News of the Restless

Happy Friday. Happy Pi Day!

Posted on March 14, 2014 by Sabina Becker

Obligatory:

pi-pie-mind-blown

Also obligatory:

Great Canadian comedy. I’m having cake, BTW.

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Posted in Canadian Counterpunch, Good to Know, The WTF? Files | Comments Off

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Presidential selfies, LatAm style

Posted on March 14, 2014 by Sabina Becker

Call them the anti-Kardashians. These are the people whose selfies we actually WANT to see, precisely because they’re not vapid and self-absorbed, seeking all the eyeballs all the time. They’re too busy doing great things for their countries. Like this guy here:

pepe-mujica-selfie

Yup, that cool dude is none other than Pepe Mujica, the president of Uruguay, playing a cameo role in a selfie by Ramón Farías, a Chilean parliamentary deputy, at the inauguration of Michelle Bachelet. Wrote Farías on his tweeter: “How are we with this little photo. With President Mujica. My idol.”

Here he is with Evo, “the president who didn’t want to be absent”:

evo-selfie

Jeebus. Even those crappy little cellphone cameras can’t make Evo look bad. Nothing can.

And here’s another president who always looks amazing:

correa-selfie

Rafael Correa…demonstrating how he came to be known here as El Ecuadorable.

And here’s Dilma:

dilma-selfie

Meanwhile, in Venezuela, another head of state was also getting in on the trend:

maduro-selfie

Yup, that’s Madurito, getting into it with Sean Penn…and the prime minister of Haiti, Laurent Lamothe. Glad to see him having fun, it’s been a rough month for him.

(Thanks to Anthony for alerting me to the Farías selfies. PS: Give Ramón Farías a follow on the tweeter, he follows back!)

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Posted in All About Evo, Brazil is the Bomb!, Chile Sin Queso, Ecuadorable As Can Be, Festive Left Friday Blogging, Huguito Chavecito, Paraguay, Uruguay | Comments Off

Stupid Sex Tricks: Fellatio, Catholic style

Posted on March 13, 2014 by Sabina Becker

francisco-javier-martinez

Ladies! Have you ever wondered how to go down on your man without sinning? Never fear, there is a way! The Archbishop of Granada is your new sex guru:

Francisco Javier Martínez, the archbishop of Granada, Spain, gives advice to Catholic women on how to avoid sinning when performing oral sex on their partners.

“Women may perform fellatio on their husbands whenever they ask. But when they do so, they must think of Jesus in order not to turn perverted. Remember that you are not a pervert,” he says.

The prelate has already generated controversy with his book, “Marry and Submit”, published last December in Europe.

Ladies, don’t stop reading!

Translation mine.

“Close your eyes and think of Jesus”? Kinky! I wonder which hot Jesus from the movies I should think of. Oh, decisions, decisions…

I also wonder if the archbishop gives men similar advice regarding the Virgin Mary. Hey, it IS a natural form of birth control!

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Posted in Good to Know, Pissing Jesus Off, Stupid Sex Tricks, The WTF? Files, Under the Name of Spain, Uppity Wimmin | 1 Comment

What #PrayForVenezuela really means

Posted on March 12, 2014 by Sabina Becker

Also, tweet moar stupid hashtags! #SOScuálidos, maybe.

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Fine Young Cannibals, Huguito Chavecito, Spooks, The United States of Amnesia | 2 Comments

Who is paying Venezuela’s putschists?

Posted on March 12, 2014 by Sabina Becker

Video from Diosdado Cabello’s VTV show, in which the minister of justice talks about recent putschist activities in the state of Táchira, western Venezuela. Here’s the basic gist:

Guarimbero groups captured in Altamira, in the state of Miranda, where there have been violent demonstrations for more than 20 days, confessed to the authorities that they had been paid 5,000 bolivars a week by the Voluntad Popular party to keep up protests in the zone.

So said the minister of the Interior, Justice and Peace, Miguel Rodríguez Torres, on the VTV program, Con el Mazo Dando, hosted by the president of the National Assembly, Diosdado Cabello.

