News of the Restless

Wankers of the Week: Donnie’s No-Good, Very-Bad Week

Posted on December 1, 2017 by Sabina Becker

You know I do, baby.

Crappy weekend, everyone! By now it’s obvious just how bad a spot the US of Amnesia is in, with Donnie the Dictator at the increasingly unsteady helm. It’s obvious that he’s demented. It’s obvious that he’s a fascist (he even retweets OTHER fascists, for fucksakes). It’s obvious that something must be done, and sooner rather than later. And so, while we’re waiting for the indictments to roll down and the impeachments to begin, how about we do the thing Donnie hates most…laugh and point? And here’s who ELSE we’re ridiculing this week, in no particular order…

1. Sebastian Fucking Gorka. Ever notice how much he looks like a peptic ulcer with legs? Surely not because he’s straining so damn hard to reach that perfect macho image, eh?

2. Jeanine Fucking Lawson. Yeah, I’m not surprised that lesbian moms don’t like her. I don’t either, and I’m neither gay NOR a mom.

3. Nigel Fucking Farage. He never met a fascist he didn’t like…or a democrat he couldn’t smear. Careful, Nige, your true colors are showing.

4. Katie Fucking Hopkins. Finally, a bridge too far…and good ol’ Hatey Katie has been “effectively” sacked by the cowardly, wussy Daily Fail. One would ask what took them so long, but this is the same paper that cheered for Oswald Fucking Mosley and his schlumpy British Fascists, back in the day. So, one doesn’t ask; one just laughs and points.

5. Joel Fucking Pollak. A Ringo Starr song written (by the Sherman Brothers) for teenage boys to woo their girlfriends (or wish them a happy Sweet Sixteenth) is suddenly an excuse for grown men to go chasing after children? Now I’ve truly heard everything.

6. Bill Fucking Morneau. Yes, I know, stinky source. But just this once, the Scum — sorry, SUN — actually printed something by an NDPer. And I agree with every word.

7. Brian Fucking Stamp. Not feeling so tough now, are you, Mr. Knuckle-duster Gloves Nazi? Ha, ha. Maybe, if you don’t want to hurt your tender widdle baby hands, you should just stop being a violent right-wing thug, eh?

8. Jaime Fucking Phillips. Yeah, surprise…another phony from the laughably-named Project Veritas has been unmasked. By FACT-CHECKERS. Dear mainstream media, do yourselves a huge favor, and start employing them again. It will be a lot harder for anyone to call you “fake news” when you manage to get to the bottom of things the way you used to. And you might just find yourselves gaining readership and relevance again, too!

9. Sarah Fucking Huckabee Fucking Sanders. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how embarrassing it is to watch her trying to cover Donnie’s increasingly capacious ass.

10. Melania Fucking Drumpf. Hey! Remember Otho, the douchey decorator from Beetlejuice? Well, apparently he’s real. And she hired him to turn the White House into a holiday house of horrors!

11. Mike Fucking Huckabee. Hucky, Hucky, Hucky…how many times have you been told? If you have to ask whether something is racist, then yes, it probably IS. And yes, the Disney fake version of Pocahontas IS racist, because white people stole and twisted her story to make other white people feel better about indigenous genocides. And the real Pocahontas had an absolutely terrible and unromantic and thoroughly racist ending.

12. Angela Fucking Lansbury. It pains me to list Dame Angela…really, it does. But when she says that “sometimes” women must take the blame for sexual assault, that IS a wank. How many times do I have to say that we are responsible for no one else’s behavior — just our own? And no, we do not rape or sexually assault or harass ourselves. MEN DO THAT TO US. Aaargh. Are we clear now?

13. Eric Fucking Drumpf. Why yes, he IS that fucking dumb. It’s hereditary!

14. Ajit Fucking Pai. Now here, unlike #12, is someone it doesn’t pain me to list in the slightest. Because the idea that having more fascists, hatemongers, and crapitalism stinking up the internets makes us more “free” is just so transparently laughable.

15. Alex Fucking Jones. And speaking of fascism, hatemongering, crapitalism, and transparently laughable shit, here we have HIM. Whom I couldn’t NOT list, either, because damn — the chutzpah of calling Buzzfeed “fake news” when you’re the guy who’s been specializing in it from the outset? It is off the fucking CHARTS, y’all. PS: Holy shit. Lay off the paint chips already, dude…you’re crumbling before our eyes!

16. Roy Fucking Moore. And oh yeah, while we’re on the subject of off-the-charts chutzpah crumbling before our eyes, how ‘bout HIM? First he knew all the women who accused him of molesting them as teenagers, and now he doesn’t? Either he’s got the world’s fastest case of dementia, or he’s a fucking liar. Either way, that makes him unfit to hold office. PS: Ha, ha.

17. Lucian Fucking Wintrich. Oh Luuuuucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do! And please, make it a good one. Your writing and your speeches are soooooo boooooring.

18. Jayda Fucking Fransen. And of course, no wanklist would be complete without at least one fascist from across the pond. Whom Donnie thought it worthwhile to retweet. I believe a yoinking of her Twitter account is in order, no? (And why the fuck does she have that blue checkmark, anyway? She’s not worthy.) PS: No, dear, you may NOT have a Get Out Of Jail Free card from Donnie. He holds no power in the UK, remember?

19. Tom Fucking Friedman. Been a while since I’ve listed him, so what the hey. I think that singing the praises of a power-mad Saudi prince as an “Arab Spring, Saudi style” more than qualifies him for inclusion here, no?

