News of the Restless

Wankers of the Week: Andrew Jackson is angry!

Posted on May 5, 2017 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone! Hey, did you know that Andrew Fucking Jackson saw the Civil War coming, even though he died sixteen years before it began, and was mad about it? True story! I know because Der Drumpf told me so. Unfortunately, he was full of shit, as usual. Sad! And here’s who else was full of it this week, in no particular order:

1. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. $12 million from unnamed fascist donors in the name of Freeze Peach? Yeah, NOPE. Vilo would probably make more real cash if he just pawned those fake pearls he loves to clutch all the time, as he whines that he’s being censored like a good professional victim. He also forgets that we know it’s not his first rodeo. If he really got $12 mil, it would already be gone to all the people he stiffed in his past trolling “ventures”. Or all those rubes he tricked into contributing to his “privilege fund”, which privileged no one but himself.

2. Sebastian Fucking Gorka. So long, farewell, auf Nimmerseh’n, adieu. Unfortunately, he’s not back in Hungary yet. But maybe he and #1 will both end up getting reported to ICE shortly, eh?

3. Tony Fucking Blair. Here’s your “bucket of wotsit”, Toady Bliar. Nobody wants you back in British politics, and not just because you’ll always and forever be known as Dubya’s Poodle. It’s also because you, like the Tories and UKIPpers who created Brexit, thought nothing of selling out your own people to private interests for a fistful of shit.

4. Josh Fucking Duggar. If he doesn’t get the special right to oppress others, he’s being oppressed! Well, at least this sister-molesting bigot is up-front about his intentions. But he’s still projecting like some lowly schmuck in the backroom of the Cineplex Odeon. And he doesn’t understand the meaning of ascribe, either. (The word you’re looking for is subscribe, you moron.)

5. Benny Fucking Hinn. And while we’re on the subject of special oppressors, how about him? He finally got a taste of what it feels like on the other end of the stick…as the IRS raided his offices last week. Ha, ha.

6. Alex Fucking Jones. Hot on the heels of his child-custody loss, the “performance actor” who really believes every line he spouts decided to give a press conf on the courthouse steps. And it sounded remarkably like that gibberish he spouts on all his podcasts.

7. Mike Fucking Martin. Looks like YouTube’s infamous “DaddyOFive” is now DaddyOThree. As the oldest of six kids, I have to say that if my parents had exploited us the way he did his, they’d have been pilloried. I’m just wondering why it took so long to get those kids removed from this greedy, abusive piece of shit and his complicit (second) wife. And why he still has access to any of his kids at all, because he seems to treat all of them pretty damn horribly.

8. Joe Fucking Walsh. Deadbeat dad slags caring dad for promoting universal healthcare following a life-saving surgery on the latter’s newborn son. There really isn’t much to say to this guy other than YOU WORTHLESS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, is there?

9. Kim Fucking Davis. Two years ago, she was derelict in her duties…and today, she’s being sued for that. Shoulda done your job, Kim.

10. Jeff Fucking Sessions. Special snowflakes don’t get any specialer or snowier than Jeffy-poo, who is apparently so very thin of skin that he can’t even brook someone involuntarily laughing at him.

11. Kristopher Fucking Allan. He can’t even spell his own name right, it seems…he keeps tacking on an h at the end of his surname, where one clearly sees an n actually is. Oh yeah, must be because he’s a projecting fucking perverted hypocrite, eh?

12. Tomi Fucking Lahren. Oh, White Grievance Cheerleader. Your mission in life is to make white people less afraid of offending black folks, is it? Well, it looks like the neo-Nazis are indeed emboldened, no thanks to you. Pat yourself on the back, and don’t forget to strap on your swastika and your hooded bedsheet.

13. Ben Fucking Carson. Since when have homeless shelters EVER been comfortable, never mind “too comfortable”? You do realize that the only thing less comfortable would be a grate over a sewer vent or a box under a bridge, right?

14. Steve Fucking Muñoz. Would it surprise you greatly to learn that Gropey McBabyhands has appointed another molester to the State Dept.? NO? Well, good, because he HAS. Ugh.

