News of the Restless

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 30

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Sabina Becker

prism-snowden

“PRISM. Coups d’état. Data of non-allied governments. Data of allied governments. Presidential intimacies. Narco-information. Global passwords. Hyper-Trojan viruses. Bombing co-ordinates. Secret bases. Infiltrated agents. Double agents. Counter-triple-agent double agents. Transactions. Social networks. Lottery results.”

Welcome to the 30th installment of VenOpIronía! Lots of hilarious ironies to wade through today, kiddies, so let’s get to it. First up, a little message from the Vatican to the oppos, and to their supporters in the church hierarchy…namely, a cease-and-desist order:

During a recent trip to the Vatican by the Apostolic Nuncio to Venezuela, Pietro Parolini, Pope Francis asked him to tell the Venezuelan ecclesiastical hierarchy not to mix itself up in politics, nor to take sides.

Pope Francis also asked Parolini to use his good offices to intervene so that the student opposition members who are still camped up in the Apostolic Nunciature in a “hunger strike” leave the place. “The Nunciature cannot continue to be used by any political partisans of Venezuela. This is not our role as church of Christ, which must serve toward reconciliation,” said the Pontifex to his representative in Venezuela.

Immediately upon his return to Venezuela, Parolini expressed his disagreement with the “hunger strike” held by student and opposition leaders of the University of Los Andes, during his speech in the 100th Venezuelan Episcopal Assembly, in Caracas. Another surprising detail is the invitation from the Nuncio to the Minister of the Interior, Justice and Peace, Rodríguez Torres, to attend the assembly.

It is known that Pietro Parolini has already informed of the Pope’s wishes to the rest of the ecclesiastic hierarchy in the land, and asked the students who are still in the Nunciature to abandon the seat and end the protest, seeking out dialogue with the national government to solve the crisis, which has pitted university authorities of opposition tendencies against the government of President Nicolás Maduro.

Last April, during the Regina Caeli oration, Pope Francis asked the violent protesters of Venezuela to seek the “path of peace”, and exhorted politicians and the populace to “reject firmly any type of violence, and establish a dialogue based in truth, in mutual recognition.”

Translation mine.

And when you have a pope with such a sniffy reptutation for his activities (or lack of same) during the ugly days of the Argentine Junta saying that, you know that something has turned. This is the same Venezuelan apostolic nunciature that has shielded cop-raping thugs like Nixon Moreno from Venezuelan justice in the past, without so much as a peep of protest from Rome. And the archbishops and cardinals of Venezuela have long been in the pocket of the anti-Chavista oligarchy. The last two popes tolerated and indulged their putschism; this one has made it known that he won’t. (Perhaps he learned something from Argentina’s past? Let us pray…)

So, it looks as though the oligarchy has been taken down a peg by the topmost tier of the church hierarchy…the same that for the past ten years or more has been supporting them tacitly while the Venezuelan archbishops have been supporting them openly. I had no hope of anything changing before this, so this was kind of a nice surprise. Looks like Pope Francis might just be good for something besides talk, after all.

Meanwhile, at Boing Boing, there’s an oppo sneering at Edward Snowden’s choice of Venezuela as a place of refuge, and kvetching about how she and her mother had one of their little putschist bitch sessions wiretap-recorded and played back to the public on TV. She makes out like they’re just ordinary citizens being spied on irrationally by a paranoid government out to “get” them, but read down far enough, and you’ll see that they most certainly are not:

My mother, Maruja Tarre, was an outspoken critic of the Chavez government and she is often on television commenting on Venezuelan foreign policy. She is a columnist for the country’s oldest newspaper, El Universal, and is followed by thousands on Twitter. What happened to us would be like if a Fox News talk show acquired and then aired a tape of Donna Brazile telling her daughter the Democratic Party strategy seems to be failing.

Nice attempt to co-opt the Dems and make out like VTV is FUX Snooze there, Isabel Lara. But it’s not only disingenuous, it’s utterly full of shit. The real FUX Snooze of Venezuela is Globovisión, a privately owned opposition channel, and the paper Maruja Tarre writes for, El Universal, is a far-right rag in the same vein as that station, and the Washington Times. A more apt comparison is if a group of Republican conspirators against Barack Obama were exposed in all their whiny glory on PBS.

And yes, I have heard those bitch sessions myself on both La Hojilla and Dando y Dando, and they did not sound like they were “edited to ridicule” anyone. They were placed in context, and if the speakers sounded ridiculous, it’s because they just ARE. Opposition marches against Chávez were invariably flaccid and poorly attended; the popular support was never there, and these two knew it. And they were pissed off at the fact. Even in Washington, where there’s far more sympathy for their viewpoint than there is in Caracas, these people come off as petulant rich brats who throw periodic tantrums and are still not terribly convincing. There are only so many times you can threaten to hold your breath and turn blue, after all. And their racism is well known to the world at large, and unlikely to be appreciated by a US president who, like Chavecito, is of mixed race.