It bears mentioning that the oppositio party in question is that of Leopoldo López, currently in prison for various crimes.

Days before, the foreign minister, Elías Jaua, made public the proofs that confirm the participation of the United States in the financing of paramilitary groups in Venezuela, trained to generate violence.

Torres assured that the active participation in the protests on the part of Daniel Ceballos, the mayor of San Cristóbal, capital of the state of Táchira, is no secret to the authorities.

Translation mine.

I blogged on this earlier, so yeah, it’s no secret. Ceballos is a nasty piece of putschist work.

Meanwhile, who do you suppose could be behind all that? Jean-Guy Allard has a few ideas…

In the country which keeps Cuba on its infamous list of “terrorism sponsors”, during the last decade, a worrisome number of Venezuelans have met who have been tied to terrorist acts, from accomplices in the murder of Venezuelan prosecutor Danilo Anderson, to military officers accused of assaulting diplomatic installations.

All are in permanent contact with the terrorist mechanism created and maintained in Miami for decades by the CIA in the Cuban-American community.

Juan José Rendón, a so-called political advisor characterized by his absolute lack of scruples, has played counselor to Henrique Capriles Radonski and Álvaro Uribe, in his most immoral strategies, as well as the extreme right of Central America in Honduras and El Salvador, famous for their crimes and their servility to Washington.

The publication of the exchange of messages between Rendón and Ricardo Koesling, a Cuban-Venezuelan who for decades has moved in the orbit of Cuban-American terrorist Luis Posada Carriles, came just a few days before a violently anti-Chavista speech by the old CIA agent in a Miami college.

In a YouTube video, the “Miami Bin Laden” can be seen speaking at Miami-Dade College, saying that he will fight in any scenario, “including Venezuela”.

In his message to Koesling, Rendón speaks on behalf of Álvaro Uribe, right-wing ex-president of Colombia, known for his singular ties to both Washington and the paramilitaries. “He’s the one who sends resources and information from the States,” Rendón tells his interlocutor.

The exchange demonstrates clearly that the United States is behind the destabilization plans against Venezuelan president Nicolás Maduro and the planned annexation of part of Venezuela to Colombia — as expounded by Uribe.

Even though he is under an Interpol capture order by request of Venezuelan justice, Rendón lives in Miami, with the full knowledge and protection of the immigration authorities and the FBI.

The relationship between Posada and Koesling recalls the epoch when the terrorist directed the repressive operations of the DISIP [secret police] in Caracas, where he immortalized his stay with repugnant acts in torture sessions, notably of women.

In the Venezuelan political police, under Carlos Andrés Pérez, the CIA agent of Cuban origin tortured and “disappeared” dozens of young rebels, with such accomplices as Henry López Sisco and Joaquín Chaffardet, noted collaborators of the CIA, who remain to this day part of their mafia, benefiting from the generosity of the State Department.

Koesling was one of the perpetrators of the attack on the Cuban embassy in April 2002, along with Henrique Carpiles and his “fellow traveller”, Leopoldo López.

The Venezuelan putschists cannot tolerate Cubans who wear white doctors’ coats, but adore them when they go around with explosives. In the assassination of Danilo Anderson, it has been proven that the technique used in the making of the bomb was identical to that taught for decades by Luis Posada Carriles.

Héctor Pesquera, former FBI chief of Miami, was denounced as an accomplice in the crime, along with the aforementioned Venezuelans.

In his book, The Paths of the Warrior, where Luis Posada Carriles details the support that helped him flee prison in Venezuela on August 18, 1985, the terrorist repeatedly cites a partner of Koesling, the “unconditional Paco”, Francisco Pimentel, a Venezuelan businessman of Cuban origin. Today, Paco is part of the Venezuelan court of Posada in Miami, which he frequents assiduously along with known CIA collaborators and Venezuelan ex-military officers.

