting his own shoes on fire while still wearing them was just a satirist commenting on the stupidity of it all. Glad he’s okay, but sorry for whoever those burned feet in the stock photo he used belonged to!

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Posted in Economics for Dummies, Environmentally Ill, Fascism Without Swastikas, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Racist?, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Fascist idiots burn shoes for nothing

Music for a Sunday: Not just a link in anybody’s chain

Ladies and gents, the Queen:

Rest well, great lady.

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