15. Nancy Fucking Pelosi. While Bernie Sanders takes the flak for endorsing a candidate who is personally anti-abortion but publicly pro-choice, guess what Nancy’s up to? Yeah, that’s right: defending anti-choicers while letting Bernie twist in the wind for no good reason at all. And saying that abortion is “kind of fading as an issue”, even as the Repugnicans are preparing a full-out assault on women’s reproductive rights, right down to birth control. How feminist of her!

16. Sean Fucking Spicer. Spare us your crocodile tears over Jimmy Kimmel’s son, Easter Bunny Boy. Everybody knows that if they had a kid with the same condition, Drumpfcare would have them paying through the nose for treatment…or letting the kid die. Some fucking choice that would be!

17. Sharon Fucking Armke. Oh you poor widdle thing, getting beaten up by intolerant human rights supporters who won’t respect your “religious” persecution of LGBT folks! And your persecution of LGBT folks who happen to be kids, more specifically. Who’s the child abuser again? Y-O-U.

18. Jeffrey Fucking Lord. Dude, your bossman’s in a hole already. Stop digging…oh wait, is that dirt falling down on both of you? Keep digging! Ha, ha.

19. Joel Fucking Richardson. Drumpf isn’t God, you sacrilegious fucking imbecile. And he’s not God’s “anointed”, either. God does not anoint groping adulterers — sinners do!

20. Roy Fucking Moore. Oh you poor widdle snowflake baby, you’re being “persecuted” for “telling the truth”. I.e., people are telling the truth about YOU, and you THINK that makes you persecuted. And now I’m going to pile on and “persecute” you, too. Shut the fuck up and go the hell away already, Ten Commandments Asshole.

21. John Fucking Natale. And speaking of poor persecuted snowflakes who get so offended by anyone who’s not hateful like them: Hey hater, how’s it feel to be schooled on sensitivity and citizenship by a little seventh-grader? Ha, ha.

22. William Fucking Shatner. And sticking with the persecuted-snowflakes theme, since it seems to be everywhere this week: MISANDRY! Only, you know, that’s not an actual thing. Unless you’re an oversensitive dude stewing in his own unexamined toxic masculinity who thinks that anything women do that isn’t all about pleasing and placating him is somehow “hateful”.

23. Doug Fucking Collins. And MOAR snowflake baby boys! This one thinks that Sheila Jackson Lee is “hysterical” just because she, a black woman Democrat, invoked God — which, as everyone knows, is something only white male Republicans who are also preachers get to do without being deemed “hysterical” for it!

24. Conrad Fucking Black. Oh look, Lord Blah-Blah has something to say about Der Drumpf. It’s all laudatory and normalizing, so of course it’s bullshit. STFU, Lord Blah-Blah. And why are you not STILL in prison, come to think of it?

25. Kevin Fucking Swanson. No, public school does NOT turn kids into “transgender communists”. I should know, because I’m a proud public school alumna, and I’m still as cis and just plain socialist as ever. And even if it did turn kids into what he says it does — so what? There’s nothing wrong with trans people, OR communists. There is, however, plenty wrong with being a pig-ignorant, religiofascist, capitalist BIGOT. And he’s all of the above.

26. David Fucking Eastman. Women get abortions just so they can travel? WHERE? Oh, I see…WASILLA. Sarah Fucking Palin’s bailiwick. Crystal-meth capital of Alaska. Nothing going on there except maybe when one of the Quitbull’s brood gets into trouble with the law for the kajillionth time. And then there’s every time this dude runs his shit-ignorant mouth. Yeah, I can see how one might want to get an abortion just to get away from THAT!

27. David Fucking Wilson. And speaking of Wasilla snowbillies, there’s also this guy. Another thing to want to get away from, especially if you’re a local journalist.

28. Jason Fucking Chaffetz. Obamacare for me, none for thee. Print that on a bumper sticker and slap it on your scooter, boy, so everyone will know who to come for with a baseball bat when their kid dies of a “pre-existing condition”.

29. Carmen Fucking Rios. What the hell kind of “feminist” wishes for the death of Bernie Sanders, who is more progressive (and ultimately, better for ALL women) than Hillary Clinton? Uh, this one. Curb your enthusiasm, sister, he’s still got plenty of life in him. But I can see that your political career is bound for an early grave.

