The last and best word on sexual assaults in Germany

against-sexism-against-racism

German women demonstrate against sexism and racism both. They’re getting it right, at least. The media, both there and here? Not so much.

For the last two or three days, my newsfeed has been buzzing with stuff about the sexual assaults in Germany on New Year’s Eve. And so, unfortunately, has my head. It’s all become such a fucking shit-show that even confessed rapist Roosh V and his douchey lackeys have been tweeting about it — naturally (and ironically for Roosh, who is Iranian) from the islamophobic/xenophobic/racist angle. It’s enough to make you sick of life itself.

But yesterday morning, I found this among the link-stew, and it cleared my aching head right up. Mira Sigel of the radical German feminist blog, Die Störenfriedas, has written the last and best word on the whole disgusting morass, which she calls “The Farce of Köln”:

On New Year’s Eve, at the main railway station in Köln and in other major German cities, an as yet unknown number of women were sexually molested and robbed. Around 80 victims are said to have made denunciations, and there’s even talk of rape. The perpetrators were, according to description, of North African and Arab origin. The net has been buzzing ever since. There are those who warn of racist accusations, and others are thundering anew about the fall of the west. Politicians are talking about the “hard hand of the rule of law”. The victims don’t even come up in the whole tumult.

New Year’s Eve, a night outside the norm. Everyone’s celebrating, staying up late, kicking up their heels. At the Köln train station, there is fear of terrorist attacks, so local and federal police are on hand. Masses of people gather in the square out front, some groups set off fireworks and rockets into the crowd. Women get crowded in, groped, fingered, surrounded, threatened, robbed and even raped. Those who come to their aid get threatened. The perpetrators, unanimously described by all, are young men between 15 and 35, of North African and Arab origin. The police know nothing about it, but write in their report that New Year’s Eve passed peacefully. In the social networks, news of assaults, victims and eyewitnesses multiply. The first local newspapers snap the topic up. The major media ignore it, being too afraid to stoke racist resentments or report false news. The waves keep lapping higher; there are accusations, assignments of blame, warnings. But the whole tumult is a farce that scorns the suffering of the victims.

Former family minister Kristina Schróder quickly posted to Twitter something about misogynous violence which is entrenched in Islam. The Köln assaults, quite clearly a product of immigration and the so-called refugee crisis? It’s easy to find fault for such occurrences in foreigners, in the Other. Why should it be the fault of Muslim society when foreign men pester women here? It is an expression of an already laughable hypocrisy to act as if we were some kind of example to foreign men when it comes to dealing with women. Quite the contrary: They’re coming into a land in which pornified advertising smiles at them from every billboard and screen. Where women are offered as wares. Sex-buying has long been in the middle of society, and rape a punishment-free crime. Flat-rate fucking and “facial abuse” are part of the German man’s personal, western freedoms in a so-called civilized society, which even the media will defend tooth and nail; no one wants to recognize sexual violence when women get knocked unconscious in pornos, and the average German man gets off on it. If anyone is still in doubt as to whether prostitution is sexual violence, they should take a look around the john forums. “Nurindenarsch” (OnlyInTheAss) and “Nuttendestroyer” (HookerDestroyer) are ubiquitous pseudonyms. You can spare yourself the reading, the trigger danger is great.

The magazine BILD writes, about Köln, of a “sex mob in our cities”; Alice Schwarzer [of EMMA] of gang-bangs in front of the train station, and calls the perpetrators terrorists. As absurd as it might sound, both are right. But it’s not the foreigners, the refugees, the Others, who have created this climate; it is our own lying society, in which rape culture plays out in song lyrics, advertising, and countless films, and print articles in which the victims are defamed and the perpetrators get off scot-free. There is a “sex mob in our cities” every single day in all German cities — and above all, where there are red-light districts, brothels, “sauna clubs”, and bawdyhouses.