20. Matt Fucking Lauer. Welcome to unemployment, Ratty. And welcome to Karma, too. Now every douchey thing you said to women on air, ever, is under the microscope…thanks to shit you did to women OFF air. Hope your boner has a permanent sad.

21. Denise Fucking McAllister. Who? Oh, just some “federalist” bonehead who literally thinks it’s God’s will to elect a racist child-molester instead of a man who convicted a racist child-KILLER. Nobody special, in other words. Unless, of course, you’re talking the “kind of stupid” species of special.

22. Anthony Fucking Scaramucci. Hey, remember Donnie’s disgraced buddy, who tried to out-Donnie Donnie? I’m not surprised that he resigned his post to an advisory board at Tufts. What does surprise me is that he was even on such a board in the first place. Even with as little as such boards generally do, he was blatantly underqualified. And his assault on the student newspaper (no doubt for telling the truth about him) is just one more strike against him.

23. Pat Fucking Robertson. How touching of Patwa to be so concerned about the careers of “terrific” men who are constantly letching around behind the scenes. Remind me again why anyone considers this old creep to be any kind of moral authority?

24. Geraldo Fucking Rivera. It just so figures that he’d defend #20’s extreme douchebaggery. I’m just waiting for the skeletons to come tumbling out of ol’ Gerry Rivers’ closet, you guys. And look! Here comes one now!

25. Franklin Fucking Graham. Add one more name to the list of Roy Fucking Moore’s enablers. And chalk this up as a prime example of the devil quoting scripture to serve his own ends.

26. Morgan Fucking Casper. Bawww, looky — a Drumpfite’s feelings are hurt! What a pity that he’s not in the shoes of his disabled neighbor, who hurt his feelings by (correctly) pointing out how dumb he was for voting for Gropey McHatemonger. After all, it’s not HIS life at stake. Just his feelings. Well, dude, as your fellow Drumpf voters have so often said: FUCK YOUR FEELINGS. If you can’t see that it’s not about your feelings but your neighbor’s right to exist, you really are too dumb to vote. Just as Donnie — a racist egomaniac who’s constantly on about HIS feelings while blatantly disregarding all else — is too dumb to president.

27. Tom Fucking McBroom. And speaking of feelings in need of a good fucking, how about this racist, who thinks that a murdered man’s girlfriend only wants that settlement money so that she can buy crack? Something tells me he wouldn’t be so “concerned” about how she spent the money if she and her late boyfriend were white, and if the murderer were not a cop.

28. Marsha Fucking Blackburn. #14 said something incredibly stupid, so she, of course, had to say “Me too!” And no, we’re not referring to the sexual misconduct hashtag.

29. Tony Fucking Hovater. Once more, with feeling: If you’re a Nazi and you’re fired, it’s your fault! (clap clap) If you’re a Nazi and you’re fired, it’s your fault! (clap clap) If you’re spotted in the mob, and you lose your fuckin’ job, if you’re a Nazi and you’re fired, it’s your fault! (clap clap stomp stomp YEE-HAW!)

30. Blake Fucking Richards. Heckling so much in the House of Commons that the Speaker himself has to call you out by name…and when you don’t shut up, he has you thrown out? How rude. How undignified. In short: How CONSERVATIVE!

And finally, to the lovely, LOVELY losers of the “alt”-right, who are also having a no-good, very-bad week of their own. Special shout-out to Jack Fucking Posobiec, who’s probably gonna be getting a knock from the FBI on his own door for libelling them all over the Internets. And to Gavin Fucking McInnes, whose nasty, icky sexual past has resurfaced to bite him. Good folks of the Wayback Machine, you may want to archive Gavvy’s not-so-proud pre-proudboy history, in which he wanked daily on the job in a circle jerk with his fellow Viceniks, and rubbed dicks inside a condom with another man during a very faily threesome attempt (no homo, though!)…in case it gets expunged by Peter Fucking Thiel’s attempts, so far unsuccessful, to buy up Gawker just so he can drive a stake through it for good.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Sam Seder under attack by “alt”-right rape apologist thugs

Posted on November 30, 2017 by Sabina Becker

A few things here worth noting:

Sam has since deleted his “disgusting” tweet, which was obviously typed in a mood of extreme sarcasm. Obviously, there is no way he would ever offer up his daughter to ANY pervert, however talented a film director (as in the case of Roman Polanski). Sarcasm is hard to convey over the Internet, unless somebody comes up with a special font for it. (I suggest one dripping blood, or snot.)

Also, Mike Cernovich, one of the ringleaders of the anti-Seder brigade, is a self-admitted rapist (albeit a very weaselly one, with a predictably narrow “definition” of rape that magically absolves him of all wrongdoing). There are numerous entries on his old pickup-“artistry” blog detailing how he forced himself on women who didn’t, in fact, want him. He has even admitted to “abusing a girl” (his own words!) and then saving all her texts…presumably as “evidence” that he didn’t really abuse her. His definition of “sex” is awfully hard to tell apart from rape; I’d even argue that it’s a distinction with no difference. He even peddled his “seduction secrets” to paying customers, though not too profitably (since he was forced to peddle magic virility juice, also not too profitably, on the side).

