News of the Restless

Another paramilitary band busted in Venezuela

Posted on July 20, 2016 by Sabina Becker

caribia-criminals

Thamara Belén Caleño Candelo, 25, and Joshua Anthony Holt, 24, alias “El Gringo”, apparently on their wedding day. Looks like their honeymoon is gonna be short and nasty now, because these two were swept up as part of an anti-paramilitary operation in Venezuela:

The Venezuelan government, by way of Operation Liberation of the People, dismantled a paramilitary band that hid assault weapons and explosives in the urban complex of Ciudad Caribia, located along the Caracas-La Guaira highway, according to the Popular Power minister for Interior Relations Justice and Peace, Gustavo González López.

The minister announced that during the operation, Joshua Anthony Holt, alias “El Gringo”, of US nationality, was captured. Holt had concealed high-calibre weapons, explosives, and strategic maps of Caracas in a high-rise building in Ciudad Caribia. González López revealed that the arrestee had revealed evidence of his adoration of weapons on social media, “proper to the culture imposed upon a large number of US citizens”.

González López announced that an Ecuadorian-Venezuelan, Thamara Belén Caleño Candelo, had also been apprehended. Along with Joshua Anthony Holt, she operated in a paramilitary band called “Los Sindicalistas”, which was broken up on June 30 in Ciudad Caribia, where six of its members were killed. They were identified as Argenis López Quijada, Rodolfo José Manrique, Joél Pérez, Jordan Pérez Castillo, Ricardo Fabian Cruz, and Johan Pérez, the last one recognized as the leader of the criminal gang.

“The foreign couple were living in this city, in a building which, according to social intelligence information, was the niche of the paramilitary crime gang. It was used as a storage centre for assault weapons and explosives. By coincidence, it’s the same strategy used by subjects of other nationalities who infiltrated the buildings of the Gran Misión Vivienda Venezuela, where they planned and executed attacks against the lives of revolutionary leaders,” said González López.

The minister stated that members of this paramilitary gang were responsible for the assassination of the PSUV militant Omar Molina Marín. According to intelligence sources cited by the minister, the building was impenetrable to the authorities.

The minister declared that Thamara Belén Caleño Candelo and Joshua Anthony Holt, alias “El Gringo”, were married in the parish of Leoncio Martínez, in the Sucre municipality of the state of Miranda. This area is under the jurisdiction of the far-right mayor Carlos Oscaríz, of the Primero Justicia party, who constantly travels out of country. González López underscored that from August 2015 to May 2016, Thamara Belén Caleño Candelo traveled to Ecuador, Colombia and the Dominican Republic on numerous occasions.

“At this last destination, she met Holt, who financed her travels, and who also travelled constantly as a missionary to various destinations in Latin America,” said González López. Five days after the last trip, to the Dominican Republic, and after “a strange Internet relationship”, the two criminals were married.

Translation mine.

Some “missionary” this Holt guy turns out to be. According to Notisur24.com, he and his spouse were found in possession of “an AK-47, an M4 type facsimile, cash (bolivars and dollars), photographic cameras, portable computers, and airline tickets”. Photos of the weapons and other items can be seen here. Pretty sure a real, innocent missionary would have no use for assault weapons, eh? Much less equipment used in espionage and paramilitary assassinations. And I seriously doubt an innocent missionary would be hanging out with the same band that killed Omar Molina.

Funny, too, how “missionaries” of this sort keep cropping up in Venezuela: Foreign, paid in US dollars (and lots of them), and with a penchant for killing prominent, popular PSUV members like Omar Molina…and Robert Serra, who was murdered by a band of thugs led by a bastard known to his colleagues as “El Colombia”.

And funniest of all, how little of this news makes it up this far north. Because guess who it makes look terrible? Oh, only the same country that keeps finding new and innovative ways to finance these oh-so-peaceful and democratic anti-Chavistas.

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Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't That Illegal?, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

Music for a Sunday: The only song for times like these

Posted on July 17, 2016 by Sabina Becker

And if you think it can’t snow in July in the Northern Hemisphere, just ask Idaho. They had a blizzard this past week.

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Venezuelan economic minister: Kimberly-Clark lied!

Posted on July 16, 2016 by Sabina Becker

Venezuelan Kimberly-Clark workers denounce the corporation for abruptly pulling out, leaving them without work.

