Why is Stephen Harper having so much trouble with the name of one of his own party’s female candidates?
Because it sounds too much like the name of another woman with ties to his party…one that he’d much prefer to forget.
Why is Stephen Harper having so much trouble with the name of one of his own party’s female candidates?
Because it sounds too much like the name of another woman with ties to his party…one that he’d much prefer to forget.
Adam Ant positively slams The Doors…
…into orbit, with a brilliant brass section that makes this speeded-up cover as shiny and sleek as can be.
Jim Morrison would most definitely approve.

Yes, kiddies, that’s right. No weekly wankapedia this week, because my bloody fucking blogware decided to kack out right as I was putting the final touches on a full 30-entry bucket-o-bile. Unfortunately, the last previous draft I’d saved was less than half the length, and I didn’t consider it worth trying to resurrect or remember who I listed; I’m stressed enough as it is.
I’ve been having trouble with WordPress for a couple of weeks now, so this was not totally out of the blue; the scheduling function is also acting up, and I have no idea when the powers that be are going to fix the mess they’ve made. So tonight, the only one getting fucked is me. And I’m not enjoying it.
Good night, and wish me better luck for next time. I’m gonna fucking need it.
Chavecito’s been a very, very busy boy lately; I’m dizzy just from trying to follow him. But here we go! First up, a little video from Cochabamba, Bolivia:
Lotsa ‘Cito, lotsa Evo, lotsa unity, international co-operation, and other good constructive stuff the lamestream anglo whore media won’t show you. There’s even more if you click through.
And from Uruguay yesterday, there’s this:
Lotsa ‘Cito, lotsa Pepe Mujica, lotsa lotsa. Again, good stuff your lamestream media will never mention. Note how the Uruguayans cheer him like a soccer star. This is no coincidence–they know an ass-kicker when they see one. Uruguay, too, is on the up-and-up with Venezuela’s co-operation and friendship.
And from Argentina, another little something:
Lotsa ‘Cito, lotsa Cristina, lotsa trade agreements, the Rodolfo Walsh prize for journalistic support, and lots of other good stuff your lamestream whore media will only bend out of shape, you know the drill.
Chavecito WAS supposed to be in Colombia today, meeting Juan Manuel Santos, but the presidential plane (which has sure seen a lot of action lately!) broke down and will be needing repairs. That visit is postponed until the 9th. When it happens, you can bet there’ll be lotsa, lotsa more hand-shaking, hugging and other nice stuff your lamestream whore media would never dream of reporting because it totally demolishes the myth of the evil, isolated dictator they desperately want you to believe in.
Police in the Baden-Württemburg city of Tuttlingen responded Tuesday to growing online chatter among teenagers that they could become intoxicated using the vodka tampons without having alcohol on their breath.
This is not true, police said, denying that it was an effective way to get drunk. They also warned girls that the alcohol could damage vaginal walls and increase the risk of infection. Boys have reportedly also been using tampons anally.
“I believe this is very dangerous,” head of a children’s clinic in Singen told southern German paper Südkurier last week. “For us this is a new thing.”
In early March a 14-year-old girl collapsed during a street festival in Konstanz, apparently highly intoxicated from using a vodka tampon, the paper reported.
Youth researchers have since found out that this form of alcohol abuse is trendy in the region.
But teens who believe they can hide the smell of alcohol consumption are wrong, experts told the paper.
They’re not kidding. The smell of alcohol seeps out through your pores. There is NO way to conceal it, and this just sounds like a terrific way to end up with inflamed mucous membranes.
Not to mention a hangover up the wazoo!
Funny you should ask! He’s there to sign trade treaties:
…and be guest of honor at a luncheon, where president Cristina Fernández gave this very moving, emotional toast in thanks for Venezuela’s help in getting Argentina through its economic crisis of a decade ago:
And yes, for her this is very personal; her late husband, Néstor Kirchner, was president of Argentina then. More than half the country was below the poverty line in the wake of the great sovereign debt default, and many were starving. The situation was dire for Kirchner, who was just newly elected–narrowly edging out Carlos Menem, whose policies were largely to blame for Argentina’s crisis in the first place. Kirchner was widely expected to continue in the Menem vein because he had no other apparent choice, but he was too smart for that. He called on Chavecito for help, and Chavecito came through. The IMF is no longer breathing down Argentina’s neck because Chavecito helped Néstor Kirchner kick ’em to the curb. (And if the grateful comments on Cristina’s Facebook page are anything to go by, droves of Argentines happily credit him with changing their lives for the better.)