As for “Dr.” Sebastian Gorka, we already know who he is, and just how credible any accusation coming from him is. No doubt he has motives of his own for going after Sam Seder, including the fact that Sam has ridiculed him frequently and effectively on his show. And Juicebro Cernovich, too. They’ve both come in for a lot of ridicule with Sam’s show.

Gee, you don’t suppose that’s the real reason behind this harassment campaign, do you?

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Justice at last for (some) Argentine desaparicidos

Posted on November 30, 2017 by Sabina Becker

“The Disappeared: We all miss them.”

Dear MAGAts* and other fascist symps of the 21st century, you who are so fond of offering “free helicopter rides” to dissenters: Behold your evil idols, falling fast and smashing on the rocks like they did to their victims…

Two former Argentinian military pilots have been given life sentences for their part in the death of a close friend of Pope Francis, who was hurled to her death from an aircraft during the country’s 1976-83 dictatorship.

The ruling on Wednesday marked the first Argentinian judgement against participants in the so-called “death flights”, in which opponents of Argentina’s military regime were thrown into the freezing waters of the South Atlantic in an attempt to hide the murders.

The court heard that former coastguard pilots Mario Daniel Arrú and Alejandro Domingo D’Agostino were in the crew of the Skyvan PA-51 plane from which Esther Careaga and 11 other people were thrown to their death on the night of 14 December 1977. Careaga was a close friend of Jorge Bergoglio, who decades later became Pope Francis.

The pilots were among the 54 defendants in the massive trial, which also involved the cases of 789 victims of the Navy Mechanics Higher School, ESMA, in Buenos Aires, where up to 5,000 people are estimated to have been killed.

And for those who argue that the murderers and torturers and the pilots of the planes were “just doing their jobs”…may I remind you of where else that excuse did not wash? Yeah, that’s right, “alt”-right punks…your OG Nazis didn’t all get away with it either. (Mind you, those of them who did go to trial and learn this hard lesson there didn’t take nearly as long for justice to catch up to them. But then, World War II was not a Dirty War.)

Meanwhile, here’s what Papa Frankie himself had to say about his dear friend who was among the disappeared:

Careaga was seized by the military after denouncing the disappearance of her pregnant 16-year-old daughter Ana María. Along with two French nuns and nine others, she was thrown from a plane that left the city’s airport on the night of 14 December 1977. The court found that Arrú and D’Agostino had piloted the three-hour flight.

Careaga’s body, along with those of one of the nuns, Léonie Duquet, and two other mothers, Azucena Villaflor and María Bianco, washed ashore six days later and were buried in a common grave. Their remains were only identified via DNA testing in 2003.

Jorge Bergoglio met Careaga when he worked as an apprentice at a pharmaceutical laboratory in Buenos Aires in the early 1950s. Careaga was a feminist far ahead of her time, a biochemist and Bergoglio’s boss.

Bergoglio and Careaga developed a close friendship that they maintained up to the moment of her kidnapping by an ESMA death squad on the evening of 8 December 1977.

“Careaga was a good friend and a great woman,” said Bergoglio, then archbishop of Buenos Aires, when the bodies of the three mothers were identified in 2003.

Just a little reminder that the victims of fascist dictatorships are not insects, nor are they scum. They are people. INNOCENT people. People with a right to life, and whose deaths leave behind gaping holes in the fabric of society. People who leave behind unfinished work, parentless children and grandchildren, childless parents and grandparents. People who are sorely missed and never forgotten by the many people they loved, and who in turn loved them. And one of those people would later go on to become no less than a pope of the Roman Catholic Church.

And for those who say “But they’re old, why does it matter now?” — shut the fuck up. It MATTERS. It matters to those left behind, whose pain is still raw after 40 years. It matters for them to see justice done, no matter how late. And it matters to see that justice is done without leniency for the now-aged perpetrators, because what clemency did the innocent receive when they were drugged, flown over the Río de la Plata, and then hurled to their deaths — and all for not submitting willingly to fascist dictatorship?

Most of all, it matters because it sets a precedent for future cases…in case any damn fools are tempted to resurrect the Argentine fascist junta in the days to come. Maybe next time, it won’t take 40 years to bring THEM to justice.

*pronounced “maggots”, for reasons obvious.

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Posted in Der Drumpf, Don't Cry For Argentina, Fascism WITH Swastikas, Fascism Without Swastikas, If You REALLY Care, Isn't That Illegal?, Isn't That Terrorism?, Law-Law Land | Comments Off

German right-wing extremists assault police, escalate public confrontations

Posted on November 27, 2017 by Sabina Becker

A street sign in Halle, Germany, defaced with right-wing propaganda stickers. Such “postering” operations are part of a larger strategy to occupy and claim public space for the far right, say local residents.

Still think there’s no neo-Nazi problem in Germany? Don’t worry…even though the Nazis aren’t calling themselves that, there’s no doubt of what they are. They are THUGS. They are GANGS. They are TERRORISTS. And they are getting bolder, as this alternative media report makes clear:

Even at 9 a.m., 15 so-called Identitarians have gathered at the Halle district court. Their colleague, Andreas K., is on trial. The charges: Duress and bodily harm. It’s the third time K. has had to appear. The trial was halted after two dates in July 2017 due to failure to appear, and is being started up again.

Before the proceedings begin, Simon Kaupert — internet face of the right-wing extremists — takes pictures of everyone whom he considers political opponents. He apparently includes journalists in this. The accused, Andreas K., arrives at the courthouse half an hour ahead of time. His attorney is Matthias Brauer, who works for an AfD-adjacent council. The AfD still supports the Identitarian movement.

