Short ‘n’ Stubby: Ms. Manx takes on oil spills

calico-manx

Listen! Do you hear that loud and urgent meowing? It means Ms. Manx is back from a longer than usual hiatus with her latest catch. No, not mice. She’s got links to share. And this time, the Stumpy Cat has come back with sticky black goo on her paws. She’s going to need help getting that off! Good thing I’ve got some Dawn dish soap, eh kitty?

And it’s a good thing these beavers in Utah got rescued by some kind wildlife folks who also stock up on the stuff just in case. Can you believe they built a dam that helped contain the diesel oil spill? That’s what beavers do best. They do a better job building dams than the humans do building pipelines, says Ms. Manx, cattily.

And while we’re on the subject of humans who build crappy pipelines, ExxonMobil just got off on the most technical of technicalities. The Stumpy Cat thinks that’s not right. She also thinks that if they won’t pay into a cleanup fund, why, they should just pay for the clean-up all on their own, which will cost them a lot more. And which, frankly, they can afford to pay…and indeed, DESERVE to pay.

And speaking of those who deserve to pay, our cyberkitty would also like to draw your attention to the Canadian Imperialist Bank of Commerce. These wanking banksters, unlike the average Canadian, stand to gain from the building of a tar sands pipeline. And they’re whining and boohoo-ing about how much they’re losing every day that that pipeline isn’t being built and its bituminous contents aren’t being spilt. It all sounds very impressive and persuasive…until you realize that they just pulled those numbers out of the same orifice banksters usually pull their projections from.

BTW, for those who are trying to keep track of all the oil spills from this week alone, they are:

One in White River, Ontario;

One in St.-Jerôme, Québec;

and of course, the no-fly zone that is Mayflower, Arkansas. Guess that shocking aerial footage was getting in the way of Exxon getting off easy, eh?

And finally, Ms Manx really likes this Lee Camp dude, who sums up the problem with oil pipelines so succinctly:

Share this story:
Posted in Barreling Right Along, Canadian Counterpunch, Economics for Dummies, Environmentally Ill, Filthy Stinking Rich, Isn't That Illegal?, Short 'n' Stubby, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Short ‘n’ Stubby: Ms. Manx takes on oil spills

The unmitigated gall of a Paraguayan dictator

federico-franco

Can you believe the nerve of this guy?

The president of Paraguay, Federico Franco, called the death of Hugo Chávez a “miracle” today during a speech at a forum in Madrid.

“It’s a miracle that Mr. Chávez disappeared off the face of the Earth because he did a lot of damage to my country,” said Franco at a breakfast press conference in a central hotel in the Spanish capital, during a two-day working visit.

The Paraguayan president claimed that Chávez’s Venezuela gave “protection” to members of the Paraguayan People’s Army (EPP), and for that reason blamed the late head of state “for kidnappings and deaths” caused by the guerrilla group.

Franco replaced President Fernando Lugo in June, after the latter was ousted in a controversial political trial which caused Mercosur and Unasur to suspend Paraguay’s membership, considering the ouster to have broken the constitutional order.

Today in Madrid he justified his appointment as head of state with a supposed attempt to destabilize Paraguay on the part of Venezuela and Chávez. “Paraguay is not a territory for Bolivarian ideas,” he said. “We conquered ‘Bolivarism’ thanks to the censure motion.”

He rejected the notion that he had arrived in power thanks to a coup d’état, saying that his mandate is 14 months, and that he could not run in the presidential elections of April 21. “I am not sorry, nor am I ashamed, to have obtained the presidency in those conditions,” he said.

Franco, who was received in La Moncloa by the Spanish prime minister, Mariano Rajoy, invited Spanish business leaders to invest in his country, assuring them that they could “carry the money out in a wheelbarrow.”

Paraguay will have more than 10% GDP growth this year and “has never nationalized Spanish businesses,” he said, alluding to the expropriations last year in Argentina and Bolivia.

Translation mine.