Foreign men from predominantly Muslim lands, who come to our country, are unfamiliar with the open displays of the sexual exploitation of women. Even in their countries, there is prostitution and porn, but it’s in secret and socially scorned. And there is strict segregation of the sexes. This segregation works to the disadvantage of women, who must cover themselves, stay in private, and be reserved. Men in Muslim countries have more freedom and a different self-image. How much of that is due to religion and how much to culture is debatable, but it is definitely not in the genes. So these men come into a country in which everything is porno, and this “all porno”, again, works to the disadvantage of women. They are objects on billboards, fresh meat in the brothels, advertised loud and shrill. In all the ads you’ll find half-naked, stretched-out women as decoration. Women are wares in our cutlure, openly displayed, dehumanized and degraded. And then we seriously wonder why men who come from another cultural context can’t understand how, as a good German, one can molest and abuse women, but only in dark alleyways, in the subway, in the carnival, in the bordello, within one’s own four walls, and on the TV screen, but not in groups and in public places? Don’t worry. We have to give integration a bit of time. Then even foreign perpetrators will know how one uses women’s bodies with violence, without landing in court. Millions of German men are demonstrating it for them every day — legally and without punishment.

Sex-buying is legal in Germany as of 2002, and even taxed. For women, prostitution is a rights-free space, without barriers or protection. The deferred prostitute-protection law won’t change anything about that, either. As soon as a man lays a ten-euro note on the table, he can do what he wants with a woman. Prostitutes’ unions advise their members not to wear scarves or earrings, so that they won’t be as easily injured. Women are being advertised for sale for all to see, and johns celebrate their brothel visits in videos.

Those who don’t want to go to a brothel and pay for it, though, can still be reasonably sure that in Germany, if they force a woman to have sex with them against her will, nothing will happen to them. Rape is almost punishment-free here, only a fraction of the assaults are even reported, and of these perpetrators, only a laughable 8.4% will be sentenced to an even more laughable jail term. The victims have to run the gauntlet of dignity-robbing “character assessments”, and if they have rotten luck, the defence attorney will find out that they’ve had more than one sex partner, and make them out to be sluts. That is legal in Germany, and the reality of our “rule of law”.

Those who are now screaming loudest for the perpetrators to be punished, on Twitter and so on, are the same who like to laugh at #Aufschrei [“Outcry”, a current German feminist hashtag against gendered violence] and rape victims who dare to come forward, insinuating that they’re only doing it to get back at a man, and who usually don’t care much about women’s rights. The victims of Köln only serve for them to shape racist opinions; it’s not about women, their safety and their rights at all. If the perps of Köln were German soccer fans, the victims would for sure and certain be discredited as hysterical feminazis, and no one would believe them.

But we don’t need foreigners and refugees to make women feel insecure in Germany. In the Köln carnival, every year, there are numerous assaults. But the victims are, so they say, at fault themselves, knew what they were letting themselves in for, shouldn’t have had so much to drink, or gone out on the street dressed differently at all. How close this pronouncement is to the cover-up directive in Islamic societies, remains unnoticed to those who carry out this type of victim-blaming.

Köln’s mayor, Henriette Reker, blew the same horn when she announced a “code of conduct” for women, directing them to keep “an arm’s length” between themselves and strangers. So, instead of making certain that women can move around unmolested in public, they’ve assigned them a portion of the blame for their own molestations. The men, as happens so often, get excused on account of their “nature”. Boys will be boys! Even long before New Year’s Eve, women in Germany have known that they are not safe at night and on public streets. One European woman in every three has already experienced sexual violence.

But the biggest declaration of scorn for the victims is that there is no legal recourse for the crimes committed against them in Köln. “The hard hand of the rule of law”, for which even politicians are now calling out, just doesn’t exist. Justice Minister Maas, of all people, should know that already. In Germany, it’s like this: Only when sexual violence takes place under genuine danger to life and limb, is there anything that the law can do about it. A simple “no”, or even the arm’s length, is not enough. The perpetrator can still regard all that as just part of a seduction game — thanks to “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Meanwhile, in socially acceptable BDSM, it’s already like that, and everything there is voluntary. The 80 victims of Köln can only wait and hope for a political signal, because in Berlin, they’re fearful for social order. Legally, justice will barely be done, just as it is for hundreds of thousands or millions of German rape victims every year.

The victims of Köln hardly come up in the debate at all. Some misuse them as xenophobic opinion-makers, others are so afraid of racism that they’d rather just silence the victims. Both are cowardly. Both are wrong. What’s right is to recognize that sexual violence is part of our own society, and if we don’t want immigrants to practice it, then we have to see to it ourselves that it is finally and consequently outlawed by our society. That victims must be heard, respected and protected, and that perpetrators be heaped with shame and scorn — and not those to whom they have done sexual violence. In the whole debate, it’s not about the victims, the afflicted and traumatized women, who, as is so often the case, are left alone with their experiences, held to blame, or promptly abused for other purposes. We should listen to them and show them our solidarity.