Above all, though, I’m laughing at them for their inability to recognize the tremendous irony inherent in their whole pitiyanki stance. They hate their own country, and worship the United States; it’s their idea of a capitalist paradise of freedom of speech, association, guns, overpriced (and surprisingly shoddy) healthcare and education, and general farcical insanity. And yet, there too, they were indubitably being wiretapped, spied on, and having their privacy invaded nine ways till Friday. Nobody was, or is, exempt. The NSA spied on Chavecito for several years, and the CIA is well known to have supported every opposition “protest”, including the ones that led up to the failed coup of ’02. The US is not merely another police state; it’s a global police EMPIRE.

And yet this ridiculous twit, Isabel Lara, thinks Venezuela is the “surveillance state”, when its authorities were only doing due diligence on a group of known right-wing putschists with US ties, who repeatedly tried to murder President Chávez, and who are now trying to do the same to President Maduro — under the same old “protest” smokescreen as ever?

No, I don’t expect them to understand THAT irony, either.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Isn't That Racist?, Obamarama!, Spooks, The "Well, DUH!" Files, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

Spanish twits laugh at Evo

Posted on July 8, 2013 by Sabina Becker

This is simply disgusting.

They made fun of the kidnapping of Evo Morales at the hands of the Spanish government, one of the colonies of the European Union in the power of the United States. Nothing new in the Spanish media, since this sort of thing is common on every occasion.

The actors in this scene on Spanish TV appear in the following order:

Mamen Mendizabal, Miguel Ángel Aguilar, Daniel Montero, Rubén Amón, Alberto Carnero, Ana Ibáñez, Julio César Herrero, Graciano Palomo, Antonio Papell, Ángel Expósito, Bernabé Sánchez-Minguet José Hervás.

Translation mine.

Go ahead and giggle, silly EuroPeons. You’re all vassals and you don’t even know it. But Evo does, and so do I. And I’m sure we both feel the same mixture of pity and contempt for every one of you.

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Posted in All About Evo, EuroPeons, Fascism Without Swastikas, Isn't It Ironic?, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia, Under the Name of Spain | Comments Off

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 29

Posted on July 8, 2013 by Sabina Becker

Oh, those charming Venezuelan oppos. So patriotic! So mindful of what’s best for their country, and never wanting anything less. So tell me, then…if they’re really all that (and a bag of chips), why are they doing…THIS?

Faced with the certainty of their next electoral failure in the municipal elections of December 8, the Venezuelan right “is accelerating its plans, because the order is to throw the country into chaos during the time remaining until the next elections,” said Venezuelan journalist José Vicente Rangel in a denunciation on Sunday.

The journalist exhorted the national government and democratic society to continue reinforcing civility, along with the political parties aligned with the Revolution, and the Bolivarian National Armed Forces (FANB).

“You have to be alert and aware. You have the obligation and the responsibility to avert every attempt to subvert constitutional and public order, and against the Bolivarian Constitution,” said Rangel, during his program “José Vicente Today”, on Televen.

Rangel also indicated that the putschist plans have become evident through the deliberately inciting language of destabilization, constant attacks on the institutions of the state, and the global tours of right-wing spokespeople attacking the national government.

These intentions were exposed in the recent audio of a conversation between right-wing deputy María Corina Machado and historian Germán Carrera Damas, in which she laments how the plans of a coup against the government of President Maduro have failed.

Five warplanes, from a lot of 18, bought by Venezuelan businessmen who are fugitives from Venezuelan justice and financing the putschist actions of the right, are being held at a Colombian military base controlled by the United States.

During the “Confidential” section of his show, Rangel warned that the conspiracy against Venezuela by the local and international right is growing ever larger. He said that these businessmen are members of the “Gente del Petróleo”, a group of ex-managers of the national oil company PDVSA, who are responsible for the oil sabotage of 2002-3.

“The far right of Colombia, the Uribistas, the powerful economic interests, retired militaries, communication media, the oil company Pacific Rubiales, and the intense activities of the Venezuelan opposition who move freely in the neighboring land, are converting Colombia into a base of operations against Venezuela,” said Rangel.

Translation mine. Linkage added.

So. Now we see that MariCori, that poor little rich girl of the conveniently timed nose job, has not just been trotting to Colombia to whine and sulk about how oppressed she is and elicit sympathy from the parliament in Bogotá, but to make sure that the first wave of the opposition’s privately-owned fleet of putschist fighter planes is safely stowed away.

And now we also know why Colombia suddenly became a part of NATO (official weasel-words here), even though it’s not sitting on the shores of the North Atlantic at all, but the Caribbean. It’s all part of that same old grand scheme to take back Venezuela’s oil…not for the people of Venezuela to whom it already rightfully belongs, but the extremely rich who already have more shit than they know how to flush down their gold-plated crappers.

Patriotismo de mierda, as usual.

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Posted in El NarcoPresidente, Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia | 1 Comment

Music for a Sunday: If this dream would stay

Posted on July 7, 2013 by Sabina Becker

A little New Wave poetic summer escapism, courtesy of one of Toronto’s all-time best bands.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Music for a Sunday | Comments Off

Wankers of the Week: Apocalypse Not

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone! Well, here we are…a full week since DOMA died, and obviously the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. Everyone got married to an animal and/or inanimate object, and all the homo-sex-you-all fornication that went on just killed all the kittens. Ha, no, not really. Actually, nothing bad happened…nothing that could be blamed on same-sex marriage, anyway. However, plenty of other bad stuff happened…and these people are to blame, in no particular order:

1. George W. Fucking Bush. Liar, spy-er, pants on fire, still got ’em caught in the telephone wire. Yep, the author of the NSA spy program is shooting his fool mouth off again this week. And I still want to punch him right in the fucking smirk. For all the same reasons, too.