30. Scottie Fucking Nell Fucking Hughes. Why the double Fucking? Because that’s how asinine she is for saying “Mazel Tov cocktail”…and then for getting on Samantha Bee’s case when the latter made fun of her for it, demanding a “sincere apology”, which I somehow doubt she’ll get. If anything, she’ll get more mockery…and she’ll deserve it. Drumpf’s minions are all clearly as thin-skinned as their idiot boss.

And finally, to the 217 fucking Repugs in the US house of representatives who voted for Drumpfcare. You are all vile and unforgivable, and you are all going to lose in the next electoin. May you all be struck with impotence in the meantime, and may none of your free prescription drugs help. In fact, may all of your dicks dry up and fall off. You smirky, beer-guzzling pieces of shit.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Appy polly loggies.

Posted on May 4, 2017 by Sabina Becker

I’m feeling under the weather (cold, wet, and very rainy) tonight, and not up to a whole lot of serious blogging lately. Please accept this song in lieu of anything else to say:

PS: Tomorrow’s wankapedia is still on schedule, so please check back at day’s end for it. Thanks.

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Bernie burns Drumpf

Posted on May 3, 2017 by Sabina Becker

So okay, this is a few days late. (I only saw this just this morning.) But it’s not a penny short.

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Posted in Der Drumpf, Economics for Dummies, Filthy Stinking Rich, Heroes for Today, Isn't It Ironic?, Not So Compassionate Conservatism, Socialism is Good for Capitalism!, The Bern, The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

On (re-)reading The Handmaid’s Tale: A few random thoughts

Posted on May 2, 2017 by Sabina Becker

The first time I read The Handmaid’s Tale, I was in university…and I didn’t understand it at all.

To be fair, I was probably about 19 or 20. The book was just a couple of years old, a major bestseller already, and critically acclaimed. It was one of those “you have to read this” books, so I read it. And didn’t get it.

I was at university, so I had a lot of reading to do already. I was very young, and like all young people, caught up in my own emotional, educational and possible career plans, so I was not as up on current and world affairs as I am today. And I was not a bible-thumping religious type — in fact, I had barely read the bible, and found most of what I had read insufferably boring and irrelevant to modern times, so I missed the religious references almost altogether. If not for the epigraphs on the front page and the blurb on the back, I wouldn’t have had the foggiest clue what the story was all about.

The book didn’t frighten me as much as it simply bewildered me. Was this really supposed to be a vision of the future? Because if it was, I didn’t recognize a thing in it. The pseudo-biblical terminology slid right by me, as it would for anyone who was not brought up to be very religious. The futuristic extrapolations, too, slid by, as they would for someone whose present was defined mainly by her grades, her friends, her crushes and (failed) romances. The rest of the world was distant, mediated by TVs and radios that you could turn off if they bored you. And the story itself was so choppy, so disjointed, I could barely follow it. Only a few striking, discordant images stood out in my mind: nuns in scarlet habits and white-winged bonnets, whose job it was to get pregnant by other women’s husbands? A suffocating world of spies, lies, and cars with eyes? What?

And that was the impression it left on Very Young Me. Too-Young-to-Get-It Me was so utterly, boringly predictable. And whether I realized it or not, Margaret Atwood had her number. MY number, I should say.

Fast-forward to Not-So-Young Me. The second time around, in my thirties, I grasped it a lot more. By then, I’d acquired the necessary critical background on the religious and societal aspects of the story. And I had the wits to be scared by the implications, especially when reading an interview with the author in the back of the book (obviously, a newer edition of the book by now; this one advertising the then-upcoming opera based on the story). Margaret Atwood said she hadn’t included anything in the book that had not already been tried somewhere, by some society, in the world. So this freaky fiction isn’t all made up out of nowhere.