As well as Koesling, Paco is in constant communication with other veterans of the connection now working with Rendón: Salvador Romaní, another assailant of the Cuban embassy, and Pepe Vázquez, ex-DISIP torturer. It is known that, in late February 2009, Posada and another known terrorist, Ángel de Fana Serrano, showed themselves with Venezuelan putschists headed by Patricia Poleo, a fugitive from Venezuelan justice in the Anderson case. There, there were none other than those who hailed Pedro Carmona in the coup d’état of 2002: Army colonel Gustavo Díaz, Lieutenant José Antonio Colina Pulido, terrorist and self-proclaimed local Venezuelan “leader”, and the ex-commissar of the DISIP, Chaffardet.

The archives show how in the home of Chaffardet, in Caracas, material related to the attack on the Cuban civilian airliner, destroyed in flight in 1976, was found.

Poleo, daughter of millionaire editor Rafael Poleo, put down roots in Miami and colaborates in every operation launched in Venezuela at the initiative of the US embassy in Caracas.

Despite denunciations, the FBI continues to look the other way, as it has done on multiple occasions when it came to criminal activities by the bosses of the Cuban-American mafia.

The framework in which Rendón operates leaves no room for doubts. He is conspiring toward the eventual commision of terrorist acts. In the same country which uses the fight against terrorism as an accomplice for its interfering aggressions in the entire world.

However, the FBI once more twiddles its thumbs in the face of the evidence, and permits the development of a terrorist plot which, given the desperation of Álvaro Uribe, María Corina Machado, Leopoldo López and their ilk, will sooner or later lead to more attacks and murders.

The responsibility for such crimes must fall on the US authorities, who generate and pay for the violence in Venezuela from their own territory, “justified” by falsehoods spread by their global disinformation network.

Translation mine.

So there you go. Just all of the usual suspects, and shit. Ho hum. Move along, folks, nothing to see here!

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Posted in Crapagandarati, Cuba, Libre (de los Yanquis), CubanaBomber Death Watch, El NarcoPresidente, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Heroes for Today, Isn't That Illegal?, Law-Law Land, Not Hiding in Honduras, Spooks, The Salvador Option(s), The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

The ironies of the Venezuelan opposition, part 43

Posted on March 10, 2014 by Sabina Becker

‘Evening, folks, and welcome to another installment of VenOpIronía. Tonight, we puncture a few myths that the oppos have been trying very hard to sell the world. First up, the idea that these demonstrations are popular, and that it’s humble students rising up:

guarimba-sambil

Translation: “Guarimbas have been moved to shopping malls since they failed in the streets. They’re all alone…”

Second — and this one comes with a trigger warning for violence — the myth that they are just peaceful and non-violent, and protesting an unjust and “illegitimate” president:

Yes, that’s right…they’ve killed two more people, both of them from the poor folks’ part of town. This is why the guarimbas are failing in the streets. Remember, over 80% of Venezuelans disagree with these violent blockades, which serve no purpose except to disrupt daily life, enable corrupt opposition mayors (yes, that’s an irony, considering that the punks you see there claim they’re protesting against corruption on the part of Madurito et al), and result in the deaths of innocent persons who are either just trying to pass through, or trying to clean up the oppos’ vast amounts of trash.

And finally, here’s a little something to put en end to the foolish notion that these people are in any way patriotic:

Buoyed by the coup d’état in Ukraine that propelled fascists and even neo-Nazis to power, politicians of the most rancid South American far-right are at the front of a putschist conspiracy against Venezuela, which is trying to take advantage of yet another wave of violence to gain power. Headed by Adrián E. Oliva, president of the right-wing Democratic Parliamentary Alliance for Latin America (APDA) and member of UNOAMERICA, along with Venezuelan opposition deputy María Corina Machado, associated with Leopoldo López, the plot depends on millions of dollars from the US National Endowment for Democracy.

Oliva and Machado are trying to add right-wing parliamentarians to their destabilizing objectives in Venezuela and continue to support governments, members of parliaments and regional NGOs, which they pressure, under the false pretext of “human rights”, against the Bolivarian government in order to eventually promote the establishment a “transition” government in Venezuela.

Oliva, Machado, and the Argentine opposition deputy Cornelia Schmit, are in talks with Argentine and Colombian deputies to organize an APDA summit with the proposition of discussing the Venezuelan situation and to develop their plan to support the opposition for the toppling of the government of Nicolás Maduro.

