News of the Restless

Evo’s inaugurator arrested for drug possession in El Alto

Posted on July 29, 2010 by Sabina Becker

Aymara spiritual leader Valentín Mejillones, doing what he normally does best.

Oh dear. Panorama reports a story that will have a lot of faces red in La Paz:

The Aymara priest who four years ago blessed and handed over an indigenous ceremonial staff of office to the president of Bolivia, Evo Morales, thus winning international fame, was arrested for possession of 240 kilograms of cocaine, according to police on Thursday.
The detention of the “amauta”, or Andean wise man, Valentín Mejillones, along with his son and a Colombian couple, took place on Tuesday, said the director of the Bolivian Special Force Against Narcotrafficking (FELCN), Colonel Félix Molina.
Vice-president Alvaro García said that there would be no official protection for Mejillones, who, according to him, had not been chosen by Morales himself for the indigenous inauguation ceremony, but by “the internal organizing structure of the Andean religious community”.
The anti-drug director said that the cocaine confiscated from the amauta’s house in El Alto was in liquid form, and is valued at over $240,000 US on the Bolivian market.
He also said that in Mejillones’ home there was a cocaine-purification laboratory “with Colombian technology”, but the amauta claimed he had been “tricked” by the Colombians.
“I had nothing to do with it, I did them a favor as a human being, they told me they would make herbal pills and creams,” said the amauta, according to the local news agency Fides.

Translation mine.

The Achacachi Post, reporting in English, puts the total drug haul (and its street value in Bolivia) a bit higher, at 350 kg and over $300,000 US. It’s hard to say precisely how much coke was in the house if it’s still in liquid form; a chemist might be able to give an approximate figure, based on the concentration of the solution, but until the powder is precipitated out, the amount can vary.

Still, great job on the part of the Bolivian FELCN catching such a large haul; before Evo and his reforms, it’s unlikely that the local police, working with the DEA, would have had nearly such a great success. The DEA is the worst drug-smuggler there is, after the CIA.

I suspect that the Colombian couple, unnamed in the Panorama piece I translated, will indeed prove to be ringleaders; I hope Mejillones is telling the truth when he claims he was deceived. It would be a dreadful thing for the Aymara, who are justly proud of Evo and his leadership, if things turned out otherwise.

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Posted in All About Evo, El NarcoPresidente, Isn't That Illegal? | 4 Comments

Short ‘n’ Stubby: Dude, where are my criminal charges?

Posted on July 29, 2010 by Sabina Becker

Hidey-ho, folks, it’s another G-20 roundup for ya. And here comes Ms. Manx with all the linkies you should clicky…

First up, the Toronto Star‘s Carol Goar draws up a score sheet for what’s been done and what’s still doing. Surprise: So far, not a single person arrested has actually had criminal charges laid that stuck. One month later, and it’s Protesters 1, Cops 0. Goar’s moment of untruth: “Peaceful advocacy groups tarnished their reputation by knowingly providing cover to protestors bent on violence.” Carol, shame on you–the cops were not a peaceful advocacy group! I seem to recall at least one video where the peaceful advocacy groups were chastising the vandals. Is that what you call “knowingly providing cover”?

The Star and the Globe are both reporting that environmentalist Dave Vasey, one of the more prominent arrestees (he was singled out early on as a “leader”), has gone to court, only to find the charges against him not even on the docket. Maybe because the “five-metre rule” he was charged under was bogus? Or maybe just because the cops had nothing on him, and they knew it. Their purpose in making the arrest was not to lay charges, but strictly to intimidate Vasey and others (whom they presumed to be his “followers”, no doubt), and thus curtail protest. As always, the operative question to be asked in cases like this is Cui bono?–for whose benefit?

That question is certainly topmost in my mind when it comes to this case, of a young Muslim woman being forcibly stripped of her headscarf and sweater. Violation of modesty is a specifically intimidating move when the victim is a Muslim. Was this violation of her person done to discourage her from protesting? It sure smells that way.

And you know things have come to a bad pass when a distinguished scientist and former holocaust survivor like Ursula Franklin looks at the G-20 fiasco and draws inescapable parallels to the fascist ordeal of her youth.

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Posted in Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind, Canadian Counterpunch, Crapagandarati, Do As I Say..., Environmentally Ill, Fascism Without Swastikas, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Law-Law Land | Comments Off

Happy Birthday, Chavecito…here’s the oppos’ present to you!

Posted on July 28, 2010 by Sabina Becker

“The tongue as temple of pleasure”. I shit you not, that’s what the headline says. Do you want to read the whole thing, in Spanish? Or shall I just spare you that unsafe-for-work stuff?