Oh yeah, and the ‘Cito is also in country to pick up a prize…for supporting popular journalism, no less:
The president of Venezuela, Hugo Chávez, will receive an award on Tuesday from the faculty of journalism of the University of La Plata for his “support for popular communication”, according to academic sources on Saturday.
Chávez will be at the university to receive the Rodolfo Walsh Prize for Latin American presidents supporting popular communication, as part of a visit to Argentina to meet with his counterpart Cristina Fernández, according to the dean of the faculty, Florencia Saintout.
“We clearly believe that in Venezuela there is freedom of the press and we will present the award to the president in recognition of his support for popular media,” said the dean in an interview with Radio Diez in Buenos Aires.
“The Rodolfo Walsh prizes are awarded to those in Argentina and Latin America who support popular communication, democracy and the freedom of the peoples,” states a press release from the university.
For this reason, the Venezuelan leader will receive the honor “for having demonstrated his unquestionable and genuine dedication toward the liberty of the peoples, consolidating Latin American unity, defending human rights, and being in accordance with the truth and democratic values,” according to the faculty.
“For us it’s been a great joy to know that Chávez will come to receive the award, but also so he can talk and discuss with the students,” said the dean, who has also awarded the same prize in 2008 to the president of Bolivia, Evo Morales.
Translation mine.
I thought I’d better give you that because the anglo whore media will probably be giving you the business about how Venezuela is fast turning into North Korea, and how there’s zero journalistic freedom and reporters are being jailed and killed for not marching in lockstep with government demands, or some such codswallop. (Speaking of cod and walloping, will someone please take that fish and whack the Financial Times? Their presstitution stinks of cheap cologne. Can’t believe they want us to register just to see that drivel.)
(Oh yeah, and the Dissociated Press came through, too, with the predictable bucket of snot. Thanks, Nolan, for sending me that.)
And if you wonder why the prize is named for Rodolfo Walsh, and why Chavecito of all people was chosen to receive it, read up on him. Any Argentine who lived through the military dictatorship of the late ’70s and early ’80s could tell you that it’s quite fitting that Chavecito receive a prize named for a fellow leftist freedom-fighter. There was a huge crackdown on press freedom in Argentina then. Even foreign pop music wasn’t kosher, presumably because of the salacious and subversive thoughts it might foster. And the presstitutes of the commercial media there were more than happy to comply and self-censor accordingly, painting the ultra-capitalist “National Reorganization Process” as salvation instead of the ruin it was. It was up to brave individuals like Rodolfo Walsh to stand up to that and tell the truth–and in Walsh’s case, die for it.
Chavecito himself was jailed for standing up to a dictator who was never called that–the late Carlos Andrés Pérez, who toadied to the IMF just as the Argentine junta had, and who tyrannized and killed his fellow Venezuelans to enforce IMF policy, until his impeachment in 1993–and who even called for a dictatorship to replace Chavecito! In fact, just three days ago, Venezuela celebrated the 17th anniversary of Chavecito’s exit from Yare Prison, which was such a momentous occasion that the media were there to catch it all on tape:
Check out those crowds. Clearly this was no common criminal being pardoned and let go. In fact, no criminal at all in the eyes of his people. That’s right, the ex-military “putschist” that your friendly media whores and presstitutes have told you is a dictator…is in fact a popular hero. That’s why he swept the elections just four years later, and has been doing so ever since.
And his support for alternative, independent and community media is strong because he knows all too well how corrupt the corporate media are, and how far from truly independent. The people of Venezuela need voices that no conventional corporation is going to give them. The major media censored much of the news about him during his imprisonment, and did so quite happily because they and the now defunct AD/COPEI duopoly of Venezuela were the coziest of cronies. The big media chains don’t need his support, they have their corporate owners and sponsors, and their discredited buddies in what’s left of the old parties. And they are still free to print and broadcast whatever lies they want, and you are still free to believe them.
But if you’re as smart and as independent as you think you are, you’d do better to learn to look beyond them, as I have. And to look at the real situation in Venezuela, Argentina, indeed all of Latin America…which is changing for the better thanks to leaders like Cristina and him.