They are trying to organize a delegation or commission of legislators of the Latin American far-right, signatories of APDA or not, to travel to Venezuela at a moment coinciding with new waves of opposition violence, to put out a call from Caracas to the international community for the formation of a “transition” government. Simultaneously, they purport to be “mediators” in the Venezuelan crisis for the formation of said government. The real intentions, of course, are to foment a coup d’état in the land.

Among the proposed “mediators”, aside from APDA, will be UNOAMERICA, the organization of those nostalgic for Plan Condor, the pseudo-NGO “Human Rights Foundation”, known for its participation in an assassination attempt against the president of Bolivia, and the paramilitary network belonging t Colombian ex-president Álvaro Uribe.

The “social” function of APDA is to back up and “legtimize” the coup attempts, assassinations, and violence currently afoot in Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador, Argentina and other progressive countries of the region. It is no coincidence that this supposed “alliance” was created just before the beginning of 2012, an election year in Venezuela, thus evidencing its objectives of discrediting the Bolivarian Revolution.

Oliva’s projects include starting a support campaign for Leopoldo López, similar to that begun by terrorist Alejandro Peña Esclusa, allying itself to him and seeking leadership on the right.

The biggest representative in Venezuela of UNOAMERICA, Peña Esclusa was arrested in Caracas with 900 grams of C-4 explosive and detonators, after beingn denounced by a Salvadoran, Francisco Chávez Abarca, a specialist trained in the use of the explosive by Cuban-American terrorist Luis Posada Carriles.

Meanwhile, the Human Rights Foundation is a creation of the CIA, headed by a known agent, Thor Halvorssen, who, not coincidentally, is closely related to Leopoldo López. He was an accomplice in the failed coup against Bolivian president Evo Morales, in 2009. The Bolivian office of Halvorssen’s fake NGO was directed from Miami by the Cuban-American terrorist Armando Valladares, also linked to the CIA, and a member of Luis Posada Carriles’ circle of friends.

Oliva and his group are also trying to use the destabilization of Venezuela to revive opposition forces in the governments of Bolivia, Ecuador, Argentina and other progressive nations in the region.

APDA, and its representative, Oliva Alcázar, are “protected children” of the far right of the US Senate and Congress. Their financing comes from the NED and USAID via UNOAMERICA, which has been repeatedly accused due to its CIA ties and which, at the same time, supplies money for the projects, trips and events of APDA.

Oliva learned terrorism and subversion from Hugo Acha Melgar, a Bolivian fugitive who financed terrorism in the Bolivian department of Santa Cruz during the failed coup of 2009, and its also associated with Human Rights Watch and the Human Rights Foundation.

Acha Melgar showed Oliva “the Washington money trail” and the ways of getting funding for his own benefit. He also taught him that the North American trafficking in denunciations for false human rights violations in countries inconvenient to the US is one of the most lucrative, and above all, if they are against ALBA countries.

In Bolivia, Oliva’s desperate protagonism has been more damaging for his career, now that his intention of positioning himself as leader of the Bolivian right before Europe and the US has caused all the opposition to turn their backs on him. This, along with constant denunciations of embezzling of funds, specifically used to pay for the services of prostitutes, is still the scandalous talk of the Hotel Savoy in Buenos Aires, where he refused to pay one of them for her services.

The level of mobilization and organization of the regional ultra-right against the democratically elected government of Venezuela is only possible with the multimillion-dollar financing of the US and big economic interests linked to the right, which is earmarked for dirty war against the government of Nicolás Maduro.

Translation mine. Linkage added.

So, once more, we see a lot of familiar names and usual suspects cropping up in this scheme. These people don’t give a tinker’s damn about the common good of the people who elected the governments they violently oppose. And since none of them are the least bit electable, they are turning to terrorism to undermine democracy. If that isn’t the most killing irony of all, I don’t know what is.

