Let’s see Peter Kent explain THIS.

Since this report was filed, it’s been confirmed that the assassins are, indeed, Mossad agents, and they were traveling under false passports. And there’s an even weirder twist:

The Foreign Office was investigating how the identities of six innocent Britons — at least three of whom lived in Israel — came to be used by the alleged hit team.

[…]

As police in Dubai released CCTV footage of the suspects, some of the Britons whose identities were stolen voiced their anger after waking up to discover that they had been named in the plot.

“I have not left Israel for two years and I certainly have not been to Dubai recently,” said Kent-born Paul Keeley, 42, a builder who has lived on a Kibbutz in northern Israel for the past 15 years.

“When I first heard about this I immediately looked to make sure my passport was still there and it was. It has not been stolen, so I don’t know what on earth has happened.

“I woke up this morning and suddenly my life is like an espionage movie. It is all very worrying but I know I have not done anything wrong.”

Mr Keeley’s mother, Joan, of Yalding, near Maidstone, said the picture released by the Dubai police of a suspect named as “Paul Keeley” was similar to her son, suggesting that his identity had been used because of his resemblance to the alleged assassin.

[…]

The Foreign Office said the British passports were “fraudulent”, while the Irish foreign ministry said it had issued “no such passports” in the names used. A spokesman for the government in Berlin said the passport number on the German document was also fake.

Another of the suspects named in Dubai was Harrow-born Melvyn Mildiner, 31, who lives near Jerusalem, and who said he was “angry, upset and scared” to discover that his passport had been forged.

“It’s not me, which is one silver lining to this entire story because at least I can point to it and say, ‘Look, that’s not me.’ It’s not the picture that I have in my passport and it’s not the picture that I have on my face that I walk around with every day,” he said.

“I have my passport. It’s in my house, and there are no Dubai stamps on it because I’ve never been to Dubai.”

Mr Mildiner, who bears a resemblance to the picture on the forged passport used by the alleged assassin, added: “I don’t know how this happened or who chose my name or why, but hopefully we’ll find out soon.”

The other Britons named in Dubai were Salford-born Stephen Hodes, 37, who works as a physiotherapist at a hospital in Jerusalem; Michael Lawrence Barney, 55, originally of north London, who is also understood to live in Israel; Jonathan Louis Graham, 31, of north London; and James Leonard Clarke, 47, who until recently lived in Brighton.

But what really leapt out at me was this bit near the bottom:

Mossad hit squads were known to have used forged foreign passports. Canada and New Zealand have both had disputes with Israel in recent years over suspected Mossad agents trying to use forged passports on operations.

Even Canada, eh? Pity.

And it’s not just Canada. The Emerald Isle is also full of questions now:

The Irish government says the trio of alleged passport-holders identified on Monday in Dubai as Gail Folliard, Evan Dennings and Kevin Daveron do not appear in Ireland’s records of legitimate passport-holders.

“We are unable to identify any of those three individuals as being genuine Irish citizens. Ireland has issued no passports in those names,” the department said in a statement to The Associated Press.

The Irish government says the passport numbers publicised by Dubai authorities also are counterfeits, because they have the wrong number of digits and contain no letters.

Things that make you (and France, and Germany) go “hmmmm”, eh?

There is literally no blow too low for the Mossad to strike, it seems. Interpol also wants a piece of these guys now.

And yet, Peter Kent said just the other day that an attack on Israel is an attack on Canada. Well, Peter? Let’s see you explain this. And please, make it a good one. I want to know just how Interpol could possibly be tarred as “anti-Canadian”.

Especially since they’re going after an Israeli spy organization with a known history of forging Canadian passports.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, The WTF? Files | 1 Comment

Teh Heterostoopid: Always set a good example…

…because little pitchers have big ears:

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And because it’s always important to teach them early.

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Posted in Teh Heterostoopid | 3 Comments

Stupid Sex Tricks: Caution

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Don’t you love how they gave the silhouette a super-obvious boob job?

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Posted in Stupid Sex Tricks | 6 Comments

Short ‘n’ Stubby: Haiti roundup (and ripoffs), part quatrième

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Ms. Manx likes the fact that there’s a “quat” in the title. All punning aside, however, the news out of Hispaniola is still not good…

First up, remember those child traffickers hapless Christian do-gooders out of Idaho? Well, their “attorney” is apparently not a lawyer, unless under legal experience, you count evasion of the law. Specifically, regarding child sex slaves.

And he’s not the only shady “legal representative” this group has used, either. Another “attorney”, a Haitian named Edwin Coq, was dismissed after offering $60,000 US in bribes to the authorities. Who fired him? None other than the bogus lawyer from above! (Link in Spanish.)

But don’t feel too sorry for them and their poor choice of representation…eight of the ten are now out of jail.

Next, US ambassador to Haiti, Ken Merten, has some strange ideas of what constitutes “working well”.

Meanwhile, Jamaica Observer columnist John Maxwell offers a harsh corrective, and a well-deserved roundhouse punch to the lazy, smug, complacent foreign media types who refuse to get the story right.

Sarko is in Haiti right now, announcing an “aid plan” that is chump change compared to all the blood money France extorted out of those uppity niggruhs over the last two centuries. Money which, had it been left in Haiti, would have elevated that country to first-world status by now.

Also, Harpo is a militaristic, opportunistic dick. But we already knew that.

Finally, here’s a song by Alí Primera, Venezuela’s greatest folk singer. He died 25 years ago today, but this song might have been written only yesterday. It’s about Haiti’s struggles, and it’s called “The Night of Jabali”.

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Posted in Morticia! You Spoke French!, Short 'n' Stubby | 2 Comments

Is the History Channel turning into FUX Snooze?