And I looked, and sure enough, I saw the parallels. Theocracy: Check, though this I knew mostly from things I’d seen about Iran. The US certainly had plenty of elements of it, though, with a lot of lawmakers unable or unwilling to understand why the church must be separated from the state. The public executions, with corpses left hanging on a wall to admonish the onlookers: Check, again. Iran and Afghanistan came to mind. And the public beheadings in Saudi Arabia, too. And even closer to home, I recalled how hangings used to be public here in North America, too, back when capital punishment was the law of the land for severe offences (and it still is, in some US states, although not by hanging anymore). Widespread infertility, necessitating sperm donors for some and surrogate mothers for others? Well, okay, that one wasn’t quite a check. Most people who want to get pregnant and produce biological offspring of their own do still manage it just fine, and there are plenty of us who don’t want any and are able to freely exercise our choice not to have any, too. The problem in today’s 7-billion-plus world is not infertility, but either a surfeit of fertility, or in the case of those who want children and are able to control how many, getting the timing right and making sure the final outcome is healthy.

But that being said, there ARE surrogate mothers. And in more recent years, there’s been an explosion of surrogacy in poorer countries, where women have virtually no other chances of lucrative employment. Surrogacy tourism has become a thing, and a deplorable thing it is. And feminists are speaking out against it.

And yes, the heavily polluted environment in the book is only a slight exaggeration of what’s really happening right now, too. Pollution and widespread health problems resulting from it: check.

So my second reading of the book was: Yes, I get it. This is a barbarous, but very possible, vision of the future. But for the most part, it was still a bit far-fetched to me, as we appeared to be no nearer to it than we were when I first read it.

And now, there’s Almost-Middle-Aged Me. I’m on the third reading, and suddenly, it all looks frighteningly close. And not just because incipient middle age is making me far-sighted. I’m now about the same age Margaret Atwood was when she first wrote it, so I can see this through her eyes a bit more. And I can understand completely why she hesitated to write it at first. I would be more than a little hesitant myself, if it were me writing that. It’s the story of a frog being slowly brought to the boil, in a kettle full of millions of other unwitting frogs. How would one write something from that viewpoint?

Since the story is told only through the eyes of one Handmaid, we can’t see the bigger picture, even when/if we want to. Only glimpses and snippets of it. Only a myopic focus on the seemingly irrelevant details that Offred sees in her stifling round of existence. Little wonder Young Me found it all so choppy and hard to parse! Offred’s world is limited to whatever she can glimpse whenever she looks up momentarily from under the white wings of her nunnish bonnet. It’s a narrative composed entirely of tunnel visions. She can’t tell us all of what really happened because she couldn’t see it all herself. It came in increments, sandwiched between the mundane vagaries of a modern young working mother’s life, and by the time full-fledged theocratic fascism was upon her, it was already too late to do much of anything except try futilely to make a run for the border. (The Canadian border, of course, for this future dystopian theocracy is what once was the United States, and once more, an Underground Railroad for escaping slaves runs through it, ending in Canada.)

And we rarely even hear her naming herself, and when we do, and realize why she is called “Offred”, rather than a real name, it’s even more appalling. She is chattel, property, breeding stock. She is no longer a full person in her own right. She has no rights. And she is owned by a rather unimpressive older “Commander” named, we infer, Fred. All the Handmaids are known not by their real names, but by their owners’ names: Ofglen (who is Offred’s market-day companion), Ofwayne, Ofwarren. Which harks back, of course, to the days of slavery, when slaves were named by their owners, and bore their owners’ surnames, but also takes it a bit further: the Handmaids have no surnames (that we are aware of, anyhow); they are simply of their owner’s first names.

Margaret Atwood’s dry, sardonic humor is her signature, and it peeps through here and there, dealing an unexpected backhanded smack to those we think we ought to revere. All the Commanders’ names are WASPy, modern, and thus, oddly flat and unprepossessing when transposed to the roles they are meant to play. The Commanders are hardly the fearsome biblical patriarchs one ought to expect; on the contrary, they are rather meek, even downright wimpy. Fred is embarrassed almost to the point of impotence when doing the monthly sexual “Ceremony” in an effort to impregnate the narrator; his wife, a former televangelist named Pam (but known to the world as Serena Joy) seems a great deal more fierce during the deed than he, and even she comes off for the most part as a bitterly disappointed old lady with arthritis, whose garden and whose knitting (shades of Madame Defarge!) are her only solace. Later, after a failed visit to a brothel-like meeting-place known as “Jezebel’s”, Fred delegates the task of trying to impregnate the Handmaid to Nick, his younger (and one hopes, for Offred’s sake, handsomer and more virile) chauffeur.