So, what have we here? Oh, nothing…just a whole lot of full containers of raw materials, and a bunch of lying buffoons who fucked off out of Venezuela, leaving their workers in the lurch. And you wonder why the government and the fired workers took the plant over? Wonder no more:

Warehouses full of raw materials were found at the Kimberly-Clark factory in Venezuela, which the government is administering as of Monday, with the support of its former workers. The merchandise in question will be distributed for sale via the Local Committees for Supply and Production (CLAP), and private establishments, said Miguel Pérez Abad, the vice-president for the Economic Area, on Friday.

For the remaining six months of the year, the minister confirmed that the former US-based business will be able to count on supplies under its new management, and will not stop producing personal hygiene products, unlike what the former owners did who closed the factory last Saturday, alleging they didn’t have materials.

“The government did not expropriate the company installations, they occupied it because its proprietors violated the laws of the land when they decided to paralyze operations and mass-fire the workers,” said Pérez Abad.

Translation mine.

So, there you have it: Kimberly-Clark lied when they said they had no materials. They had a factory full of them. What was the real reason? Well, according to Telesur, this might be a clue:

Venezuela’s President Nicolas Maduro said on Monday that Citibank NA C.UL, planned to shut his government’s foreign currency accounts within a month, denouncing the move by one of its main foreign financial intermediaries as part of a “blockade.”

“With no warning, Citibank says that in 30 days it will close the Central Bank and the Bank of Venezuela’s accounts,” Maduro said in a speech, adding that the government used the U.S. bank for transactions in the United States and globally.

“Do you think they’re going to stop us with a financial blockade? No, gentlemen. No one stops Venezuela.”

Yeah, the Venezuelan government might want to find a new bank to do its forex business with. One that doesn’t screw over its customers, as Citibank has done repeatedly over the years. Yeah, that’s a lot of links. And yet, it’s just a tiny snippet of what I found when I went looking for evidence. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that Citibank has such a well-known track record for sucking its customers dry that I’m surprised that Venezuela still had anything to do with them at all. They should have cut Citi off while Chavecito was still in office. Why they didn’t is a mystery to me. I can’t wait to see who they’ll tap to be the gainer to Citi’s self-imposed loss.

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Posted in Banksters, Bullies, Economics for Dummies, Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

Wankers of the Week: All Lives Chatter

Posted on July 15, 2016 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, this week, we finally, definitively found out that All Lives Matter, and that some matter more than others. Still. So, what’s new? Not much. Wankers are still wanking, same as ever. And this week, it was:

1. Glenn Fucking Beck. Oh look, everyone, Biff has ugly little chin-whiskers now! And his opinions are still shitty, too! And no, Biff, God isn’t sending anything, nor does She have any intention of rescuing you from the consequences. That “chaos” you see is Karma at work, giving you back — yes, you personally, since you personally contributed — the shit you put out, muliplied a thousandfold. You don’t want any more shit? Then stop spewing it. Problem solved!

2. Buck Fucking Sexton. Who? Oh, just some white pissant that Van Jones squelched on TV the other night for trying to blame Black Lives Matter for a murder spree none of them committed. Nobody, in other words!

3. Harry Fucking Houck. Police racism doesn’t matter? Tell that to the families of all the black victims of police brutality. Or, in other words: Tell them that their loved ones don’t matter.

4. Paula Fucking White. How predictably ironic is it that Der Drumpf’s presumptive “spritual advisor” turns out to be a money-grubbing charlatan? And that she stole her “resurrection seed” idea from a series of books which most right-wing Christofascists abhor? Very? That’s what I thought, too.

5. Alex Fucking Jones. Of COURSE he has an opinion on who really fired those cop-killing shots in Dallas. It was George Soros! And lizard people! And oogitaboogitaboogita! Yup, that final brain hemorrhage is getting closer all the time, folks!

6. Jim Fucking Minardi. Aw, how patriotic and heroic of him to defend an openly treasonous coward who threatened the POTUS on the tweeter. Hope you enjoy your little visit from the Secret Service, Jimmy!

7. Dan Fucking Patrick. When a respected local broadcaster calls you out for being an idiot — you a IDIOT, son. And that goes double if a local top cop also does it.

8. Sarah Fucking Palin. Oh look, she’s drunk again. And projecting again. And babbling word soup again. Go home, Quitbull, and STAY THERE.