Translation mine.

I really have nothing to add to this, as it sums up very nicely what I myself have been feeling (and blogging!) for the last couple of days.

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Germany: After New Year’s Eve assaults, the deluge…of stupidity and racism

More raw footage of the New Year’s Eve goings-on in Köln, Germany. A voice off-camera asks the guy recording it if he’s ever seen anything like this before, and he replies that he can’t say; he’s waiting to see what 2016 brings (at around the 1:20 mark). You can clearly see a lot of unsafe handling of fireworks in a very crowded public square, and explosions going off perilously close to the glass front of the train station, as well as the face of the landmark cathedral across the way. You can also see that the crowd is mostly male, and very loose-knit, in groups of maybe half a dozen or so just milling about. (Seems that young men have a higher tolerance for this kind of jackassery than just about anyone else.) At around the 3:30 mark, an off-camera voice says “Schweinerei in Köln” — piggery in Köln. Meanwhile, a police cruiser slowly circles but doesn’t pick anyone up. More fireworks, more shots of cop cars and paddywagons; then, around the 4:45 mark, a brief snatch of a male voice speaking Arabic. It’s followed by a blurry shot of some little kids lighting Roman candles. Lots more bangs, booms and flashes follow; it’s hard to make out what’s going on. Most of the people, in the foreground anyway, appear to be moving. In the back, some knots of others — mostly male — are just hanging around. Around the 6:30 mark, the camera zooms in on a backpack lying unattended on the ground while some police in bulletproof vests (but with helmets off) cluster nearby, then inspect it, possibly for explosives. When a paddywagon starts circling the area, some of the revelers start walking — slowly. But in the background, you can still hear lots of fireworks going off. One thing you can’t see is anyone groping anyone, let alone who’s doing it to whom. Maybe the angle was all wrong? In any case, police are using videos like these to try to identify possible perpetrators, and are asking for the public’s help.

Meanwhile, what’s being done to prevent further criminality and brawling sounds neither adequate nor reassuring, particularly since it manages to come off both sexist AND racist:

With a catalogue of rules of conduct and a new rule that even major celebrations without an official organizer must have security measures in place, the police and the mayor of Köln, Henriette Reker, want to prevent assaults like those of New Year’s Eve from becoming regular occurrences.

“It is important to prevent such cases from ever happening again,” said Reker on Tuesday after a crisis meeting with investigators. “In the meantime, we have heard that it’s happened in other cities, too. Naturally, that doesn’t comfort us,” Reker added. Among others, Hamburg has had to deal with similar excesses.

In future, large events must be regarded differently, the crisis committee said. For that, they want to take preventive measures that are to take effect in the coming Carnival festivities. Among them, “rules of conduct” for young women and girls, “so that such things don’t happen to them,” says Reker, referring to the sexual assaults on New Year’s Eve. There is already a code of conduct, which will now be published and soon downloadable online.

Among the rules will be to keep an arm’s length between oneself and strangers, to stay in one’s own group, and not become separated from it, to ask for help from bystanders in case of emergency, and to become involved as a witness, or to inform police.

There will also be rules for carnival-goers “from other cultural circles”, “so that no one will get mixed up as to what is festive behavior in Köln and what has nothing to do with openness, in particular sexual openness.” Whether such incidents can be ruled out through such regulations is a big question, however, they said.

Translation mine.

“From other cultural circles” has got to be the cutest no-I’m-not-racist-but-really-I-am bit of euphemistic sophistry I’ve seen in a while. And how about that arm’s-length rule for the ladies? Yeah, I’m sure they’ll have no trouble enforcing that! After all, hasn’t it been our feminine duty to police the sexual (mis)conduct of males since forever? And hey, it saves the cops having to step in and uncomfortably set aside their own sexist training and upbringing, too!

The article goes on to note that video surveillance is also on the agenda, which I guess is what’s meant by that vague talk about a “security concept” for unorganized large-scale celebrations. On the surface of it, that doesn’t sound so bad. Look for it to be promptly abused when legitimate and peaceful protests go down, though.