If the Commanders are not biblical patriarchs with suitably impressive names like Isaiah or Jeremiah, what are they? And, if their roles are meant to mimic the biblical society of patriarchs, what are we to make of the biblical patriarchs themselves? To me, the Isaiahs and Jeremiahs of mythical times suddenly look not like Charlton Heston’s Moses, but like crabby old men with poor circulation, ulcers, and foot odor! In other words: mere mortals. Not prophets whose God-ordained word is to be taken seriously, much less literally.

Fred’s idea of subversion is to play Scrabble and read old magazines with the Handmaid in secret — a ludicrous detail that will make you chuckle a bit. This even though you know that women are not allowed to read, and that only men may do so (and then, only from scriptures, before the entire household). The harmless pastimes of today are, supposedly, the sinful, deadly vices of tomorrow. But again, like the Commanders’ names, this goofy little detail alerts us that theocracy would be truly silly if it went so far as to take the bible literally, down to the last letter. Saying that one does not suffer women to teach, but only to listen in humble subjection, is ludicrous. And that’s the whole point. These men are so plainly unfit to hold anyone in subjection, much less own her outright.

Certain once-modish “radical” concepts, like lesbian-separatist utopias, are also not left unscathed; the only actual lesbian we meet, Offred’s college friend Moira (also one of the few women who still bear their real names in this narrative), is just as mired in the dystopia of Gilead as everyone else, though she valiantly tries to escape. Her lesbianism, otherwise considered “gender treachery” and a hanging offence, becomes an underground girl-on-girl show at Jezebel’s, to titillate the bored Commanders; it is not a way of being, but a mode of performing. Enforced gender-separation, even the creation of a parallel “women’s society” run by the prison-matronly “Aunts”, does not eliminate sexism, but exacerbates it. Everything women do in Gilead is never for themselves or each other, but only for the benefit of a bunch of boring old fuddy-duddy men.

The men of Gilead certainly aren’t fit to run a government, and yet they do. And that’s what’s so scary. We are currently, more than ever, in danger of being Gilead: run by the stodgy, the stupid, and the unfit. In the United States, the epitome of stodgy, stupid unfitness is already president.

And this danger is with the rest of us constantly, unless we exercise our own judgment and rob them of that power before they ever get a chance to seize it fully.

The question now is, will we?

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Posted in Artsy-Fartsy Culture Stuff, Canadian Counterpunch, Confessions of a Bad German, Der Drumpf, Environmentally Ill, Fascism Without Swastikas, Fetus Fetishists, Filthy Stinking Rich, Human Rights FAIL, Pissing Jesus Off, Scary Thoughts, The United States of Amnesia, Uppity Wimmin | Comments Off

Music for a Sunday: One for all the recovering Christians

Posted on April 30, 2017 by Sabina Becker

Happy Walpurgisnacht for all my fellow Witches:

Mr. Sulu, warp speed.

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Wankers of the Week: Greater Again Already!

Posted on April 28, 2017 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone! And a very crappy one to the White House Squatter in Chief. You made it to 100 days in office, and that’s including all the weekends you went golfing at Mar-a-Lago on the taxpayer dime after promising to be the Hardest Working President Ever. Congrats, I guess. Especially on your epic economic fail! Hey, Amurrica is greater again already, amirite? And here’s who else is falling flat on their ass this week, in no particular order:

1. Donald Fucking Drumpf, Jr. Yeah, him. And you won’t believe what got him listed this week. Because who the fucking hell kills pregnant prairie dogs for “sport”???

2. Tim Fucking Nolan. And while we’re on the subject of people from the Drumpfian orbit, there’s this guy. Who did something much more predictable than #1, in that he engaged in trafficking and prostitution of a minor. Say, isn’t that what the Big Boss ALSO did?

3. Mike Fucking Huckabee. Billo’s been fired for making FUX Snooze look bad (or TOO bad, rather, since they don’t care if they look sexist and nasty until they start losing sponsors). So who’s gonna pick up the slack? Yeah. THIS guy. Aaand FUX is still looking pretty damn terrible. Good job, guys!

4. Mick Fucking Mulvaney. No, stupid, a border wall won’t protect anyone from diseases. People can get sick and die without help from out of country, especially since the US healthcare system is so damn shitty.