9. Andrea Fucking Leadsom. She’s not a feminist because that word “abuses men”? Well, then. Good thing she’s also not the British PM, eh?

10. Tim Fucking Hudak. Why?

That’s why. White conservatives putting words into black demonstrators’ mouths AND stating blatant untruths about racist cops? Timmeh, you’re not part of the solution. You are the problem. STOP IT.

11. Laura Fucking Herrick. Shorter: Don’t want to get raped, girls? Don’t drink so much. Then no one will mistake you for that woozy slut who always gets passed around from fratboy to fratboy at keggers! Gee. I wonder why this little thinkpiece of hers got pulled so fast. Could it be…SEXISM?

12. Jimmy Fucking Morris. Those “idiots” you were planning to run over are PEOPLE, dumbass. People whose lives matter. And if you have a problem with that, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. Because, as a (ahem: FORMER) fire chief, it’s your job to save lives, not end them.

13. Phil Fucking Robertson. Pedophile who married a child says WHAT? Gay people are responsible for 160,000 murders, thanks to same-sex marriage? Nuh-unh, fuckass. Gun nuts like YOU, who can’t stop shooting people — THAT’s who’s responsible.

14. Avigdor Fucking Lieberman. Guess who appointed that god-awful rabbi who said it was okay for the IDF to rape non-Jewish women? Yup. THIS guy. This schmuck. This fucking putz.

15. George W. Fucking Bush. Dubya’s been tucked away from sight for a long time, and it’s not hard to see why. He’s gone from a dry drunk to a full-on damp one. When he was briefly wheeled out of retirement for an interfaith memorial service for the five cops shot in Dallas, what did he do? Bopped around like he was at a rock concert. One half expected to see him flick his Bic, and it was only Michelle Obama, bless her, bravely holding him back. That look of sheer embarrassment on her face just said it all, didn’t it?

16. Tomi Fucking Lahren. If the US is indeed “more divided than ever before”, it’s not because of Barack Obama and his black attorneys-general, much less “demons”. It’s because of racist white wankers like Y-O-U, you fucking idiot. YOU are the fucking demon.

17. Sean Fucking Hannity. And speaking of racist demons, how about this one? Yup, the Baby Jesus is illiterate, because he can’t seem to understand that “Black Lives Matter” does not have the word “Only” in there, ANYWHERE. Anybody want to teach this racist moron to read?

18. Donald Fucking Drumpf. No, stupid, the Bernie Bros and Bernie-dettes won’t be voting for you. They want the smart one, remember? PS: D’awww. Did the Notorious RBG scare you? Diddums!

19. Remigio Fucking Pereira. No, you douche-faced walking embarrassment, you do NOT get to hijack our national anthem with your own (crappy!) lyrics. Much less to dismiss a legitimate anti-racist movement — which, FYI, happens to include people of all colors, not just blacks! And who the hell told you you were “the great”, anyhow? Whoever it was, they’re idiots. And so are YOU.

20. Mike Fucking Huckabee. Never mind black lives, says Hucky Fudd — what about teh menz? Well, no one can ever accuse him of being abreast of the times, can they? Much less can anyone accuse him of knowing how to parse a set of statistics. Hucky, stop trying to be relevant and just go the fuck away.

21. Rick Fucking Wiles. Pokémon, tool of Satan? Gee, where have I heard that before? Oh yeah…back in the days when it was Dungeons & Dragons. Which is still being played today, but have you ever noticed that the Religious Reich has NOTHING to say about it anymore? Everytime there’s a popular new toy, game or book, they just have to jack off all over it, because it’s proof that they and their odious religion do not and never will have a monopoly on young people’s minds.

22. Pat Fucking McCrory. If you thought his anti-LGBT laws were bad, wait’ll you get a load of his plan to protect the police from the public…and public scrutiny. Never mind that photography and filming aren’t crimes. Ol’ Pattyboy is determined to make them that. Because, as everyone knows, the police are never aggressors, so there’s never any reason to monitor them stringently…

23. Chris Fucking Christie. Pro tip: If you’re serious about being POTUS one day, try not to do what you accuse your rivals of doing. And also, try not to do it worse and more than they do! (Hear that, Dubya?)