The victim, R., is on hand, with his lawyer, as a joint plaintiff. At 9:45 the trial begins in one of the largest courtrooms in the building. At both of the last two dates, there was fighting over seats, shoving in the crowd, and insults flew. This time none of that happens; five officials secure the hall. The night before, the Identitarians apparently had blown off enough steam.

The night before the trial, around 11 p.m., a group of five or six drunks shouted political slogans in front of the Identitarians’ house. The right-wing extremists yelled back, and mutual vulgarities ensued. According to eyewitness Daniel M.*, the Identitarians threw bottles from their house. Sophie R.*, who lives nearby, heard loud shouts of “Heil Hitler!” Afterwards, everything was quiet. Daniel M. doesn’t remember exactly, but says it could have been the Hitler-greeting. The police have begun an investigation. Supposedly, the drunks called out: “You sacks of chickenshit, come out of your house!”

M. then saw the small group wandering away from the house. A short time later, he saw two persons, one with a scarf in front of his mouth, crossing the Steintor campus. Two plainclothes detectives, as the police later confirmed.

At that point, the door at 16 Adam-Kuckhoff St. opened. The Identitarians carried baseball bats, a wooden plank, and pepper spray as they took to the street. One of the armed men was wearing a ski mask. Another had on a white DDR police helmet and carried a shield. They were 27 and 29 years old respectively. Their body language, according to eyewitnesses, was highly aggressive. “They were practically rocking with adrenaline as they walked,” said Daniel M. “They were really in the mood to hit somebody upside the head. That was anticipation.”

The plainclothes cops saw the two armed men. They whipped out their badges, identified themselves as police to the Identitarians, and tried to stop them. The Identitarians didn’t care. They doused one of the officers’ faces with pepper spray. They didn’t leave the policemen alone. The cops had to draw their pistols and take aim at the right-wing extremists. Only then did the Identitarians give up, and they were arrested. The police confiscated their weapons and old police gear. The state prosecutor has charged them with disturbing the peace and grievous bodily harm.

Online and in interviews, two Identitarians, state parliamentarian Hans-Thomas Tillschneider (AfD), whose office is in the Identitarian house, and city councillor Raue (also AfD), have tried to recast the assault. According to them it was all a misunderstanding, a regrettable mistake. They’ve even apologized to the authorities. Tillschneider has expressed his confidence in the Identitarians, but not the police. He told the Mitteldeutsche Zeitung on November 21 that the police officers were masked. Also, the Identitarians had confused them with the earlier attackers. The police department denies this categorically. Their officers, they say, had identified themselves numerous times. They had never been masked at any time. One of them had a scarf over his mouth, but that was all. Also, the police countered the accusation that the house was insufficiently protected:

“For a considerable time already, the police have taken various measures to assure security and order in the area of the building. The fact that all those involved in the area on November 20, 2017 have been identified, attests to that.”

AfD councillor Raue, however, changed the subject in an interview with MDR. He preferred to talk about the left-wing project house, “Hasi”, in Halle. He doesn’t mention the injured police officers and the violence of the Identitarians. Even CDU city councillor Scholtyssek often spoke out in the past against “Hasi”, characterizing the project house as “far-left”. He told the MDR that the city has no case against the Identitarians. He didn’t consider it necessary to deal with them.

On the day after the attack, Andreas K. sits in the dock. The Halle Identitarians walk in together, taking seats on the right side of the courtroom. The state prosecutor reads the charges for the second time. This time, K. doesn’t try to defend himself. He freely concedes that on March 9, 2016, he shoved left-wing student R. with full force out of a streetcar. The statements of R. and Andreas K. are, as at the first court date, almost identical.

The state prosecutor sees K’s statement as a clear confession, and demands a consultation. Now, only the sentencing remains to be determined. K’s attorney refuses, wants to hear from more witnesses. A little later, Judge Aschmann interrupts the proceedings for a lunch break. In that time, the state prosecutor, the defendant, and the judge agree on an end to the proceedings upon conditions. The plaintiff has no voice in this. Andreas K. must pay 500 euros in five installments to Caritas Halle. In return, the charges will be dropped on the grounds of triviality.

Judge Aschmann says, in conclusion, that the victim didn’t have to get onto the streetcar. The case only landed before court because it was a confrontation between right and left. For her, the act is a trivial matter. There were trials for much worse incidents that had to be halted.

In a closing statement, the plaintiff’s attorney characterized the trial closure and the judge’s reasoning as a strong signal to the assailants. These can now threaten and attack other people, without having to fear consequences. The speaker for Halle Mobile Victims’ Assistance is upset over the verdict: “Repeatedly, the justice system has relativized right-wing attacks as confrontations between right and left. That way, the real threat posed by right-wing ‘identitarian’ extremists goes completely unrecognized.”

Meanwhile, over 120 neighbors of the brown house have organized. They have written an open letter to the right-wing extremists, in which they expressly protest against having them for neighbors. Mayor Bernd Wiegand and the “Together” organization support them in this. This initiative also began after the assault on November 20. They regularly talk about experiences with the Identitarians.

A local resident says that a few weeks ago, she was sitting in her car and writing a text message. She would like to remain unnamed. A group of 5-6 persons came out of the IB house. “They then split up and spent the next 20 minutes posting stickers,” she says. She says that an experienced Identitarian always has some kind of apprentice with him at such actions. “That’s how they train their people,” she suspects. “The younger ones didn’t take a step without the bigger ones in the postering, they were like their shadows.”