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Posted in All About Evo, Crapagandarati, Cuba, Libre (de los Yanquis), CubanaBomber Death Watch, Don't Cry For Argentina, Ecuadorable As Can Be, El NarcoPresidente, Fascism Without Swastikas, Filthy Stinking Rich, Fine Young Cannibals, Huguito Chavecito, Isn't It Ironic?, Isn't That Illegal?, Isn't That Racist?, Spooks, The Salvador Option(s), The United States of Amnesia | Comments Off

Music for a Sunday: I photographed you with my Rolleiflex

Posted on March 9, 2014 by Sabina Becker

João Gilberto sings “Desafinado”. The title means “Off Key”, and it’s actually supposed to sound like that. But meticulous artist that he is, João is in fact perfectly on, even when he sounds a little off. He seems off-beat, too, but listen carefully — he meant to do that. “This is bossa nova, this is totally natural.” Indeed.

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Posted in Brazil is the Bomb!, Music for a Sunday | 2 Comments

Wankers of the Week: Crappy Women’s Day!

Posted on March 8, 2014 by Sabina Becker

Crappy weekend, everyone…and crappy International Women’s Day, too. Which I don’t feel very much like celebrating today, because what’s to celebrate but reversals and bass-ackwardness all around? And with that said, here are this week’s backward asses, in no particular order:

1. Rob Fucking Ford. He went to Hollywood, thinking some of that tinsel dust would rub off on him. Or maybe he was hoping to peddle (or buy?) some high-grade cocaine there? Either way, all he ended up doing was making an even bigger ass of himself, on TV…and while dressed like a mafia pimp. PS: Aw, duzzums haz a mad? Too bad, so sad. You went to Hollywood. Didn’t you know you’d be appearing on a comedy show? Pull yourself together, Tweedledum.

2. Doug Fucking Ford. After Tweedledum got done making an ass of himself, Tweedledee was out running interference for him. As usual. When do you suppose he’ll finally get tired of all the lying, ass-covering and excuse-making?

3. Joe Fucking Warmington. Meanwhile, back in TO, Robbo’s ass-kisser in chief was busy holding down the fort, and writing rave reviews all sight unseen. When he actually saw it, his crapaganda had to be pulled…but not before the city got yet another reminder of why the SunMedia chain is a dumb redneck operation when all’s said.

4. Christopher Fucking Pagano, AGAIN. Because it wouldn’t be a wanklist without an actual wanker, and what better to wank with than a piece of Swiss cheese?

5 and 6. Charlene Fucking Ellet and Cameron Fucking Beck. This crime story has it all: Wal-Mart, shoplifting, infidelity, brother-sister incest, crystal meth, Texas. The only thing needed to truly take this one over the top is Jerry Springer.

7. Pat Fucking Robertson. If #5 and #6 are feeling at all lonely and beleaguered in their shitty existence, they should at least take some comfort knowing they have a friend in Jeebus…or at least Patwa, who is cool with incest as long as it’s not gay, and doesn’t make any “Mongoloid” kidlets.

8. Dana Fucking Snay. Stupid Facebook brags are stupid. But not as stupid as the stupidheads that make them.

9. George Fucking Will. Fighting for equal rights may not be neighborly. But then again, what exactly is the long-standing conservative animus against equal rights? Chopped liver?

10. Joe Fucking Scarborough. And how much are the Koch Bros paying you to put in a good word for them, Joe? I always did find it funny that someone like you, with such a massive skeleton in his closet, could still manage to evade a life sentence in the Florida state pen.

11. Steve Fucking Stockman. Meanwhile, in other news of highly questionable wingnuts, there’s him. Uh, Steve? Police mugshots are a matter of public records. You can’t order the arrest of anyone publishing them. Police don’t bust themselves, dumbass!

12. Ted Fucking Nugent. A cop? Really? Funny, I didn’t know they took pants-shitting draft dodgers who have committed statutory rape.

13. Bill Fucking Gothard. And speaking of statutory rape, would it greatly surprise you to know that a far-right Christian with ties to the Quiverfulls and Sarah Palin…is really not all that different from Warren Fucking Jeffs when you get right down to it? Thought not.