¡Viva Cristina, viva Chávez, viva Latinoamérica LIBRE!
It was up on Craigslist for a few short moments today. And boy, is it a thing of beauty. Behold:
It reads as follows; spelling and punctuation errors as in original:
Writers needed to post Right-wing Comments to social media and news outlets.
We are a social media company working for a political organization, hired to help balance the left-wing bias of the major media outlets by supplying a team of writers who will post to newspaper comments, media forums, FB pages, etc. We are NOT officially afiliated with Harper campaign
You writing must be strong, right-wing and use supplied talking points without bogging down in too much detail. You are creating an online persona with a consistent tone. Ideally you can find or make up facts and statistics to stir controversy. Where suited humour, sarcasm and personal insults are welcome.
You are a news junky who is able to log on to news forums, facebook pages several times a day. You are able to write comments tailored to new topics while always repeating key talking points.
Compensation: TBD. hourly rate and volume of online activity. Bonuses for controversial postings that heat up a topic or forum thread.
How to apply: We are more interested in your writing than your resume. To apply submit a 100 word post based on the headline “Ignatieff Promises No Coalition after Election” Show us that you can write from a right wing character voice, score points, stir outrage and use humour.
Be sure to include your name, email and cell number so we can contact you.
Sorry, only candidates who submit the best test post submissions will be contacted for an interview.
*Location: National
*Compensation: TBD, hourly rate and volume of online activity. Bonuses for controversial postings that heat up a topic or forum thread.
*This is a part-time job.
*Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
*Please, no phone calls about this job!
*Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.PostingID: 2291333753
It was posted at 1:03 pm, Pacific time…and removed less than an hour later. Gee, I wonder why.
Professional trolling: Nothing new for conservatives, and certainly not in forums. I know ’em by the smell alone. So if you see anyone in a newspaper forum dissing the other candidates in our coming national election, now you know. Eh?
And please, don’t hesitate to point the finger at anyone who makes shit up and spouts Tory talking points. Call ’em out for their trolling, folks. They’re paid to do it, they may as well get a run for their money.
Look out below! The “humanitarian” bombs and missiles are raining on Libya; freedom is on the march again! And what’s that smell? The stench of death? Napalm in the morning? “Depleted” uranium burning a hole in someone’s gonads? Oh, I know…it’s the wonderful waft of warfare. And wanking. And here’s who’s been firing the toxic jizzum on all cylinders this week:
1. Bobby Fucking Franklin. Yes, the stupidest man in in the state of Georgia really went there this week, comparing abortion rights to…drumroll please…Moammar Gaddafi! Hmmm, what shall I compare him to…oh, I know…drumroll please…A PILE OF FUCKING TURDS!!! But y’know what? Even a pile of fucking turds can be right once in a while. This guy has yet to beat that track record. The US has more than its share of the most delusional people in the world, and he is the perfect example of one.
2. David Fucking Prosser. Doesn’t calling your fellow judge a bitch qualify as contempt of court? How about threatening to bomb her from the air, like Libya? Given this one’s lengthy history of bizarre anti-woman (and anti-child, in the case of kids molested by priests) statements, I’d say this one doesn’t deserve to be called “Your Honor”. Off the bench with him!
3. Scott Fucking Feschuk. What’s the difference between an escort and a hooker? Pay grade, pay grade, pay grade. What’s the difference between a prostitute of any pay grade, and this Maclean’s scribbler? Class, class, class!
4. Brent Fucking Girouex. Well, I’ll give this homophobic kiddie-diddler credit for one thing: Sodomizing the gay out of teenage boys is a more novel “cure” than trying to pray it out of a grown man, any day.
5. Mike Fucking Pence. This one’s right up there with Wanker #1 for bizarre anti-choice antics. Yeah, let’s just let poor women (and children) die, as long as they don’t “kill their babies”!
6. Roger Fucking Noriega. No, there is NOT a “Chávez terror network” on your goddamn doorstep. There is a get-your-head-outta-your-fucking-ass network here, ready to kick your exposed buttocks until something shakes loose. Nice job referencing Claire Sterling–her discredited book is based on black propaganda campaigns seeded by the CIA for whom you yourself undoubtedly work. Just slap an “Islamist” face on the imaginary commie terrorists, move the headquarters of the imaginary terror network from Moscow to Tehran, and presto! Instant crapaganda, just add slaughter. PS: Nice use of an imaginary “Venezuelan government source”, too.