2. Jennifer Fucking Lopez. Hey, remember when this talentless twit signed on to a “protest” calling Chavecito (democratically elected and re-elected, no torture, popular, I could go on) a “dictator”? Well, guess whose birthday she “sang” at this week. Yup, an actual, bona-fide dictator from Turkmenistan. And a brutal motherfucker he is, too. Clearly, Jenny-from-the-Block can’t read. And somewhere, Chavecito is laughing. Not only at her, but at her clueless choreographer, too. PS: Aaaand she apologizes. But not before that gigantic cheque cleared the bank, I bet.

3. María Corina Fucking Machado. And speaking of talentless twits who hated the ‘Cito, how nice that Venezuela’s leading putschist is still up to her old tricks. Fortunately, failed coup attempts are all she’ll ever be able to lead. Nobody wants her for president of Venezuela, you see. All she knows how to do is sulk, pout, and blame the Cubans.

4. Guillermo Fucking Cochez. Meanwhile, in Panama, another putschist failure rears his oily head again. Yes, the same shitty ex-diplomat who circulated pictures of another man who he claimed was Chavecito, being intubated in hospital. This time, he claims Nicolás Maduro — the current president of Venezuela, and well known to have been born and raised in Caracas, where his Jewish ancestors arrived over 200 years ago — is secretly a Colombian! I just find it endlessly funny how all these people who spend more time in Miami, and don’t give a shit about Venezuela, spend so much time cooking up all this bullshit about people who are unquestionably legit. Have they nothing better to do? Like, oh, say, twiddling their thumbs?

5. Tim Fucking Huelskamp. If you ever wondered just how sore of losers the Religious Reich could be, here’s your answer. Since DOMA is now as good as dead, and same-sex marriage is moving forward in several states, this jackass is introducing a constitutional amendment to “protect” heterosexual marriage (note the quotes). Meanwhile, the evidence continues to mount that children raised by same-sex parents are not only NOT worse off than their peers, in many ways they’re actually doing better because their birth is no accident, and their parents have a stable, loving union. Won’t somebody think of the children — and STOP this “protect marriage” bullshit, already?

6. Krissi Fucking Biasiello. Looks like Paula Deen’s not the only racist in the big ol’ greasy kitchen of FUX. This chef-show contestant hates the NBA because white guys can’t jump, and thinks sex with a black guy is “rape” unless the woman’s on top. Yup, FUX sure has a way of picking the winners…pronounced WIENERS.

7. John Fucking Kasich. While Wendy Davis and a crowd of angry, fantastic women were busy saving the day in Texas, Ohio slid under the radar with a bill that’s even worse, and the women of that state are now oh, SO fucked. Thanks a pantload, guvnor…and watch your neck next election day, because you are about to learn what it’s like to be run out of town on a rail. BY WOMEN.

8. James Fucking Dobson. Oh noes! Same-sex marriage will destroy “the entire superstructure of society” — and by that, he means his own way of making easy money off the guilty consciences of closet cases too scared to come out. Actually, you know what? If that’s what the “superstructure of society” is, it fucking DESERVES to collapse. Because a society built on bigotry and hypocrisy is unlivable — and doomed to collapse anyway.

9. Dana Fucking Loesch. If anyone ever believed that FUX Snooze’s token brunette would be any smarter than its herd of identical bubble-headed blondes, worry not…this one is every bit as fucking stupid, if not more so. I’m sure that’s cold comfort to all the smart blondes out there trying to fight the channel’s reinforcement of their unearned image, but it’s true. And, that said: Using Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech to uphold paranoid white gun nuts’ bullshit privileges as though they were rights is not only fucking stupid, it’s also cynical as all hell. And, oh yeah: RACIST.

10. Brit Fucking Hume. And while we’re on the subject of FUX Snooze’s bubbleheaded “personalities” (note the quotes), even the middle-aged males are no smarter than their young females. Case in point: Ol’ White Power here. At this rate, the GOP can stop wondering why their “message” isn’t resonating with blacks, Latinos, or immigrants of any color. All they need to do is turn the TV on to their favorite network and look at themselves in the mirror. That is, if that’s not asking too much of them in the way of introspection and self-awareness.

11. Jim Fucking DeMint. So, women WANT to be FORCED to have unnecessary ultrasounds at an anti-choice “pregnancy centre”, when they’ve already decided on abortion? Yeah, that makes a shitload of sense. Just like men wanting to be forced to have a prostate exam when they’re in for a Viagra ‘scrip. Or perhaps a penile exam, accompanied by barely muffled laughter. Which, I think, ought to be forced on HIM, just so he has a better idea of just how humiliating that sort of thing is for us (although, to be frank, it still gives NO sense of the amount of emotional distress also involved).