Yes, it’s Chavecito’s birthday today, and the laughs and hate from the oppo whore media just keep on rolling, no matter what day it is. From Venezuelan prog-blogger Okrim, who dug the above jewel out a few days ago, I bring you…convulsions:

The obsession many opponents have with President Chávez is endlessly amazing. If you comment on anything to do with international politics, they compare this event with Chávez, even a suicide attack in a country where the average escuálido has never heard anything from before (such as one in eastern Germany). If you talk about how bad the weather is, they think of Chávez, and how “bad” the entire country is. If you talk about your last vacation, they say they didn’t enjoy theirs because of Chávez (even if they just got back from a Mediterranean cruise). But I confess I’ve never found such a twisted example of obsession than the one I’m about to share with you.
On the ground floor of my apartment building, I found several pages of El Nacional the other day, and idly picked one up to read it. The article was about sex, particularly cunnilingus, that is, oral sex performed on a woman. I read it unawares, thinking–oh, in vain–that I would find none of the classic dissociated editorial line of Miguel Henrique Otero. I was wrong. After a series of explanations of the sexual practice in question, in which the use of the tongue is indispensable, I found the following pearl of wisdom:

“True, there are those who use their tongues to insult, and talk a mile a minute in cadenas [televised presidential speeches, required by Venezuelan law to be broadcast on all channels] but the most privileged know that the tongue represents […] an infallible instrument to offer and achieve pleasure.”

WTF? What level of dissociated obsession must a person have when talking about sex in the context of televised speeches by President Chávez? You can be sure that the most Chavista woman in the world isn’t thinking of Chávez when the topic of conversation is oral sex. So what strange psychological mechanism is at work in some opposition sexologist mentioning the president in an article on oral sex? Fixation? Obsession? Persecution mania? Common, garden-variety craziness? All of the above?
The strange thing is, this sort of conduct is common in many oppositionists in the most diverse circumstances. They live thinking of the President: on the way to work, at work, at lunch, on the way home, at home, alone, with family, on vacation, and probably–though it’s difficult to prove–even in a coma.
I understand them at the bottom of it all, poor bastards. If I thought about the President in each and every instant of my life, at all occasions and moments, in the face of any comment or situation, the way they do, I would surely hate him too.

Translated, in its entirety, by Your Humble One.

Yow. I know Chavecito is a sexy stud (and so do lots of other women, believe you me), and that his mouth is undoubtedly his handsomest (and most active) feature, but this obsession of his enemies with his tongue is just killingly funny. Even in bed, they just can’t get him out of their heads! What must their sex lives be like, I shudder to ask?

Okrim is right…I’m the most Chavista woman in my hometown, maybe in Canada, maybe even all of North America, and even I don’t think about it that way, at least not by daylight.* Most of the time, when I think about Chavecito’s mouth, I think what hilarious truths have come out of it. He has no qualms making fun of his enemies, or denouncing them either. And he does it with wit and comic flair, which is in itself very sexy. He’s not afraid to get a little goofy; that’s an appealing trait, and no doubt explains a lot of his common touch. He can get along with anyone, and he can make anyone laugh–except maybe those obsessive oppos, who all walk around looking like a chronic case of indigestion, and little wonder.

When I picture myself meeting him, I imagine we’d have a helluva good conversation, in which he ignores my stumbling Spanish and I politely correct his restaurant English (that’s what I call it when someone speaks just enough of a language to be able to order a meal.) And of course, I imagine laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. Laughter is a great icebreaker. And it’s also a great leveller. I certainly don’t think of him as a tyrant; actually, I think of him as someone you could have a beer with, unlike Dubya (who is a dry drunk, and in any case, if you don’t belong to his grandparents’ country club, you will never have so much as a glass of Coke with him.)

Yeah, I guess you could say that’s the secret of Chavecito’s sexiness right there. Women actually LIKE him, as a person, because he likes them–and everyone else, too, unless they give him solid reasons not to. Like, say, Dubya and that failed coup eight years ago, for example.

Liking and likability are two things the oppos don’t have much of, if they have them at all (I’ve never seen any evidence that they did); hence their constant exercising of the bile ducts. Even when the topic is tongue-sex technique, somehow they figure out a way to work their hateful obsession with a capable, likable leader in there! Clearly their mothers never taught them that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and gall. That’s why I doubt that even a clear, detailed explanation of how to go down on your lady is going to help them much. Either you have it, or you don’t, but you can’t pick it up from reading a trashy newspaper article. Technique is just no substitute for a certain je ne sais quoi, y’know?

So, Chavecito, happy birthday…I can’t give you anything more than my warmest greetings, but that’s okay. You already have everything you need anyway. And those who have too much of all the wrong things and too little of the good stuff, well…they’ll just go on eternally hating your guts for it.

Poor devils.

*I will confess to having had the odd naughty dream about him, though. And Rafael Correa and Evo, too, although not all in one go. I’m not that greedy!

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Morticia! You Spoke French!, Sick Frickin' Bastards, Stupid Sex Tricks, W is for Weak (and Stupid) | 2 Comments

Quotable: Howard Zinn on civil disobedience

Posted on July 28, 2010 by Sabina Becker

‎”Civil disobedience, that’s not our problem. Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.”

