Megadildoes!

He’s horrendous, he’s appalling; his ratings now are falling…everybody sing!

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Cops Behaving Badly: Montréal, Chicago…have I missed a spot?

Photo by C.S. Muncy, taken at Occupy Chicago’s anti-NATO demo. More here.

Good morning, Chicago! How are you liking life in your police state this fine May day? Not at all? Don’t worry, Montréal knows exactly how you feel:

“People were falling on each running inside to get away from the pepper spray, breaking things, and then people left by the back exit,” said Martin Guimond, who runs the Saint Bock brasserie in the city’s lively Latin Quarter.

“My waitress said, ‘we have to call 911.’ And then she said, ‘But wait, it’s the police that are doing this.’ That’s when you realize there’s a total loss of security.”

Stuff like this calls to mind Caetano Veloso’s reminiscences of the Brazilian military dictatorship, during which the police were so notoriously brutal and criminal themselves that the running joke was “Call the thief, the cops are here!”

What’s not so funny is that there really IS a police-state mentality behind all this unnecessary cracking-down:

Police were armed with Bill 78, which lays out regulations governing demonstrations of over 50 people. The bill passed last week includes requiring organizers to give eight hours’ notice for details such as the protest route, the duration and the time at which they’re being held.

The bill was intended to restore order and put an end to three months of student protests, but it appears only to have given the movement momentum.

A demonstration was held Sunday afternoon against Quebec’s new emergency law and another march was planned for later in the evening.

Nothing like a good backfire to show you just how well THAT works, eh?

Meanwhile, it’s a sad day for Canada when police and politicians arbitrarily get to decide just how much free speech is acceptable…and if it exceeds their expectations, they get to start a riot and then blame the demonstrators.

I’m just wondering how long it will be before someone sets fire to the Reichstag — er, National Assembly — and then blames the communists.

PS: Excellent blog post here. Go read!

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Music for a Sunday: What news would you bring?

Perhaps the quintessential springtime song. Justin Hayward is a gem!

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Wankers of the Week: Wankspotting

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Crappy Victoria Day weekend, everyone! (Or crappy May Two-Four Weekend, for those not so monarchistically inclined.) Well, how ’bout them bluejays. Saturday’s here again, and where’ve I been? Out in my garden, digging. And out in the woods along the railroad track, chasing down some wild asparagus. And not getting hit by trains. But somehow I’ve managed to spot a lot of wank in between it all…and here it comes, in no particular order:

1. Manny Fucking Pacquiao. Yes, that’s right, HIM. He might be the greatest boxer since Muhammad Ali (or maybe not; debate!), but one thing’s for sure, he’s taken too many hits to the head. With a bible, not a fist. And it’s only a matter of time before dementia pugilistica claims his ass.

2. Rand Fucking Paul. A fine “libertarian” he turned out to be. Despite being named after a rather well-known atheist, he’s now suddenly all bible-thumpy himself. And of course, the first thing he trots out is the homophobia. Fuck this guy. Seriously. Fuck his ass.

3. John Fucking Derbyshire. Well, at least he’s finally, fully honest about what he is. But he still neglected to admit that he is a fucking WANKER.

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4. Paul Fucking Cameron. Oh, look who’s picked up the “Obama is gay” meme and run with it…straight into wanker territory! So, he thinks all gays should be imprisoned “before they rape kids”? I think he should be imprisoned before he turns them all into evil little wankers. Like himself.

5. James Fucking Lankford. Being gay is not a choice; being a religiously deluded bigot is. And if I were him, I’d watch myself on that latter point. He looks like a screaming closet case to me!

6. Bubba Fucking Carpenter. Will someone please explain to me why potentially lethal coat-hanger abortions are “moral values”? Because if there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that making safe, medical and surgical abortions illegal does not work to stop abortion. It only drives it underground, to where the hemorrhages and infections are. It is not moral, nor is it a value. Unless, of course, your “moral values” consider female martyrdom by back-alley butchery to be somehow virtuous. PS: Ha, ha.

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7. Don Fucking Coram. Smooth move, Ex-Lax. You must really love your gay son if you voted against a bill that would allow him to marry his boyfriend! Nice excuse you made, too. Who’s the political pawn again?

8. Hunter Fucking Moore. Under investigation by the FBI? Gee, who’d of thunk it? Look who’s not so cocky anymore. And who’s threatening to firebomb the Village Voice. Yeah, that’ll really help him. “Is Anyone Upset”, you ask? Ha, not I. He’s got it coming. Karma’s a bitch, and he’s a douche. The two should get along reallllllly well.

