News of the Restless

Ugh. Get a load of this:

I’m feeling kinda sado-masochistic tonight, so I’m gonna take this nopology apart turd by turd, and show you just how big a pile of shit it is, and how sorry he is NOT. Ready? Here we go:

0:01-30: “I’m a gay man…and a child abuse victim”: Oh, NOW he’s a victim? Funny how he was always at great pains to deny that before. It seems that sexual-abuse victimhood is only worth Milo taking it seriously when it happens to him…and even then, only when he can exploit it for sympathy. Any empathy I might have had for him as a fellow rape victim is already lost right here.

0:31-40: “In the years after what happened, I fell into alcohol and nihilistic partying”: Well, fucking duh. That’s obvious. It looks like he’s still into that, and has never quit it since. He’s certainly not acting like someone who has actually entered recovery!

0:41–45: “A few years ago, I realized it was time to do something good with my life”: Bull-fucking-SHIT. Turning full-time right-wing propagandist and straight-up fascist Twitter troll was “something good”, Milo? I’d say it was more a means to keep yourself in booze and blow, just as abandoning Trotsky and embracing Dubya’s wars was a means to similar ends for Christopher Fucking Hitchens (may he rot in peace).

0:46-53: “But the black comedy, the gallows humor, and the love of shock value I (unintelligible) to my twenties never really went away.” Fucking duh, again. You just made a profession of it for the reasons stated above, eh Milo? In other words: You just found a way to channel your latent aggressions and make money at the same time in a burgeoning market for trolls.

0:54-1:04:”I’ve reviewed the tapes that appeared a few days ago in the proper context”: Notice how he’s backpedalling to claim “context” here, and still claiming not to have said what we all heard him say? Where have we seen that sort of thing before? And how funny of him to claim he was taken out of context, when his own former employer did the exact same thing to Shirley Sherrod.

1:05-10: “Nonetheless, I do say some things on the tapes…”: Backpedalling some more. Unfortunately, this bike only moves one way…

1:11-19: “My experiences as a victim led me to believe I could say almost anything on this subject…” And what a surprise — they don’t! In fact, what he’s said has been nothing but injurious to other victims of abuse…and strictly self-serving, as noted above.

1:20-27: “But I understand that my usual blend of sassy gay British sarcasm, provocation and gallows humor [there’s that stock phrase again!] might have come across as flippancy.” MIGHT have? Try DID. And stop claiming humor as an excuse.

1:28-43: “A lack of care for other victims, or even worse, advocacy”: No, Milo, this is not just how it “might have come across”. You straight-up SAID, on numerous occasions, that you don’t care about victims, that you’re fine with “sexual relationships” between adults who are old enough to know better and preadolescent kids who are not. You even called consent “oppressive”! You straight-up advocated such “coming-of-age” relationships as typical of “the homosexual community”, normalized them, and even defended them as being good for young gay boys, and claimed that they never harmed you (in direct contradiction of your very first statement here). The fact that it’s healthier to come of age with someone your own age just never seems to have occurred to you as being a norm, much less worth defending. Yet from the gay guys I have known in my life, it IS a norm, and it’s the way most of them wanted it. As my best friend (who is one of them) told me once, “If I’m going to be gay, I’m going to do it with someone my own age.”

1:44-54: “I’m horrified by pedophilia and have devoted large portions of my career to exposing child abusers”: Really? Where? When? I seem to have missed those “large portions” of your rather limited career, Milo. And which “three of them” were they? Name names, and don’t slam your critics. They are critical of you for reasons which are many and good.

1:55-8: “I’ve repeatedly expressed disgust at pedophilia…”: Yes, and you also made clear that by “pedophilia” you were referring to prepubescent kids only, not ones who have already embarked on puberty as you had at the time of the incidents in question. Which is also very disingenuous. In the final analysis, victims of pederasty are no less harmed than victims of pedophilia, because both were taken advantage of by persons older, larger, wilier, in positions of power, and therefore much more dangerous.

1:59-2:09: “And I was also the first journalist in the UK to ask…”: Really? The first one to question whether Jimmy Savile was a pervert? I somehow doubt that very much.

2:10-49: “But I do understand that the videos…”: And there he goes with the “deceptively edited” bit. Nobody put those words in your mouth, Milo. You uttered them. And it’s not the first or the only time you’ve defended child sexual abuse, either. And you certainly didn’t go out of your way on that tape to say that what happened to you at 13 was not okay, either.

2:50-2: “We have a different approach to these things sometimes in Europe.” And there he goes with the very excuse-making he claims not to do, defending a lower age of consent — in GERMANY. Where did the abuse take place, again? Pretty sure it wasn’t in Germany, since Milo is British and pro-Brexit, and he mentioned a “Father Michael” on the “deceptively edited” video, pronouncing the name the English way. And in any case, aren’t priests supposed to be celibate? Meaning, even with 13- and 14-year-olds of the same sex, it’s still taboo and canonically illegal, even if it is woefully commonplace?