5. Ivy Fucking Taylor. No, unbelievers aren’t “broken”, and their lack of beliefs don’t cause homelessness. You’d be surprised at how many people living on the street are, in fact, believers. And their God let them down. But not as much as other people did, because it’s human callousness to one another, not to God, that really causes homelessness and poverty.

6. Steve Fucking Farese. Women are such good liars because they’re the weaker sex, huh? Well, dude, that’s a lie on two counts. So. How’d YOU get so fucking good at it? Oh yeah, that’s right…you keep getting your dick mixed up with your head!

7. Cheryl Fucking Hall. Your Drumpf hat is religious headgear? You, Florida Woman, are part of a dangerous, devil-worshipping cult. Take that thing off your head at once!

8. Sean Fucking Hannity. Oh surprise, surprise. The Baby Jesus, that paragon and champion of Repugnican Family Values™, is also a sexual harasser! Gee, what are the odds, given that he worked for a channel that harbored, hired, and was RUN by sexual harassers? PS: Petulant punkass is petulant. Cry moar, Baby Jeebus. PPS: Since when is Debbie Fucking Schlussel a “liberal”? She is a fascist, yes, but that’s the only part you got right. Silly Baby Jeebus.

9. Sheri Fucking Few. “Make America America Again”? Uh, that’s MAAA for short, and it sounds like just the kind of blatting you’d expect from right-wing sheeple. Which, of course, she is. The question is, when was “America” (i.e. the United States, which is NOT a continent, much as some might think it is) ever NOT “America”? It’s been so aggressively “America” this whole time that the world is collectively rolling its eyes hard enough to glimpse its own brain.

10. Scott Fucking Baio. Joanie may have loved Chachi, but everyone else thinks he’s a dick…and what he had to say about his former co-star’s death has not exactly done anything to change that. Well, other than dig the hole deeper, of course. Hey shitass, she died of CANCER, not drugs and alcohol. And dammit, why couldn’t it be YOU instead? PS: Nice of you to send your wife to do your dirty work, you little shit.

11. Theresa Fucking May. She’s unelected, and what’s she doing? Everything she can to stay that way, apparently. Up to and including disenfranchisement of expat voters. Does she think they’re all progressives, perchance? How funny it will be when THAT gambit blows up in her face, along with all the others.

12. Sarah Fucking Palin. Yee-haw! Snowbilly Grifter has done it again. And what is it this time? Telling people they have to “earn” their “free” college tuition. Um, Quitbull…words mean things. Free things don’t have to be “earned”. Also, you’re no longer in power anywhere, and therefore, in no position to tell people what they should or shouldn’t do to get college tuition. Go back to your meth lab and don’t say another word, ‘kay?

13. Kellie Fucking Leitch. Get the fuck out. No, that’s not a message to border-crossing refugee claimants, Kellie…that’s what I have to say about you and politics in general. Get. The. FUCK. OUT.

14. Ivanka Fucking Drumpf. She got booed in Germany? Gee, I wonder why. No, really: I wonder why.

15. Milo Fucking Yiannopoulos. Yeah-Nope never learns, does he? Berkeley has made it abundantly clear that they want nothing to do with this opposite-of-fabulous douchebag and his ugly habit of setting trolls on innocent people, but he’s planning to come back and occupy it. In the name of FREEZE PEACH, of course…which he seems to think he owns and has invented (yeah-nope, and YEAH, NOPE.) For his sake, I hope he has some damn good medical insurance, because he’s probably gonna need it when the dust settles and the Antifa are through with his coked-out, drunken ass. PS: Still waiting for your apology for radicalizing these two fucking terrorists, Milo!

16. Sebastian Fucking Gorka. He may be one of Drumpf’s “advisors” (say that in a Wile E. Coyote Sooooooper Genius voice, kiddies), but he sure as fuck ain’t no expert. And he can’t handle questioning by undergrad students. What diploma mill did he get his Ph.D. from, again? Because he doesn’t even understand what cultural appropriation means. PS: Ha, ha!