So, to recap:

He came into office totally illegitimately, but he isn’t ashamed of the fact. He pisses on the grave of an honorable president who isn’t there to defend himself. He makes false accusations (strangely similar to those made by El Narco, regarding the FARC) with no evidence to back them (because none exists, duh). Unasur and Mercosur have both ostracized Paraguay, and its economy is seriously hurting, as a direct result of this two-bit fascist’s “constitutional” coup against a popular, democratically elected leader. His 14-month reign of terror has been nothing short of a democratic and economic disaster. And yet he comes to Spain, cock in hand, to tell the local businessbastards that the GDP is set to grow 10%, and they can come with wheelbarrows to rob Paraguayans blind with impunity?

And he has the chutzpah to say Paraguay is no place for Bolivarian ideas? On the contrary, it’s more than ripe for them.

And fascist motherfucker is entirely too kind a thing to call Federico Fucking Franco.

UPDATE: The Government of Venezuela has rejected the declarations of Franco. Minister of Exterior Relations, Elías Jaua, says that Franco “is the latest putschist in Latin America who cannot attend any meeting in Latin American or Caribbean space because he is the heir of the darkest tradition of the region.” (That “tradition” being the fascist Stroessner military dictatorship, the longest lived in Latin America.) Jaua adds that “Whoever rejoices in the death of another human being demonstrates the most profound expression of human misery.” Very diplomatically put; I can’t think of many people more miserable and disgusting than Federico Fucking Franco right now.

Share this story:
Posted in El NarcoPresidente, Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Paraguay, Uruguay, Socialism is Good for Capitalism!, Under the Name of Spain | 1 Comment

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 14

bolivarian-students

You know how the Venezuelan opposition is always bragging about how it’s got all the students on its side? Even when they’re actually eating their candidates alive, and some of them aren’t even students? Or how their demonstrations are all so peaceful, even when they’re demonstrably not? Well, get ready, because here comes another ironic little fact, straight out of Majunche’s own state of Miranda:

On Tuesday, university students from the state of Miranda protested near the state government offices, in Los Teques, demanding the resignation of Henrique Capriles Radonski, current right-wing presidential candidate and governor of the state.

The students came from Simón Rodríguez National Experimental University (UNESR), the University College of Los Teques (CULTCA), the National Experimental Polytechnic University of the Armed Forces (UNEFA), and the Bolivarian University of Venezuela (UBV). Also present were members of the Bolivarian Organization of Students (OBE).

Linder Crespo, president of the student centre at CULTCA, said that the young people are tired of the disorder and lack of government in Miranda due to bad leadership over the last four years, with Capriles as governor.

“We are protesting peacefully to demand that the fascist governor either step down or start paying attention to his job, because he has used this important office as a slush fund for his personal use, to support his political party [Primero Justicia] and his presidential campaign, with no respect for the people of Miranda.

“Miranda is in a state of decay. Capriles destroyed the Regional Institute for Youth, he tried to rob the UNEFA of its seat, he tried to eradicate education in Miranda, and he has not invested in primary, secondary or post-secondary education in the state,” Crespo said.

Erick Díaz, vice-president of the UNESR students’ federation, said that the state of abandonment in which Miranda finds itself is a tangible example of how Capriles is not fit to govern Venezuela.

“The University students of Miranda are on a war footing. We are fed up with Capriles abandoning the state, the insecurity which has us in a state of siege every day. As spearheads of our country, as our Comandante Chávez said, we will recuperate the state of Mirada with Elías Jaua and our president, Nicolás Maduro.”

Translation mine.

Oh dear. There are Chavista students! In Miranda! And they point the finger for the decay and insecurity they suffer…not at the Bolivarian federal government, but at the fascist state government, which isn’t even paying attention to their most basic needs. Well, somebody has got to, and it ain’t the opposition; even the acerbic Henry Ramos Allup has been silent as the grave on this matter. And that’s funny, because the opposition is always banging on about the chaos and uncertainty Venezuela has supposedly plunged into as a result of Chavecito’s 14-year reign. Funnier still, states and municipalities with Bolivarian governments — yes, that’s right, CHAVISTAS in charge — don’t seem to have this problem!