Meanwhile, no word from the police chief, Wolfgang Albers, as to the identities of any of the perpetrators. My hunch is that they can’t possibly ALL be Middle Eastern, or refugees. White men, and Germans are no exception, are every bit as capable of violence and opportunism when there’s a big, disorderly crowd to give them cover. Throw a little alcohol and some ill-aimed fireworks into the mix, and you’ve got sexual terror just waiting to happen. The timidity of the police in the face of it all has got to be pretty damn emboldening, too.

Meanwhile, a German blogger has a useful reality check for media and authorities alike:

1. When, in Köln, of a group of around a thousand men, about 100 men commit crimes, the correct headline is not “Köln: Thousand men attack women”.

2. When the police tell the local prosecutor, “All signs to date clearly indicate repeat offenders known to police, and they have nothing to do with refugees”, then the word “refugees” also doesn’t belong in a correct headline.

3. Really it doesn’t.

4. Even when headlines in which such words as “a thousand men”, “refugees”, and “molested women” come up promise to get a lot of clicks.

5. Journalism has nothing to do with clicks, but with facts.

6. Pro-tip: Facts are whatever is firmly proven.

7. There is no correct headline with false facts.

8. So cut that out.

9. We don’t like to say it, but wrong headlines like those of the 1000 refugees, who molested the women of Köln, make us not very inclined to care about rescuing journalism.

10. Once spread, headlines can’t be unwritten. The impression that 1000 refugees in Köln molested women is what remains. Forever, no matter how many explanatory articles are being pushed after it now.

11. Can’t you just hear PEGIDA, the AFD, and so on and so forth, laughing at how nicely the lie-press does their business for them?

12. We Princess Reporters, the last bastion against the hordes of Darkness, will be spending today sighing.

Translation, again, mine.

So yeah. Sensationalism in the media, as well as incompetence and stupidity on the part of authorities? Not a good look. And fascists like those of the AFD and PEGIDA are the only ones whom it will benefit in the long run.

Also, the antifascist site, Netz Gegen Nazis, has its own theory as to the criminal motivations of these “repeat offenders known to police” — and it happens to coincide with something the police also said (which I translated in my previous entry):

On New Year’s Eve in Köln, according to current reports, it came to various sexual assaults with the goal of robbing women, who were on their way around the main train station. In the first press reports there was talk about 1,000 men, some of whom perpetrated crimes — but it was just a big New Year’s Eve bash in front of the Cathedral. In the meantime, the police are looking at several hundred suspects, who were acting on motives of thievery and went about it in a targeted and strategic manner, as the police reported:

“The victims happened to be around the Cathedral during the New Year’s celebrations, and in front of the train station, when several men surrounded them. The size of the perpetrator-groups varied from two or three to up to 20 persons, of North African appearance according to eyewitnesses. The suspects used targeted groping of women to distract from the actual crime: Theft of valuables. Particularly wallets and mobile phones were taken. In some cases the men just kept going and touched women, most of them coming in from elsewhere, inappropriately.”

This criminal method is called the “dancing up trick”.

Unlike what early press reports suggested, it has nothing to do with “disinhibited” men, or refugees, or Muslims, but to repeat offenders, known to police, with clear criminal motivations that also extended to massive sexual assaults. After New Year’s Eve, around 30 crimes had been denounced. Meanwhile, there are now around 90, among them 15 sexual assaults and one rape.

Again, translation mine.

A few paragraphs later, they go on to cite a pertinent tweet by Anne Roth: “People who only care about protecting women when we get attacked by foreigners are racists. Whether in Köln or Kabul.”

Exactly. You cannot fight sexism with racism. Both tend to crop up in the same people, and both stem from the same slimy place. Both have to be tackled together, or nothing of worth gets accomplished. Bear that in mind the next time you hear right-wing bullshit about refugees, okay?

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New Year’s Eve in Germany: No terror attacks, but mass sexual assault in at least three cities

News footage from the cathedral city of Köln on New Year’s Eve. Cellphone video shows unruly crowds shooting off fireworks carelessly. The local officials are worried that the appearance of some of the men in the footage might spark riots against refugees and foreigners. There is also talk of increased security in light of the pre-Lenten carnival celebrations for which the city is world-famous.

