Stupid Sex Tricks: Ask a stupid question…

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See, this is why comprehensive sex education should be mandatory. Not only will it prevent pregnancy in stupid people, it will also save their unborn children from the same worse-than-death fate!

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Posted in Stupid Sex Tricks, The Hardcore Stupid | 5 Comments

Economics for Dummies: Capitalism, explained succinctly

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“Penalized”, by the way, means “with a slap on the wrist, a fine so small that it barely makes a dent in the profits, and can therefore still be read as a reward”–hence the Freudian slip.

And “people”, in this case, doesn’t mean the people; it means only the top 1% or so, i.e. those who didn’t do the actual work, didn’t take the actual risk, and didn’t frequently lose their actual lives in pursuit of a hypothetical reward for hard work and ambition that never actually came. These “people” were/are actually in the least-risky position of all, namely the top of the pyramid. The other 99%, those who do the actual work, take the actual risks, and frequently lose their actual lives in pursuit of a hypothetical reward for hard work and ambition, aren’t people–they’re peasants.

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Ah, that “civil society” of the Venezuelan opposition…

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Such class! Such manners! Such elegance and eloquence! Such incorruptible parliamentary decorum! Yes, this is the way Venezuela should be governed in the glorious future when it is finally free of that odious “21st Century Socialism”, and these are just the people to get rid of that nasty-wasty dictator Chávez…

The elections for municipal-chamber directors in Lagunillas and Machiques, in the state of Zulia, became scenes of confrontation and fist-fighting between members of the parties Acción Democrática, Primero Justicia, COPEI and Un Nuevo Tiempo. All parties were members of the so-called Democratic Unity Committee, according to the Wednesday edition of the Diario VEA newspaper.

In Lagunillas, the brawl between members of Un Nuevo Tiempo and COPEI left 30 persons injured, and a tear-gas canister was launched by the firefighters of Ciudad Ojeda in order to force the evacuation of the building.

Two councillors of the COPEI party and the mayor, Eduin Pirela, of Acción Democrática, were injured in the fighting and were later taken to private clinics.

Similar things occurred in Machiques, where groups of Acción Democrática and Primero Justicia members squared off over a violation of internal regulations of debate, in which the AD members attempted to impose the nomination of one of their members.

These events took place amid calls for the fragmented Venezuelan opposition to maintain unity amongst themselves in order to win seats in the upcoming parliamentary elections.

Translation mine.

Looks like they’re totally onto a winning unity strategy there. Keep it up, oppos! I’m pullin’ for ya. We’re all in this together. Keep yer sticks on the ice…hahahahahahahahaha…

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Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic? | 6 Comments

Honduras: More shit you couldn’t make up if you tried

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They have a strange notion of what constitutes “democracy” down there in the banana republics. De facto dictator Gorilletti, for example, is such a shit that no one in their right mind would elect him, but as Aporrea reports, the putschist Honduran congress has found a neat little way around that:

The Honduran congress designated de facto president Roberto Micheletti a “member for life” on Wednesday, in recognition of his efforts “in favor of democracy” in the Central American nation.

Micheletti attended the session with which the congress closed its four-year constitutional term, and in his speech thanked the legislators for their support during the seven months of his rule.

Micheletti assumed power on June 28, 2009, after a coup d’état against the deposed and subsequently expelled constitutional president Manuel Zelaya, who remains inside the Brazilian embassy in Tegucigalpa as of September 21, having re-entered the country secretly.

The congress, dominated by supporters of the coup, deemed Micheletti “constitutional president” of the republic.

Micheletti, who remains unrecognized as president by any country, assured that he will step down as president on January 27, when the presidency will be assumed by Porfirio Lobo, who won the elections of November 29 and is recognized only by the United States, Costa Rica, Colombia, Panama and Peru.

Translation mine.

Meanwhile, look who won’t be attending the inauguration of Pepe Lobo…

The president of Costa Rica, Oscar Arias, announced on Wednesday that he would not be attending the inauguration of Porfirio Lobo, whom he criticized for his “weakness” in not getting de facto president Roberto Micheletti to leave power before the change-over on January 27.

“If he could not convince whomever presided in the de facto government that it would give greater legitimacy to the elections and the succession, accompanied by international authorities and other heads of state, it seems to me that this is a demonstration of weakness,” said Arias during a press conference.

The Costa Rican leader said that he has not had any contact recently with the elected authorities in Honduras, but that he had read in the press that Micheletti would remain in power until he handed over the presidential sash to Lobo.