17. Alex Fucking Jones. Yes, it’s been a banner week for the Tinfoil King. And this week has seen him get sued by a yogurt company, and also bragging about a lot of teenage sex that I’m pretty sure he hasn’t had, unless he counts the number of women who’ve told him to go piss up a rope. Aaaand not surprisingly, he’s lost custody of his kids as a result of all that and, I’m sure, a whole lot more tinfoily stuff that we didn’t get to hear about.

18. Mike Fucking Enzi. Telling LGBT kids that they’re “asking for it” by just being themselves? Smells like victim-blaming to me. Guess Wyoming STILL isn’t living up to its billing as “The Equality State”. Also, nice nopology, asshole!

19. Kevin O’Fucking Leary. Yay, he’s dropping out of the Con leadership race! But he’s now endorsing…Maxime Fucking Bernier? Yeah, this is a distinct case of Dumb endorsing Dumber. Could be worse, though, he could be endorsing #13…who is not only fucking stupid, but seriously fucking SCARY. PS: Ha, ha.

20. Jesse Fucking Watters. So okay, #14 is most emphatically NOT a feminist role model. But does Billo’s former sidekick really have to sexualize her like that? Does he? Ugh. PS: Nice lame excuse-making, too.

21. Sean Fucking Spicer. He blames Obama for a security clearance that his boss handed out? Dude, I blame the White House Easter Bunny.

22. Ammiel Fucking Hirsch. Jewish Voice for Peace is a terrorist group? Oy fucking vey. And here I thought they were a Jewish PEACE group. One that doesn’t consider Israel to be some kind of holy grail, but a source of grief for their Palestinian brethren. And one that considers peace, not Zionism, to be the best expression of their Jewish souls.

23. Dave Fucking Daubenmire. Look, Mr. Amurrican Taliban, I’ve got a lot of problems with FUX Snooze requiring its women to wear dresses and sit at a camera angle that highlights their legs. But that’s just it: It’s FUX Snooze requiring them to do this. They’re not doing it of their own free will. They don’t get to wear pants. And they are NOT “inviting” sexual assault, although I’m sure Roger Fucking Ailes, Bill O’Fucking Reilly, and all the rest of the creepers would like nothing better than to read it that way, so they can all go on getting away with murder.

24. Jason Fucking Chaffetz. He’s quitting Congress, but he’s still rushing to squeeze in that last-minute Obamacare via surgery to remove some 12-year-old screws and pins in a leg he broke long ago. While denying it to the taxpayers who foot (heh) his salary. It doesn’t get much more wanky than that, does it?

25. Randy Fucking Weber. Oh, dry the fuck UP, you whited sepulchre. God doesn’t care a shit about same-sex marriage or legal abortion. We’ve had the former here in Canada for over a decade, and the latter since 1988, and nobody’s upset about it except maybe Charles Fucking McVety. And who the hell cares what HE thinks? He’s a toxic turd, just like YOU.

26. David Fucking Duke. Creep, get your grotty fascist mind out of white girls’ pants. And everyone else’s pants too, for that matter.

27. Marine Le Fucking Pen. And speaking of grotty fascists, how about her? She’s out to erase not only Muslims, but Jews from France. Don’t be buying that “moderation” hype, mes amis. And don’t kid yourself that it’s just “secularism” that she’s promoting, either. Secularism means no official state religion, not official persecution of minority religions by the state!

28. Andrew Fucking Anglin. And continuing with the “grotty fascist” theme, since we’re on a roll here: Apparently, the great national goal for all these white supremacist proudboys is to get their sadistic little jollies (VERY little, in the case of Andy, who’s 5’2” and 140 pounds sopping wet) from making fat chicks cry and, like Brave Sir Robin, running away from any man who comes to a woman’s defence. Yes, REALLY.

29. Wayne LaFucking Pierre. Yes, folks, The Peter is still wanking. And no wonder: Gun sales have sagged since the threat of Obama coming to take your guns away has waned! He has to gin up sales for his industry owners somehow!

30. Robert Fucking Fisher. Surprise, surprise, surprise…the founder of Reddit’s infamous “Red Pill” forum is a do-nothing Repuke state rep from New Hampshire! He also has two dinky little computer repair shops. He likes to inflate his image, but he’s not exactly a hit with the ladies (whose intelligence he’s constantly insulting, not that he’s bitter or anything). He’s even a rape and pederasty apologist! It’s almost like all this shit fits in with some kind of general pattern, isn’t it?