Meanwhile, Majunche — a true oligarch, if nothing else — is treating the office like his own personal ATM (what, is all that gringo dinero not enough?) while he carries on his quixotic vendetta against a dead man and a bus driver, ignoring the duties to which he was supposed to have been elected. And he’s lagging behind by about 20 points in the polls now. And the best HIS student backers can do is launch guarimbas, burn cars and block major roadways.

I can’t imagine why he’s not more popular, can you?

Share this story:
Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Fine Young Cannibals, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal? | Comments Off on The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 14

Election tampering in Paraguay

najib-amado

So, has anything changed for the better since that coup that ousted Lugo in Paraguay last year?

Why, no. Things have only gotten ugly and uglier. And in fact, according to one party leader, there’s worse and more in the pipeline:

The secretary-general of the Paraguayan Communist Party, Najib Amado, affirmed today that the United States is planning to commit electoral fraud in the general elections on April 21.

In a statement made to Prensa Latina, Amado stated that the presidential candidates Horacio Cartes and Efraín Alegre, of the Colorado and Radical Authentic Liberal parties, respectively, are the favorites of the US embassy in Asunción.

Amado called the electoral climate “rarefied” and added that the fraud began with a barrage of permanent and unequal campaign propaganda on the part of the preferred front-runners, financed with laundered mafia money.

The harsh accusation of the Communist director, in the name of his party, drives home the fact that the media are accomplices in this scheme, as shown by the inequality of spaces dedicated to other political parties, especially those of the left.

“Our people will take the battle to the ballot boxes, but also to the streets, defending the will of the majority in favor of the candidates who represent them, especially those of the Frente Guasú,” Amado said.

“These are the same North American interests who invaded Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya, and who are now menacing Iran and North Korea with nuclear weapons of mass destruction, risking the extinction of all life on Earth.”

Amado said that imperialism needs to impose servile heads of state in its plans to convert Paraguay into an economic, political and military enclave, and to go on repressing the peasants who are fighting for their lands.

He recalled that the parliamentary coup d’état of last June against President Fernando Lugo was perpetrated against not only the people of Paraguay, but the national liberation movements in Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador and Nicaragua, and against the sovereign democratic development in Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay.

Translation mine.

I hope Najib Amado doesn’t plan on taking any small aircraft rides in the near future, because statements like those are the sort of thing that have gotten more than one Latin American leader killed by the jackals. (I would say to ask Jaime Roldós of Ecuador, or Omar Torrijos of Panama, but neither of them is around anymore. You could always ask John Perkins, though; he knew both presidents very well. And he deeply regrets his role in their demises.)

But yeah. This is applicable in all the countries he mentioned, particularly Venezuela. Any country that is working democratically toward its own independence is going to face some fierce opposition from you-know-where. Especially if it has something the US wants. And Paraguay has arable land (that the campesinos are fighting for) and the great Guaraní Aquifer. This is going to be a terrible fight, kiddies.

Share this story:
Posted in Huguito Chavecito, Paraguay, Uruguay, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on Election tampering in Paraguay

Crazy talk in Venezuela

arias-cardenas

Of all the things to waste a governor’s time, scurrilous rumors have got to be the worst. Just ask Chavecito’s old army buddy and Bolivarian comrade-in-arms, the governor of Zulia:

The governor of the State of Zulia, Francisco Arias Cárdenas, assured the press on Monday that he is in “good health, thank God”.

He told the newspaper Panorama that rumors of a supposed illness are “baseless and perverse”.

He added that during Holy Week, he had not stopped working, since he was attending assemblies at Curazaíto and Corral de Navas, in Cabimas, as well as in other sectors on the eastern shore of Lake Maracaibo.

“I’ve had all my checkups, and I’m fine…it’s just rumors,” Arias reiterated.

Rumors of a supposed cancer have been spreading via social media networks, requiring the governor himself to address the matter and put it to rest.

Translation mine.