12. Matt Fucking Barber. Oh, da poor persecuted widdle wingnut. Somebody please tell him that he won’t be arrested for holding on to shitty, outmoded beliefs…only for acting shittily on them. And in the meantime, he’ll be shunned. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what all those wingnutty religious sects do to anyone who refuses to conform to THEIR beliefs, anyway? So, he’ll be on the other side of that coin for a change. WAAAAAAAAAA!

13. Les Fucking Kinsolving. And speaking of shitty, outmoded wingnuts, how about him? He’s afraid that necrophiliacs will soon be able to marry corpses. Correct me again if I’m wrong, but…isn’t that already happening to those who believe that remarriage, even in the event of widowhood, is ADULTERY???

14. Paul Fucking Scalia. I don’t know what disturbs me more: the fact that anyone considered Antonin Fucking Scalia worth sleeping with, or the fact that she had a son by him. Oh wait, I know! It’s the fact that said son is a repugnant, puritanical, homophobic chip off the ol’ repugnant, puritanical, homophobic block! And even better: He’s a priest, advocating for “permanent celibacy” for the queers. Hmmmmm.

15. Timothy Fucking Dolan. And while we’re on the subject of repugnant, puritanical, homophobic, etc., get a load of the cardinal of New York. Hiding money in a cemetery fund (!) so that Catholic sexual-abuse victims wouldn’t be able to lay claim to it in their lawsuits against the church! Hey, who said you can’t take it with you? $57 million says you can…ka-CHING!

16. Howard Fucking Haralson. Y’know, one really has to wonder what kind of bribe would make a judge hand a six-year-old girl, who hasn’t seen her father practically since she was conceived, over to said father…who also happens to have been convicted of sexually molesting a six-year-old in the past. And to decide that the girl’s mother, who’s been trying her damnedest to shield the little one from that predator, is a “bad mother” just because she can’t remember all the names of the doctors the girl has seen in order to correct a birth defect. Hmmmm…mom who knocked herself out caring for little girl, or pedophile dad who expressed no interest in her until she reached the same age as his previous victim? Yeah…HARD decision, yeronner.

17 and 18. Kevin Fucking Swanson and Dave Fucking Buehner. Yup, the dynamic duo of dumbth made the cut again this week…by suggesting that the DOMA decision legalizes marriages between people and inanimate objects. Hey guys, if you love your stupidity so much, why don’t you marry it? You can…NOW. Bwahahahahaha.

19. Rod Fucking Parsley. No, Mr. Herb Garnish, no chip implants for humans yet. And no plans for them in the future, either. Now stop harping on that imaginary threat, and find something real to get exercised about, before I chop you up and throw you in some soup.

20. Thor Fucking Halvorssen. Oh, what a sad time it must be for him…his beloved Wanker #2 “sang” for Turkmenbashi, and now he’s got his silk boxers all in a knot about it. Hey, Thor? Next time, wear them around your neck. You’re no more about human rights than J-Lo is about singing. After all, it was YOUR dipshit petition that she signed against Chavecito, remember?

21 and 22. Den Fucking Trumbull and Rick Fucking Wiles. Like so many other professional homophobes this week, they were left scrambling for ways to go on justifying their increasingly marginalized stance. And they found one, and it involves (a) Godwin violations galore, and (b) anti-science claiming that “science is being left behind”…by actual scientists. Tune in next week, when their heads start to spin, spit up pea soup, and explode!

23 and 24. Samy and Amy Fucking Bouzaglo. Uh..guys? Making your employees sign a contract which is at odds with labor law does NOT make your unethical business practices legal. Or ethical. It might, however, make you look even more fucking deranged than you already are. And even less desirable as prospective employers…even in the current craptacular economy.

25. Paula Fucking Deen. OMFG, she’s looking to have a big gay plantation wedding for realz. Or something. I’m not sure what this latest legal challenge is actually supposed to do, but if it’s damage control, she’s doin it rong.

26, 27 and 28. David Fucking Barton, Rick Fucking Green, and Danny Fucking Holliday. Same-sex marriage violates the church/state separation? Nuh-unh, sparky. What is this, Opposite Week? Oh yeah, what am I saying…it’s ALWAYS Opposite Week in Right Wingnuttia.

29. John Fucking McCain. If you ever wonder why all the most vociferous defenders of rape culture are older men, quit fucking wondering. I can tell you from personal experience, at university and beyond, that those guys are the ones most likely to try to take advantage of women, especially trusting, inexperienced young ones…and do everything in their power to make sure that THAT privilege never dies. They have all inculcated their sons with those same anti-values, too. So it’s hardly surprising that they’re out there wailing and flailing about how anti-rape campaigns are “de-eroticizing” the world, on and off campus. After all, that’s their meat market that the nasty, uppity wimmin are interfering with!

30. Robert Fucking Knight. Blah blah blah blah FUCKING QUEERS blah blah blah blah BLACK-ROBED HATE GROUP blah blah blah blah GOD GOD GOD blah blah blah blah TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE blah blah blah blah SUPREME COURT PERVERTED blah blah blabbity blah blah.

31. Mark Fucking O ‘Mara. No, you cannot has acquittal. Especially not after the way you went after Trayvon Martin’s mom on the stand, claiming that her son caused his own death. At the hands of your fucking client, motherfucker. And his own mother identified the screaming for help on the 911 tape as his voice, too. At long last, motherfucker — HAVE YOU NO FUCKING SHAME???