24. Richard Fucking Land. If you ever wondered why I think the US should start forcing churches to pay taxes, just get a load of how they’re meddling in politics. This guy should be the first to start paying. (And Ted Fucking Cruz should be disbarred, not installed on the SCOTUS.)

25. Monika Fucking Schaefer. Not knowing something is happening does NOT mean it didn’t happen. You can’t see the air. Does it not exist? Then what are you breathing? Same goes for Holocaust denial. Just because it didn’t happen right under your nose, doesn’t mean it never happened. Idiot.

26. Amer Fucking Saka. Of all the people who ought to know better, a Chaldean priest shouldn’t be stealing money intended to help bring refugees to safety. Not only is it uncharitable, it also goes against the vow of poverty!

27. Dani Fucking Mathers. So. How does the 2015 Plaything of the Year follow up on her silicone success? By body-shaming a woman who obviously hasn’t had nearly as much plastic surgery while she’s changing in the locker room at the gym. Yeah, you really seem very secure in your own looks, sweetie. And your lame excuses are washing like a machine load of raw sewage. I don’t believe for an instant that “this” is not who you are…because what you do when you think you won’t get caught is EXACTLY who you are! PS: Privacy violation is a crime. Sign, sign, SIGN.

28. Theodore Fucking Shoebat. How much longer do you suppose it will be before his profile appears on a gay dating app, or he’s caught with a rentboy? Place your bets, ladies ’n’ gents.

29. Jeanine Fucking Pirro. No, stupid, racism in the US wasn’t “primarily fixed” when Barack Obama was elected (and re-elected). It hasn’t been “fixed” in the slightest. If anything, it’s gotten worse since then. Three guesses as to why…and no, stupid, it’s not because of anything HE did.

30. Josh Fucking Duggar. When you’re saved by your full quiver, you can get away with anything…including rape. Isn’t that right, Cow Boy?

And finally, to the fucking FBI. Yes, that’s right, the gang that can’t shoot straight. And this week, someone there (who? I dunno, the source is unnamed) claimed that the Pulse nightclub wasn’t targeted because it was a gay club. Even though the shooter was a regular there, and mad at gay Latinos for “using him for sex”, somehow the fact that it’s a specifically gay-slanted nightspot isn’t a factor in the massacre? My mind, it boggleth, yea verily.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Venezuelan government cracks down on corrupt bakeries and distributors

Posted on July 13, 2016 by Sabina Becker

no-bread

“No bread until further notice.”

A sign out of Les Misérables? Not quite. This was in Caracas, Venezuela…where a government minister and his hard-working team of inspectors are now cracking down on bakeries displaying similar signs while hoarding and hiding precious materials from the public, and artificially holding down the supply of basic staples like bread. Story, via Aporrea:

William Contreras, National Superintendent for the Defence of Socio-Economic Rights (SUNDDE), announced last Friday that during the previous 48 hours, 171 bakeries throughout Venezuela had been sanctioned for boycotting, hoarding, unsanitary conditions, restriction of wares, and conditionality of sale.

He made the announcement from the “Gran Majestic II” bakery, located in the La Campiña sector of Caracas, which was one of 848 locations inspected by SUNDDE’s legal authorities throughout the land. “Fines totalling 15.6 million bolivars were applied.”

Contreras emphasized that the objective of the operation is to guarantee the Venezuelan people opportune access and fair pricing, by way of inspection, auditing, and attention to the distribution of wheat flour, baking, and sales of bread.

“There are no reasons for the owners of bakeries to apply these mechanisms of restriction of offerings when the Venezuelan state, via the popular ministry for food, has guaranteed basic raw materials such as wheat flour. In addition, we have sat down with them to converse and attend to their problems.”

During the inspection of the Gran Majestic II bakery, inspectors observed that the bakery restricted the availability of bread, via electronic cards handed out to sell the product, without providing a sufficient quantity of the same for the demand of the clients, who stood in long lines, showing an understandable collective resentment.

The Public Ministry was asked to detain citizen Antonio Maizo de Sousa for the illegal activities observed in the establishment, such as unsanitary conditions (in violation of Article 48 of the Organic Law of Fair Pricing), speculation (Article 49), boycotting (Article 53), conditionality of sale (Article 56), and restriction of offerings (Article 7, Paragraph 3).