14. Mike Fucking Maggio. So, if “sluts are just whores in training”, as “geauxjudge” avers, what are overly judgy judges who like to talk stupid shit about “golden vajay jays” and “rodeo sex”, and insist that women should just put up with shitty husbands, because bitches be crazy? Probably the larval form of right-wing politicians. And garden-variety assholes? Why, they’re just geauxjudges in training!

15. Sam Fucking Sotiropoulos. What the fuck is “homosexism”? I don’t know, and I don’t think he does, either. But for some strange reason, he’s awfully frightened about naked gay guys at the Pride Parade. Well, Sam, there’s a very simple solution to your problem: Either come out of mothballs yourself, as I suspect you’re dying to do, or else just stay away and don’t look! PS: And stay off Twitter, too, if your skin’s so thin.

16. Peter Fucking MacKay. Why?

That’s why. Happy Women’s Day! PS: Sign, sign, SIGN.

17. Keenan Fucking Finkelstein. Another Florida ground-stander stands his ground…and shoots a sheriff’s deputy. Pull up a chair and make lots of popcorn, folks…this is gonna get mighty interesting.

18. Michael Fucking Medved. So, isn’t it nice to know that all those states that have tried to write same-sex marriage rights out of their constitutions…are just a “liberal lie”? I’m sure that would come as quite some surprise to the right-wing lawmakers who’ve been pushing for discriminatory amendments for the last few years!

19. Steven Fucking Jones. Preacher, con man, douchebag, one-man freak scene…yup, he’s a veritable Renaissance Man of dumbth.

20. Steve Fucking Santagati. Who the hell is this nobody, and why should any woman want his utterly uninformed opinion on anything? And more to the point, what is with all those ooky come-ons to Susan Sarandon?

21. Thurston Fucking Moore. So, calling a self-confessed serial cheater by his right name…is “gender fascism”? Suddenly, I’m not sorry I was never a fan of Sonic Youth. Of Kim Gordon, yes, she’s a classy lady — but not him. NEVER him. Because, “gender fascist” that I am, I’ve always had kind of a nose for douchebags…and yup, that right there’s the smell of rotting rubber, all right.

22. Jay Fucking Morse. Who polices the police? When a sex-crimes prosecutor is himself guilty as charged, is there any fucking hope left that military women will ever get justice?

23. David Fucking Cameron. Please quit trying to fake your way to gravitas; you look like a nincompoop when you pose for dramatic photos. You may be a pluperfect Tory toff, but “fake it till you make it” is not an option, and you, sirrah, are not to be taken seriously.

24. Patrick Fucking Rock. How strangely ironic that the man behind #23’s porn filters…has himself been found in possession of kiddie porn. I guess he figured he had the perfect front, eh?

25. Cara Fucking Claffy. Because mothers just hit themselves in the head with vibrators all the time.

26. Warren Fucking Farrell. Hey! Remember when he got the whiny sexist asswipes — sorry, human rights activists — of A Voice For Men to help him pick between three salacious covers for the new e-book edition of his nonsensical tome on how men are oppressed by their desire to fuck themselves into oblivion? Well, you’ll be delighted to know he went with Dat Ass. Not the ass he’d originally proposed, but a more “tasteful” tush, suitable for the cover of a book of erotica. Which, I’m sure, his maunderings are to him and his ilk. Everybody else, though, is grossed out.

27. Lily Fucking Allen. Just in time for Women’s Day, she too has decided to reveal herself as some daffy kind of Men’s Rightser. She doesn’t understand why feminism still exists, but she thinks WOMEN are “the enemy”? Quick recap: Feminism isn’t about hating men, it’s about ending sexism. And if you wonder why feminism still exists, and why just thinking you’re equal isn’t enough to make it so, better take a long hard look at your own internalized misogyny over there in the mirror. Because girl, that is NOT a good look. And that, not men, is what is being opposed here.

28. Vic Fucking Toews. Spying pervert gets appointed to Court of Queen’s Bench. I can’t even. There just isn’t enough face for all this palm.