32. Joe Fucking Kernen. Yeah, I’m an “enviro-socialist”. No, it is NOT a cult; it’s a legitimate political viewpoint, and an accurate one. And I will thank you to stop saying that like it’s a bad thing, because it’s not. The bad thing is being a polluting plutocrat. Like Y-O-U, fuckhead.

33. David Fucking Brooks. I have yet to meet an Egyptian (and I’ve met several) who lacks “the basic mental ingredients” for anything. On the other hand, ol’ Wavy Gravy Davey seems a few teacups shy of a full service everytime I read one of his drivellings…on ANYTHING. Basic mental ingredients: He no haz them.

34. Peter Fucking Kent. Why?

That’s why. He (or more likely, his hired flunkie) forgot to switch over to a dummy Twitter account before tooting the horn for him.

35. Chris Fucking Koster. He wants to bring back the gas chamber in Missouri? Oh goodie! Y’know, I think that would be a great idea…for anyone who still supports the death penalty. Congrats, Chris, you get to be first in line!

36. John Fucking Kerry. While Egypt was burning, the man who handed the 2004 election to Dubya and his band of thieves was fiddling…on his yacht. The war hero turned anti-war protester is now about as useful as tits on a bull. Remind me again of why you’re in the State Dept., John. And when you’re done with that, can you tell me if you were for the coup before you were against it, or vice versa?

37. Adam Fucking Kokesh. Y’know, repeatedly breaking the law on the streets of your nation’s capital is really not a good idea. Especially not if the “point” is to prove that “law-abiding” gun owners are, like, super fucking duper law-abiding, and just to prove it, they’re gonna have themselves a million-moron gun-nut “revolution”, complete with loaded guns on the streets of a city where that’s not fucking allowed.

38. Rupert Fucking Murdoch. Oh surprise! Ol’ Rupee not only knew about the way his “journalists” were hacking and spying, but now he’s got a floppy ol’ hate-boner for the law, too. This cannot go any way but well.

39. Ted Fucking Baehr. Awwww. Looks like the Religious Reich has Teh Butthurt over the fact that the latest unnecessary remake of the Lone Ranger isn’t cram-jammed with their brand of propaganda. Look at all the fucks that nobody else gives!

40. Scott Fucking Walker. Does somebody want a binky? Preferably shoved up his ass, unlubed? I’m guessing so, since Snotty Scotty Wanker just signed another unnecessary ultrasound re-rape bill into law. Legal challenges coming right down, in 5…4…3…2…

41. George Fucking Zimmerman. He smirked and snurked while on trial for murder. FOR MURDER. Keep giggling, Georgie…we’ll see who laughs last when you’re found guilty, guilty, GUILTY.

42. Aaron Fucking Schock. Yeah, sure, dude, we believe you’re straight. That’s why you’re working overtime to deny civil rights to LGBTs in your district, eh? Well, Mary, I hear a little pink tutu-clad skeleton dancing the Watusi in your closet, to a steady 200 bpm beat from my whooping gaydar. Better watch it before it does damage to your faaaabulous wardrobe, eh?

43. Katie Fucking Hopkins. Think the British class system is dead? Not so…it lives on in this obvious bleach blonde, with her obvious fake tan and her obvious croc-print dress, with her obvious posh accent and her awfully obvious snobbery regarding children’s names. Also her obvious utter lack of a sense of irony. And her obvious, obvious twattitude.

44. Russ Fucking Hiebert. Union-busting SupposiTory gets his very cherry-picky union-busting poll paid for by a union-busting “nonprofit” group. Gee! What a fucking coinkydink! It’s just like my German mom says…”one hand washes the other”. Yes. Yes, it does.

45. Pamela Fucking Wallin. Meanwhile, in other SupposiTory hand-washing news, Pammy-pie has quit all those boards where she sat making lots and lots of pin money in defiance of conflict-of-interest law. Not to mention influence peddling. Well. I guess that makes it all better now, doesn’t it?

46. Jim Fucking Standridge. Shorter: WAAAAAAAAA! Pay attention to me! I’m somebody! Don’t you DARE fall asleep on me! I hate you! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

47. William Fucking Eacho. The US ambassador to Austria has some ‘splainin’ to do as to how he came to be giving the order for Evo’s plane to land in Vienna, under pain of a shoot-down, to conduct a search (which did not take place) for a man who wasn’t on board. Since when does the US send the officials of a foreign country to do its dirty work? Since, oh — when the fuck was the Monroe Doctrine written, again? And when the hell did it start applying to Europe?

48 and 49. Robin Fucking Thicke and Justin Fucking Timberlake. Got no talent? Look like a cheeseball? Need to liven things up before people start to wonder why you’re even there? Get more sexism! Throw in all the rapey PUA shit and gratuitous boobage you can. Brag about the size of your cocktail wienie. Hell, who’ll ever notice? Certainly not the Cheeto-fed masses who think this crapola passes for culture.