–Howard Zinn

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G-20 roundup: Slowly, the media are catching on…

Posted on July 27, 2010 by Sabina Becker

The Torygraph dutifully printed the above photo in 2009, but are the major media really getting the message? A few small items give me hope that a little of the truth IS finally starting to filter through:

The Toronto Star prints Dave Coles’s analysis of what “went wrong” at the Toronto summit. The union leader comes to the same conclusions as I’ve drawn on a number of occasions:

There is strong circumstantial evidence that, faced with a public relations defeat over the cost of the two summits, high-ranking members of the government and police orchestrated a clandestine security operation. The operation was orchestrated to inflame the public imagination against all protesters. Strategically, it was designed to justify what is still truly unjustifiable — $1 billion on security.
[…]
The dominant image emerging from the summit is of a black-clothed “protester” smashing windows, and an apocalyptic image of a burning police cruiser. Those images had their desired effect. Opinion polls now show most people support police actions, in light of the demonstrator violence.
What if the Saturday rampage was allowed to happen? These are serious questions, and need a public inquiry to answer them.
Look at the evidence. Police sources told the Toronto Sun that they were ordered to stand down, and let the rampage unfold on Saturday. Officers standing down throughout the streets of the downtown were vividly captured on video.
Video evidence shows a “demonstrator” trashing two Toronto police cars. He is wearing the same thick-soled boots as those of the police riot squads standing down, and watching, a block away. All the boots bear the same yellow logo. We unmasked three police agents provocateurs at Montebello by noticing that the trio were wearing the exact same military-issue boots as uniformed police. The old saw is: If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. This “demonstrator” looks like a cop, right up to his buzz cut. He has everything but an earpiece.

If that sounds a bit familiar, you’ve probably seen it here before. Dave Coles is one of the legitimate protesters (along with Maude Barlow and a number of actual anarchists) who unmasked the Montebello provocateurs in this prior entry of mine. And he’s also facing an uphill battle in the inquiry into that incident, according to the Montreal Gazette:

Lawyers for Quebec’s provincial police tried Monday to block a protester from participating at a police ethics commission investigation into the behaviour of three undercover officers at a 2007 demonstration.
Allowing third parties to intervene would add to the cost and make the process more complicated and inefficient, Andre Fiset told police ethics commissioner Richard Iuticone.
“Who knows how many days it would go on?”
Fiset and two other lawyers argued that Dave Coles, president of the Communications, Energy and Paperworkers Union of Canada, should not be given standing in the complaint against the three Surete du Quebec officers, who posed as protesters at the North American leaders’ summit in Montebello, Que.
Such designation would allow him to cross-examine and subpoena witnesses and submit evidence at the hearing against sergeants Jean-Francois Boucher, Joey Laflamme and Patrick Tremblay.

Well, at least now we know the names of the three burly phonies (one of whom had a rock in his hand, indicating an attempt at violent provocation) who couldn’t fool a real anarchist OR a real unionist.

Obviously, time is not the issue here, and neither is cost or complexity; the real issue is the use of police provocateurs, which is illegal in Canada, but apparently is not supposed to be an issue. That’s why the cops’ lawyers are not eager to have Dave Coles question their clients on the stand. They know the cops would lose.

As it stands, the “normal” process is sorely lacking in fairness and thoroughness both:

Coles later submitted a complaint to the police ethics committee, which was rejected, although the commissioner acknowledged that one or more of the sergeants verbally abused and shoved the man, repeatedly refused to identify themselves and refused to put down a rock when asked to do so. But the commissioner said that under the circumstances, the behaviour was justified.
Coles asked that the committee revise its decision, which it did, and ordered the same commissioner who rejected the original complaint to proceed against the three officers.
“This raises serious doubts about the commissioner’s ability to seek out evidence and conduct cross-examination that may show that his previous conclusions about the facts of this matter were ill-founded and wrong,” says the motion submitted by lawyer Mike Cohen, who is representing Coles.
“Any reasonable person would find this very bizarre,” he added Monday in an interview.
He says it “makes no sense” that the same commissioner who refused to cite the officers is now required to proceed against them. “We argue that there are provisions in the law for the committee to allow a third party to intervene.”

Obviously, the police can’t police themselves. And their commissioner didn’t want to; it took a protest from Dave Coles to get his decision reversed. And the law guarantees him standing–something the police ethics commission didn’t want to grant him. No doubt because it has much to hide. One wonders why–they themselves admitted shortly after the 2007 incident that yes, they HAD used infiltrators!

And yes, those infiltrators are the three burly men in the video, who are now named as violators of law. When the police break the law rather than upholding it, then use an ethics commission (conveniently, convened by themselves) to try to cover their own tracks, well…draw your own conclusions, gentle reader. I would humbly submit that they’ve just totally undermined their own authority as enforcers of the law, and that their credibility is shot to hell.