Identitarian groups patrol the area, intimidating residents, bumping into them, threatening them.

Sophie R. says that the confrontations usually take place on a nonverbal level. “They make way for you to pass; you have to walk between them. That way, there’s automatic body contact,” says the resident. For many, that is extremely unpleasant. “You get jostled in the process,” says Sophie R. But the neighbors won’t let themselves be intimidated: “If you walk around them, you give them room, and in the end, you still get dumb things yelled at you.” Residents characterize the behavior of the Identitarians as a space-occupying strategy.

*Name changed to protect privacy.

Translation mine.

Yeah, those fine, upstanding neo-Nazis. Such good little kids. So clean-cut. So reputable. They even assault the cops, not even bothering to try to “befriend” them anymore, as neo-Nazi infiltrators on this side of the big pond are currently doing, and used to do back in the heyday of the Heritage Front. Then, as now, the police were blindsided by the far right, failing to see them as a threat — probably because the far right sucked up to them and fed them the idea that the antifascists were the real troublemakers. And the cops, being none too bright (by design), bought that lie hook, line and sinker.

But in Germany? These guys are open gangsters, thugs and disreputables. Just get a load of their building:

Looks lovely, doesn’t it. Just like all those ugly fashy stickers they put up all over everything, even signs indicating access routes for emergency vehicles, like the one at the top. Pretty sure that’s illegal, as well as a total eyesore.

So, all those of you who think that there’s a “both sides” in this, just contemplate this: Where are the legal charges against the alleged “far left”, who are allegedly “just as bad” as the far right? Because there haven’t been any. The leftists are behaving in a civilized fashion, organizing and petitioning through proper legal channels. They’re not out all over the streets, deliberately running into people and jostling them and yelling shit at them. That’s what the latest iteration of the Nazis, the so-called “Identitarians”, are doing.

And it’s ultimately going to work against them…whenever the law finally catches up to those fucking goons. Unfortunately, it can’t come soon enough. And the judge’s blinkered response here just speaks for itself.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Confessions of a Bad German, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fine Young Cannibals, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Isn't That Racist?, Isn't That Terrorism?, Law-Law Land | Comments Off

Music for a Sunday: Suddenly, time took a turn…

Posted on November 26, 2017 by Sabina Becker

“What begins as an unguarded train of thought slowly can become an addiction to the slumber of disconnection and the resonance of memory that no longer has a shape but keeps you numb through the hours till gone is another day…”

My God, how did they know?

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Wankers of the Week: Happy Amurrican Wanksgiving!

Posted on November 24, 2017 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one to all the turkeys Donnie pardoned…and I don’t mean the ones with feathers. If you thought the balloons at the Macy’s parade were full of hot air, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Here come the stars of this week’s shitshow, in no particular order:

1. Kay Fucking Ivey. She knows what Roy Fucking Moore is, but she’s voting for him anyway, because pious hypocrites who molest teens are needed to pick SCOTUS judges? Well, that’s loyalty for ya. And that’s also damn stupid for ya. And that’s gonna come back to bite her sooner than she knows, too.

2. Paul Fucking Golding. No, dopey, you and Jayda Fucking Franson were NOT arrested for “no bloody reason”. You were arrested for a damn good bloody reason, and that bloody reason is that you’re both fascists with ties to terrorists, if not in fact actual terrorists yourselves. And neither one of you should have the right to go around ginning up hate.

3. Tommy Fucking Robinson. Oh boo fucking hoo, you weren’t allowed to troll around a pool hall handing out hate-lit! Cry me a river, you fucking crock.

4. Aric Fucking Frydberg. Because it wouldn’t be a wankapedia without Florida Man, here’s one who seriously thought his ol’ pal Donnie Fucking Drumpf was gonna get him off the hook for being an antisemitic pothead having a freakout while driving very much under the influence. Yes, really.

5. Ivanka Fucking Drumpf. Because why merely decorate for US Thanksgiving when you could do so without a shred of taste whatsoever? But hey, at least none of the pumpkins were big and orange, so they wouldn’t give her old man an inferiority complex.

6. Eric Fucking Drumpf. Not content to let his sister hog all the fatherly favor — ahem, wanks — he just had to pipe up too. I’m only six wanks into this list so far, and already I’ve exceeded my quota for vicarious embarrassment, y’all.

7. Kellyanne Fucking Conway. You and #1 just come up with the most ringing endorsements ever for bad ideas, hon. Ever consider that you might just be a disgrace to your entire gender? PS: And also, you’re getting dragged into court. Ha, ha.

8. Janet Fucking Porter. And speaking of disgraces to one’s gender, there’s this one…who seems to be all in favor of throwing innocent girls to the wolves in the name of so-called Christianity. What the actual fucking FUCK, woman?

9. Kevin Fucking Swanson. Meanwhile, in other news of so-called Christianity, we have this thundering dunderhead…who seems to forget that Sodom wasn’t wiped out because of same-sex marriage, which that infamous mythical city in fact didn’t have. It was wiped out for something HE has for sure and certain: arrogance in spades and no compassion for those in need. How about criticizing “godly men” who molest girls, Kevvy?

10. David Fucking Stephan. Oh gawd, HIM again with his anti-vaxxer bullshit that killed his son, STILL slagging people who understand medicine and health in ways that he can’t even begin to comprehend. Would someone stick a maple-syrup-coated sock in him, please?