9. Joe Fucking Pitts. Please, don’t anyone tell him that Yasir Arafat is long dead. And that Ariel Sharon is as good as, too. The Palestinian people of Gaza and the West Bank are a little bit short of laughingstocks lately.

10. Jack Fucking Conkling. If same-sex marriage is the same as murder, lying, cheating and stealing, then answer me this: Whom has it killed? To whom has it lied, about what? Whom has it cheated, and of what? From whom has it stolen, and what? PS: Pretending you’re a homophobe only because you want the best for others? Fuck that noise.

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11. Jim Fucking Flaherty. Someone please put a pointy hat on him and stand him out in the garden; he’s more useful as a gnome than he is as a finance minister. Maybe that will also give him an incentive to pull his head out of his ass for a change.

12. Todd Fucking Starnes. So, public schools are to blame for kids being smarter and less bigoted? Well, that’s true! But why do you say that like it’s a BAD thing? And if you wanna talk about generational indoctrination, how about the fucking churches, which are clearly behind all the backwardness of YOUR viewpoint?

13. Dean Fucking Del Mastro. No, ripping a CD (copying its contents to another file format, that is) is NOT like stealing anything. If you already OWN the CD, you’ve paid for it. (And those things are, for the most part, damnably overpriced.) If you can’t copy the content to play it on an MP3 player, what good is it? I’ve bought copy-protected CDs I couldn’t play at all because of this idiotic shit. Not just on my computer; on ANYTHING. The theft, in this case, is the money from my pocket for a piece of worthless, useless merchandise. But I don’t expect Dumbass Del Mastro to grasp that.

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14. Mitt Fucking Romney. Another week, another wank. This week, Mittens decided it was somehow a good idea to give a commencement address at an unaccredited, fundie-dumbass “university” for the insular home-schooled. And hey! Way to alienate your donors, Mittens! I’m sure that won’t hurt your plans for a car elevator at all!

15. Maurice Fucking Vellacott. No, Maurice, you cadaverous freak, abortion is not “bullying of the unborn”, or “pre-born”, or whatever other abominable saccharine terms you use to talk about your sickly little fetus fetish. Since when does pregnancy termination involve harassment, hounding, and driving to suicide? Since NEVER. But anti-choice rubbish is definitely bullying when it comes to the forgotten half of humanity…WOMEN.

16. Jason Fucking Kenney. Here’s a suggestion, not that he’s likely to take it: How about NOT lecturing China on its human-rights abuses, and instead dealing with the Harper Government™’s ones? Too much for ya, Jason?

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17. Keith Fucking Ablow. Oh look, FUX Snooze’s resident diploma-mill “doctor” has spoken up on same-sex couples raising kids…AGAIN! And this time, he’s blaming them for polygamy. Somebody please remind him that there were no same-sex couples adopting back in the days when Joseph Smith — a social arch-conservative if ever there was one, and definitely no homo — founded the Mormon Church as a pretext for polygamy, chiefly his own. (And he wasn’t waiting for anyone to make it legal, either. He just claimed scriptural authority, and that was that.)

18. James Fucking Moore. Heaven forfend that children learn to associate sex with — gasp — SCIENCE! — and not dirty immorality. If they did, they might start thinking about it rationally, instead of developing a misplaced Work Ethic to overcompensate for something. Isn’t that how it goes?

19. Donald Fucking Trump. Srsly, how is this ugly-ass douchebag even married? Is his wife really a Stepford fembot, as I suspect she is?

20. Mike Fucking Coffman. What exactly does it mean to be an “American in one’s heart”? I don’t know, but I suspect it has something to do with being white on one’s face.

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21. Brad Fucking Wall. Yes, let’s elevate the Dutch Disease of Alberta to supremacy over all our other industries. Especially the creative arts, which bring needed revenue not only to Bumfuck, Saskatchewan, but all the rest of Canada, too. Not to mention the very real way all that artsy-fartsy shit elevates Canada’s cultural profile on the world stage. But since Tories (and SaskaTories) are notably lowbrow, and apparently value nothing but money and fetuses, I’m sure all that just flies right over their oily little heads.

22. Ted Fucking Opitz. Big fucking whoop, he’s “disappointed”. Yeah, Ted, and so are the voters whose election was stolen right out from under their ballot boxes! By YOUR FUCKING PARTY, Ted!

23. Mario Fucking Vargas Llosa. He may have fucked off for Spain after a failed presidential campaign in his native Peru, but it seems he’s still playing at presidential politics…in ARGENTINA. Where, observant souls may note, he has no business sticking his fingers. Or criticizing the current (and very popular) president, Cristina Fernández, for making the current (and very popular) decision to nationalize Repsol holdings in Argentina, for the benefit of Argentines.