2:53-3:03: “I shouldn’t have used the word ‘boy’…” And here we get treated, quite needlessly and patronizingly, to the supposedly so very different semantics of the supposedly oh-so-different subculture in which this kind of thing is supposedly okay, as if being gay were a completely different society from the patriarchy we all grew up in (it isn’t). And as if straight people with gay friends couldn’t be expected to know better (oh, trust me, we DO). What an insult to our collective intelligence! And it’s just the sort of predictable shit a fuckwit like Milo would indulge in, too.

3:04-9: “I was in fact talking about my own relationship, when I was 17, with a man who was 29…” Oh, oh, suddenly he was 17, and the man was 29? What happened to 13/14-year-old Milo and the priest? And why this sudden time jump? Still, this later relationship spans a pretty vast gulf of years, and occurred when he was at a vulnerable age. Coming just a few years after his having been molested by a priest, can we really infer that this was a healthy, normal gay-boy thing? I mean, Milo isn’t exactly a healthy, normal gay boy, is he?

3:10-23: “The age of consent in the UK is 16” — notice how here he’s eliding the issue, stealthily leading away from what happened to him when he could not legally give consent? And that “…and every gay man knows it” is stretching things a bit, too. No, NOT every gay man, Milo. I know many who would roll their eyes at what you’re claiming. And there’s a big difference between merely talking to an older person in the same boat as you about coming to grips with your sexuality, and actually going to bed with them. Going to bed with them is not going to “help” with anything, other than maybe a raging case of blue-balled virginity.

3:24-33: “I’m certainly guilty of imprecise language…” Well, I’m glad we cleared THAT up. But I don’t get the impression that you really regret it, Milo. I think you’re just regretting the fact that you got caught out, and that it cost you a plummy speaking invite and a rather lucrative book deal.

3:34-45: “I am implacably opposed to the normalization of pedophilia…” That’s not the impression I get, especially not from all the slippery passages noted above. You were more than happy, on the podcast, to defend the “messy” nature of “relationships” consisting of older men crossing the line with impressionable boys. And that’s all part of a larger pattern of you defending rape culture in general, too.

3:46-52: “The remarks I made on podcasts and interview more than a year ago…” What difference does it make if those were only your life experiences, Milo? You’re not an exceptional case, even if you think you are. You can’t very well claim victimhood on the one hand and then in practically the same breath, say that you were mature enough to handle it and remain basically unaffected. That kind of talk is arrogant, it is ignorant, and it is a slap in the face to sexual abuse victims of all ages and genders. Especially in view of what follows.

3:53-4:24 “I will not apologize…” “Humor and provocation” are appropriate ways of dealing with victimization? Maybe sometimes. But when your “humor” relies on punching down, and your “provocation” does not comfort the afflicted, but only adds to the comfort of the unafflicted who have victimized them? Nope. And nice weaselling-out with that “may” in there, too. Abuse victims are not any less abused if they don’t find you “flippant and uncaring”, Milo. It isn’t how a victim reacts that determines whether it was abuse; it is what the abuser does to the victim. And you are only twisting the knife deeper with these words. You are essentially telling people to shut up and stop criticizing your shitty, unfunny “jokes”, or being provoked when you deliberately set out to needle them. What gives you the right to hurt them? Nothing. And when people have grown sick of your shit, stop whining that you still deserve a platform to mock them and their suffering. You deserve none of that.

4:25-35: “I’m not afforded the same freedom to make those kinds of jokes…because I’m a conservative.” Oh, boo fucking hoo. The media are the real bad guys for taking this lackwittery up (belatedly) and finally running with it, not bullyboy Milo! Care for some cheese with that white whine, little snowflake?

4:36-40: “But I said some things on those internet live-streams that were simply wrong” — well, duh. And how big of you to admit it, Milo. We’re past the halfway mark here when he finally has his stopped-clock moment, folks.

4:41-5:05: “My employer, Breitbart News, has stood by me while others caved.” Oh, so now you’re a “journalist”? I thought you were a “comedian”, Milo. Which is it? Because you’re sure no Jon Stewart — and he is both a comedian AND a journalist (albeit reluctantly the latter). It’s not exactly a point of pride to have such a shitty “news” outlet stand by one, but it’s even sadder and more telling when they beg you to quit, eh?

5:06-16: “This decision is mine alone” — ha, ha, NOPE. And the “great work they do” is so “great” that advertisers are deserting them in droves.

5:17-32: “My book ‘Dangerous’ has received interest from other publishers…” Oh? Who? Because I can’t imagine anyone being interested in publishing such a toxic turdpile after this. At least, not anyone reputable.

5:33-8: “I haven’t ever apologized before…” Well, that’s obvious. And there’s his second stopped-clock moment. But Milo…why not? Could it be some sociopathic element in your personality, which renders you incapable of seeing that you’re doing wrong…whenever you’re not straight-up lying and just plain full of shit? After all, being sorry doesn’t pay nearly as well as being an unrepentant jackanapes and then, when called out, whining that nobody can take a fucking joke.