Meanwhile, on the actual anarchist front, Macleans has an almost-good (surprisingly so) piece on what they’re really like, and what they’re really about:

That commitment of purpose and the long-standing relationships belie a common view of the G20 demonstrators as hobbyists or kids out to smash some windows. Yet a glance at Canada’s increasingly militant left shows that, far from being driven by socially isolated ideologues or rampaging teens, it is composed of sturdy networks of committed, methodical people organized into “affinity groups”–small, intensely democratic collectives that reject words like “leader” and “organizer,” and insist that executive positions are transient if they exist at all. Such groups can move quickly and fluidly, both during mobilizations on staging grounds like the G20, and more routinely in their communities.

The first page of that piece (which is infinitely better than the second, where the hunt for an imaginary pathology begins) also highlights the fact that “squatter” activists actually took care of the va
cant building they occupied, which was not ruined until police broke a window and chucked a can of tear gas in. Once again, it begs the question: Who are the real villains here, the cops or the anarchists?

Finally, let’s hope Alex Hundert is right when he says the people are waking up. The first thing needed, always always ALWAYS, is a change of consciousness.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Cops Behaving Badly | Comments Off

Short ‘n’ Stubby: Ms. Manx has two new neighbors…

Posted on July 26, 2010 by Sabina Becker

…and she’d like you to pay them a visit, too, because she thinks you’ll like them:

Margarita del Norte

and

Orwell’s Bastard.

One’s from our far north, the other from the deep and sweaty south (Toronto.) Progressive voices from far and wide!

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Short 'n' Stubby | 1 Comment

Music for a Sunday: Who’s that yonder dressed in red?

Posted on July 25, 2010 by Sabina Becker

There are a lot of good versions of this song out there, but Eva Cassidy’s is my personal fave. That swinging organ and horn make for a dizzyingly perfect combination.

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A cracking good debate on burqa bans (and an article on Ground Zero mosques)

Posted on July 25, 2010 by Sabina Becker

Am I giving too much away when I say that the woman in the headscarf is full of win? Just one of many interesting ironies in this half-hour of must-see TV.

Another thing that occurred to me while watching this: Why do we have to go to an English-language program from a RUSSIAN channel to see such interesting, reasoned debate? Why is it that when we turn on a “news” show here, we don’t get to see nearly so much discussion, much less so intelligent? Yes, I’m glaring at FUX Snooze here, but I’m also glaring at the Chicken Noodle Network, and the all-news channels of CBC and CTV. They COULD have something like this going on, but they don’t. One wonders why.

One also wonders why one has to go to the written word to get something that the talk shows have missed about the the so-called “mosque at Ground Zero” (which is not, in fact, actually located at Ground Zero, or even within eyesight of it). But for once, the NYTimes comes through:

Just to show you how naïve I am: When I first heard about the plan to build a mosque and community center two blocks from the site of the 9/11 attacks, I didn’t envision any real opposition to it.
Sure, I can understand how some people traumatized by 9/11 — firefighters who survived it, or people whose loved ones didn’t — might not like the idea. But I’d have thought that opinion leaders of all ideological stripes could reach consensus by applying a basic rule of thumb: Just ask, “What would Osama bin Laden want?” and then do the opposite.
Bin Laden would love to be able to say that in America you can build a church or synagogue anywhere you want, but not a mosque. That fits perfectly with his recruiting pitch — that America has declared war on Islam. And bin Laden would thrill to the claim that a mosque near ground zero dishonors the victims of 9/11, because the unspoken premise is that the attacks really were, as he claims, a valid expression of Islam.

There then follows an astute attack on the Weekly Standard (or Weakly Substandard, as I prefer to call it–much more accurate) and two right-wing New York state candidates blatantly pandering to the scaredy-cat vote. It’s a fine kick to the goolies. Go read the whole thing. And ask yourself, as I do: Have we heard from any actual 9-11 survivors or relatives of the fatal victims condemning this planned mosque? Because so far, all I’ve heard of this nature are the Paliness and her Palinettes, all parroting the stupid contention that this edifice will be a “stab to the heart”. They do this, of course, from the safe distance of those who have never lived in New York, who were not there on that day, who are not struggling with lingering health problems as a result of inhaling the toxic dust and smoke of the World Trade Center, and who in any event don’t consider New York to be part of “the real America” because it’s not a vast stretch of sparsely inhabited land, like most of the so-called Red States. They forget that Muslims were among the victims that day, and no, not the ones hijacking the planes, either. (I have it on good authority that some of them, on their last days pre-martyrdom, spent time in sleazy bars, drinking and ogling the strippers. Not exactly the deeds of a devout, self-sacrificing Muslim.)