It would no doubt be all too convenient to some people (who shall here go nameless) to have Francisco Arias Cárdenas fall ill with the same malignancy that felled his old friend. Arias actually hit the campaign trail before Chavecito, getting himself elected for the first time as governor of his native state before Chavecito had stopped advising his supporters to abstain from federal elections and decided to run for office himself in the late 1990s. Back in the day, this was a source of acrimonious dispute between the two comrades, and they quarreled again on more than one occasion, although they made up for good a few years ago and have remained allies ever since.

If I were a gringo imperialist looking to eliminate Bolivarian leaders with plausibly deniable cancers, I’d certainly have Arias on the radar, although Nicolás Maduro and other federal-level figures would be much more obvious targets. Arias lacks the charisma of Maduro, and doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to go beyond Zulia, ambition-wise.

And yes, it is entirely possible that a foreign leader the US didn’t like would be the target for a cancer plot. Fidel Castro was one during the early 1960s, when cancer was first weaponized. Luckily, that plan fell through, thanks to Hurricane Flora.

At the moment, we don’t know for sure how Chavecito contracted the cancer that killed him; it may indeed be due to natural causes, since he lost a younger brother named Enzo to leukemia when the latter was just six months old. And Chavecito is well known to have smoked (and Fidel, who kicked the cigar habit himself many years ago, was constantly harping on him to quit). It’s entirely plausible that he contracted cancer that way.

So, at the moment, these rumors of Arias having cancer too are only that and nothing more. And it’s a good thing that he’s well, because Zulia is a constant target for imperial aggressions (it’s the OIL, stupid), and a Bolivarian governor can help keep it out of the clutches of the opposition, who would be only too happy to hatch a “Media Luna” style secession plot, as some right-wingers in Bolivia tried unsuccessfully to do to Evo a few years ago.

Long story short: If I were Arias, I’d be watching my back.

Share this story:
Posted in All About Evo, Cuba, Libre (de los Yanquis), Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, She Blinded Me With Science | Comments Off on Crazy talk in Venezuela

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 13

Tonight, we have the Venezuelan equivalent of “Things You Have to Believe in Order to be a Conservative”:

ven-oppo-logic

My translation:

Illogical Logic of an Illogical Oppositionist

If a Chavista shops at Mercal: The government gave it to them, nothing but crumbs.

If a Chavista shops at Lubrevas: Some socialists they are, why don’t they go shopping at Mercal or PDVAL?

If a Chavista enrolls their kids in a Simoncito or a Bolivarian School: These Chavistas are dependent on the government, they like living off the benefits of the Revolution, they don’t pay tuition, they get free food for their kids.

If a Chavista enrolls their kids at a private school: What are those socialist brats doing here, why don’t they enroll at a Simoncito or a Bolivarian school? Chavista hypocrites!

If a Chavista spends their vacations by a river cooking stew: That’s how I like seeing those riffraff, going on defending their Revolution, you here by this miserable river, and the government thugs living the good life in a resort.

If a Chavista spends their vacations at a resort: Look at those nouveaux riches, living like capitalists, how shameless, better they camp out by a river cooking stew!

If a Chavista goes to a clinic staffed by Cubans: These fools are looking to get killed by those Cubans, those integral medicine quacks.

If a Chavista goes to a clinic staffed by Venezuelans: What fucking revolution are they preaching? Look at them in our clinic! Why don’t they go to the Cubans?

Don’t even try to understand the opposition, just ignore it!

A few notes: Mercal and PDVAL are Bolivarian markets carrying affordable, subsidized food and other household necessities; Simoncitos are Bolivarian kindergartens; and the Cuban-staffed clinics are the ones that will treat patients for free (Venezuelan-staffed ones are for-profit.)

The other irony of this is that there are actual oppos (not many of them, mind you) in the poorer neighborhoods, too…but you’ll never see them going to the profiteers out of principle!

Share this story:
Posted in Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic? | 1 Comment

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 12

guarimba-car

Burnt-out car on Francisco de Miranda Avenue, Caracas, 2004, after a “peaceful” protest of the opposition, otherwise known as a Guarimba. These supposedly spontaneous local protests were directed by Washington via US diplomatic installations, and were aimed at destabilizing Venezuela so that then President Hugo Chávez would be forced to resign. None of them ever worked.