Happy New Year, ladies! How’re your hangovers? Still not feeling great? Well, just be thankful you weren’t ringing in 2016 in Germany, then, because more than one major city has seen some new and unprecedented violence this year. No, it wasn’t terrorists — at least, not the kind with a clear ideology. This was sexual terrorism, and the targets weren’t buildings or officials or even official parties. They were the oldest targets of terrorism of all…namely, WOMEN:

How could it happen that on New Year’s Eve, in the middle of Köln at the main railway station, big packs of men could assault women? Countless victims have testified to sexual violence. And more and more keep coming forward. Where were the police, anyway? And how did other passersby react? Did they look away?

At times, there might have been a thousand men. One of the assaulted women told of “fingers in all orifices”. Another says they “tore tights and underwear” off her. Another one says that about 30 men surrounded her, called her a “slut”, and groped her butt, breasts and between her legs.

Another one was kettled in, jeered at, and pelted with cherry bombs. She told EMMA that she is 50 years old, she would like to be called Susanne, and reports: “I just wanted to cross the station quickly with my girlfriend to have a beer in a pub on the other side. But as soon as we got to the station yard, all I could see was men. There were hundreds! And they treated us like prey!”

There is talk of panic and screaming, of fear and helplessness. And of a rape. Just one, so far.

There were scenes like those we saw on TV of Tahrir Square, as the situation in Egypt was escalating and countless women — Egyptians and western journalists alike — became victims of sexual violence. But this time, the mass assaults took place not in Egypt, and not in any other land in a state of civil war, but in the middle of Germany. And on one of the supposedly best-secured places in all the land: the main train station of Köln.

And on New Year’s Eve, of all times — amid a Europe-wide state of emergency against “terror threats”, when heightened security measures supposedly reigned. But the terror of that night had nothing to do with suitcase bombs and machine guns. These men were using their hands as weapons. And so the police and security personnel were apparently blind at first to what was going on in front of the backdrop provided by the famous city cathedral.

Officials were “totally taken by surprise” at the sheer magnitude of the violence. At a press conference in Köln on Monday, where EMMA was also present, police president Wolfgang Albers spoke of “crimes in a whole new dimension”.

What is known so far: Between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m., on New Year’s Eve, there were physical injuries, muggings, and sexual assaults around the Köln railway station. Up to a thousand men had been assembled at times, and according to some witnesses, “came from the North African and Arabian areas”. The police can’t and won’t say more about the perpetrators, apparently. Only that there were many. And that nobody was arrested.

And also: That at least one in every four witness accounts dealt with sexual violence against women. How many women are among the to date 90 victims who have come forward to police to complain, the police can’t say (although that really shouldn’t be very hard). Specialized personnel for the care of sexual violence victims were called up, they say.

There are many open questions after this terror-night in Köln. For example: How can it even be that aggressive and drunken mobs of men could be gathered on a highly secured spot like the train station in such numbers, to harass women en masse, even abuse them — without an immediate response? The police esplain that with the difficulty of overseeing the spot, the wild and alcoholic atmosphere, the noise of fireworks. “You couldn’t hear a call for help,” they say. In any case, there were 143 officers on scene — and they all didn’t hear or see a thing? Or did they just not take that very seriously?

The situation escalated so much that the area had to be cleared from time to time that night on account of rioting. But not one man was arrested for sexual harassment.

“The perpetrators used targeted groping of the women to distract them from the actual crime: theft of valuables,” reads the Köln police press statement. What are they trying to tell us there? That sexual harassment is no “crime”? And anyway, whoever wants to steal a cellphone will do so quickly and furtively. Men who surround women and grope them between the legs want to do just that. They’re not just robbing the women of their phones, but of their dignity.

Just as men have been doing it for centuries, all over the world, although as a rule in houses, behind closed doors, in secret. The “new quality” of the assaults at the train station lies in the disinhibition needed to do this violence out in public — under the eyes of thousands of onlookers, including those of the police officers. It’s never been like that in Germany before.

And then there’s another question that might touch off the tinder of the already heated refugee debate: Where did these men come from? How can it be that such a large number of men band together and run amuck in a public place like the train station for hours?

Translation mine.