11. Lena Fucking Dunham. Oh gawd, HER again, with her white “feminist” bullshit that’s giving feminism and white women alike a bad name. Fortunately, she’s having a no-good, very-bad week of it, and is still getting served. Ha, ha.

12. Sarah Fucking Huckabee Fucking Sanders. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how dumb and dorky it is to treat a White House press conference like a kindergarten Thanksgiving pageant. Everyone in the room is a fucking adult, so fucking treat them like it!

13. Alex Fucking Jones. Ladies! Would YOU like to reproduce with an unstable man who snacks on lead paint chips — oh sorry, “male vitality supplements”? Hey…wait…where are you going, and why are you running so fast? Alex will have you know that he fucked over 150 grown women before he was 16, so he can totally cut the mustard! Stop laughing!

14. Mike Fucking Cernovich. Meanwhile, #13’s sidekick is trying weally, WEALLY hard to out-wack him. And with his contention that a batshit-bonkers general was ousted for “investigating pedophilia” (rather than simply being a corrupto who got compromised by Russia), he just might do it. Mikey, Pizzagate is over. Time to clean the shit out of your shorts.

15. Bryan Fucking Hammond. Never make accusations as a “joke” to mock serious accusers…because it could turn out that you are seriously going to lose your fucking job over it, and you seriously fucking deserve to. (Also, NO, silence is NOT consent. Some of us have been silent because of fear, repressed upbringings, threats…or just something of somebody’s in our mouths that we did not consent to having there.)

16. Flip Fucking Benham. Oh sure, Roy Fucking Moore was looking for the “purity” of a teenager, all right…because he got off on violating it when he molested them. He was so predatory that he needed a cop to keep him away from the girls! And he even cast his eye on his now-wife when she was very much under-age, and he was very much assaulting his other victims. Oops! There goes THAT cockamamie theory.

17. Mark Fucking Bauerlein. Waaaa, Wanksgiving is ruined because you still support Donnie Drumpf and no one else in your family (or faculty) does! Poor widdle snowflake, my heart bleeds for you and your “30-year discouragement”. During which period, for the record, I majored in English lit and journalism, and found nothing from dead white men to have been “discouraged” in the slightest. Quite the opposite, actually. And if you seriously think your beloved so-called Western Canon is one of “unsuppressed creativity”, you need to get out more…and start talking to women and non-white authors. Because there HAS been suppression of creativity on their part, and lots of it. Mostly from men who look (and “think”) a lot like you. But of course, you’re not going to call THAT particular species of blinkered clannishness “identity politics”…ARE you?

18. David Fucking Bossie. Good feckin’ lard. You know you’re backing a bad horse when even FUX Snooze and its slavish idiots are hemming and hawing at you!

19. Brett Fucking Doster. Well, happy Wanksgiving to you, too. And please feel free to enjoy your candidate’s falling poll numbers, and the rising ones of his rival!

20. Mike Fucking Hughes. You guys, I’m torn. On the one hand, I think his idea is a terrible one and it’s bound to blow up on him if he ever raises enough money to carry it through. On the other hand, he IS a flat-Earther who doesn’t believe in science, so…

21. Joe Fucking Barton. Well, here’s a switcheroo. All the other times I’ve listed him here, it was for his bad political decisions and anti-science wanking. Now, he’s this week’s LITERAL wanker as well. And yes, he’s just as disgusting about it as you might have guessed he was. Right down to sending photos and VIDEOS of himself in flagrante, to women who I’m sure were oh, SO impressed…and by “impressed”, I mean they must have needed Gravol to get through it all. (I know I would have.) PS: And just for extra ewww, there’s this. Because he’s not just a dirty old man, he’s a vengeful one.

22. Peter Fucking Kent. Fentanyl deaths on the street? Pfffff, that’s greasy kid stuff. Petey thinks pot is the real problem. Yes, POT. And once more, I must reiterate: What a pity for him that his little brother got all the looks AND all the brains in the family.

23. Richard Fucking Spencer. Is that a mosquito-like whine I hear? Yes, it is. And it’s coming from Dickie. Who’s kvetching because he’s been trounced from more than one location now, and is working on yet another. Man, what an obnoxious little fucker he is. No wonder Europe doesn’t want him!

24. Donald Fucking Drumpf, Jr. Yes, he’s in the mix, too. And Billy Baldwin has mopped the floor with his ass. Ha, ha. PS: And don’t go poking Bob Mueller, either, Diapers. He BITES.

25. Pamela Fucking Geller. What’s that nonsensical gobbling I hear? A turkey? Oh, it’s a turkey, all right…but not the avian kind. It’s her, pitching a hissyfit because Butterball turkeys are now apparently certified halal, so Muslims can give thanks too. Shhhh, nobody tell Pammy that Allah is the same god as hers, just going by another name. She might blow an artery!

26. David Fucking Leyonhjelm. By now, Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos is persona non grata in any self-respecting place, but I guess somebody Down Under didn’t get the message…YET.

27. Jenni Fucking Weinman. Hello? 2017 calling. Just wanted to inform you that yes, boyfriends CAN rape girlfriends. Having a relationship going doesn’t make it not-rape. This has been your wake-up call. Please hang up now, and do not wank again. BEEP!

28. Tiger Fucking Woods. How low could he go? Playing golf with Donnie low. Better watch it, dude, I hear HE cheats, too!