Recently, 27,000 tons of wheat flour from Canada arrived in Venezuela, aimed at bread production. For this reason, Contreras explained, inspections of bakeries and distribution outlets would continue.

“We are also auditing those business which distribute this item to bakeries, as we have received denunciations of conditional sales and restriction of sales.”

Contreras exhorted the Venezuelan public to exercise their rights and denounce any irregularities at 0-800-LO-JUSTO (0800-565-8786), and the Twitter account @Sundde_ve.

Translation mine.

Here’s a video in which we can see that the bakery mentioned above is very much an offender:

They were hiding and hoarding at least 100 sacks of wheat flour, along with an undisclosed amount of sugar and butter, while claiming there was “no bread until further notice”. Stinks of bachaqueo, no?

What do you bet that the owner of the business has ties to the opposition? This kind of tactic has their pugmarks all over it. And it’s just one of the many ways they’re trying to foment unrest and dissatisfaction with the Maduro administration throughout the land. But, as we can see, the government is fighting back, and exposing a lot of scurrying cockroaches in the process.

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Posted in Economics for Dummies, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Socialism is Good for Capitalism! | Comments Off

Venezuelan workers to Kimberly-Clark bullies: Screw you, we’re producing!

Posted on July 12, 2016 by Sabina Becker

Video of the Venezuelan government approving the request of Kimberly-Clark workers to occupy the factory and resume production, using materials provided by the government. Story via Aporrea:

On Monday, the Venezuelan government ordered the occupation of the US company, Kimberly-Clark, following its announcement of the stoppage of production of personal hygiene items.

“We will proceed to sign the request the workers made of us, in which we plan the immediate occupation of the Kimberly-Clark of Venezuela facility on the part of the workers”, stated the minister of labor, Oswaldo Vera, at the company plant in Maracay, in the state of Aragua.

Vera warned other companies that they could do the same, asserting that “a company which is closed, is a company which will be occupied by its workers. We invite the workers to accompany us in activating the machinery.”

The US-based multinational announced the indefinite suspension of its operations in Venezuela on Saturday, alleging a “persistent deterioration in economic conditions”, inability to buy source materials, high inflation, and difficulties accessing foreign currency in the land.

The paralyzation of production by the company will affect the Venezuelan market, which is already suffering an acute shortage of personal hygiene products.

Translation mine.

So, it looks like the bullies of US industry won’t be shutting Venezuela down, as has clearly been their objective since the current round of economic warfare began. For all their moaning about the economic situation in Venezuela, it’s companies like these that are actually causing all the trouble. It’s not the Maduro government, and it’s not the workers. It’s the foreign corporations and their local lackeys in business and parliament who are the problem, and the common people of Venezuela, with their demands to occupy the factories (which the Maduro government approved, oh what tyrants!) who are fighting back.

Fun fact: This occupation follows an example that’s been prevalent in Argentina since the early 2000s. Only there, the government wasn’t helping the workers, since it was in the pockets of the international capital markets. It was up to the workers to collectivize and take up production themselves. And they did, as this little Canadian documentary makes clear:

And back then, Argentina didn’t yet have Venezuela there to bail it out and get it out of its creditors’ predatory clutches. Now Argentina is back in that hole, and no Chavecito to help…and Venezuela is teetering on the brink of the same. But one thing IS different in Venezuela: The government (NOT the National Assembly, which is dominated by right-wing assholes) is on the side of the workers, and approves of their plans to collectively take over the factories that foreign corporations seem determined to abandon. And it supports their initiative to do without those bosses, and get the country on its feet again. It’s even working hard to secure supplies so that those workers aren’t beholden to corporate foot-draggers.

Imagine that: a government that supports the grassroots, as well as vice versa! A government that approves workers’ initiatives, rather than stifling them on behalf of foreign capital and foreign corporate owners! Careful, media crapmeisters, don’t report that…because this is one good example that could seriously catch on.

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Posted in Bullies, Don't Cry For Argentina, Economics for Dummies, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Socialism is Good for Capitalism!, The United States of Amnesia | 2 Comments

Quotable: Chris Hani on socialism

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Sabina Becker

chris-hani-on-socialism

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Music for a Sunday: One for my current state

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Sabina Becker

Requires no further explanation, I should think.

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Wankers of the Week: Wrexit, Part D’oh!