50. Clayton Fucking Morris. Once more, with feeling: Read the Treaty of Tripoli! The US is NOT a Christian nation, and the Fourth of July is NOT a religious holiday! Jesus H. Christ, how stupid does one have to be to believe such things? Is this guy one of those who believed that dinosaurs existed in Genesis, too? Theocracy is NOT democracy, people.

And finally, to the Fucking Wall Street Journal — which has finally and truly earned itself the name of Wall Street URINAL. Egypt “needs a Pinochet” like I need an extra vagina. Pinochet, in case you’ve forgotten, fucking RUINED Chile in every conceivable way, including making abortion illegal even for an 11-year-old who got raped, and whose life may be in danger. He fucked the economy on all fronts, he killed democracy (he didn’t “midwife” a goddamn fucking thing!), he “disappeared” thousands of ordinary Chileans, he ordered the murder of the great Víctor Jara, and even two innocent US citizens weren’t safe from his goon squads. And the Urinal talks about all this as though it were “necessary”? For what — fucking Egypt up the Suez Canal? What a crock of utter bullshit. But then, what do we expect of a crapitalist rag? Fascism, as I so often say, isn’t capitalism plus murder; it’s capitalism minus gloves.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Posted in Wankers of the Week | 4 Comments

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Viva Nicolás!

Posted on July 5, 2013 by Sabina Becker

In honor of the Venezuelan president’s wise decision to give asylum to Edward Snowden tonight, here’s a little tribute to him (and his late friend and Comandante, Chavecito), from Russia, with love:

Ska-P’s “El Libertador”, sung (in Spanish!) by a group of young Russians at the New Opera Theatre in Moscow. This concert took place on July 2.

And yes, I’m happy about this. Even before the asylum request was received, Nicolás Maduro was showing himself a real Mensch, and disposed to grant asylum to the NSA leaker/whistleblower because, in his words, Snowden had “contributed to humanity” by blowing the lid off his government’s insanely excessive wiretapping habits.

Now, to get Snowden on the next plane to Caracas, probably with some kind of official Russian documents, since the US government has withdrawn his passport. I don’t know how it will be done, but here’s a chance for Pooty-Poot to make himself useful to humanity, too.

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Posted in Festive Left Friday Blogging, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't That Illegal?, Law-Law Land, Spooks, Teh Russkies, The United States of Amnesia | 2 Comments

See the Injun fly the airplane?

Posted on July 4, 2013 by Sabina Becker

evo-plane-europe

In the 2006 documentary Cocalero, which shows how Evo Morales first became president of Bolivia, there’s a scene near the end where he and his campaign manager are boarding a small plane, flying over rugged terrain back to the capital city of La Paz after touring the country on election day. Evo teases the pilots about being afraid of rough weather, rather than imperialism, and reminisces about another such flight, where there was no one on board but him, his campaign manager and the captain. Evo actually sat in the co-pilot’s seat, and was allowed to fly the plane for a bit, with supervision. He mimes how he held the yoke, going up and down, turning this way and that, and his campaign manager mimes how he nearly had a heart attack at the prospect of losing both his future president and his life all in one fell swoop. Then they both laugh.

In Kurt Vonnegut’s 1990 novel, Hocus Pocus, there’s a scene where an air-show stunt pilot of yesteryear advertises his mad barnstorming skills. The sign reads, simply, “See the Nigger Fly the Airplane”. That’s it; nothing about his breath-taking, death-defying aerobatic feats. Nobody cares about those. His flying prowess is unimportant; he is, novelty of novelties, a black man flying an airplane.

Well, what is Evo if not, novelty of novelties, an indigenous man at the controls of a country?

Never mind that Bolivia is no longer Latin America’s poorest state, thanks to Evo. Never mind that it has clawed its way out of a deeper hole than the mine shafts of Potosí. Never mind that it has 100% literacy now. Never mind that they’re doing better at stopping the production and trafficking of cocaine since they kicked out the US DEA. Never mind that the Bolivian economy has been going nowhere but up since the decision was made to turf out USAID, too. None of this matters. Evo is an Aymara at the helm of a country, and that makes him, to paraphrase Vonnegut’s recurring tragicomic motif, a “nigger flying an airplane”. (Or, in Evo’s case, an Injun.)

And if there’s one thing white supremacists everywhere can’t stand, it’s a person who isn’t white, doing something only whites of super-duper-double-looper elite status are supposed to be able to do. The only thing worse, in their eyes, is if this insignificant little non-white person actually beats them at it.

And Evo has been doing that ever since he was elected. Like Chavecito before him, he came from poverty and from brown skin and indigenous heritage, and landed right in the pilot’s seat of the plane. Nobody saw that coming! Nobody but the people who helped put him there, that is. And, in the eyes of Washington, Europe and white elitedom, those people are also nobody.

So what happens when a nobody becomes a somebody, despite the color of his skin, and without making the slightest effort to lighten it, conceal it, or apologize for it? All the knives come out; he must end up like Patrice Lumumba. The US has had it in for Evo since even before he was elected; the campaign against him, as Cocalero shows, was dirty. Lots of fear and talk of lost jobs, specifically in the export-related industries that do a lot of business with the US. And lots of dirty talk on other levels, too: At Viru Viru airport in Santa Cruz, a white man starts yelling at Evo, calling him a “shitty Injun”, and claiming Evo’s very presence there is an “insult”. And a white woman, her voice quaking with fear and indignation, says he should go back to the Chaparé, and build his own airport there, because (in her words) “he doesn’t like us either”. But Evo, who has clearly heard all this a thousand times before, doesn’t react. Cooler heads prevail.