29. Drew Fucking Barnes. Well, so much for the KenneyCons and their attempt to distance themselves from the “alt”-Nazis of their base from Heritage Front days. Anyone who’d be dumb enough to pay $80 to see this one behind The (so-called) Rebel’s paywall isn’t gonna be bright enough to know the difference anyway, and is probably more than happy to see them palling around together. But the rest of us? Yeah, we’re avoiding these guys like the weeping gummas they are.

30. Tomi Fucking Lahren. Have I listed her yet this week? NO? Well, now I have. You’re welcome!

And finally, to all the fucking idiots who swarmed the shopping malls today. From rabid shoppers who just had to trample others to death for that not-so-hot deal, to the neo-Nazis who tried (and failed) to hang a white-pride banner at the Mall of America, I salute you…with one finger.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Posted in Wankers of the Week | Comments Off

Young Turks fire Jordan Chariton

Posted on November 23, 2017 by Sabina Becker

The other day, a Facebook group I’m in posted this, in which investigative reporter Jordan Chariton let slip that he was fired from the Young Turks, but would not say exactly why. Well, today I finally learned why, and it’s a shocker. Here’s Cenk Uygur with what details (not all, obviously) he could go into on the matter:

So there you have it. Sexual harassment, assault and a lot of other inappropriate behind-the-scenes shit (admitted to right here, initially presented as “consensual”, but a few paragraphs later as part of some ghastly female “takedown conspiracy”) that shouldn’t be happening.

And people wonder why there are so few women in investigative journalism? THAT’s why. Doesn’t matter what political stripe a man is, they ALL benefit from male privilege and sexism. And abuse of female underlings is one of the many fringe benefits these guys enjoy. This has to end.

The women, though? Clearly, they’re NOT enjoying this. And when they speak out, they get tarred as “conspirators”. For talking. To each other, or to the higher-ups, or both. This, too, has to end.

It’s a pity this had to happen to a guy who did good work reporting on Flint and DAPL, but if this is how he actually comported himself when the cameras were no longer rolling, then good riddance. Industries have to purge themselves of destructive elements all the time, and journalism is no exception. There are a lot of shitty media men out there, who show a talented face to the world and quite another behind closed doors.

There’s no shortage of others who are just as good, and who won’t pull grotty shenanigans on every woman they run across — or ANY woman. Time to give the good ones their shot, and the bad ones the sack. Yes, even the so-called progressives who act in mighty unprogressive ways when they think no one’s looking. Because there’s no shortage of THEM, either.

Don’t let the door hit you where your mama done split you, dude.

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Posted in Men Who Just Don't Get It, The United States of Amnesia, Uppity Wimmin | Comments Off

Dear right-wingers: Charles Manson is YOUR boy.

Posted on November 22, 2017 by Sabina Becker

There is less difference between these two than you might initially think.

So, FUX Snooze has its underoos in a twist because the “once reputable Newsweek” has likened the late, largely unlamented Charles Milles (or Maddox, depending who you ask) Manson to their God-Emperor, Donnie Fucking Drumpf. Brian Flood is all in a tizzy because Melissa Matthews had the temerity to interview a number of psychological experts who noted what’s obvious to any lay person: Manson and Drumpf share, at a bare minimum, an ability to evoke a slavish cultism among their followers through their use of rhetoric. Flood, marshalling a less reputable “expert” panel of his own, takes his best stab at the piece to discredit it, but stumbles and falls on his own sword at the end:

The article’s comment section includes messages from people that realize how absurd the comparison is. One reader called it “hilariously pathetic” and another said it’s “the dumbest thing I’ve read in a while.”

A third reader perhaps summed it up best: “Wow, both Manson and Trump used language to gain followers? Next you’re going to tell me that they both drank water to quench thirst. You’ve cracked the case Newsweek. Now every leader will be using language to gain follows.”

Thou shalt not commit psychology. Or, Bog forbid, JOURNALISM.

But hey. At least Newsweek noted that there are similarities between the respective cults of Manson and Drumpf. And if anything, Melissa Matthews went the conservative route, only comparing their undeniably similar uses of rhetoric to persuade the unwary to abandon good sense and follow, follow, follow. There are other parallels between Charlie and Donnie, and they point to a common origin: the fascistic undercurrent in the US right.

Let’s start with what should be obvious: Both of these men are (or were) racist as hell. And racism is as US-American as apple pie and turkey trots. Its roots are in the slave era, and its branches stretch up through Reconstruction, Jim Crow, and the still-incomplete achievements of the Civil Rights era. It drove indigenous peoples off their lands and onto the Trail of Tears, with smallpox-contaminated blankets to accompany them to what Bruce Cockburn so aptly called “the local Third world” of the reservations. It was the inspiration for Adolf Hitler himself. And it’s significant that the same country that furnished Hitler with the basis for his ideology recently voted against a UN resolution against the glorification thereof.

That same ideology gave birth not only to Manson’s twisted visions of his future as a dictatorial cult-king, but also the all-too-real cult of Drumpf.