Posted on July 8, 2016 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, I wasn’t really planning on doing a wankapedia this week, what with surgery on Wednesday and all (if you’re reading this right now, it means I got through it fine, thanks). But here I am, because the wankers don’t quit wanking, and as long as they’re at it…I’m on it. And this week it was, in no particular order:

1. Nigel Fucking Farage. He may have stood down as UKIP party Dear Leader, but not before the damage was done. Can you believe this guy? He’s not even following the Pottery Barn Rule. He broke it, but he didn’t buy it, because why own your everlasting shame? But that shame’s still gonna follow him around wherever he goes, so sorry, not sorry, Nigel. You’re a motherfucker till the end of time, and you know it. PS: Ha, ha.

2. Kim Fucking Davis. Hey! Remember her? She’s hoping you don’t. But the Internets never forget. Ha, ha.

3. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. Why?

That’s why. Fat-shaming at a gym? Sure, that’ll really make those pounds melt off that unnamed person in the background. Maybe someone should shame Yeah-Nope for that ugly, strawy hair of his. With any luck, it might even fall out by itself!

4. Robin Fucking Camp. It’s gonna take a lot more than just counselling to get rid of Hizzoner’s ugly sexism problem. And in the meantime, there’s no shortage of qualified candidates for the bench he’s vacated. Shove off, judge!

5. Jennifer Fucking Mayers, again. No, of course she’s not racist. You’re the racist one for pointing it out, you evil meanies! She really LOVES black people. Never mind all that talk about how the “races” shouldn’t mix. And by all means, ignore her endorsement of murder. See how easy it is to be a True Bible-Believin’ Christian™? PS: UGH.

6. Anthony Fucking Rebello. He’s the one and only, very lonely, attendee of a “Heterosexual Pride” rally in Seattle. And of course, he felt compelled to apologize IF he offended anyone. Idiocy and conditional nopology: two shitty tastes that taste even shittier together!

7. Robert-Falcon Fucking Ouellette. He spent the better part of an hour arguing FOR a guaranteed basic income, and then ended up voting against it. Flipflops: worst footwear of the summer, and in Parliament, too!

8. Bill Fucking Cosby. No, you don’t get your hush money back. Your “agreement” is null and void, since it was struck in order to conceal a crime. Don’t like it? Too bad. You don’t get to buy your way out of prosecution!

9. Kevin Fucking O’Leary. There once was a turd in Nantucket…and it was him, celebrating the Fourth of July and completely forgetting Canada Day. Tell me again why you want to be the next SupposiTory prime minister of Canada, Kevvy.

10. Don Fucking Christy. Just what every Fourth of July parade needs…a racist in a straw wig, masquerading as a “patriot”, driving a tasteless racist golf-kart with bullshit all over the back of it in the name of racism — oh sorry, “political incorrectness” and “freedom”. ‘Murica!

11. Louise Fucking Linton. Wow. I never knew there were Hutus and Tutsis in the Congo, much less in Zambia. I thought they were in Rwanda. Silly me! I’ve never had the privilege of a “gap year” anywhere, much less in Africa, so I guess all that geography I learned at school and all those news reports from over 20 years ago must have been a complete lie, eh? Gosh, imagine what actual Zambians must think to have learned all that about themselves! PS: Ha, ha.

12. Ted Fucking Busiek. If you thought all the dumbest Drumpf supporters came from the Deep South, you’re wrong. This one’s a Masshole. But hey! Now that we know where he stands, we don’t have to work very hard to explain how he torpedoed his own chances of ever being elected.

13. Eric Fucking Greitens. Pretty sure selling fake hunting permits — even as a campaign publicity stunt — is illegal in Missouri, isn’t it?

14. Pauline Fucking Hanson. Welcome to One Nation’s Australia! Come for the racism, stay for the antivaxxer fuckassery! Plenty of hardcore stoooopid to go ‘round, Down Under!

15. Jason Fucking Kenney. Meanwhile, here in the Great not-so-white North, Closet Boy has poked his head out the door of his armoire just long enough to squawk something about COMMUNISM! And BOHEMIANS! Jason, please come out of there. And get out more, wouldja? Your fashion sense sucks, so you have no right to criticize what anyone else wears. PS: Ha, ha!

16. Esther Fucking Levy. Oh, you got kicked out of a Mexican restaurant for being a Drumpfite boor in an ugly hat and a flag-desecrating shirt? Gee, that must be rough.