A great many groups lost someone to that terrorist act, and all of them have the right, in a real democracy, to places near the site where they can seek solace after their own fashion. To deny one group that right, just because 19 hijackers supposedly belonged to it, is not democracy, any more than is a veil ban. It is a cheap political stunt that actually sets back the efforts of those struggling to build bridges between ALL groups by way of unconditional equal rights, not forced conformity. Mayor Michael Bloomberg has the last word on the matter, and a good one it is:

“Government should never — never — be in the business of telling people how they should pray, or where they can pray,” Bloomberg said last week. “We want to make sure that everybody from around the world feels comfortable coming here, living here and praying the way they want to pray.”

Spoken like a true bridge builder, and one who is determined to let neither violent terrorists nor slimy scaremongers win.

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Posted in Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind, Crapagandarati, Environmentally Ill, Fascism Without Swastikas, Isn't It Ironic?, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Teh Russkies, The Hardcore Stupid, The War on Terra, Uppity Wimmin | Comments Off

Officer Bubbles is worse than you think

Posted on July 25, 2010 by Sabina Becker

How is Adam Josephs, alias “Officer Bubbles”, worse than you think? By virtue of the simple fact that he’s not the only arrogant asshole on the Toronto police force. By virtue of the simple fact that protest has been criminalized, unannounced, in Canada. By virtue of the simple fact that Courtney Winkels would have been arrested even if she hadn’t blown a single bubble. Because protest is illegal in Canada now, duh.

The question is, why did no one announce to the media that protest and community organization are now illegal? Maybe it’s because to do so would be to declare that we aren’t really a democracy; that martial law is essentially in effect where there is no just cause to implement it; in short, that we have crossed the line into fascism and dictatorship.

That’s how Officer Bubbles is worse than you think. He’s not just some random asshole in uniform, but a symptom of something deeply and chronically wrong within the system. Were he just a random asshole, he could be easily weeded out. But the fact is, police forces have a predilection for assholes, and not just in Canada. Think Dan Mitrione, the Indianapolis cop who trained CIA-backed torturers in Santo Domingo, Brazil and Uruguay before finally meeting justice at the hands of the Tupamaros in Montevideo. Mitrione got a hero’s funeral, but he was no hero; he was a professional asshole in uniform.

Assholes-in-uniform have no compunction about arresting people for no good reason (a bandanna, a backpack full of street-medic supplies, a lawyer’s phone number written with a Sharpie on a girl’s arm, etc.–not good reasons.) Assholes-in-uniform have no problem doing assholish things as a matter of course. Assholery is their profession. They’re trained to see the public as an adversary, an unruly dog to be kept at heel by any brutal means at hand; Josephs’ own Facebook page refers to his job as “taking out human garbage” for the City of Toronto, after all.

And there is little question that the G-20 cops were taught to see the protesters as the Enemy, the forces of communism and anarchy, criminals for simply protesting. Human garbage, in other words. That’s why no police broke the line; that’s why not one of them said “this is not right” when peaceful protesters were corralled in a driving rain for five hours at Queen and Spadina. Not one of them failed to charge when the protesters had completed the last chorus of “O Canada”. Not one of them laid down the baton and shield in protest of their comrades’ blatantly unlawful behavior.

If even patriotic protest is illegal in this country, then we’ve come to a bad pass. All the right-wing whining about the “police state” of Cuba becomes ridiculous when viewed in the light of the G-20 in Toronto. In Cuba, when the so-called dissidents of communism demonstrate, they usually get ushered, unhurt, onto buses, and brought home. If jailed, they are still treated humanely; hunger strikers get medical care, even if they are hell-bent on suicide. In Toronto, when dissidents of capitalism demonstrate, they get bones broken, skulls cracked, sexually assaulted, threatened with gang-rape, and herded into Gitmo-like people-pens. Ah, the glorious freedoms of capitalism that we’ve all heard so much about!

The question no one dares to ask is, If capitalism makes us free, why do capitalists have the greatest number of prisoners per capita, political and otherwise?

Think about it.

Why did the glorious freedom of capitalism need a Dan Mitrione to teach its enforcers to torture not only criminals and so-called subversives, but even innocent people, in order to discourage disobedience? Why did it need him to teach police in three different countries how to electrocute people–not to make them talk, but just “to teach them a lesson” or even “to take out human garbage” by means of death? Mitrione’s trainees in Brazil honed their craft on street beggars, after all. Why would anyone want them dead unless they had a human-trash mentality at the bottom of it–a learned mental defect that left them incapable of Christian empathy for those Jesus called “the least of these my brothers”? Mitrione was a devout Catholic with nine children. He couldn’t possibly have missed that lesson in Sunday mass; priests teach it all the time as an example of the virtue of charity. Did he simply ignore it? Or did his later training as a professional asshole-in-uniform override it?