When called upon to condemn the white supremacists who hijacked Charlottesville’s fusty old Confederate statuary as a focal point for their “Unite the Right” rallies, Donnie hesitated. (He who hesitates is worse than lost.) Then he tap-danced around the issue, saying that there were “very fine people on both sides”. He was notably slow and reluctant to condemn what any decent person would have condemned outright, without even putting much thought into the matter. His “both sides” equivocation makes one wonder which “sides” he was referring to: the KKK and the neo-Nazis? The so-called “Alt-Right” and “Alt-Lite”? Because there is certainly no equivalence between those rotters and the motley crowd of antifascists who turned out to oppose them. Fascists endorse racism and genocide (even when claiming to protest “white genocide”, their ludicrous and unfounded belief that people of other colors are being trucked in by a cabal of Jews to “replace” an under-reproducing, demoralized white race).

Antifascists oppose all that, upholding the right of people of every color to exist, side by side, in peace, as equals. There is no “alt-left”. Anti-fascism is, or ought to be, the default position for anyone with a conscience. There are only truly fine people on one side here, and it’s not the right. This should be a no-brainer.

But then again, the cultists of Drumpf aren’t exactly what you’d call smart. Hearing them talk, it’s hard to believe they haven’t been brainwashed. And the weasel words that washed their brains, which Donnie calls the “best words”, are little better than kindergarten level.

As for Charles Manson, he was a bit less weaselly than Donnie about his racism. He took the title of a Beatles song — Helter Skelter — and applied it to his vision of a race war which blacks might initially seem to win, but from which Manson himself, leading a band of murderous, amoral white cultists, would ultimately emerge victorious. The New York Times, in its review of Vincent Bugliosi’s book, called it “the most repugnant and meaningless crime of our era”, but they were only half right. It was repugnant, yes, but hardly meaningless: Manson had the whole Rahowa notion down pat in his own mind, long before actual swastika-wearing backwoodsmen would take it up formally and in earnest twenty years later. (It’s worth noting, too, that Manson even went to the trouble of branding himself with a swastika in prison, right on the forehead where no one could miss it. And no, he was not being ironic.)

There are other parallels between the two, too. Sexism intertwines with racism in both men’s strains of thought. Compare Donnie’s “racehorse breeding” notions of what constitutes a ruling class (he considers this highly artificial institution to be a “natural” one; remind you of anybody?) and the Manson ideology of reproduction, as recounted by Ed Sanders in The Family:

Charlie encouraged childbirth. Rubbers, pills, IUDs, diaphragms and, Lord forbid, vasectomy were not allowed. Women, according to the Manson hype, had no souls but were super-aware slaves whose duties were to whelp and to serve men. Ironically, there were actually very few pregnancies in the Family, a fact, according to Sandy Good, that used to upset Charlie.

It stands to reason that Charlie would have had a special dislike for birth control. After all, how much of a master race can one man breed if his female followers aren’t sufficiently fertile — or, heaven forfend, he himself isn’t, either? And how likely would such a small elite group be to take over once the Helter Skelter race-war had died down and the cult emerged from seclusion to take back the reins of power once and for all, in a Thousand-Year Reich fantasy to rival Hitler’s own?

Compare that to the “white genocide”/”white ethnostate” fever dreams of Donnie’s “fine people” of the “Unite the Right” rabble. Go on. Dare to see the parallels. They are there.

So, dear far-righturds of the US of Amnesia, face facts: Charles Milles/Maddox Manson is your boy, just as much as Donnie is. But since Manson landed in prison for orchestrating a series of murders designed to be blamed on imaginary black criminals, none of you want to claim him. Like FUX Snooze, you shrink and screech when confronted with even a tiny amount of evidence of the undeniable parallels between the two men.

Satirists are doing a better job than your own so-called journalists of tallying it all up. That’s pitiful, but hardly surprising. Like the Helter Skelter fantasy, what passes for Deep and Serious Thought on the right is abortive and farcical, when not in blatant denial of the facts. Nevertheless, the fact remains that dear dead Charlie is all yours. Deal with it.

After all, it’s not like anyone else could claim him.

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Posted in Bullies, Crapagandarati, Der Drumpf, Drrrrruuuugs, Fascism WITH Swastikas, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fetus Fetishists, Filthy Stinking Rich, Fine Young Cannibals, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Racist?, Isn't That Terrorism?, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Sick Frickin' Bastards, Teh Heterostoopid, Teh Injunz, The Hardcore Stupid, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

Quotable: Ed Sanders on the Manson Family murders

Posted on November 20, 2017 by Sabina Becker

“The Manson case had everything — it ripped aside enough of the veils of Hollywood to titillate the nation’s and even the world’s interest. It had rock and roll, it had the lure of the Wild West, it had the essence of the 1960s with its sexual liberation, its love of the outdoors, its ferocity and its psychedelic drugs. It had the hunger for stardom and renown; it had religions of all kinds, it had warfare and homegrown slaughter, it had it all in a huge moiling story of sex, drugs and violent transgression.

“The more I dug into this case the more upset I became over what these people and their connective groups had done and were still doing. I was revolted by some of the things I learned while researching this book. I realized that during my years in the counterculture I had sometimes behaved imperfectly, and had strayed from portions of the Judeo-Christian tradition in which I was raised. But what I came across seemed to me to be evil, and you don’t have to be perfect — in fact you can be quite imperfect — to be revolted by practitioners of deliberate evil.”

–Ed Sanders, from the Introduction to the Revised and Updated Edition of his classic work on the Manson murders, The Family.

(Appropriately enough, I had just finished the last book I was reading this morning, and cracked into this one…after finding out that Charles Manson, at long last, had died earlier today. May he rot, and may his spectre never again haunt this Earth.)

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