7. Don Fucking Young. Looks like Sarah Fucking Palin is not the only Alaskan politician in a tango with fascist separatist movements. This one went so far as to declare his treason openly. Impeach the fucker!
8. Donald Fucking Trump. He got into bed quite willingly with Gaddafi; now he claims he “screwed” him? I didn’t think he swung that way. I was convinced he’d do anything–and anyone–for money!
9. John Fucking Lott. The “academic” father of US gun nuttery is now so intellectually bankrupt, he has to go running to Andrew Fucking Breitbart’s Big Fucking Lie site for currency to spend, because no one else will give him the time of day. Tee hee hee.
10. John Fucking McCain. War really IS peace to some people. How else to explain how a costly rain of missiles and death upon Libya could actually “save” them from a “horrible bloodbath”? (Incidentally, this hefty hunk of Teh Stoopid should serve to remind those who think a wingnut would have done better in the White House that no, a wingnut would not.)
11. The Fucking Harper Government. Yes, THAT Harper Government! Contempt of Parliament, you say? Why, I had no ide…ha…haha…hahahahahahahahaha! Ahem…sober up, Bina, don’t laugh like that, they’ll think you’re hysterical. Well, it’s not as if we don’t have anything to get hysterical about here, is it? Harpo is out in front of the cameras, pretending he’s not really electioneering when everyone and their dog knows he is, attacking the opposition about coalitions while joining the latest US-led Coalition of the Killing, preaching about the need to spread freedom and democracy all over the world while suppressing, denying and undermining it right here at home. Pardon me while I take the flag off my backpack and the maple leaf off my lapel. Until we’re out of Libya and Harpo’s out of office, I’m not gonna be proud of my country anymore.
12. Jennifer Fucking Griffin. About the only good thing that can be said about this FUX Snoozer is that finally, FINALLY, the Chicken Noodle Network has twigged to the fact that FUX Snooze, its journalistic role model of the last decade or so, LIES! And all it took was one little (unretracted) piece of bullshit about reporters being used as human shields in Libya. FUCK!
13. Randy Fucking Hopper, again. The corruption and hypocrisy and sleaze of this Wisconsin teabag just keep on getting corrupter, hypocritical-er, and sleazier. Now word is that his much younger mistress has been hired (without even having had to apply!) at $11,000 a year more than the last person to hold the (state) job. Considering that he was supposedly elected to “hold down taxes and spending”, I can’t wait to hear how he justifies that.
14. Ted Fucking Nugent. Dudes who can’t string together a coherent song should not be writing editorials for even a high-school newspaper, but trust the Washington Moonie Times not to fucking know that. After all, they are inferior to even the worst high-school rag in the world. PS to Sun Myung Moon: Is racism acceptable to you so long as it’s directed only at Africans and persons of African ancestry? Inquiring minds, etc.
15. Silvano Fucking Tomasi. Oh boo fucking hoo, the Vatican’s homophobia is not being tolerated anymore! Intolerance of intolerance is intolerable! Where is my tiny fiddle? Must have been stolen by one of the mariachi cucarachas again. BTW, isn’t it rich how an apologist for the world’s biggest pedophile closet considers homosexuality to be on a level with…drumroll please…PEDOPHILIA? And how hilarious is it to insist that “states must regulate sexual behavior” when the Vatican routinely sweeps its own homos and pedos under the rug? How hollow does a plea for the “human right” to be a homophobe ring after all that, eh?
16. Rush Fucking Limbaugh. The Pigman thinks Libya isn’t an oil war? It is for Europe. I guess he’s resentful that the cheese-eating French are getting first dibs on all that light, sweet Libyan crude. PS to Piggy: Da Donald’s birther spoutings aren’t a “service”, they’re a STUPIDITY.
17. Giorgio Fucking Mammoliti. The failed former mayoral candidate wants Toronto to have a red-light district…on the Islands. Where families live, and where the crime rate is low. The rationale: “They have a nude beach at Hanlan’s Point.” As though nudity just naturally had to lead to sex? What kind of logic is that?