“If Micheletti remains in power until January 27, it seems to me a sign of weakness on Lobo’s part. He does not deserve this, nor do the people of Honduras, who need a strong president in order to recuperate [their country’s image] from all the criticism resulting from the coup d’état on June 28,” Arias declared.

Arias, who attempted to mediate in the Honduran conflict after the expulsion of Manuel Zelaya, recalled that at year’s end, he met with Lobo in San José, and recommended to him that he try to get Micheletti to leave office. “I told him he would be well regarded and applauded by the international community if someone other than Micheletti were in charge of the government on the 27th of January, when he [Lobo] is due to receive the sash.”

Arias regretted that this would not be possible, and predicted, before confirming that he would not attend Lobo’s inauguration, that it “would be a very lonely affair” which, he said, gave him “great pain.”

As mediator in the conflict, Arias advocated for the return of Zelaya to power and amnesty for the perpetrators, but none of this took place. Later, he supported the elections in which Lobo won, and asked the international community to recognize the elections and the newly elected government.

Translation, again, mine.

Sorry, Oscar, but the world can’t recognize this “election” as anything but a farce, when it was attended by such a small portion of the Honduran electorate and its outcome was so obviously screwed up. Nobody voted Gorilletti into the congress-to-be, and yet there he is, a member for life. What the hell kind of democracy is that?

Obviously, it’s a very lame simulacrum, which is probably why Oscar Arias won’t be attending the inauguration of his neighbor. He already made a big enough ass of himself trying to mediate a conflict where the putschists were determined to kill the clock, and later trying to get recognition for the bogus election. He probably figures it’s time to cut his losses and stay home.

Most of the region’s other leaders will be doing the same.

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More earthquake footage from Haiti

This was taken by a roadway security camera at the time of the quake. Watch the houses in the background as the shaking starts; they collapse one by one, domino-like, in clouds of dust.

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Posted in If You REALLY Care | 2 Comments

Teh Heterostoopid: Another “daddy” who can’t do the math

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Lemme guess, dude…all the oxygen and nutrients that were supposed to be allocated to your brain somehow migrated down to your testicles instead?

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How to help Haiti

I donated at Avaaz, which puts 100% of the money raised toward recovery and rebuilding. You can too; clicky here.

Friends on Facebook also recommend the Red Cross (click here for Canada), Doctors Without Borders, and this article by Naomi Klein. Because disaster capitalism never sleeps, and neither should those who oppose it.

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Haiti earthquake: Some early photos and video

Via Aporrea, two YouTubes. Some photos:

And some video:

Aporrea is also reporting that the UN chief-of-mission in Haiti, Hedi Annabi, has been killed in the 7.3 magnitude quake. The UN building (and that of MINUSTAH) has been destroyed, along with at least one hospital and a prison building (from which several inmates are reported to have escaped.)

Natural disasters hit Haiti harder than anyplace else on Earth because of its poverty; El Duderino reminds us of why Haiti is so poor in the first place, and why it is also so vulnerable to coups planned from just a few hundred miles offshore. (Coups which, incidentally, have disgraced my own home and native land, and shame me as a Canadian.)

In a way, the destruction of the MINUSTAH headquarters seems like poetic justice, since MINUSTAH was originally there to prop up a government that the people of Haiti did not elect, and overstayed its welcome considerably–and under protest. Its real mission is unclear, but its apparent mission is to make sure that the original elected president, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, doesn’t get back into office in any way, shape or form. Its stated mission was to distribute aid and fight crime, but it seems to have been complicit in its share of crime and has been less than effective in distributing aid–except to foreign NGOs, of which there is certainly no shortage in Haiti, whatever else is lacking.

And there is a lot more lacking in that little country now.

Meanwhile, Venezuela’s response was quick and to the point: They sent doctors and are gathering non-perishable food, clothing, medicines, etc. Solidarity in action, rather than endless preachy words. No wonder the Haitians gave Chavecito a hero’s welcome last time he showed up in person. They will again, I’ll bet, when they’re back on solid ground.

Seguid el ejemplo qué Caracas dió…

UPDATES: Some other Canadian content on this story. A Progressive Bloggers member is worried about her parents, who are currently in Haiti and unaccounted for. Another Canadian citizen in the country texted for help, and got it. Meanwhile, a Canadian nurse is confirmed to be among the dead.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Huguito Chavecito, If You REALLY Care, Isn't That Illegal? | 2 Comments

Vargas Loser gets booed in Chile

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Shoulda stuck to what you were good at, Mario…

And he shoulda stayed on the left, too. Then maybe things like this wouldn’t be happening to him now:

The heckling of writer Mario Vargas Llosa and the abrupt appearance of the sister of a Mapuche Indian killed by Chilean police marred the opening of the Museo de la Memoria, intended to honor victims of the late Augusto Pinochet’s 1973-1990 dictatorship.