Ah, that peaceful Venezuelan opposition; gotta love ’em. They set cars on fire all the time, and we up here in El Gran Norte are supposed to take all this in stride as just youthful hijinks and legitimate protest against an elected government which has supposedly gotten all repressive and out of hand. Anybody buying it?

If you are, still, you’re a feckin’ eejit. Especially after this:

This Monday, a destabilization plan will take place during a march called by the ultra-right-wing campaign, which will begin at 7:30 pm on Francisco de Miranda Avenue and will end in Chacao.

It was denounced by the host of VTV’s “La Hojilla”, Mario Silva, via his official Twitter account, @LaHojillaenTV.

“@LaHojillaenTV: We denounce a destabilization plan by the opposition in tomorrow’s march”, wrote the host.

Silva also informed that the opposition rally will be a “Guarimba”.

“@LaHojillaenTV: TOMORROW’S OPPOSITION MARCH IS A GUARIMBA.”

The state channel’s president, William Castillo, wrote on his official Twitter account:

“@planwac: This Monday, Capriles called for a march ‘AT NIGHT’, leaving from Los Ruices for the VTV offices…Beware!”

Translation mine.

Now. What kind of “peaceful law-abiding opposition” calls for demos AT NIGHT?

guarimba-fire

Oh, probably one planning “spontaneous” bonfires that just so happen to block major roadways, causing chaos and potential riots in advance of the elections just two weeks from today, when acting president Maduro will become president elect with a majority between 55 and 60 percent of the vote. That’s what kind of opposition.

Seriously, guys, you really have to try harder at this non-violence stuff. Otherwise, Henry Ramos Allup will only look like he has a good point.

Share this story:
Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 12

Very funny, ClustrMap.

So, this is how many visitors I supposedly got yesterday?

clustrmap-april-fool

I call bullshit. Plus, I know what day it is. Ha, ha.

Share this story:
Posted in Technical Notes, The WTF? Files | Comments Off on Very funny, ClustrMap.

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 11

henry-nalgas

Good evening, cool world! Can you believe we’re already in the double digits here? Me neither…or at least, I wouldn’t believe it if it weren’t the Venezuelan oppos we’re talking about. Those people are just replete with irony, and they don’t even know it.

Anyhow, tonight’s edition is an old fossil, sniping at the young. Now, fossils are common enough in Venezuela — how do you think all that dino-juice got into the ground? — but for an opposition that keeps presenting itself as the hot, young, up-and-coming “alternative” to the eeeeeeeevils of bad old Chavismo, it sure is funny that the criticism of the young hotties is coming not from the bad old Chavistas, but from one of their very own:

This week there was a fierce argument between the secretary-general of the Acción Democrática (AD) party, Henry Ramos Allup, and a group of young opposition members, after the Adeco leader criticized the “star-powered” leadership of the opposition youth.

The insults and disparagements began last Tuesday, when the AD director wrote on his Twitter account: “Snobbery: the directors don’t improvise…Look what’s become of the ‘star-powered’ young from a few years ago.”

Allup’s stance toward the “students” who staged protests in front of the Cuban embassy, or the recent attempt to camp out in front of the National Electoral Council, soon got responses on Twitter.

“A few people, @hramosallup, a few people like you have damaged Venezuelan democracy. May God soon come looking for you,” replied @macabrism, in support of the opposition youth.

“I won’t respond to insults from the same paid-off government flunkies, or those who pass for opposition. The same detritus,” replied Allup.

“That response, @hramosallup, is the typical reaction of those who are permanently frustrated at not having any impact among the students,” replied @Archidvcem, another student oppositionist. Allup questioned this one: “Student? False. Anti-political snobbery, promiscuous, guarimbero, coward, pothead, parakeet, gum-chewer, and political asexual.”