And yet, the heads of the indignant racists are supposed to be the superior minds, even in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. Evo has scarcely gone a day of his political life without some racist or other making irrational assumptions about him based on the color of his skin, the shape of his features, and the fact that he makes no effort to downplay his dirt-poor origins. The fact that he wears no conventional suit or tie is a terrible insult to white sensibilities, which would rather ignore the aguayo, the poncho, and the coca-leaf garlands Evo prefers. The idea that his native culture is something to be proud of flies in the face of 500 years of Spanish-American imperialism. The fact that it survives at all, despite all efforts to exterminate it, is a terrible threat to homegrown cambas and whites from the Northern Hemisphere alike. It is proof that their effort to colonize everything has failed.

So it’s not really such a surprise that Evo’s plane got barred from flying over several European countries. Edward Snowden, who was not on that plane (he is still in Russia) is just a red herring. It’s the idea of an indigenous head of state, flying over their heads, that’s the real “terrorist” threat. (The fact that the “sovereign” Europeans’ strings were being pulled by Washington is not mentioned in polite company.)

Nothing about Evo, or his plane, was ever a threat to any part of Europe or their way of life. But the tyranny of a good example, set by an Aymara showing that South American natives can govern themselves, without any more debt-heavy neoliberal “help” from foreign imperialist powers? Not to be tolerated. And if he can’t be brought down any other say, he will have to be trivialized and humiliated to death.

As Kurt Vonnegut might say, “See the Injun fly the airplane?”

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Posted in All About Evo, EuroPeons, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Racist?, Spooks, Teh Injunz, The United States of Amnesia | 1 Comment

A few more thoughts on rape culture (and the importance of naming it)

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Sabina Becker

never-understand-rape

So I was chatting again with my friend from the West Coast today, and he’s still upset about the incident from the other day. He wonders if he was really sexually assaulted, and he’s beating himself up over it. Does inappropriate touching from a blind stranger really count as an assault, or is it just him being oversensitive about it?

I assured him that it yes, it really is an assault. I pointed out that if he’d been mugged, he’d have no trouble saying that’s what happened. I added that the ooky feeling it gave him was enough; it doesn’t have to leave a mark to be an assault. The uninvited, invasive touch is enough, especially if it leaves you guilt-stricken and queasy afterward. After all, he didn’t invite it. He merely got taken advantage of when his guard came down for a brief moment. He had not done the wrong; the other guy had! He finally agreed, and thanked me for that.

And that got me to thinking: Why are we so reluctant to call sexual assault by its right name, even when it happened to us and made us feel like shit? And the answer, again, comes back to rape culture.

Rape culture wouldn’t be such an all-pervasive problem if we were not awfully reluctant to talk about sex in the first place. Our puritanical culture sets up the vulnerable (women mainly, but again, not only) for all manner of indecencies, some of them admittedly grosser than others. But until relatively recently, we didn’t talk openly about sex.

And an awful lot of us still don’t. Just think of those who throw “purity balls” for their daughters, and make them take virginity pledges, and wear those dinky silver rings. Do they teach their sons not to grope, grab and paw other girls — not just those doing the Silver Ring Thing, but ANY girl (or guy, or trans person) at all? Do they teach their sons not to re-enact porn scenes or talk dirty? Do they teach their sons why it’s wrong to send dick pix via cellphone, or demand boobie pix from their girlfriends? Do they teach them proper respect for others?

I’m guessing they don’t. Just look at the statistics; even the most religiously conservative communities, far from being the best at preventing rape, are often the worst at it…and the worst when it comes to victim blaming and slut shaming, too.

After all, being scared of sex, and guarding one’s vulnerable body, is a Girl Thing. (As is the shame-inducing eventual despoliation of that body, assuming that one does not enter a convent — and maybe get raped by a priest in there.)

Real Men, on the other hand, are supposed to grab and grope and maul and manhandle every woman in sight. (Or, in the case of the blind guy who molested my friend, every gay or bi guy they can get their hands on.) They are supposed to, in the words of the odious pickup artist, Ken Hoinsky, act as the “leaders”, and “force her to say no”. (And disregard her as far as possible when she does, and tell her to come on, she really wants it, blah blah.)

And don’t even get me started on what happens at SF conventions, where a very nerdy, geeky, dorky brand of rape culture thrives, and claims social awkwardness on the part of the creepers as its excuse. Things like this make me kind of glad I’ve never gone to one. The last thing I need is for some Elder Statesman of the Genre to give me an unwanted pat-down in front of everyone, and then force me to be a “good sport” and laugh off what is actually not a bit funny. (Remember, the shame of being “the woman so-and-so molested on stage” never washes off.)

Our lack of frankness about sex enables all these and so many other double standards, mixed messages, and outright bullshit to thrive. Mold and mushrooms grow in the dark. So do toxic toadstools.