EMMA goes on to report that the Reeperbahn, Hamburg’s famous red-light district, and Stuttgart, a city all-too-well-known for its prostitution, also fell victim to wolf-packs of drunken, rapacious men on New Year’s Eve.

Somehow, despite some people’s eagerness to blame North African and Middle Eastern refugees, I don’t think refugees are the real problem here. As the EMMA article itself points out, this is the kind of thing that happens all the time, domestically, and all but invisibly. Sexual violence has no ethnicity and no religion; it’s a near-universal thing. As is the willingness of police to overlook it: “Oh, just a domestic dispute” is a common refrain from the boys (and it IS mostly BOYS) in blue, usually following a rape and preceding a murder.

Violence against women is and always will be taken less seriously, whether in a railway station or a part of any city which is famous for its legal (but barely and poorly regulated) brothels. All of this is no coincidence. Under the present prostitution law in Germany, it’s quite permissible to do anything to anyone who is deemed to be for sale. Brothels routinely advertise an “anything goes” climate of condom-free, cheap, flat-rate sex, no limits. It’s hardly a surprise, then, that young men would think that a drunken, party-hearty atmosphere such as that of New Year’s Eve would be their great opportunity to grab publicly and for free what they’d otherwise be paying 50 to 100 euros for the privilege of doing in private.

And the police can’t do anything about it, either? Well, there’s a shock. They’re not allowed to raid a mega-bordello unless there’s good cause to believe it’s involved in a human trafficking ring, and that suspects matching descriptions of Eastern European mafiosi have been seen wandering in and out its doors, possibly with under-age girls in tow. There HAVE been raids, but they’ve been few in comparison to the likely number of actual violators.

And if refugees happen to come from a climate where it’s widely believed that any woman out in public is a prostitute herself, and therefore “fair game” for whatever molestation the dudes have in mind, that’s hardly surprising either. They’re coming from one such climate and landing in another, I’m sad to say. Germany has set itself up for this…not by allowing refugees, but by allowing pimping and brothel-keeping, and with it, human smuggling — not from troubled parts of the Middle East or northern Africa, but from Ukraine, Moldova and Romania.

In the meantime, it’s a fact of life in German cities with red-light districts: If you’re a woman, passing through after dark, you stand a good chance of being solicited, harassed, even assaulted. It doesn’t matter if you’re for sale or not; you’ll be treated like you are. No matter your age, your looks, or how you’re dressed.

And if young Middle Eastern refugee guys come into a major German city, one famous for its brothels, with no job prospects, and with nothing to spend, and they learn that it’s okay to party in the streets on some occasions, well…obviously, they’re not going to patronize a legal brothel and cough up so many of the precious euros they need for food and housing, and to support their families who are still coming. No, they’re just gonna grab what they can, while they can. After all, it’s legal behind closed doors! And it’s New Year’s Eve, and everyone else is drinking. Woohoo!

And the cops aren’t going to be looking out for that, but for terrorists that didn’t show up. Because the German cops are just as sexist as any Middle Eastern refugee, and because they’re probably more than a little racist in terms of who they expect to be perpetrating what kind of violence, and because they, too, think this sort of thing is normal, to be expected when everyone’s partying, and nothing to be worried about. Not like, say, a suitcase bomb going off in a train or anything.

After all, most of them are not women, and will never know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of sexual terror in their own lives.

In the meantime, German women might want to draw inspiration and fighting tips from their Moroccan sister, here:

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Compare and Contrast: Militant atheism vs. militant Islamism

ethical-killers

Really not a dime’s worth of difference between them, is there?

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It’s Yeehawd, y’all (-Qaida)!

Oh, those Taiwanese joke animators. They are sure quick off the mark, aren’t they? And right on point, too.

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Quotable: Carrie Fisher on “aging well”

carrie-fisher-on-aging

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Music for a Sunday: Born for drivin’ steel

Can you hoist a jack?
Can you lay a track?
Can you pick and shovel too?

Hey, Mr. Steam Drill, how are you?

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Wankers of the Week: Year-End Yahoos

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Crappy New Year, everyone! Well, that was the ass end of the year that was, and I’m not a bit sorry to be kicking this crap to the curb. 2015 sucked hard, and the people listed here are just a small part of why. This list is gonna be a bit short, but not sweet, so let’s get right to it, shall we?