29. Bernard Fucking Marsonek. Because doesn’t everyone have sex with pitbulls in the backyard? Jeez, people. Such prudes!

30. Michael Fucking McClendon. Because doesn’t everyone at West Point secretly make locker-room videos of female cadets? Gawd. It’s like a scene out of Porky’s!

31. Craig Fucking Cobb. So, finally, he’s fucking off out of Leith, ND? That’s the good news. The bad is that he’s still trying to Nazify the town. Let’s hope the locals find a way of taking it back…ALL back.

32. Borys Fucking Filatov. Nice new “leaders” Ukraine has. This Nazi-sympathizing oligarch as much as said to promise Crimea one thing, then do the opposite later. Oh yeah, and I’m sure the Crimeans are delighted to know that he considers them “scum” fit only for “hanging later”. Yeah, now we see why they prefer the Russians…eh?

33. Alex Fucking Levant. Meanwhile in Canada, we have gun nuts posing for macho photos, overtly threatening women in CUPE…on International Women’s Day, no less. And right after a woman at the university where he works was injured in a shooting. Charming little shit, ain’t he?

34. Darren Fucking Sharper. Pro tip: “Non-consensual sex” isn’t sex. It’s rape. And no, not saying rape doesn’t make it not-rape. Got that?

35. Michele Fucking Bachmann. Shit, who needs sisterly solidarity when you can have nasty partisan bitchery featuring the epic electoral fail that is Sarah Fucking Palin? As if having a woman on the ticket means your party is good for women. Mish, have you looked at the Repug platform lately?

36. Mitchell Fucking Wright. And in other absurdity involving women, nothing says “You’ve come a long way, baby!” like the phrase stripper meth ring. Oh yeah, and this guy worked for the DEA…past tense, please note.

37. Bobby Fucking Jindal. Way to put your foot in it, Piyush. And fuck that First Amendment, too, while you’re at it.

38. Francis Fucking Gurry. Collecting DNA evidence to catch a whistleblower? Wow. That’s some world-class fanaticism and paranoia you got there, dude.

39. Sarah Fucking Palin. And what would a weekly wankapedia be without her? Because this week, she wants to see Russia nuked. From her house in Wasilla, no doubt. While eating green eggs and ham, even.

40. Ann Fucking Coulter. And finally, the Coultergeist gets the nod, for her same-old-same-old racism, hyperbole, and genocidal fascism. Nice to see that age hasn’t mellowed her a bit, and that wisdom has come no closer to touching her than it ever did. I don’t have to tell her never to change, because she never will…and luckily, she can’t get much worse, unless she gnaws through the bottom of that rotten ol’ whisky barrel.

And finally, to our wonderful government, for getting the whole Crimea situation so completely fucked up that they’re refusing to do joint exercises with the Russian military, and are sending home nine Russian soldiers who had nothing to do with any of that. Way to go, you bag of dicks. Remind me again of why we got rid of the Berlin Wall, and why that whole Cold War thing was a bad idea? Oh yeah…you can’t because you’re still soaking in it. And just you wait till it comes back to bite you.

Good night, and get fucked!

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Posted in Wankers of the Week | Comments Off

Compare and contrast: Ukraine vs. Venezuela

Posted on March 7, 2014 by Sabina Becker

The boys of VTV’s Zurda Konducta dissect a crapaganda campaign that seems to have gone viral (or tried to, in the case of Venezuela). See if you can spot the similarities:

Did you see it? Both “viral” videos feature a pretty young woman delivering a heart-wrenching (and obviously canned) speech about how corrupt and crooked and direly in need of foreign intervention her country is. Self-serving politicians! People starving to death! Evil cops beating the shit out of peaceful protesters! And all you need to do to stop this unmitigated horror is share this video and tweet inane hashtags at the world. Hey, it worked for Ukraine, let’s see if it works for Venezuela!