17. Charles Fucking Chaput. Oh, remarried couples can now rejoin in Catholic communion, but only if they live “as brother and sister”? That’s awfully generous of you. But somehow, I don’t think that’s what His Holiness meant when he said “be more accepting”, Your Archbishopness.

18. Andy Fucking Smarick. Why?

That’s why. No, dude, the singular they is not an affront to grammar. Shakespeare and Jane Austen both used it. You know what IS an affront? Your pompous ignorance, that’s what!

19. Ivanka Fucking Drumpf. No, dear, your dad is NOT a feminist. He is everything feminists are working hard to dismantle in this world. And, FFS — he has even humiliated YOU sexually, in front of a live TV audience. Doesn’t that count for anything?

20. Eric Fucking Drumpf. Meanwhile, another of Der Drumpf’s idiot spawn is proposing his sister, Wanker #19, as Daddy-O’s prospective running mate. On what grounds? Looks alone. The gross jokes just write themselves, don’t they?

21. Donald Fucking Drumpf. How many anti-semitic tweets has he retweeted now? Anyone keeping count? Way to appeal to the inbred moron demographic, Donnie.

22. Virginia Fucking Ludy. So, “equal treatment” of disabled people means making them pay an unaffordable full price for CNE admission? Honey, if you’re such a great believer in THAT brand of equality, then try living on a salary equal to what the average disabled person’s income adds up to, and see how far it gets YOU.

23. Kimberly Fucking Brinton. Dumbass, that NO SMOKING sign on the gas pumps is there for a reason. And the reason is so that idiots like you don’t set yourselves and everyone else around them on fire, not so that you get mad and start dousing someone who points it out to you with gas and then trying to set them on fire!

24. Johnny Fucking Oleksinski. No, dude, your generation doesn’t suck. You do, but it has nothing to do with the timespan in which you were born. It might, however, have to do with the fact that you write for a right-wing rag, and have also gone on a right-wing TV channel to rag all over your generation, which is facing crippling debt levels AND the lowest take-home pay since the slave era. Last thing they need is you sucking up to the “Me Generation”, who are not your friends. And if you doubt me, ask any other Gen Xer.

25. Alisyn Fucking Camerota. Victim-blame much, white lady from the Chicken Noodle Network? Would you be asking about the criminal records of a white guy shot dead for no reason by cops? No, of course you wouldn’t…and that probably because precious few white guys get shot dead for no reason by cops. Or even get shot dead with good reason by cops.

26. Matt Fucking Forney. A black man is killed by cops for no reason. His girlfriend catches it all on camera. Matty’s theory? This graphic and very real murder was “staged” by Black Lives Matter “as part of their mission to slander whites”. As though racist white cops needed any help in looking terrible. Or, indeed, any racist white person…like, oh, say, Matty himself, who is one ugly mofo.

27. Pat Fucking Buchanan. “White America has begun to die”? Well, speaking as a white Canadian who is sick of living next to that shit, all I can say is GOOD. And why oh why the hell is this fucking fossil not dead yet?

28. Joe Fucking Walsh. Holy crap bubbles, looks like the racist is out of the bag. “Real America”? That, too, is a concept that can go die in a fire, for all I care. His idea of reality is one that I don’t want to live next to. If open threats to a black president are the new normal, FUCK THAT NOISE. Watch out yourself, racist congresscritter — the voters are coming for your ass.

29. Michael Fucking Elsbury. Black lives don’t matter, but “blue” ones do? When they start talking about “pulling a Ferguson”, i.e. killing innocent people just for being black and wearing saggy pants, “blue lives” don’t matter to me anymore, either.

30. Michael Fucking Strickland. Oh look, another ground-stander standing his ground against people who weren’t actually threatening him. Unless by “threatening”, you mean to say “trying to talk a deranged Drumpfite gun nut and chronic Internet harassotron down”.

And finally, to all the right-wing shitbirds trying to take advantage of the Dallas sniper shootings to try to smear Black Lives Matter, or any other antiracist group. Special dishonorable mention to all the ones who use “cuck” unironically on Twitter, and make reference to The Turner Diaries. Instead of a “day of the rope”, how about a nice little Night of the Long Knives, strictly amongst yourselves? That would clean up the gene pool considerably.