Given that Mitrione’s mission in Latin America was to roll back all efforts of progressives to establish a more equitable and just state under socialism, and to keep those countries in subservience to the biggest capitalist nation of all, I’ll go with the latter option. Right-wing Catholics like Dan Mitrione are taught to override Jesus’s true teachings all the time. The disciples’ simple, effective practice of holding all property in common, so that everybody is looked after and no one is stuffed while others starve, gets ignored routinely by such people. The message of mercy and loving kindness is obscured by the competing vision of the Old Testament God, the angry punisher, who decreed (via the elite priesthood) that disobedient men, women and even children should be stoned–that is, tortured–to death as an example to others.

Right-wing cops are no different. The basically positive message of community policing, “to serve and protect”, is overridden by the human-garbage mentality of the asshole-in-uniform. The police are then no longer the citizenry’s “friend and helper” (as the German police slogan would have it), but the friend and helper of the moneyed oligarchy–the sole interest they serve and protect.

The same polite, friendly, quintessentially Canadian cops who cleared the roads in my hometown so our little peace march could proceed in 2003, could nowadays be turned against us. Then, I proudly carried a Maple Leaf, as well as a Stars and Stripes with the stars rearranged in a peace symbol, to show solidarity for neighbors to the south who also opposed the war against Iraq. Nowadays, I’m not so sure I could get away with that. I’m being forced to reconsider whether I want to take part in any open demonstrations at all, even with my country’s flag and the national anthem as rallying symbols. If the cops in Toronto could charge a peaceful demo where the protesters waved the flag and sang “O Canada”, then no manifestation of free speech and peaceful assembly is immune. We are all subject to the modern equivalent of stoning, without mercy. We are all fodder for the Dan Mitriones.

And that’s why Officer Bubbles is worse than you think–it’s because he’s more common than you think. He’s not a random asshole or a bad apple in a basically good barrel; he’s just one of a great many, specially selected and trained to think of all the rest of us as human garbage, to be taken out without compassion or compunction.

And that’s what makes him so goddamn scary.

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Posted in Angry Pacifist Speaks Her Mind, Canadian Counterpunch, Cuba, Libre (de los Yanquis), Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Law-Law Land, Paraguay, Uruguay, Pissing Jesus Off | 3 Comments

Wankers of the Week: Hotter than Hades edition

Posted on July 24, 2010 by Sabina Becker

Y’okay. July’s got one week left. And when it goes, the stinkingly unpleasant humid scorchers should soon also abate here in Southern Ontario. Truth be told, this past week hasn’t been nearly as bad as the two before it. But Teh Stoopid still burns hotter than napalm, and to prove it, here are some of those who haz it:

1. Sarah Fucking Palin. Finally, we know the secret reason behind her appeal to white-trash Amurrica. It’s not her Miss Wasilla title; it’s not her hair extensions; it’s not her lipstick; it’s not her boobs, or her gams, or anything else that’s MILFy about her. It’s the fact that she is even dumber than fucking Dubya, if that’s possible.

There is no reason why peace-loving Muslims should object to a mosque anywhere near Ground Zero, since it wasn’t peace-loving Muslims that brought the Twin Towers down. Need I remind you that it was violence-loving phonies with the backing of the CIA, the Pakistani ISI, and a paymaster who happened to be a Pakistani general named Mahmood Ahmed? None of them are peace-lovers, and any responsible imam would have trouble characterizing any of them as Muslims. Therefore, the idea that a peaceful house of worship should be a “stab” to the values of anyone is frankly ludicrous, and the location of said place (which is not even within sight of the disaster area) has no bearing on anything. If anything, the presence of a mosque nearby should offer evidence of tolerance, and be a comfort to those Muslims who lost family in the WTC on 9-11. It is not a stab to the heart, but a balm for heartache to those people, and should be regarded as such by non-Muslims as well.

BTW, this wasn’t just a random slip of the tweeter. Here’s some video, showing our poor misunderestimated Paliness mouthing the selfsame stupidities on Fux Snooze–the very channel that crowned King George the Dubya when in fact Al Gore had won Florida. The “reporter” who broke that “news” was Dubya’s own cousin. Coincidence? I think not.

PS: This isn’t helping, either.

PPS: Aw, fuck.

2. Rob Fucking Ford, again. What’d he do this week? Well, how about a bald-faced lie about the Mayor of Toronto, whose seat he’s salivating to squat in come next municipal election:

(Tweetage courtesy of Jonathan Goldsbie. Follow him if you want to know what’s really going on in TO, and not just its City Hall, either.)

Is this a responsible use of taxpayers’ money, Rob? Shit, even if you did it on your own dime, it’s just plain reprehensible. (PS: Bwahahahaha.)

3. Bibi Fucking Netanyahu. He may tack the word “illegal” on there, but really he just means Africans. Yeah, tell me Israel is not an apartheid state. Someone please tell him about the Falashas again, he seems to have forgotten that historic chapter.

4. Ezra Fucking Levant. Why?

That’s why.

Ezra the Putz spends an awful lot of time screaming about antisemitism, while hating on those other Semites, the Arabs. I guess Mel’s not being a Muslim gets him a free Ezra putz pass, somehow. And if Mel’s next tirade happens to be against brown people who bow down to Allah five times a day, we’ll know for sure.