And finally, to all the right-wing terrorists out there. Especially the fucking proudboys who deliberately incite riots and think that cereal beatdowns (yes, really) are some kind of training for the racial “holy war” to come. Please, continue to make asses of yourselves. There are not so many of you, but there are plenty of baseball bats that need to be christened, and there are plenty of antifa heroes waiting for their chance to punch a Nazi in the name of REAL freedom. And given what wimps the lot of you are, it shouldn’t take much to make you cry. Or beat a hasty retreat with your tiny schlongs tucked between your clumsy legs.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Quotable: Robert Ingersoll on religion

Posted on April 27, 2017 by Sabina Becker

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Posted in Pissing Jesus Off, Quotable Notables | Comments Off

Venezuela prepares to exit the OAS

Posted on April 26, 2017 by Sabina Becker

Put the kettle on, honey, because you’re going to be needing hot tea when you hear this:

Yes, that’s right: Venezuela is planning to leave the Organization of American States! Aporrea has the story:

Venezuelan minister of exterior relations Delcy Rodríguez stated on Tuesday that she had received instructions from president Nicolás Maduro to start the process of removing Venezuela from the Organization of American States, upon hearing of a meeting set for this Wednesday which violates the institution’s norms.

“If there is any meeting of the foreign ministers of the OAS that does not have the support and consent of the government of Venezuela, I have received instructions from the chief of state, President Nicolás Maduro, to begin the proceedings of removing Venezuela from this organization,” said the foreign minister in a phone call with VTV.

The meeting in question brings together various countries of the bloc to once more violate the norms of the organization itself in directing acts of interference against Venezuela.

Translation mine.

So, that’s why Venezuela wants out.

And if you think that’s a drastic measure, may I remind you that the secretary-general of the OAS, Luis Almagro himself, has met with three putschist deserters from the Venezuelan armed forces? And that he is also meddling in Venezuela’s democratic process from his own bully pulpit?

The more I learn of the OAS’s crimes against a member state, the less I can blame Venezuela for wanting out.

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Posted in Fascism Without Swastikas, Huguito Chavecito, Human Rights FAIL, Isn't That Illegal? | Comments Off

Stephen Colbert gets man-cubed

Posted on April 26, 2017 by Sabina Becker

Thank the Gods that we have Stephen Colbert to follow the weird ins and outs of Alex Jones’s legal fights, so we don’t have to. And this time ’round, things get really messy, because a leading yogurt company has sued the right-wing tinfoil ranter for defamation:

We also learn that teenage Alex, if his boasts are anything to be believed (???), got into brawls with “full-grown men” and was already fucking “college girls”. The question is, what full-grown man would fight this snot-nosed punk? And what grown-ass woman would climb into bed with him?

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Posted in Sick Frickin' Bastards, The United States of Amnesia, The WTF? Files | Comments Off

Cops Behaving Badly: An unholy alliance in Flint, Michigan

Posted on April 25, 2017 by Sabina Becker

This is fucked up on so many levels:

They were arresting town-hall attendees in Flint. Not for rioting or anything close to it, but for cussing during a moment of emotional agitation, and for wearing hats in a church (but only if you were male; women were allowed to keep theirs on, which is kind of funny, because they weren’t arresting any bareheaded women, as church doctrine would actually require them to do if they were really so religious about it all).

Yes, that’s what it takes to be arrested in Flint: Wearing a hat in church, while male.

I don’t hear any men’s rightzers screaming about THIS, though. They’re right-wing as fuck, and of course they don’t give a shit about anything that happens to black folks in Michigan, or the poor or the disabled, as long as they get whatever the hell THEY want. Only progressives would care, because this isn’t actually about masculinity or the right to wear a hat in church (or the obligation to veil oneself, if female) — it’s about the right to clean, safe drinking water, which the good folks of Flint don’t have.

And it’s also about the right to speak freely in a democracy, which the good folks of Flint also apparently don’t have. Because if they did, their voices would be heard, regardless of whether or not they cussed while upset, or wore a hat in a church. The church and the state have conspired against the people.

And in a country that prides itself on freedom of speech, the right to peaceably assemble, and democracy, that’s ironic and terrifying as fuck.

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