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24. Alvaro Fucking Uribe. And while we’re on the subject of shitty right-wing Latin American ex-politicians going on insane tirades about still-sitting popular leaders, how about this one? Uribe, be it noted, knows doodley-fucking-squat about the murder rates in Venezuela, but that’s not going to stop him from blaming Chavecito. Who, be it noted, isn’t covering anything up; in fact, he’s doing something rather effective about that murder problem (which, in any event, is NOT political). And speaking of which, that reminds me: Didn’t El Narco use to be president of Colombia, a country with well-known high murder rates which, under him, WERE covered up, and included many campesinos later dressed up to look like FARC guerrillas? Why yes, he was! And isn’t he still a known drug trafficker on the DEA’s list? Why yes, he IS! Interesting.

25. Henry Fucking Kissinger. Shouldn’t he be on a no-fly list? He meets all the criteria: Serial killer, mass murderer, genocidal bomber, war criminal…I could go on. But the Fucking US TSA let him through. After a frisking, which, while somewhat satisfying, wouldn’t have been nearly as great as them telling him simply, “No, sir, you won’t be flying today. You’re under arrest!”

26. Gordon Fucking Klingenschmitt. His name is my name t…oops. No, it isn’t. And neither is his cockamamie theory that being gay is down to demon possession (or his interlocutor’s equally loopy insistence that it’s all about Teh Marketing, either). It can’t be said often enough, so I’ll scream it in ALL FUCKING CAPS (and italics, with bolding for extra emphasis): BEING GAY IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN FUCKING CATCH, YOU FUCKING MORONS!!!

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27. Samantha Fucking Brick, AGAIN. Yes, she’s ba-ack! And she’s even more full of shit — er, HERSELF — than ever before. I’m sure the women of France have more than a few choice words of their own for her, but here are mine, all en anglais, and once more, with feeling, ALL FUCKING CAPS, BOLDFACE AND ITALICS: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE HELL AWAY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

28. Phyllis Fucking Schlafly. Thanks again for proving me right when I say that all the anti-choice, anti-feminist conservative groups out there are that way because they’re secretly racist. The only thing wrong with my statement now is that the racism is no secret anymore! How much longer before your Amurrican Frauenschaft starts its own Lebensborn program, Phyl?

29. Ken Fucking Bennett. Another pop-eyed birther freak who “isn’t convinced” that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii. Where do all these people keep coming from? (Please don’t say Kenya.)

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And finally, to all the idiots out there who bought the lies peddled by politicians, police, and right-wing media kept selling us about the G20. This week saw a lot of your bullshit dragged out into the open and exposed for what it is. If you people MUST support a police state, could you at least support one that’s competent and throws the right people into prison? Like, say, the SupposiTory enablers of banksters and oil billionaires who are robbing you all blind while you go baying off after a bunch of minor-league “anarchists”?

Goodnight, and get fucked!

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Festive Left Friday Blogging: Happy Birthday, Augusto César Sandino!

According to Aporrea, today is the 119th birthday of Augusto César Sandino, Nicaraguan revolutionary leader and inspiration to guerrillas all over Latin America. (He in turn drew inspiration from his South American forerunner, Simón Bolívar. Perhaps you’ve heard of him?) Among his trendsetting activities: fighting to get gringo imperialists and their lucrative business interests out of Central America, and advocating for the nationalization of local resources for the benefit of locals. An idea which we now see bearing fruit all over the place, most notably in Venezuela, Bolivia, and most recently, Argentina.

Cake, anyone? Thanks to Sandino’s inspiration, some countries actually have plenty of it to go ’round!

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Quotable: George Carlin on the Ten Commandments

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Here come da bafflegab

Look what landed in my e-mail box today, in re: ACTA (and its equally scuzzy Canadian equivalent):

Dear Sabina,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your electronic correspondence dated May 15, 2012 regarding bill C-11: The Copyright Modernization Act.

The Government of Canada reintroduced the Copyright Modernization Act without changes on September 29, 2011. This fulfills the government’s commitment from the 2011 Speech from the Throne to reintroduce and seek swift passage of the Copyright Modernization Act.

Since 1997, three attempts have been made to amend Canada’s Copyright Act. During the last Parliament, Bill C-32 was introduced by the government in June 2010 but died on the Order Paper. The Bill passed Second Reading and was being reviewed by a legislative committee when an election was called. The legislative committee received over 150 written submissions from stakeholders and heard from over 70 individuals and organizations that appeared as witnesses.