And just so there’s no doubt as to what the AD director was talking about when he demonstrated his disagreement, he added: “Why don’t you go start a guarimba in Catia, in the 23 de Enero, or Valle-Coche? Go there and grab a geezer’s pacemaker. SOBs.”

The polemics demonstrate the different politics between the opposition and those who, under the banner of “students”, head up the actions from the earlier this year, which have not been recognized by the most traditional sectors of the Venezuelan opposition.

Translation mine.

Some backgrounder is necessary here. The guarimba is a uniquely Venezuelan “student” oppositionist tactic for delegitimizing a duly elected government. It involves “protests” that are clearly just violence and bomb-throwing, but the proponents routinely call it “peaceful” and claim it’s the authorities who are to blame for the violence, even when it comes with no crackdown from the authorities whatsoever. The tactic comes courtesy of one Gene Sharp, an anti-socialist who appropriated the name of the VERY socialist Albert Einstein for his so-called “institute”, and who gets a lot of toe-sucking from clueless North American liberals and proponents of “the mindful life” for his bullshit “nonviolent protest” manual. The irony of a violent provocation passing itself off as nonviolent protest should be lost on no one. (Not even you “mindful” hipsters, who have a well-known penchant for abusing the i-word.)

But even funnier and more ironic than the Venezuelan oppos’ habit of eating their own, and pitting the politically apathetic young against the politically fossilized old, is the fact that ol’ Henry is an accidental pop star, with his very own reggaeton tune:

Yes, that’s right. Stodgy-podgy Henry is hipper than any hipster. And he’s friggin’ SQUARE.

At this rate, we don’t have to wonder why the Bolivarians keep romping to easy victory in what Jimmy Carter himself has called the best electoral process in the world. Nor do we need to wonder why Henry fears Chavecito more dead than alive. With enemies like these, the Bolivarians don’t need no stinkin’ friends.

And if that’s not ironic, I don’t know what is.

Share this story:
Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off on The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 11

Compare and Contrast: Nicolás Maduro vs. El Narco

maduro-uribe-twitter

Who’s the crass ass, and who’s got sass and class? Aporrea has the story:

The President of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro, responded on Saturday night to the ex-president of Colombia, Alvaro Uribe Vélez, who called him a “cynic” on Twitter.

“Maduro’s cynicism knows no limits. He raised the tone and called the opposition ‘Hitler’s heirs’,” wrote @AlvaroUribeVel. To which the president and candidate in the April 14 elections replied: “Your heirs — better?”

The Colombian ex-president has made various meddlesome declarations about Venezuelan politics. There have also been denunciations of the opposition candidate, Henrique Capriles Radonski, for having visited Colombia to meet with Uribe and receive his advice.

Translation mine.

This is all true, by the way. El Narco is not only a supporter of the fascist Venezuelan right in words, but in deeds. He is closely tied to the vicious right-wing paramilitaries of Colombia, who have murdered Colombian campesinos and dressed their bodies in fake FARC guerrilla uniforms. And he is well known to have sent the same paramilitaries into Venezuela, via the western border region, to kill campesinos there and to try to smear Chavecito (unsuccessfully) as a FARC supporter. Not to mention to help stir up chaos on repeated occasions by way of a putsch.

And when a FARC guerrilla named Rodrigo Granda turned up in Caracas a few years ago, El Narco didn’t bother to ask for extradition like a proper president, he just sent agents in to kidnap Granda and drag him back to Colombia…which, as a gross violation of sovereignty, was a source of great outrage in Venezuela and led to a break in diplomatic relations between the two countries.

Now that he’s out of power AND no longer has Chavecito to kick around, the spiteful little turd has to lash out at somebody, and guess who that is. But Maduro (who is not only big enough to fold El Narco up and stick him in his pocket, but is also as mature as his surname would suggest) turns it back on him very succinctly and with great humor.

And in 140 characters or less, too.

Share this story:
Posted in Compare and Contrast, El NarcoPresidente, Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Karma 1, Dogma 0, Schadenfreude | Comments Off on Compare and Contrast: Nicolás Maduro vs. El Narco