Except, of course, it didn’t work for Ukraine. The country is now divided up between a loose coalition of homegrown and foreign neo-fascists, and the Crimean parliament (did you know the region was autonomous?) has voted to flip Kiev the bird and rejoin Russia (did you know that Crimea was Russian before Nikita Khrushchev, a self-styled Ukrainian, decided to hand it over to Ukraine?) And Crimea, despite being under dispute, has seen no gunshots, no bloodshed…and indeed, nothing in the streets except people having tea and sandwiches with that oh, SO scary Russian army. While Kiev has been torched and trashed, Simferopol, Sevastopol and other Crimean towns are all quiet and calm, in stark contrast to the fascist horror that has eaten the western half of Ukraine.

And just think, that’s what some people also want for Venezuela. I’m not kidding. I’ve blogged before on how Álvaro Uribe, the former president of Colombia, is behind a large part of the destabilization campaign in Venezuela. It’s no coincidence that the western part of Venezuela, which borders on Colombia, is the real prize in this dispute. That’s where the big, rich Maracaibo oilfields lie. Uribe would like nothing better than to annex these for himself. And he’s got a handful of Venezuelan oligarchs with similar ambitions in his pocket, agitating for a separate “republic”. (Sound familiar?) For the price of a few hundred paramilitaries to co-ordinate guarimbas, stir shit in the streets, and wreak terror by snipe-shooting anyone who dares to oppose the destabilization campaign, Uribe’s right up in the game.

And, with a little help from Uncle Sam’s Mighty Wurlitzer, a Ukraine-style crapaganda campaign to enlist international support for the insupportable is just the ticket, eh?

But what am I saying? Pay no attention to that little man behind the curtain. People are starving! STARVING, I tell you!

miguelitos

See how hungry those poor widdle middle-class kiddies are? They’re being forced to eat imported Yankee junk food while setting out “miguelitos” (homemade spike belts) in the street to kill passing motorcyclists.

Gee, I think I’ll go retweet some dumb little #PrayForSOS hashtags now!

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Opposition violence kills two more in Venezuela

Posted on March 6, 2014 by Sabina Becker

burned-motorcycle

A national guardsman’s motorcycle, torched by opposition thugs after the rider was assassinated by one of their snipers. Aporrea has the story:

Agnes López Lión, a sergeant of the Bolivarian National Guard, and a young mototaxi driver, José Gregorio Amaris Cantillo, died today as a result of gunshots to the head as they were gathering up debris left by groups of opposition vandals in Los Cortijos, in eastern Caracas.

The GNB officer “died after arriving at the Metropolitan Clinic,” according to Globovisión reporter Daniel Colina, via Twitter.

The news, first reported by citizens via social networks, was later confirmed by National Assembly president Diosdado Cabello.

“A motorcyclist was killed by a sniper when he was cleaning up a barricade, and a national guardsman was just assassinated in Los Cortijos,” Cabello denounced.

With these two deaths, the death toll of the recent violence in the land as of February 12 has reached 20. Cabello says that 72 persons remain in custody for promoting guarimbas.

“The motorcyclist was gathering up debris and the national guardsman also. Both dead of a single shot from a sniper on a building(…)A group of motorcyclists stopped to collect garbage and they were shot at,” said Cabello, adding that the person who shot the national guardsman in Valencia has been identified.

“He is a murderer. He will get 30 years in jail…almost certainly they will capture him,” Cabello affirmed.

“They are assassins, terrorists…it is a coup d’état against our land.”

In Los Cortijos, a mob of oppositionists chanting slogans burned Sgt. López’s motorcycle, after he was shot.

Following the incident, a great many National Guard members were sent to Los Cortijos, and their presence unleashed a torrent of opposition messages on the social networks, accusing the government of violating human rights and private property.

As is already the custom in the last two weeks, communicational activists of the opposition on the social networks have accused “the collectives”, meaning government sympathizers, and the government itself, of having caused the violence.

The dangerous guarimbas, combined with “wires of death”, have caused several fatalities and maintain a situation of virtual sequestration, violating the right of free transit, to thousands of families in various middle-class areas governed by opposition mayors, who passively permit and support these actions.

Translation mine.

So, once more, we see just how “peaceful” and “nonviolent” those huggable Venezuelan oppos are. And how they are all just totally to be trusted with the running of their country…straight into the ground.

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