1. Ethan Fucking Couch. Well, look what the gato dragged in…and just in time for the tail end of the holidays! Yes, Affluenza Boy has been busted…in Mexico. And in disguise. It still couldn’t hide his weaselly eyes, though. Better luck next time, Ethan…if there’s a next time. Ha, ha.

2. Dustin Fucking Hill. And speaking of weasels, how about this guy’s take on racism? Yeah, man, let’s all do a buttload of hallucinogens, that’ll fix it. And the Middle Passage, and the slave and Jim Crow eras, not to mention all the racism still going strong to this very day? Pssssh, just a fantasy. Never happened. Samesies for sexism. Brilliant!

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3. David Fucking Cameron. Ol’ Pigfucker has a lot to answer for…and playing American Pie with headcheese is the least of it. Much less sensational, but more disturbing and insidious, is his decision to award a knighthood to that OTHER pigfucker…Lynton Fucking Crosby, the Blunder from Down Under. And the one whose lack of compunctions about using racist dogwhistles helped our nonhero to “win” his race while helping our own pigfucker, Stephen Fucking Harper, to LOSE his. “Sir Pigfucker” has quite the ring to it, indeed.

4. Mark Fucking Salling. Oh hey, some actor got caught with a buttload of child sex abuse photos on his computer. No biggie. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.

5. Scott Fucking Allen. Shorter: Follow the Prince of Peace, or be destroyed! Uh, dude…you do realize how contradictory you sound, do you not? Especially since the real Jesus, if he existed, would probably vomit all over your voting record.

6. Fucking Reddit. Why?

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Seriously, fuck Reddit. It’s Troll Central, and has been for too long already.

7. Melissa Fucking Klein. No, dear, that was not “God’s money”. God doesn’t deal in cash. It’s called rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, you ignorant little shit. Read your fucking bible for once! And while you’re at it, how about you and your hipster hubby also taking to heart the bit about turning the other fucking cheek?

8. Donald Fucking Trump. That’s right, Donnie, deflect all discussion from your own extensive history of woman-abuse by babbling about Bill Clinton. Never mind that he’s not even in the running as a precandidate this time around. Yeah, that’ll work! Meanwhile, here comes a blast from your past, about to bite your ass. PS: Smooth move, Ex-Lax! Enjoy your new job as a terrorist recruiter! It’s the only position you’ll be hired for this year. Ha, ha.

9. Rick Fucking Santorum. Never mind that the DOMA was ruled unconstitutional in 2013. Icky Ricky Buttsploodge swears he’ll enforce it if he’s elected president. That’s a pretty big IF, right there. As is overturning Roe v. Wade for a so-called “personhood” amendment, which will also never pass.

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10. Sabrina Fucking Lowe. Oh, look who has a firm grip on God’s ear. Another of Her botherers, one who thinks that she has the power to make the Big Lady Upstairs divert a tornado! Listen, honey: If you can do THAT, why not just ask God to stop ALL tornadoes, altogether? Too logical for ya?

11. Ziony Fucking Zevit. Is that even a real name? Oh, who cares. I’m just glad the whole Adam and Eve story is in fact a myth, because if Eve WAS created from Adam’s penis, that would mean he couldn’t have begotten the human race with her.

12. Jerry Fucking Lewis. Nice to know that Syrian refugees don’t even count as human to some people. Aaaaand THAT is why we have Syrian refugees: Because somebody, somewhere, didn’t think they were human and deserving of a home safe enough to live in.

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13. Jonathan Fucking Stickland. Would it surprise you greatly to know that a teabagger was too stupid to figure out how to grow his own pot, once upon a time? And that he gave an easily traceable AOL address out on a pot website, too? No? Oh good, because this guy is THAT guy. And good news, he’s not totally reformed. He still thinks rape jokes are funny! Which ought to be as good a clue as any that he’s still smoking dope. There is just no other way that kind of joke would not suck otherwise.

14. Brad Fucking Schultz. Well, let’s hear it for his former workplace; they fired him when a racist turd he left on Black Lives Matter’s Facebook page came to their attention. The wonder is that it’s taken that much to expose him. But in a world where white guys so often get away with murder, it’s a minor miracle.