5:39-48: “Name-calling doesn’t bother me…” Funny, but I think you’re quite touchy at being called out for an abuse apologist and a liar! And you know what’s absurd? Going on at this length about how on the one hand, you’re a victim (but really NOT a victim because you’re handling it soooo much better), and the other, how what you’re doing to other victims isn’t wrong!

5:49-57: “I regret the things I said…” Yes, but for what reason? Not wanting your parents to find out about it this way? How sad. I think you’re really just regretting it because you’ve been knocked out of your catbird seat.

5:58-6:14: “But let’s be clear about what’s happening here…” And here comes the biggest cowflop on the manure pile of bullshit that he’s emitting. No, Milo, this is NOT “a cynical media witch-hunt by people who do not care about children”. For one thing, you’re not a witch. A bitch, maybe, but a witch, never. If you really cared about abused kids, you wouldn’t be defending “coming-of-age relationships” that really aren’t. And you’d be up-front about who those “real” pedophiles are whom you supposedly exposed (but didn’t). You have actually done a lot of things wrong, and it’s just taken this long to come back to bite you. And you’re still lying, still covering your own ass, and still lashing out at those who’ve done nothing more than finally show you in the light you really deserved.

6:15-26: “They held this story back…” Really? Well, someone did, but it’s not the so-called liberal media. It’s your fellow conservatives who did that, and it took a teenage girl from Canada to dredge it up again and send it to the media, who did NOT hold back once they had a hold of this obscure old footage. Why did the conservatives cover your ass? Because they’re reactionaries who enjoy seeing others suffer. And who don’t care if some of those others are gay kids. Shame on you, Milo, for glossing over that salient fact. And fuck your maudlin self-pity, really.

6:27-46: “I will, in the next couple of weeks, be announcing a new independently-funded media venture of my own…” O RLY? And who’d be coughing up the financing for that? Especially since it is, by your own admission, a TROLLING venture? In other words, more bullying, more knife-twisting, more victim-revictimizing, accompanied by your usual self-aggrandizing, self-righteous self-pity? If I were you, I’d give up campus talks altogether, seeing as you’ve often been a no-show. And when you did show, all it’s ever resulted in is material damages and the (threat of a defunding from none other than Der Drumpf himself. And everyone knows how popular he is NOT with the university crowd!

6:47-58 : “I’m now a performer with millions of fans in America and beyond” — O RLY? At last count, they weren’t that many even on Twitter. And most of them were eggs. Probably quite a few bought and paid for by yourself or your mysterious “independently funded” backers, eh?

6:59-7:05: “My full focus now is going to be on entertaining and educating everyone”: Milo, STOP. You’re not entertaining, and you have nothing educative to impart. You are a professional troll. You were never anything but.

7:06-7: “If you want to brand or stereotype me, good luck with that” — Milo, you branded yourself as the court jester of the Orange Anus. You perpetuated your own stereotype by wearing ’60s toilet-seat covers as fashion accessories, and tacky heaps of fake pearls. There is literally nothing anyone else can do to you that you have not already done to yourself. Especially when it comes to giving you a bad name.

7:08-18: “Don’t think for a moment…” Oh, don’t worry, we won’t. But you’re not as “outrageously funny” or “provocative” as you think. Your schtick is old. It’s played out. Even in Peoria, your claptrap won’t get applause anymore. Give it a rest!

7:19-27: “America has a colossal free speech problem”: Yes, Milo, it most certainly HAS. It has mistaken hate speech for free speech. It has censored feminist, queer, antiracist, antifascist, socialist and communist speech in the name of this bogus “freedom”. It has set the goon squads on peaceful protesters demanding to be heard since time immemorial. And it is all too happy to grant platforms and pulpits to drunkards, incompetents, bullies and fools. Yes, Milo, you’re damn right about the United States having a freeze peach problem, but not in the way that you think! You are the drunkard at the lectern, and they are your enablers. You should be thanking them for that, not castigating them, because even now, you’re hardly being silenced, and you are getting a lot more leeway to babble than you ever deserved. It’s as much their shame as yours, and then some. Maybe some day they’ll learn that there is a difference between your ugly blather and actual free speech. Until then, the rest of the world will just look on with crossed arms, and shake its collective head.

7:28-end: “I’m proud to be a warrior for free speech…” Oh, shut the fuck UP, Milo. You were really fighting hard for Leslie Jones’s freedom of speech when you and your fellow arse-barnacles hounded her off Twitter, weren’t you? And you really gave a damn about everybody having the right to play video games when you aided and abetted the GamerGits who were trying to hound women and non-whites out of the video-game industry, too. You really supported free speech when you went after feminism, didn’t you? And I’m sure the LGBT community really appreciates your idiotic claim that “nutty broads” made you gay (no, sorry, Milo, only your mom did that, and only by choosing to give birth to your gay ass). You really supported free expression when you went after a trans woman, misgendering her and encouraging others to harass her to the point where she had to drop out of school. Didn’t you?

At long last, you arrogant ass…have you no fucking shame?