18. and 19. Sharron Fucking Angle and Christine O’Fucking Donnell. Add two more teabags to the lists of the senseless tree-killers. Yes, that’s right…they both have books coming out. Oh joy, oh bliss.
20. Jim Fucking DeMint. His motto may as well be “Die, die for the sake of my ideology”, because that’s what his actions boil down to. The stupid part is, he’s wasting money in the name of “saving” it. As for human life, if you’re not a fetus, he doesn’t want to hear from you. Nice senator you got there, South Carolina.
21. James O’Fucking Keefe. So…now he’s in deep debt, as well as deep doo-doo? Looks good on him. You know your “documentaries” have no credibility when you can’t finance them any other way than to first max out your credit cards, then go begging for “donations” to “defray the expense” while whining all the way about being held back by big corrupt everybody! Legitimate filmmakers generally manage to finance their operations without going to such embarrassing lengths.
22. Carlos Fucking Lam. False flag operations: they’re not just for foreign wars anymore. The US’s war against its own working people also benefits mightily from them…or would do so, were their perpetrators not exposed, as this one now is. The fucker was dumb enough to actually use the words “false flag”, too.
23. Ian Fucking Gillespie. Naturally he works for Sunmedia…one of Canada’s most ignorant, and ignorance-boosting, corporate news chains. His influence is small, but I swear I felt my IQ drop ten points just reading that piece of fucking drivel I just linked. If you also feel like you’ve just caught Teh Stoopid, don’t blame your water…blame him.
And finally, to all those on the so-called left who fell for that stupid “Hugo Chávez thinks capitalism killed life on Mars” story that Reuters ginned up. I expect the right to fall for this kind of shit because they are just so fucking dumb anyway, but those of you who should know better and yet don’t? You are just plain contemptible. Can’t you be bothered to do any homework at all? Did you all flunk Spanish in high school, or did you just never learn it? Has it never occurred to you to question the very nature of your “independent” corporate media? Reuters, which has a track record for bad reporting on Venezuela as is, had to devote three fucking space cadets to one pitiful non-story about an offhand remark which was not even made in earnest. The main author is one Eyanir Fucking Chinea, who has also emitted such journalistic gems as this highly questionable one on murder stats in Venezuela, asserting that the murder rate has “quadrupled” under Chávez. Or how about this other opus, taking up the cause for the oppos without even a blush? Or how about this fine little turdnugget which just came out today, about Guillermo Zuloaga, who is wanted not for his opposing views, but for disseminating putschist crapaganda? You don’t suppose there’s a political agenda in that, do you? Especially with Chavecito’s approval rating, and his electoral support, both riding high going into next year’s federal election in Venezuela? Did you even have the faintest clue that his opponents are all either blatantly crooked or total fucking buffoons, or both? Did you even know that the “student hunger strike” your media have been wringing their hands over involved precious little actual hunger–and a great deal of cheating, caught on camera? Nahhhh, of course you didn’t. Reuters would never tell you that; they just report on all those silly people as if they were serious, and they do it with a straight face, while blatantly misrepresenting the real words of an undeniably smart, sane, effective leader. They really don’t have the right to call themselves a news agency anymore, since what they’re dealing in is not news but pro-corporatist crapaganda.
But you don’t care about that, right? Venezuela is just some third-world country with a dictator as far as you’re concerned, and you’re already prepared to cheerlead Barack Obama’s next war, right down there, because you, a Serious Person, seriously believe Chavecito really said that and meant it. Oh hell, the jokes even write themselves, saving your lazy little “liberal” mind so much strain and effort! So why bother doing any homework? Obey your corporate overlords, and forget that another world is not only possible, it is necessary–and Latin America is making it happen without you.
Good night, and get fucked!
This past Wednesday was Sea Day in Bolivia–the day the country commemorates the loss of its seacoast to Chile during the War of the Pacific. That’s why landlocked Bolivia still has a navy, even though currently it only patrols Bolivia’s major rivers, and Lake Titicaca (which borders on Peru). But what is gone is not forgotten, and Evo makes an especially strong point of raising the flag to it:
Until recently, it looked as though Evo might actually get sea rights through Chile; he was in talks with Michelle Bachelet and things looked good. Now Sebastián Piñera is in the Moneda Palace, and he’s being a dick about it. But Evo being Evo, he’ll probably wear him down in due course, with sheer dignity and persistence.
Sail on, Evo!