My friend and I got off “lightly”, if you can call all that second-guessing and self-recrimination “light”. But we did not come away unscathed. One does not have to be an infant in diapers or an eighty-year-old nun full of bullet holes to qualify as the victim of sexual violence. One has only be have been touched (and in my case, also talked to) in an inappropriate manner. And one has only to feel awful about it afterwards to know that yes, one has been a victim. (Fuck the MRAs and their “Don’t Be That Girl” campaign of mansplaining rape away as just “regretted sex”. That shit does not fly around here, motherfuckers.)

Rape culture is about wresting control away from the victims, erasing them, and negating their experiences. It’s no coincidence that not-talking-about-it is what’s the most enabling thing for perpetrators, and the most crippling thing for victims.

And no, victim is NOT a dirty word, so let’s say it loud, if not proud. Nobody wants to be one? Fine, then let nobody be a fucking perpetrator, either. See how simple that is?

And yes, let’s keep talking. And keep calling things by their right name. Even if it makes us feel icky and we’re terribly reluctant to do so. Sunshine is a great disinfectant, so drag that shit out into the light and watch it dry up! Nobody should have to spend 25 years in silence, as I did, trying to erase what happened from her memories. And nobody should have to second-guess himself constantly, as my friend is doing right now as he struggles to process what happened to him. Name it, and shame not the victim, but the system.

And work like hell to change the system when you’ve decided you’ve had enough.

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Posted in Confessions of a Bad German, If You REALLY Care, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Law-Law Land, Men Who Just Don't Get It, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Pissing Jesus Off, Teh Ghey, Uppity Wimmin | 3 Comments

Cartoon du jour

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Sabina Becker

evo-kong

Evo gets Kong’d over a guy who isn’t even on his plane.

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Posted in All About Evo, Boycott This Toon!, Isn't That Illegal?, Morticia! You Spoke French!, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia | 5 Comments

They are SO FUCKING PARANOID.

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Sabina Becker

evo-vienna-airport

Really. What more can I say when Evo Morales, of all people, has been denied permission to overfly four European countries, just because some nimnul thinks that Edward Snowden might be on board his plane (and he isn’t)?

Or when the president of Argentina has this on her Facebook page?

I’m back from La Rosada. Olivos, 9:46 p.m. They tell me President Correa is on the phone.

“Rafael? Give me the call.”

“Hi, Rafa, how are you?”

He replies something between angry and upset. “Don’t you know what’s going on?”

“No, what’s happening?” I’m all out to sea. Unusual, because I’m always alert, and vigilant. But I’ve just gotten back from a meeting.

“Cristina. They detained Evo with his plane, and they won’t let him leave Europe.”

“What? Evo? Evo Morales detained?” Immediately his latest photo comes to mind, him in Russia with Putin, Nicolás Maduro, and other heads of state.

“But what happened, Rafael?”

“Several countries revoked permission for him to fly, and now he’s in Vienna,” comes the reply.

They are all definitely out of their minds. A head of state and his airplane have total immunity. This degree of impunity cannot be.

Rafael tells me he’s going to call Ollanta Humala, urgently, for an emergency UNASUR meeting.

I call Evo. On the other end of the line, his voice responds calmly: “Hello, comrade, how are you?” Did you catch that? He asked me how I was doing!

He has thousands of years’ worth of civilization on me. He tells me the situation. “I’m here, in a little room in the airport, and I won’t let them check out my airplane. I’m not a crook.” Simply perfect. Stay strong, Evo.

“Let me call the Foreign Ministry. I want to see jurisdiction, Treaty and Tribunal. I’ll call you back,” I say.

“Thanks, comrade.”

“Hello, Susana.” That’s Susana Ruiz Cerruti, our expert in international legal matters for the Foreign Ministry.

She confirms that Evo has absolute immunity by customary right, received by the Convention of 2004, and the Hague Tribunal. If Austria doesn’t let him go or wants to check his plane, they have to appear before the International Court in The Hague, and ask.

Yesss! A precautionary measure. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. You know what precautionary measures are for.

Fine, let’s see if we can send some judge from here. Mother of God! What a world!

I call Evo again. His Ministry of Defence is taking notes. In Austria it’s 3 a.m. They’re going to try to talk with the authorities.

I talk with Pepe Mujica. He’s indignant. He has a right to be. It’s all very humiliating.

I talk to Rafa again. He tells me that Ollanta is going to call an UNASUR meeting. It’s 12:25 in the morning. Tomorrow is going to be a long, hard day. Stay calm. They won’t win this one.

Translation mine.

So there it is. Snowden is NOT on board, and Evo is rightly pissed that anyone would even think as much. And now all of South America is up in arms over it. And rightly so. The asylum request went through proper channels in Ecuador, that much I do know. It’s still under review. For Evo to do something like this would be unbelievably rash. And that’s not Evo’s style. He may be a badass with more cojones than a roomful of his European counterparts combined, but he’s not an impulsive or a stupid one.

And according to Pepe Escobar, Evo has just had clearance (from France and Portugal) to fly wherever the fuck he likes, so obviously those cojones paid off.

Fucking EuroPeon chickenshits. And their fucking overlords in Washington, too.

PS: And the backlash has already begun:

piss-de-resistance