Presiding over Monday’s ceremony was Chilean head of state Michelle Bachelet, who was imprisoned and tortured during the military regime.

She was accompanied by the other three presidents who have ruled Chile since the return of democracy – Patricio Aylwin, Eduardo Frei and Ricardo Lagos – along with numerous ministers and lawmakers.

Also present was Peruvian-born novelist Vargas Llosa, who has been in Santiago since last week as a guest of right-wing presidential candidate Sebastian Piñera, who has won the endorsement of the acclaimed writer.

Piñera will challenge Eduardo Frei next Sunday in a runoff.

“Get out, get out!” those seated near Vargas Llosa began to shout as he talked to reporters before the event began.

“In an electoral campaign the atmosphere always gets a little tense, but I have the impression that this is a small group and that most people are showing all the sophistication they should in such cases,” Vargas Llosa said when asked about the heckling.

Fancy him talking about “sophistication” when the candidate who invited him is a disgusting Pinochet apologist. Yeah, fascism is so “sophisticated”. That’s why this pompous twat routinely shills for it in Venezuela; I don’t suppose he’s much different when it comes to Chile. (It bears repeating that Vargas Loser has hated democracy in Latin America ever since he lost a presidential election so badly in Peru. Voters aren’t totally stupid, it seems.)

Of course, the neo-cons all love him. They’re quite alone in that; no one else cares for sold-out turncoats. Least of all the Latin Americans (and particularly, the indigenous) whom he betrayed.

He deserves all the booing he gets, and then some.

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Posted in Chile Sin Queso, Crapagandarati, Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Inca Dink-a-Doo, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Sick Frickin' Bastards | 4 Comments

Avatar–WTF?

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While everyone else is all agog over how Evo went to see Avatar with his daughter (and loved it), I found something very different regarding that film in Russia:

Soviet sci-fi writer, 76-year-old Boris Strugatsky, has accused Oscar-winning director James Cameron of plagiarism.

One of the authors of “Roadside Picnic” is claiming that the plot of Cameron’s latest 3-D sci-fi adventure, “Avatar”, has been taken from his “Noon: 22nd Century” novel, released in mid ’60s.

“The Americans have borrowed our idea – it’s very unpleasant,” Boris Strugatsky was quoted as saying. “But I won’t take them to court. Or shall I?”

[…]

“Avatar” is set on Pandora, a moon with an Earthlike environment that orbits a gas-giant planet called Polyphemus in the Alpha Centauri-A star system, our nearest stellar neighbor.

Meanwhile, the collection of “Noon Universe” novels written by Boris and Arkady Strugatsky in the 1960s features a number of planets, including Pandora.

[…]

According to the Soviet writer, “Avatar” is akin to an illustration to Strugatsky’s books. For instance, their “Disquiet” novel focuses on a biologist, Mikhail Sidorov, who finds himself on Pandora among the native population. In Cameron’s film, according to Strugatsky, he has morphed into a former Marine, Jake Sully.

In Strugatsky’s books, the inhabitants of the planet resemble dogs, while Cameron’s creatures have the features of cats.

Boris Strugatsky (who, along with his late brother Arkady, is a very leading name in Russian SF, BTW) may be mulling suing, but the Communists of St. Petersburg have already taken things a step further:

The organization “Communists of Petersburg” has demanded to arrest the creator of Avatar James Cameron for being “the plunderer of Soviet science fiction”.

The statement has been published at the official website of the organization.

According to the secretary of Volkhov Department of the Communists of Petersburg Organization, James Cameron “lifted his hand against the creative legacy of the late sci-fi writers Arkady Strugatsky, Ivan Yefremov, Kir Bulychev, and film director Pavel Arsenov, making use of the fact that the dead authors cannot go to the law”.

“Cameron deserves a place in prison and not at the Oscar ceremony” – communists of Petersburg claim.

This movie is now one to watch…on more fronts than one, it seems.

(Although, if the illustration I found on FailBlog is any indication, it looks like Cameron may have lifted the plot of Pocahontas, as well–throwing a further kink into the whole matter.)

UPDATE, 11:38 am: Commenter Alexander, below, says this was a hoax, and that Boris Strugatsky has not threatened to sue.

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Posted in All About Evo, Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff, Isn't That Illegal?, Teh Russkies | 9 Comments