5. Douglas Fucking Spink. Bestiality is NOT a sexual orientation, it is animal abuse, and it is CRUEL. There just aren’t enough circles in Hades to accommodate the likes of THIS one.

6. Jason Fucking Ready. There’s a reason why I don’t believe the so-called “Minutemen” who are trying to usurp the US Border Patrol’s job when they claim they’re not really racist/fascist/Nazis. Can anyone tell me what the fuck it is? Three guesses.

7. Maxime Fucking Bernier. As I understand it, the long-form census questionnaire is only given to some Canadian households (one in five, to be precise), and no one holds a gun to their head forcing them to fill the entire darn thing out (although most do, simply out of a well-developed sense of civic responsibility, or, if they’re like me, because they like to be in some small way useful to science and/or StatsCan). But you’d never know it to hear Maxime “Biker Babe Bonker” Bernier tell it. To him, it’s some kind of partisan Liberal thing that “obligates” people to answer “intrusive” check-a-box questions about their ethnicity, religion, etc. Someone please inform him that the long-form questionnaire was in place even when Liberals did NOT form our federal government, and that it’s not Liberals’ (or anyone else’s) fault if the Tories find statistics inconvenient and contradictory to their hard-right aganda. And BTW, if there’s anyone who can’t be trusted with people’s personal info, it’s Maxime Bernier–a man well known for losing sensitive classified documents in all sorts of embarrassing ways.

8. Glenn Fucking Beck. He thinks he’s gonna go blind? I think he’s been there for quite some time. Certainly hasn’t been using his eyes. Well, that’s what happens when you can’t stop pulling your pud. (And he’s been a wanker for so long now that I’m sure his palms are permanently hairy, to boot.)

9. Christie Fucking Blatchford. Yes, this deals with some wankage of hers that came out a c
ouple of weeks ago. But what can we say? La Blatch is the wank that keeps on wanking. Plus, if you click on the link, you’ll see her crotchety old ass get kicked with sheer impeccable logic that’s just downright beautiful.

10. and 11. Byron Fucking Williams and Janice Fucking Williams. Isn’t it awesome to see how fascist gun nuttery and general wankitude can be passed down from mother to son, like a disease gene or something? When yer mama packs guns and bitches about the left and talks “revolution” (meaning a very minor revolt, nada más), it’s virtually inevitable that you will do the same…and then go commit a felony of unspecified nature (probably also gun-related, unless I miss my guess)…and become unemployable as a result…and then go ballistic, quite literally.

12. Rick the Fucking Speedo Freak from Hedonism II. I don’t know his surname, and maybe it’s just as well. I will never forget those rolls around his midsection. I can haz eyebleach?

13. Conrad Fucking Black. Yes, Lord Blah-Blah has been sprung. Guess he finally found a judge he could buy. Looks like the lousy prison chow at Club Fed hasn’t made a dent in his waistline, either.

14. Brian Fucking Brown. Martyr: not. Wimp: MUCH.

15. Alan Fucking Downing. Seems evangelical Christians aren’t the only ones who have not-so-ex-gay counsellors. Or problems with that banging closet door.

16. Brent Fucking Bozell. Yeah, the media DO need to cover the Shirley Sherrod story…in order to set straight what you and Andrew Fucking Breitbart deliberately fucked up, you worthless, RACIST sons of whores.

17. Erick Fucking Erickson. Why?

Yeah, that’s EXACTLY what it looks like, because that’s exactly what it IS. But hey, the fucking racist wanker at least got his wish–there is MUCH more to the Shirley Sherrod story!

18. Andrew Fucking Breitbart. Whenever I think this skanky shit-weasel can’t sink any lower, he goddamn fucking DOES. Just look at all the non-stories replete with racist dog-whistles that he’s touted as “exclusives” and “scoops” and “ignored by the media” lately. Then ask yourself what it all means, if you haven’t fucking guessed already. I hope his pickled liver gives out on him, and soon…and that there’s no donor available, black or white, to save his sagging ass. Yes, he is just THAT vile. PS: What’d I tell you, he really did NOT have $100,000 to give out as a “reward” for the correspondence of Dave Weigel, either. Of course, rescinding an offer you never meant to make good on is very convenient, isn’t it, Spitefart?

19. Paul Fucking Babeu. Never mind who feels “offended” that you were on an overtly racist white-supremacist trash talk show. You’re a public official. You have NO BUSINESS being on such shows in the first place, and if you can’t properly sniff them out in advance, you have no business calling yourself a cop, either. The profession demands better investigative skills than that. Don’t just apologize “to those I might have offended”, which isn’t a real apology anyway–just fucking RESIGN!

20. Tom Fucking Vilsack. Another worse than useless dick who needs to resign. Caving to the right is for cowards and corporatists. Vilsack is both.