A part of Canada’s Digital Economy Strategy, the Copyright Modernization Act is designed to address the interests of Canadians, from those who create content to the consumers who will benefit from it. Combined with the other legislative initiatives under the Digital Economy Strategy, the bill will contribute to a well functioning digital economy by instilling trust and confidence in the online marketplace and electronic commerce. For creators, the bill proposes strong measures to help them protect their work in the digital environment, notably by implementing the rights and protections of the 1996 World Intellectual Property Organization Internet treaties, including strong legal protections for digital locks, a new liability for those promoting infringement online and making available rights to ensure control of material over the Internet. For users, it provides new and updated exceptions to promote the benefits of new technologies. For intermediaries (e.g., Internet service providers), the bill outlines their responsibilities and potential liability with respect to copyright protection.

In fact, recently, the Government of Canada struck a special committee that would examine all aspects of bill C-11 to ensure that the proposed bill is in the best interest of industry and Canadians alike. If you have further comment or wish to make a submission to the committee, I would encourage you to write to the committee clerk at: CC11@parl.gc.ca.

I would like to once again thank you for your letter and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions or concerns.

Yours truly,

Rick Norlock, MP
Northumberland-Quinte West

Well, he’s polite, I’ll give him that.

Now, can anybody make heads or tails of that? Because it sure sounds to me like “Thanks for your concern, you’ve been heard but you’re still being disregarded. Our minds are already made up, so please don’t try to confuse us with the facts. Yours truly, etc.”

I’ll just let the LOLcats do the talking from now on, how ’bout that?

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Ontario ready to fire the pope; Québec student strike more popular than you knew

Couple of quick education-related items for ya. First, one from my own province, one that spells bad news for institutionalized bigotry:

Ontarians favour the right of students to form gay-straight alliance clubs in Catholic schools by a margin of almost two to one, a new poll suggests.

The Forum Research survey also found more than half of Ontario residents — 53 per cent — oppose the public funding of Catholic schools with 40 per cent supportive and 6 per cent unsure.

As the issue of gay-straight alliances dominates debate around new anti-bullying legislation, the poll concluded people are accepting of the anti-homophobia clubs designed to promote tolerance.

Fifty-one per cent agreed that students in publicly funded Catholic schools should be allowed to form clubs under that sometimes contentious name with 28 per cent opposed and 21 per cent undecided.

“Now that people are more familiar with them, there’s more support for them,” Forum president Lorne Bozinoff told the Star on Tuesday.

Forum’s interactive voice response telephone survey of 1,072 Ontarians was conducted Monday.

And if the Vatican wants to go on indoctrinating kids in bigotry, forcing them to participate in anti-choice bullshit, and consigning at least one in ten of them self-hate and closet-hiding, I suggest it start paying for that out of its own capacious pocket. After all, it’s got its own fucking bank.

Meanwhile, in La Belle Province, the three-month-old student strike has some allies that may surprise some of you:

Surreal scenes at a Quebec college underscored Tuesday how bizarre the student-related conflict has become — and how difficult it might be to resolve.

Consider this: A court order had forced the school to reopen; as a result, some teachers and parents helped striking students form a picket line to keep other kids out; riot police then burst through to help enforce the court order; and, in the end, the school closed again because teachers weren’t prepared to teach.

The height of Tuesday’s standoff at Collège Lionel-Groulx saw riot police use pepper spray and physical force to help 53 students return to class after winning a court injunction.

But the self-described strikers, many of them wearing masks, have received support from some parents and school faculty who stood alongside them in a show of solidarity at the school north of Montreal.

After a few days of picketing, police moved in Tuesday. They issued warnings before bursting in and arresting five people, including a professor from another school.

As they blasted the crowd with chemical irritants, some of the protesters hugged and wept. Some of their adult supporters reportedly did the same.

And it all appeared for nought.

A few hours later, after staff meetings, the college issued a statement: Lionel-Groulx would remain closed for two more days, on Wednesday and Thursday. The professors said they were too emotional to be able to teach classes regularly.

So the school has shut its doors until Friday, at the earliest, at which point a new injunction takes effect.

I suspect that one will also be breached. The strikers are nothing if not monumentally determined, and what they are doing could well catch on elsewhere. Nothing like the tyranny of a good example, which is why the cops are now out in force. But if we have a police state on our hands, we also have huge popular opposition to it…and parents and teachers are part of that opposition.

Meaning, the traditional forces of social conservatism are actually in trouble on more fronts than one!

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Quotable: Frank Lloyd Wright on unionism

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Stupid Sex Tricks: I put a spell on you…

…because you’re mine:

Interesting that this cheaty-pants couple got stuck together in the missionary position. I was kind of expecting doggy-style.

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