The reason I ask is because they’re putting together a documentary of the Kennedy clan which sounds positively atrocious:

Fixating on JFK banging some floozy in a swimming pool while “Secret Service Man #2” looks uncomfortably on? Twisting timelines on crucial events? Virtually excluding the Bay of Pigs invasion (and its inevitable fallout, the Cuban Missile Crisis) from the story, while obsessing over how Jack, Bobby, Ted and their old man Joe were constantly chasing tail? That’s a history FAIL. One might as well just make a “Kennedy” porno and release it on the Playboy Channel instead.

Oh yeah, and if you’re as pissed about this travesty as I am, go here and sign the petition.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, If You REALLY Care, Isn't That Illegal? | Comments Off on Is the History Channel turning into FUX Snooze?

Juanes: Schooled on the tweeter

So…Juanes thought he could get away with insults, bullshit and lame excuses (not to mention facile sloganeering) under the rubric of “free expression”? Looks like the joke’s on him…

Colombian singer Juanes, on his Twitter page, tried to play the jester of the social networks and drew a series of irate comments from followers of the Venezuelan president.

Last Saturday, Juanes wrote the following comment on Twitter: “They gave me Chávez’s PIN, anyone want it so you can send messages to his Blackberry?” He responded in his next entry: “Here you go, S0N0F4B1TCH”. (The Blackberry PIN is a type of e-mail address to which one can send short messages.)

Juanes, trying to defend himself, said that “Twitter is a place where there’s freedom of expression, and I’ll write whatever I want.” But he forgot that whatever you say, be it on the Internet or whatever place, you have to be responsible for the consequences those expressions could generate.

What is certain is that on Twitter, Chávez isn’t alone. Not so long ago, his opponents opined freely, and in many cases in an offensive manner, and did not receive any contrary opinions. Now, things are very different, and Juanes, who is a public figure, should not forget it.

Recently, the Venezuelan president recommended using all available Internet tools, such as social networks, and specifically Twitter. In his opinion, these “also are battlefields, we have to get involved and learn to use all these instruments, and fight the battle on all fronts.”

Translation mine.

Juanes: Funnyman FAIL. If you have to explain that you were “only joking”, it wasn’t funny to begin with. No funny, no joke.

Also, internationalist FAIL. Real internationalists respect other countries’ choice of leaders, even if they don’t like him personally. They don’t go around preaching peace and love on the one hand, and then turn around and piss on the neighbor’s lawn while drunk on a Saturday night. If you’re gonna go around saying that “a country is its people, not its president”, you’d best be remembering that it was the people of Venezuela who elected him president. They have ratified his reign at every turn. His stay in power hinges on them, not him. When you insult him, you insult them.

And since Chavecito recommended to his people–his electors–that they use the tweeter…

…to counteract the big media campaigns against him, well…don’t expect your “free expression” of hatred for a people’s president to go quite so free and unpunished anymore.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, El NarcoPresidente, Huguito Chavecito, The Nausea | 3 Comments

Economics for Dummies: Woo woo woo woo…

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So who said we didn’t live in Bizarro World already? There are plenty of people who think an economy abounding in well-paid jobs IS a Bad Thing. That’s why we no longer have one.

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Posted in Economics for Dummies | 3 Comments

Juanes: Douchebaggery confirmed.

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Once more, via the tweeter, we glimpse an ugly truth about a pretty boy who sings very bland, mediocre music and preaches what we now know to be a false message of peace. From Aporrea:

Young Venezuelans, who support the process of change in their country, demanded on Monday that the Colombian singer, Juanes, show more respect to Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez Frías, whom he attacked on his Twitter page.

Juanes wrote over the weekend that he had the PIN of the Blackberry belonging to Chávez. He used a combination of numbers and letters that spelled out an insult.

Hundreds of Venezuelans reacted, expressing their disgust via the same network.

Venezuelan singer Roque Valero wrote on his Twitter page: “A person who believes in peace and love, doesn’t call a President a ‘son of a bitch’, no matter who he is.”

“I don’t understand how someone who preaches peace could be so insulting in public. I don’t know why he didn’t do the same when he was in Havana,” Valero said.

On the Colombian singer’s Twitter page, the PSUV youth wing demanded respect for President Chávez and the Venezuelan people: “Pueblo venezolano le exige respeto a @juanes por twitter.”

Another youth, identified as angelito2009, said: “If you really love my country, you won’t mess with our government, led by our President, Hugo Chávez. Dude, we’re sovereign.”

And another user, GuillermoC, wrote: “If that’s Chávez’s PIN, Uribe’s is N4RC07R4F1C4N7E.”

Translation mine. I don’t think I need to translate GuillermoC’s alphanumerics, do you? (BTW, that’s not an insult to Dictator Uribe. It is the truth.)

Here’s a screen-grab of the offending message string:

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In it, we can see Juanes remonstrating with the Venezuelans, accusing them of not having a sense of humor, and soliciting further “bad jokes” in typical weasel fashion. The passage circled in red is the one where he lets slip what he really thinks of the ‘Cito.

No, it’s not insulting to call Juanes a douchebag, either. It is the truth.

(Muchas gracias to Slave Revolt for the heads-up.)

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Posted in Huguito Chavecito, The Nausea | 3 Comments

Stupid Sex Tricks: And that’s why comprehensive sex ed matters.

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Another happy ending, cut tragically short. Please, people, don’t keep your budgies in the dark!

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Posted in Stupid Sex Tricks | 6 Comments

What is love?

Well, for me it looks a lot like this:

Three hot twinks dancing around in their Speedos. What’s not to love?

Happy V-day viewing, y’all.

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Posted in Teh Ghey | 2 Comments