15. Jeffrey Fucking Feulner. Would it suprise you greatly to learn that a “Men’s Rights” lawyer, kinda-sorta famous for helping divorcing men to screw their estranged and soon-to-be-ex-spouses out of a fair settlement, is getting divorced himself? And that the grounds for it is spousal abuse — the latest incident coming just three days before HIS estranged wife filed the papers? NO? Well, all righty then!

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16. Marco Fucking Rubio. Would it surprise you greatly to learn that he threw his weight around to help his no-good brother-in-law get a real-estate licence? NO? Well, all righty then! PS: Yes, you SHOULD be kicked out of Congress. You do-nothing motherfucking idiot!

17. Katrina Fucking Pierson. Would it surprise you greatly to learn that she is quite possibly even more loopy than her boss, Der Donald? And that she’s also a convicted fraud and shoplifter? AND a conspiracy tinfoiler, too? NO? Well. All RIGHTY then!

18 and 19. Josh Fucking Moore and Al Fucking Baldasaro. So, women breastfeeding in public is a perfectly natural excuse for men to stare at their boobs and grope them? Talk about missing the fucking memo. And also, talk about a fucking pervert looking for excuses to do just that. Ugh. And oh dear Bog, the atrocious grammar and spelling. What is it with these pathetic halfwits who keep getting elected under the Repugnican banner, anyway? Can’t the party scare up a candidate with an at least room-temperature IQ?

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20. Noe Fucking Juárez. Talk about your fiendishly brilliant plans: Mexican drug cartellier goes undercover as a Texas Cop of the Year! And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids and their hidden videocams.

21. Recep Tayyip Fucking Erdogan. When you find yourself citing Nazi Germany as a positive example — and not the bit about the nice convenient Autobahnen, but the part about Hitler’s own arrogation of unconstitutional, excess powers — stop. Just fucking STOP. You’re no longer a president, you’re a dictator. And your head belongs on a pikestaff.

22. Dalia Fucking Fenig. See above, and add book censorship and idiotic Israeli notions of “racial purity”. Newsflash: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RACIAL PURITY. THERE IS ONLY ONE RACE, AND IT IS HUMAN. And if you’re discriminating against other members of it on grounds of color, nationality, language or religion, you too just might be a Nazi.

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23. Bibi Fucking Netanyahu. And speaking of reasons to boycott Israel, how about him? Yes, kiddies, that’s right…the most overlooked scandal of last year is about to become the most criticized of THIS year. And about bloody time, too. Bribing US senators for their support of your apartheid state? That is a major crime, as well as a major wank. Cry CORRUPTION! and let slip the dogs of crapaganda…

24. Joseph Fucking Nestor Fucking Mondello. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how brutal and stupid you have to be to think that holding a computer techie at gunpoint actually accomplishes anything, other than making the poor guy think (and quite rightly) that you’ve lost your fucking marbles. Christ, dude — hold your shit together and just wait for them to get the right parts and finish the job. And put the damn gun away, already.

25. Bill Fucking Cosby. Because nothing says contrition and remorse like thanking your fans for essentially being your rape-culture apologists. I can’t wait for the real perpwalk, can you?

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And finally, to these stupid fucking white men. They keep spoiling for a confrontation with the gummint? They’re going to get one, and it won’t be pretty. Remember Waco? Yeah. Something like that. And it can’t happen soon enough. Let’s hope they all get dragged out alive, though, sometime in this coming year. Because being taken alive to the federal pen is far more ignominious than just going up in a puff of totally unnecessary smoke…and the air is already plenty polluted by other shit-stupid white guys, thankyouverymuch.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Posted in Wankers of the Week | Leave a comment

Welcome to my rabbit-hole…

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Well. So this is happening, on the brink of a whole new year. Your humble author lady is now published in a print-on-demand anthology from Silver Birch Press, a tribute to Alice in Wonderland. Here are the links for where you can buy it:

Black and white, US version

Black and white, UK version

Color, US version

Color, UK version

Thanks for your support. Enjoy!

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Posted in A Bit of a Brag..., Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff, Writer Lady Sings the Blues | 2 Comments

Quotable: Doris Lessing on doing

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Posted in Quotable Notables, Uppity Wimmin | Comments Off on Quotable: Doris Lessing on doing