21. John Fucking Hinderaker. The bullshit at the link really makes me wonder why TIME magazine picked Powerwhine for its top blog of 2004. I am forced to conclude that they are all racists, fascists, dumbasses and dickweeds. Seem fair to you?

22. Ben Fucking Stein. Okay, folks, try not to laugh at the pot calling the kettle “unpleasant”. I mean, this guy was once Tricky Dick’s speechwriter. Can Ben help it if his personality is lacking in lustre, and if he thinks jobs grow on trees? He’s never had an honest one either.

23. Edwin A. Fucking Graning. Word to the not-so-wise: You weren’t fired for your religious beliefs, you were fired for FAILING TO DO YOUR JOB. And your job was driving people on a bus to wherever they want to go…even if that is an abortion clinic. If you can’t do that, you have no business driving a bus. And if you want to preach, get a fucking pulpit already.

24. Michael Fucking Reagan. See Wanker #1, and do not copy. And wipe that fucking smirk off your face, fergawdsakes!

25. Kenneth Robert Fucking Klassen. What’s more reprehensible: child-sex tourism or picking on the most emaciated ones, on purpose, because they are the most defenceless girls? No, wait, I got it…making excuses for this, claiming you couldn’t find a Canadian woman to fit your icky desires, and that you weren’t hurting anyone by possessing child porn featuring yourself with these emaciated, underage girls. In a word: BULLFUCKINGSHIT!

26. Steve Fucking Gibson. Yeah, I’d say “trolling” describes this bottom-feeder’s profession just perfectly. Of his pose in the photo (clicky da linky, kiddies, you know you wanna!) my best friend says: “It’s interesting where the troll has his hands in the promo photo that is running with the article. One hand is over his crotch, and the other looks like it’s clutching either his wallet or his keys in his pocket. Protecting the two things he treasures most?” That, or he’s secretly indicating his two biggest sources of insecurity. Same thing, no doubt.

27. Jason Fucking Kenney. Well, well, well. What have we here? A lawb
reaker? Funny how SupposiTories always campaign on lawn-order issues, only to have it come back to bite them in the end.

28. And speaking of lawn-order SupposiTories getting bitten, get a load of Tony Fucking Clement. Nuttier than a tree full of squirrels, and his rationales just don’t hold water. But then, we already knew that. Harpo likes ’em that way, because he IS that way. So, Tony, what do you and Stevie get up to on your Nixonian Friday nights, besides things that won’t make the news because the journos are already off in a pub somewhere having beer and kvetching about what asswipes you all are?

29. Stockwell Fucking Day. Has anyone ever gone to jail and suffered grievous, fascistic human rights abuses in this country for NOT filling out a census form? For that matter, has anyone seen fit to be bothered about it? And what the fuck do the Geneva Conventions have to do with this internal matter? NOTHING. But LaughingStock being so stupid (like Sgt. Schultz), of course he’d try to trot out an irrelevant example, straight off of “Hogan’s Heroes”. SupposiTories have zero shame, and zero concept of how idiotic they look (and indeed ARE).

30. Jim Fucking Webb. His opponent lost a senate seat to him because he called a brown guy “macaca”. What’s Jim’s excuse–being too polite to call someone a racist name? Of course, being a privileged white man has a way of blinding one to white man’s privilege. But just because YOU can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. (You might get a clearer view, though, if you pulled your head out of your ass first.)

31. Fucking Queerty. So much for not having an agenda. It seems that some queers do have ’em, and this one’s against immigrants and solidarity. Shameful!

32. Sylvester Fucking Stallone. Apparently, all of Brazil takes exception to you. Brazilians are normally sweet-natured as all shucky-darn, so if you manage to piss them off to the point where they all tell you to cala boca (that’s STFU, to you), that’s quite the achievement there, muddafukka.

33. James Fucking Watt. How art thou a twat? Let us count the ways: Charging obscene prices for beer; making that beer stronger than most whiskies (which is just WRONG); serving it up in animal carcasses (roadkill, no less); and naming the entire disastrous concoction after Francis Fucking Fukuyama’s imbecilic meditation on the glories of crapitalism. That’s at least four bits of twattage right there. Five if anyone is stupid enough to buy it, and six if they’re dumb enough to take a drink.

34. Patrick Fucking O’Brien. Worst fucking jury foreman EVER. Jump to inane conclusions much? Because being at a bar dancing does NOT imply consent for some jackass to pull your top down and expose your boobs to a camera for a Girls Gone Wild video. NOTHING does. If what Jane Doe was doing implies anything, it’s that the girl just wanted to dance with her friends–preferably unmolested by horny toads and smut peddlers.

And finally, to all the global-warming deniers out there. Hot enough for you to believe in it now? Don’t worry, it’s gonna get a lot hotter. And within your lifetime, too. That’s what you get for insisting you can keep on as you’ve been keeping on. And no, air conditioning won’t save you. It’s gonna make matters worse.

Good night, and get fucked!

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